depression Dealing with online classes while depressed and/or anxious

[Merry]

Hello, well, I had posted a few times about my son who has been struggling with his grief over losing his father suddenly to a heart attack two and a half years ago.  He has been seeing a wonderful therapist who recently recommended that I take him to  see a psychiatrist for an evaluation for possible anti-anxiety medication.

 

So..I would like for him to finish his ninth grade with a good feeling of accomplishment but he is struggling with his two online classes.  He has done very little reading for the Great Books class and is falling way behind on the vocabulary and grammar drills for the Latin class.  So I think I will let him drop them.  They are very challenging academically and fast paced. I am afraid that they have been overwhelming him and increasing his anxiety level.  However, I don't want him to feel like he was not capable of doing them if I were to let him drop them and also what should he do for the rest of the year?  He is at the point where he doesn't feel like reading very much nor writing.  The only thing he seems to be enthusiastic about doing is the Daily Grams (a grammar workbook) and maybe reading the Lord of the Rings.  How would that look on his transcript though?

 

If he were to drop the two online classes, I would make it clear to him that they were for medical reasons, and that he still would get credit for ninth grade English as long as he completed the grammar workbook and read a few books and did book reports. That way, he would not blame himself for not being able to keep up with the classes.  Is that sufficient for a decent 9th grade course?

 

It's difficult for me as a teacher because it's not as if he is severely depressed to the point where he can't get out of the house or something and he is doing well with his two outside classes at an university model school so I don't want to start a precedent of having him give up on a class if it's a bit too much work but at the same time I an concerned about getting him to heal.  It's a tough judgement call for me.

 

I am just feeling that even if he were to get on anti anxiety medications or any other medications soon, he is running out of time to do make up work for the two online classes and also I am feeling that he is at the point where he is so anxious about them that the classes are ruined for him, kwim?

 

So I guess I just really wish that we could take one or two months off right now and then pick up the classes again and maybe just finish them late into the summer but that's just the nature of the online classes and also of any brick and mortar classes that he will have to take eventually in the future.  Ugh.

 

 

[Hilltopmom]

Hang in there. I've been there myself & with a child.

I'd go ahead & drop the classes & do something different for those slots. Grammar, writing, literature.... There are many ways to do English without a great books online class:). If he's into LOTR, maybe try reading or listening to the audios, then watching the movies & comparing (my 13 yr old did that earlier this year).

 

Meds for depression can take months to get to the right meds& correct dose & start working. But can make SUCH a difference!

[almondbutterandjelly]

 The only thing he seems to be enthusiastic about doing is the Daily Grams (a grammar workbook) and maybe reading the Lord of the Rings.  How would that look on his transcript though?

 

 

First of all, it's your school so you get to decide what the course requirements are.  Won't his transcript just say English 9?  

 

If I were you, I would go with my gut.  If you think what you have listed is sufficient, then it is.  

 

Now you will hear that some people consider a high school english credit to be half composition and half literature.  I don't necessarily agree with that.  I personally include vocab and grammar and spelling in with the somewhat light (adequate, just light) composition and plenty of literature.

 

Your school.  You decide.  It sounds fine to me.  

[fourisenough]

I won't speak to the credits/what to do in place of the classes, but I will say that anti-depressant/anti-anxiety medication can be life changing! I would encourage you to prioritize his mental health over school work right now. Hopefully he can get some relief from his symptoms, then get back to a productive life. Hang in there- it won't last forever.

[Sebastian (a lady)]

I think that you could be perfectly justified in dropping the online classes.  If he is struggling emotionally and with depression, it may be very tough for him to dig into something that requires a lot of mental concentration like heavier Great Books selections of foreign language vocabulary.

 

I am a big proponent of Great Books style reading, but I also think the reader has to be in a place where they can work through the heavier language and concepts some of these books entail.

 

Depending on the online course, you might contact the provider, explain the situation and ask for a withdrawal.  There might not be much they can do if it's a one year course, but they might be able to freeze his participation and then reenroll him next year.  At least if you explain that this is a withdrawal for health reasons, they may have fewer hesitations if you decide to reregister him for the courses later.  You can list Latin as a half credit based on first semester (something like Latin 1A).

 

Have you talked to the therapist about the question of school work.  I would think this is a topic that comes up for traditionally schooled kids too.  How much is too much for them to handle?  When should they push through?  Do they think it better if book selections address depression and grief or avoid those subjects?  

 

I'm not sure what the other content of your English course was.  There are some really great books that might be a little less demanding than traditional Great Books.  I'm thinking of things like Sherlock Holmes, Treasure Island, Dr Jekyl and Mr Hyde (you might pre read this one, I don't know how the content would resonate with him).  It might be a good semester do use just short stories (Windows to the World does this, but so do a lot of traditional English textbooks).  What about doing a couple months on drama, where he can start with watching video versions of the plays, then reading through them.  (There is lots of Shakespeare available, as well as plays like The Importance of Being Earnest.)  Would books about surviving hardship be a good fit (I'm thinking of books like Hatchet, Swiss Family Robinson, Robinson Crusoe (there is an excellent audio version of this read by Jim Weiss that I found in our library), Apollo 13, etc.

 

Hugs to you and to your kid.

 

 

[TKDmom]

Prioritize the mental health. I had to do that recently for my 9th grade dd, although she is only dealing with anxiety and perfectionism, not a traumatic loss. :crying:   :grouphug:

 

I spent weeks and months agonizing over her schedule this year. I've known since October that it's too hard for her, but I kept thinking she just needed to push through and that she would feel like a failure if she quit. Finally, this month, I sat her down and we had the most amazing conversation. We talked about her hopes and dreams, discussed the classes that she is taking and whether or not they are contributing to her long-term goals and happiness. I reassured her that people change classes at the semester break all the time, and it would not make her a failure if we admit that the current classes were not a good fit for her. Then...I let her make the decision. I gave a lot of input and thoughts and scaffolding, but I finally realized that she is old enough to start learning how to make these decisions herself. Both of us feel like such a weight have been lifted off our chests. She's excited about things again, instead of crying about her failures multiple times a week. And what she wants to do is so much more interesting than the traditional path I'd charted out for her.

 

I realize that my experience won't be the same as yours, because our circumstances are much different, but hopefully there's something in there that will be useful for you. Again, ((hugs)).  I deal with anxiety and depression, and medication has made a huge difference in my life. I always thought some of my behaviors were personality flaws because I was a "rotten" person. But after I started on meds, I discovered that those behaviors were my anxiety, not me. It was life-changing and brought me a lot of hope.

[Lanny]

I won't speak to the credits/what to do in place of the classes, but I will say that anti-depressant/anti-anxiety medication can be life changing! I would encourage you to prioritize his mental health over school work right now. Hopefully he can get some relief from his symptoms, then get back to a productive life. Hang in there- it won't last forever.

 

This.   I don't know how long he has been going to a Psychologist, but IMO he is past due for some visits with a "Board Certified" Psychiatrist.   The Psychiatrist might have a completely different Diagnosis after talking with him and examining him.  And, if a medication is in order, hopefully the Psychiatrist can find, quickly, the best medication for him.    There may be some Physical reason(s), in addition to the Grief/Depression/Anxious that you mentioned. A Psychiatrist can treat the entire package (in this case the package is your DS).   Physical Exercise will help your DS, in many ways, so I would encourage him to ride his bike, run, jog, be involved with local kids in the neighborhood after they are home from school, etc.  Daily exercise!

[Merry]

I just talked with my son about dropping the class.  He doesn't drop the class so I talked with the provider about his problem with keeping up with the reading.  The provider was very understanding so I guess we will keep going with the class and just hope that he passes it at least. 

 

Also the psychiatrist is booked for six weeks so I am making some adjustments in his other subjects.

Edited January 28, 2016 by Merry

[GoodGrief]

I've got a daughter who has been severely impacted by mental health issues in the last year. She is on meds, and I am not anti-meds. However, I would definitely drop a class first, before adding meds to the mix.

 

Healing does take time, even with a great therapist. Meds may be needed eventually, but if you can lessen stressors for now to give him time to heal, that's a good thing.

[happycc]

I was severely depressed and troubled as a teen due to intense family issues and somehow I made it into a four yr university missing about half of sophomore year and all of my junior year. I did get a 4.0 in all four quarters in my senior of high school. I think the high school principal managed to flub some things I did based on the work I was giving teachers at the school. 

 

ANyways think of all the skills he did gain while seeing his therapist....

 

perhaps count as psychology credits maybe 

keep a blog about grieving...that could count as writing perhaps? Plus typing skills. 

Health credits-importance of self care. 

 

I am just trying to be creative here. I think that is what my high school principal did at the high school I attended my senior year.

The year I spent in junior year and half of sophomore were in placements and essentially you got an "A " watching DeGrassi High and not throwing a chair out the window. It was the most dumbed down learning situation I went through and absolutely demolished my academic self esteem but it was the best they could do for me. I was so depressed that I had a hard time focusing on anything. Plus the environment I was placed in was awfully violent and unsafe. 

 

[Janeway]

It sounds good to me. I am very sorry for your family's loss. I think he will be fine doing just that. To be honest, public school takes up way more time that the education takes. And when we work from home, we try to come up with enough work to fill up the time public school would have taken. He will be good with that.

 

Might I suggest trying to find a passion for him? Depression and anxiety can be helped through a creative outlet. I have taken to drawing. And because of this, I have all my children try a variety of activities until they find things to settle in to. It has been amazing the difference it makes. They have not lost a parent though. But it might help some. Every bit helps. (((hugs)))

[MariaT]

I am so sorry for your loss.

I have a teen who also struggles with depression, and yes, the meds are great, but as others posted it took a while for the benefits to manifest.

I do want to comment on the not keeping up with the readings-- this seems a very age-related issue, at least it has been for my family. Those years of 13-15 are when they are still transitioning in their intellectual development, and while intellectually they are quite capable of a course with heavy reading, my kids always struggled with the organization and time management of it. I found my kids needed a warm body next to them to help them get the work done. So, when my kids fell behind in that age-- and they all did, at 13-15, in one thing or another-- we had to take a step back and help with reorganizing their schedule to give them the time, and be present to them while they did the work. My oldest did a coop class on War and Peace at that age-- I read it too, so he had someone at home to talk to. My second son fell way behind in an AP World History course-- I sat with him to make lists with him on what he needed to do every day to catch up, then oversaw that work.  My daughter was not doing the work for an intensive Shakespeare class at coop-- so now I sit with her and we read the plays aloud, alternating roles, one act per day.  It's not the most fun part of homeschooling! But particularly with depression, when a teen already feels isolated, that can be a way to be companionable, present. And it gives them the chance to comment on what they are learning.

All the best-- Maria