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Found 14 results

  1. Hi there, I stumbled upon these forums the other day and I hope this is the appropriate place to be asking. I'm currently just looking for some advice, insight, curious of others who have been in a similar situation. 🙂 My youngest daughter is 9 and in the 4th grade. Our school district has been back in school full time since early November, before that she went every other day. She has dyslexia and she is hi-cap in math. Due to covid, they are in "cohorts" where they stick with the same teachers and kids and can't really stray from the people they are with. Socially, she is with all of her friends, and for her, that is much needed and well. Academically, she is in the highest reading and she is really struggling. She also has a teacher who is trying to ease some of her anxiety but she also has a personality that is a little, hmm, rough around the edges, so my daughter doesn't always see it as caring, even though I do think the teacher means well... Anyway, my daughter has been in tears over school off on and since they've gone back full time. The anxiety has really grown since after break and shes to the point where she cries, almost daily, over reading/school. Drop-offs have become so hard and there have been a few nights she has kept herself away with all of the "what-ifs". She's began having to check all of her schoolwork a few times each morning to be sure she has everything done and that is all in her backpack because she is so afraid of getting in trouble. Her teacher even said that she will check multiple times a day to see if her name is on the board (kids missing work) and the teacher can see the relief when she tells her she is all caught up. I'm at the point of not knowing what to do. She is seeing a counselor at school and we have an appointment with a clinical therapist in about a week. I'm considering homeschooling her for reading and then taking her to school for the rest of the day. I don't want to just give in to the anxiety but I know alot of this is stemming from the difficulty in it and she also isn't getting any accommodations. The teacher said she doesn't' feel that she needs it, but her behavior lately is saying otherwise. I'm hoping the counselor will have more insight. The therapist at school just says we need to practice "tough love". I think they just see the rough drops because my daugther doesn't like for people to see her upset so she pushes through for the day and then has a meltdown once she is home. If it was only drop offs that were the problem, "tough love" would be a heck of a lot easier. Gosh, I'm sorry, I feel like I rambled through this. It's so hard to even get my thoughts straight right now, because, I too, have anxiety and I feel like 75% of my thoughts are focused on how to help my kiddo through this. 🙂 If you've made it this far, thank you... I truly appreciate it.
  2. Taking a deep breath may actually cause blood vessels to contract, making less oxygen available to brain—exactly the opposite of what we may need when emotionally or physically stressed. This is in a way a spinoff from another thread — but could relate to multiple issues we often discuss, from sinusitis, to anxiety, asthma, and currently divisiveness in threads (not to mention the world). And also could relate to lung function of importance for current pandemic. @gardenmom5 @Terabith and others who may be interested plus I hope to post a link to the long Covid thread. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/biofeedback-and-mindfulness-in-everyday-life/201912/do-not-take-deep-breath Even if not reading the books below, consider glancing at customer comments and excerpts Anxiety Free: Stop Worrying and Quieten Your Mind - Featuring the Buteyko Breathing Method and Mindfulness https://www.amazon.com/dp/0954599640/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_07q3Eb4GZ41XG The Oxygen Advantage: Simple, Scientifically Proven Breathing Techniques to Help You Become Healthier, Slimmer, Faster, and Fitter https://www.amazon.com/dp/0062349473/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_Ijr3EbZWXQP2V Close Your Mouth: Buteyko Clinic Handbook for Perfect Health https://www.amazon.com/dp/0954599616/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_Ahr3Eb5JT4KPT ABC to be Asthma Free. Buteyko Clinic self help book for children https://www.amazon.com/dp/0954599624/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_kar3EbY1FD120 ...
  3. Hello. I'm a fellow homeschooling mom of two boys. Two years ago my youngest son, Noah, was diagnosed with PANDAS/PANS. It has been very difficult for our family, as we have had to travel out-of-state for doctors and treatment, because despite having a vast medical community in our backyard, there is a gross lack of knowledge and acceptance of this diagnosis. As a result, we've been very fervent in our attempts to raise awareness. This coming Sunday, October 9th, is PANDAS/PANS Awareness Day, and I'm asking for your help in spreading the word. I've created a website, thepandasproject.com, as well as a Facebook page (The PANDAS Project). It has information about PANDAS/PANS, personal stories, and resources that can be shared. If you have any questions, feel free to message me, or email me at thepandasproject@gmail.com. Thank you 😊
  4. Hello, well, I had posted a few times about my son who has been struggling with his grief over losing his father suddenly to a heart attack two and a half years ago. He has been seeing a wonderful therapist who recently recommended that I take him to see a psychiatrist for an evaluation for possible anti-anxiety medication. So..I would like for him to finish his ninth grade with a good feeling of accomplishment but he is struggling with his two online classes. He has done very little reading for the Great Books class and is falling way behind on the vocabulary and grammar drills for the Latin class. So I think I will let him drop them. They are very challenging academically and fast paced. I am afraid that they have been overwhelming him and increasing his anxiety level. However, I don't want him to feel like he was not capable of doing them if I were to let him drop them and also what should he do for the rest of the year? He is at the point where he doesn't feel like reading very much nor writing. The only thing he seems to be enthusiastic about doing is the Daily Grams (a grammar workbook) and maybe reading the Lord of the Rings. How would that look on his transcript though? If he were to drop the two online classes, I would make it clear to him that they were for medical reasons, and that he still would get credit for ninth grade English as long as he completed the grammar workbook and read a few books and did book reports. That way, he would not blame himself for not being able to keep up with the classes. Is that sufficient for a decent 9th grade course? It's difficult for me as a teacher because it's not as if he is severely depressed to the point where he can't get out of the house or something and he is doing well with his two outside classes at an university model school so I don't want to start a precedent of having him give up on a class if it's a bit too much work but at the same time I an concerned about getting him to heal. It's a tough judgement call for me. I am just feeling that even if he were to get on anti anxiety medications or any other medications soon, he is running out of time to do make up work for the two online classes and also I am feeling that he is at the point where he is so anxious about them that the classes are ruined for him, kwim? So I guess I just really wish that we could take one or two months off right now and then pick up the classes again and maybe just finish them late into the summer but that's just the nature of the online classes and also of any brick and mortar classes that he will have to take eventually in the future. Ugh.
  5. Hey all, We are in the process of having my dd tested for ADD, sensory processing disorder, and anxiety. I'm pretty sure ADD is an issue (I and 2 of my family members grew up with it and still have issues today, so I know a thing or two about what it looks like) but need to figure out the other things that are at play. Anyway, my 7yo dd is lagging behind in math. Her attention span only lasts about 5 minutes so getting through a concept can be a bit of a challenge. Another big issue that is contributing to her success is a highly perfectionist personality. She has a complete meltdown and flat out refuses to even try something new. She wants assurance that she is 100% capable of getting it all right on the first try or she won't even look at the game/worksheet/etc. I don't want to push it and cause further anxiety but wonder if anyone out there has been through a similar situation and what you were able to do. Any fun, fast paced games that aren't highly stressful/competitive to help her increase confidence? Thanks
  6. Jumping Spider (ds 8) started cello lessons about a year and a half ago. He is very musical by nature, likes to play the cello, and has made good progress overall. But we have struggled all along with one major issue: he won't play at his lessons! Almost every week his lessons have gone something like this: teacher: Hi Jumping Spider, lets hear how your practice went this week. Why don't you play (...song) for me? Jumping Spider: (sits with a scowl on his face and doesn't play) teacher cajoles, directs, encourages, etc. for 20 minutes. Jumping Spider continues to scowl. Finally the last few minutes of a lesson he starts playing, and once he starts everything is fine--his mood changes and he is cheerful and the music is beautiful. Teacher and I are both flummoxed by this. Jumping Spider has no trouble practicing at home--oh, he sometimes complains, but mostly he practices cheerfully and energetically. And he remembers instructions from his teacher and tries to follow them. Thing is, if you look past the scowl when he is sitting at his lesson and not playing, you can tell he is holding back tears. Teacher and I think this is an anxiety issue, he feels under pressure at lessons (no matter how lighthearted and fun teacher tries to make them) and is afraid of making mistakes etc. This is actually our second teacher, I switched not because I thought the first wasn't doing a good job but simply in the hope that Jumping Spider might connect better with someone else. But the some problem is cropping up. Does this look familiar to anyone? Have you dealt with lesson anxiety yourself or in a child? We're spending a lot of money and time on lessons, and he would get so much more out of them if he would just play music right from the start!
  7. I'm hoping I can get some advice from those of you parenting children with anxiety. My dd is 6 and is on the spectrum and struggles with high anxiety. I'm constantly at a loss at how much I should push her to try new things, especially socially. We have one year of official homeschooling under our belt and it was good academically but pretty isolating and I worry that she's not getting enough social practice. She is in a social skills group, OT, and a weekly club at our church but I struggle knowing if this is enough. I've tried activities like park days but my dd just keeps to herself, walking around and telling stories. I also tried some classes through the homeschool resource center in our school district but it created so much anxiety for her that we quit after a month. We chose to homeschool largely in part because her anxiety and sensory challenges make a classroom environment pretty unbearable. But I constantly worry about whether the limited social involvement is doing more harm than good in the long run. For those of you with children that struggle with anxiety, how much do you push? Grateful in advance for any feedback or advice. Edie DD 4/07 DD 7/09 DD 2/13
  8. Has anyone here had to help a sibling cope with the intense needs/behavior of another sibling? I am in profound need of advice, so please help if you have any ideas! DS has always been very wiggly/difficult to manage, but I always figured a tincture of time/maturity was all we needed. However he just hit 7 years, and things have been getting worse, not better. We now have some vague physical aggression starting (waving objects right in your face, grabbing your body, etc, but no outright hitting/kicking yet) in addition to the uqbiquitous yelling when frustrated and general impulsivity, and I think it's time to take him in for evaluation. I think the most likely diagnosis is ADHD/gifted. We have an appointment with a developmental pediatrician, but not until August, and an appointment with a psychiatrist that specializes in ADHD next month. We even have an appointment with the educational psychologist at the elementary school coming up, as we have toyed with the idea of putting him in the Behavioral Management Center there. The more I reflect on it though, the less I think the public school route could help him, though. Most likely, continuing with homeschool (as we have all along) will be best for him academically, emotionally, and socially. HOWEVER, it is not just DS that I have to worry about. DD is approaching 5 and has only recently (with the help of a psychologist) become fully potty trained. It turns out that the potty training difficulties were just a symptom of general anxiety she is feeling, and the two things the psychologist recommended to help were more one-on-one parent/DD time (which is part of why we toyed with the idea of public school for DS), and more space from DS. His impulsive behavior, and the tension it frequently yields in the home, although DH and I do our best to keep things calm, is stressing her out. I have thought of several ideas to help DD, but am not sure which route to pursue. She is introverted, sensitive (obviously), and keeps things that bother her bottled up inside. So far I have mostly just had the philosophy that she can tag along with what DS is doing, but now I think she could really use more age-appropriate activities (singing songs, painting, learning the alphabet & days of the week, playing in the sand, etc) and social experiences. It's true that there are plenty of events for preschoolers/homeschoolers in my area, but when DS comes along (as he has to), I end up mostly focused on managing his behavior. She comes to DS's homeschool co-op and park days, but most of the kids there are a little older, and she becomes so much more animated when she is with girls her age. Of her two closest friends, one is in Kindergarten and the other lives 45 minutes away, so it's hard to arrange playdates. She did enjoy her ballet class (which was recently canceled, but we're looking for something to take it's place), but I feel like she would benefit from something more frequent than once a week. Here are some other ideas I'm considering: Wait until next fall and let her go to Kindergarten to get a little space from DS, even though I would really love to homeschool her Look for some kind of MDO/preschool I could enroll her in right away (although it's doubtful I'll find anything as most places around here are already starting waiting lists for next fall) Commit to doing a more structured (because structure will make me more likely to keep it up) Kindergarten program here at home with her next year (I used Joy School with DS, but the Wee Folk Art curriculum with lots of crafts, stories, field trips, etc appeals to me, too), either just her and me or with a group of other Pre-K/K kids, and let DS play the iPad (or whatever else will keep him busy) during that time so I can focus on DD If anyone has any other ideas, I would love to hear them! I'm just feeling like I'm between a rock and a hard place right now, like I can't really give both DS and DD what they need. :crying: TIA!
  9. When it rains, it pours. My Mom is depressed, my CFS is acting up big time, and my dd just got a diagnosis of Anxiety, ADD, and being Autism Spectrum. We have prescriptions for two new pills for her, OT and speech therapy (even though the child TALKS just fine, they think it will help her express herself better). Out has gone the diagnosis of ODD. Mama wants a giant Mojito after this no good, very bad day. Too bad I'm a teetotaler. And broke. LOL! So the advice I need is about the Autism Spectrum stuff. I've half paid attention over the past decade to all Spectrum talk, mostly so I could help emotionally support people who are dealing with it. I can vaguely remember that there has been talk of Autism Spectrum being different in girls than boys. I need to know how to adapt to meet her needs, and what the heck to do about home schooling. Are there different needs for Spectrum kids in regards to homeschooling? Books? Websites? Chain Letters?
  10. My therapist gave me an assignment about a month ago. I needed to come up with a list of things to do when I feel my anxiety working its way towards a full blown panic attack AND a way to distract myself from depressing thoughts that might start to take over my brain. After much hemming and hawing I finally got the list made. I'd love input. Let me know if you can think of anything to add to the list, even if it's stuff you're not sure of. My friend Jen might suggest looking at a panda zoo cam, or Jaime might suggest listening to music. Lori's going to suggest HOBOJITO TIME (it's like MOJITO TIME, only for us poor folk). I'm also posting this on a homeschooling board and expect a metric ton of suggestions from them (such as looking for pictures of men in kilts). So here is my list so far. It's not too sexy - I walked around the house and looked at rooms for things I could do. Filing Sewing Wii Exercise Watch TV Walk dog Clean Cook Bake Run errands Eat (not functional, but it is true) Watch DVDs Listen to music on tv channels/radio/internet/Genius Read on Nook/Book/Magazine Knit Tackle long-term projects on desk (eek!) Play with Annabelle Nap Research something Play on computer Play on Internet Church "Stuff" (read a random talk, research a subject, etc) Look for cute animal webcams (ferrets, pandas, etc) HOBOJITO TIME Take a fancy bath Call a friend to chat
  11. I'm a bit at a loss over how to proceed with my 8 year old and math instruction. This is my high-anxiety/perfectionist child, and math has been a difficult subject--not because she struggles with the concepts, she actually grasps them very well--but because there are RIGHT and WRONG answers and she just cannot face possibly getting something wrong. Up until this year we did math in a mostly informal manner, lots of games and concept exploration, tons of manipulatives and real-life applications. She understands addition, subtraction, place value, multiplication, fractions, and more. We still need work on memorizing facts, I prefer to make sure they understand concepts before we start to memorize. Anyway, this year I felt like it was time to have her actually sit down and work through a book. It has not gone well. We tried both Singapore and Horizons, she eventually told me she wanted something that she could work through on her own (she gets more stressed about getting things right if I am there teaching something). I decided to try CLE, which seems like the kind of program that would work for her--but she's still having panic attacks and ending up in tears, which is NOT how I want her to experience math. I could go back to the way we did things before, but at this point I feel like she needs more consistent instruction and practice, and I don't think I'm up to doing that without following a program. I've had some success with Rosetta Stone Spanish (similar stress/panic over mistakes) by paying her a penny for each incorrect answer--but that doesn't quite seem like the best approach to take with math. So, any thoughts? Anyone with a similar child? TIA, Sarah
  12. Please guide me before I go nuts with this kid. He never seems to be happy with any friend or any outing. Yesterday we went to a pool party....he complained while there, and afterwards to me about how unhappy he was with the behavior of 3 different friends. Today I let him have a 4th friend over for a very short time... 2 1/2 hours....and while the friend was here ds complained loudly and dramatically about the friend's big wrong of opening his eyes before he was suppose to when counting in hide n seek. It is always something. Even the things that are 'something' that might need to be addressed---ds can't let go of. I am sick of the complaining. I talk and talk about how to get along with others, put up with others like they put up with you, let things go, be more positive, focus on the positive and let the negative go like water off a duck's back....it just doesn't seem to be working! I just now told him that he will not have any more friends over or go over to any other friend's. He asked for how long. I told him until I determine that he has learned to get along with others! Until he is mature enough to do so. He of course burst into tears because everything is drama, drama, drama and poor little ds all of the time! I am so frustrated. I just don't know what to do! I would think that he needs some exposure to kids with me guiding him on how to get along with others....but it isn't working! Help!
  13. Does anyone know of any natural remedies for anxiety disorder? I have been struggling with it for a while now and since I'm nursing I don't want to take anything that could harm my baby. I worry constantly about everything! Big time germaphobe!!! I was somewhat like this before my son was born, but it seems like it has exploded since he has been born! My other 2 kids have noticed it as well. They haven't complained about it or anything, but they have noticed a change. They are 13 and 10, my youngest is 6 months. Any help is GREATLY appreciated!!! :)
  14. I just read about a book titled Hope and Help for Your Nerves by Claire Weekes. It looks like an interesting read, and maybe very helpful. Just thought I'd share it with y'all. Here's an Amazon link.
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