7 yo son says he doesn't want to do any sports or lessons

[SKL]

Maybe you could find something that your 5yo and 7yo could do together.

 

Another thought is to get some yoga videos and do it at home with your kids.  Hopefully you could find some at the library so the cost would not be unreasonable.  I have done this with my kids and it's good for all of us.

[HS Mom in NC]

Did you really mean bullying? Bullying is never about excess energy.  There are millions of kids in the world with excess energy who aren't bullying anyone. I think if there's some actual bullying going on, it needs to be addressed directly and enrichment activities can't address it directly.

I would pick 2 or 3 structured activities that are the lowest cost and that require a shorter time commitment (not music lessons) and let him choose between the them. I'd explain that if he didn't choose one I would choose for him. Then I'd give it a go and see if it he takes to it or not.  If it's a disaster then you're out minimal time and money and you'll have a better sense what's going on with him.

I had an infant/toddler/preschooler at all kinds of activities for my older kids.  Piano, guitar, violin, gymnastics, and swimming.  Usually there were other wee ones there to play with.  If not, I always had things with me to do with the youngest.
 

[Pen]

Give him a choice of activities--definitely at least 2 choices that are PE, physically active ones, that can be done daily as per his physical abilities. this can be, but need not be an outside sport or lesson. Require that he choose,  and do one PE type activity minimum every day. It could also be a variety of different different days or more than once per day, such as jump rope for 10 minutes twice per day, run around block once per day, shoot baskets or climb tree when weather and circumstances permit, play soccer twice per week when circumstances permit. It does not need to be the same thing every day or every season, but every day does need physical exercise. They say a tired dog is a good dog--same thing, IMHO applies to boys a lot of the time so long as not over tired and into overtired crankiness or other problems, but enough to get energy out and be calmer helps a lot.

 

Possibly also give him a choice of 2 outside activities that may or may not be sport/PE related if you feel he needs people to interact with in an outside activity.

[Amy in NH]

I can see both sides of it -- pushing vs not pushing. I do agree that a 7 year old cannot possibly know everything that's good for him or whether he'll like something that he hasn't tried.

 

Part of what is hard is having a toddler to drag to and fro, honestly. Well that and my 5 year old too. I guess just that I have all 3 small children under my care, and doing some class, practice or lesson for one will often mean having the other 2 there possibly doing nothing but waiting for it to be over (not fun for any of us except the one in the activity). DH spends about half the year working late nights and weekend overtime so I'm a solo parent during those times for the most part.

Meh. It's a short season, and not really fair to older kids to not meet their needs because they have younger siblings they didn't have a say in. Take the younger kids to the park, library,or McDonald's playplace, or drag them grocery shopping while older brother is at practice/class.

[Soror]

I can see both sides of it -- pushing vs not pushing. I do agree that a 7 year old cannot possibly know everything that's good for him or whether he'll like something that he hasn't tried. 

 

Part of what is hard is having a toddler to drag to and fro, honestly. Well that and my 5 year old too. I guess just that I have all 3 small children under my care, and doing some class, practice or lesson for one will often mean having the other 2 there possibly doing nothing but waiting for it to be over (not fun for any of us except the one in the activity). DH spends about half the year working late nights and weekend overtime so I'm a solo parent during those times for the most part.

. I don't see it bad at all to hold a 7yo from classes that he doesn't want to do anyway because it is hard to work out, there are plenty of time for such things, and the need is physical activity, which can be met in a variety of ways- with the whole family together. I find the idea that kids have to be pushed into stuff at that age rather sad. Some kids are shy. I never did like any of the sports my parents pushed me to do, I was never happy that they had me do it, not the entire time, not for one minute. I hated every second. I hated being pushed into the social stuff, one of the big perks to homeschooling to me is that my kids can have the social life that works for them, whether it is really out there and into everything, or low key to themselves. Some people thrive with a couple of friends and some with tons, some just wilt having to be social and some blossom. Considering the logistics I'd make it a priority to find some family activities to do, being active is not optional but there are plenty of years for a 7yr to find his social niche.

 

FWIW my kids are more the social butterflies- and our schedule is as full as any of them want right now with dance, acrobatics, robotics, Scouts, AHG, homeschool group and 4H- as of right now I'm holding my 3yo back from dance, even though she is begging b/c I'm not ready to add her on to the schedule just yet.

Edited January 12, 2016 by soror

[katilac]

All of the kids need exercise, so I'd lean toward stuff at home and different parks, maybe the easiest park one day a week and a rotating park on another day or two. It's just as easy or easier to get to a park several times a week for all of the kids to play than to get one kid to practice and games, and it sounds like everyone could use a change of scenery. 

 

If you are worried about compliance and follow through, have set dates and times, just as if it were scheduled practice. Get into a routine. Keep a bag with jump ropes, balls, and picnic blanket packed - I used to just leave mine in the car. 

 

Let other people know you are going, and it might serve double-duty of socializing as well (post on your Facebook, on group Facebook pages, in the library, at the bookstore). 

 

At that age, we did lots of memory work and drill work outside. Math facts are more fun when you call it Action Math and let the kids run around to give their answer (4+3, run to the slide if the answer is even, run to the swing if it's odd). You get some practice in and ALL of the kids can do it, just give them different questions, and tell the toddler, it's your turn, run to the swing! Of course it also doesn't matter if the toddler just runs around like a lunatic, but he can be included if he wants. 

 

If  money is really tight, I'd be extra reluctant to force him into something organized. You are going to get frustrated if you spend money and then he doesn't like it or doesn't fully participate, plus you have another one coming right behind him that you would need to find something for.

 

I wouldn't write off organized activities, but it's not what I would start with. The most important things are getting out of the house and being active.

 

[madteaparty]

He needs to exercise. That is separate from organized sports. My kid was not interested (as in, he never asked for anything ever) until last year, when he fell in love w skiing. After a few months in France he is also into soccer. He is 11.

That said, I signed him up for stuff before and he got his sports in (tennis etc) because as I said, he needs exercise.

[Zinnia]

I can see both sides of it -- pushing vs not pushing. I do agree that a 7 year old cannot possibly know everything that's good for him or whether he'll like something that he hasn't tried. 

 

Part of what is hard is having a toddler to drag to and fro, honestly. Well that and my 5 year old too. I guess just that I have all 3 small children under my care, and doing some class, practice or lesson for one will often mean having the other 2 there possibly doing nothing but waiting for it to be over (not fun for any of us except the one in the activity). DH spends about half the year working late nights and weekend overtime so I'm a solo parent during those times for the most part. 

 

I have 4 kids, and my older pair is now 7 and 9.  They do a couple of things together (choir, some sports), and it's been great for giving me time to concentrate on my 3 and 5 year olds.  I thought that it would be hassle,b ut everyone (me included) likes that time. 

 

[catz]

As far as the lower income, I'd consider scouts and 4H. They are a dream for families on tight budgets.

 

Have you explained to him about how some people have lots of energy for life which is great. However, sometimes, they get energetic and they don't know what to do with it, so sometimes it comes out in doing not so nice stuff like pestering others and being naughty. You as a mom can see that he has lots of energy and you want to give him positive ways to use it so he won't be tempted to use all that energy in a bad way. It's not nice to bother or hurt people when you're feeling energetic, and you want him to be a nice boy, with healthy outlets for it.

 

:iagree: I do agree with posts that say you can totally do this on your own.  But then I'd commit to get this kid out and running around an hour a day every day and making sure he is getting positive attention daily from you.  These are good things to think about even if you decide now is not the time to start anything formal.  It can be hard as a 7 year old oldest boy of 3 littles if he doesn't have some positive, age appropriate outlets.  My son needed to burn off a TON of steam at that age or he would invent things to do.  I don't think he was ever intentionally malicious.  My kids are almost 4 years apart and I had a season of my life where I was dragging my infant/toddler/preschooler around for the older kid's playdates and activities.  I got good at keep stuff in our vehicle.  I found stuff to do.  And in some ways, it forced me to be more present with both kids during that time.  My little often met other littles on our journeys.  It ended up being fun and we all started looking forward to that time. 

 

So a 7 year old who says he doesn't want to do something might be saying it in the same way a 7 year old might not want to eat salad with dinner.  It's still good to try and see.  He might be craving peer interactions too.  If he only has one "friend", maybe it's time to start an informal park day with other young homeschooling families.  Sometimes as a homeschooler you have to create your own opportunities.  I agree 4-H and scouts can be great low budget outlets.  If you have a church, they might be willing to let you use meeting space during the week for an informal homeschool meetup.  We've used a combination of activities and free form stuff over the years and have focused on family hikes and bike rides and exploring our parks on days.  My kids have learned a bunch over the years being in activities and my kids are not into competitive sports at all.  And not necessarily JUST a skill like dance but how to work with a group, how to be a team, how to get out the door on time, how to work with a mentor or teacher, etc.