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How can I change this behavior in myself?


lewber
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So, the resolution I'd like to have is to stop wasting so much time. I have such a hard time getting motivated until it's the last minute and there's no choice. It's like that's the only time I have the adrenaline/ get go to get it done.

Like now, I need new glasses but I just don't make the appointment. It's not a matter of time or money, just effort. I just put it off. At work, I only get to things when they can't wait any longer, when the client or co-worker absolutely have to have it. My house is only really clean when people are coming over. Even fun things- right now I know I would be happy if I got a pedicure. But not enough to actually go do it. Instead I just waste time until I have to actually be somewhere.

I feel like I just waste time- a lot on the Internet right now. What can I do to change this part of my personality? I want to be a person of action:) ha!

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I recently read a book about habits, Better Than Before by Gretchen Rubin. I found it very interesting and it included some personality things that I found eye opening.

 

I need to reread it but my first reading made me think that I need to work *with* my natural tendencies without judging myself.

 

If these feelings of not wanting to do anything are new I'd be concerned about anxiety etc.

 

(Hugs)

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I have the same tendency, and it's worse with the things that bore me or I'm not really excited about. (I need to go to the dentist... but... yeah). I have realized that I feel overwhelmed by my life... too many things are pulling me in too many directions (and none of the directions are that compelling!).

 

I'm a minimalist at heart, as so I am trying to get rid of everything in my life that is non-essential. Sure, it means I'm purging my house, but I'm also getting rid of everything in my life that isn't working -- volunteer commitments, toxic people, my email folders. I just need LESS. I'm trying to reduce my electronics usage -- computer and phone usage only for X period of time in a day. I'm getting rid of my internet-enabled phone and just going text and talk, so I am not staring at screens as much. I don't know if it will all work, but it seems like I need to make some changes...

 

In any case, this might not be your precise challenge, but it does seem to be helping me focus a bit more. 

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So, the resolution I'd like to have is to stop wasting so much time. I have such a hard time getting motivated until it's the last minute and there's no choice. It's like that's the only time I have the adrenaline/ get go to get it done.

Like now, I need new glasses but I just don't make the appointment. It's not a matter of time or money, just effort. I just put it off. At work, I only get to things when they can't wait any longer, when the client or co-worker absolutely have to have it. My house is only really clean when people are coming over. Even fun things- right now I know I would be happy if I got a pedicure. But not enough to actually go do it. Instead I just waste time until I have to actually be somewhere.

I feel like I just waste time- a lot on the Internet right now. What can I do to change this part of my personality? I want to be a person of action:) ha!

 

you sound exactly like me... I'll be listening in to see what kind of advice you get.

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This free app has helped me: http://3030.binaryhammer.com

 

Thanks. I downloaded this and it looks interesting. Haven't figured out how to use it yet though  :huh:

I recently read a book about habits, Better Than Before by Gretchen Rubin. I found it very interesting and it included some personality things that I found eye opening.

 

I need to reread it but my first reading made me think that I need to work *with* my natural tendencies without judging myself.

 

If these feelings of not wanting to do anything are new I'd be concerned about anxiety etc.

 

(Hugs)

I downloaded this and am reading it now. Hoping to get some insights. 

 

I have the same tendency, and it's worse with the things that bore me or I'm not really excited about. (I need to go to the dentist... but... yeah). I have realized that I feel overwhelmed by my life... too many things are pulling me in too many directions (and none of the directions are that compelling!).

 

I'm a minimalist at heart, as so I am trying to get rid of everything in my life that is non-essential. Sure, it means I'm purging my house, but I'm also getting rid of everything in my life that isn't working -- volunteer commitments, toxic people, my email folders. I just need LESS. I'm trying to reduce my electronics usage -- computer and phone usage only for X period of time in a day. I'm getting rid of my internet-enabled phone and just going text and talk, so I am not staring at screens as much. I don't know if it will all work, but it seems like I need to make some changes...

 

In any case, this might not be your precise challenge, but it does seem to be helping me focus a bit more. 

Yes, things that bore me are the worst to get done, but mine is more like a fear - putting off going to the dentist because I have a cavity, ignoring the work project because I don't know what to do about it to solve the issue. I need to make myself do hard things! 

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I have the same issues, so I'll give you the tidbits that help me.  They don't cure me, but they help:

 

I break it down into tiny parts and then write it on to-do lists that span a week.

 

Monday: find the dentist's phone number

Tuesday: call dentist

 

If I have to find the number and make the call on the same day it's like it's just too much.  I break down all my dreaded tasks like that.  Just a teeny tiny bit at a time.  I like to have a 5 day to-do list (on 5 different papers) with tiny bits to do on each day.  Then, I can get it out of my head.  Each day I simply do the tiny steps until the task is completed.

 

Like someone else said, I've recently stopped saying yes to anything.  I've purged my commitments.  Everything is a big fat no.  Everything.  I have no volunteer activities, I don't say yes to hanging out with friends very often, I don't do church stuff other than attending the service.  The more overwhelmed I get with commitments, the worse I am with everything. It's was moving along very well, but the last couple of weeks of December derailed it. I'm looking forward to having no commitments again this month.

 

Right now, with the influx of Christmas stuff, the house is extra messy because the new stuff doesn't have homes.  I just can't clean if there aren't homes for things.  I think decluttering some things will help make way for the new.  I can't seem to get any motivation to clean when I have to stand there holding an item and not know where to put it.  It all ends up in piles making my tiny house feel overwhelmed with stuff.  So...declutter.

 

Tiny tasks on a to-do list.

Get out of all commitments

Declutter stuff.

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I'm bad about this, too. I don't mind most tasks once I'm doing them, but I have a very hard time getting started. I'm overdue for the dentist (so are the kids), I'm overdue for the eye doctor, and I was supposed to have bloodwork done back in April that I never went in for. Right now I should be clearing off the table because lunch is almost ready, but instead I'll be here online until the timer goes off then I'll have to hurry and clear the table as the kids are running in having heard it's done. :/

 

I think for me, I get overwhelmed with how much I need to do, so instead of failing to get it all done, I do none of it.

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I have the same issues, so I'll give you the tidbits that help me.  They don't cure me, but they help:

 

I break it down into tiny parts and then write it on to-do lists that span a week.

 

Monday: find the dentist's phone number

Tuesday: call dentist

 

If I have to find the number and make the call on the same day it's like it's just too much.  I break down all my dreaded tasks like that.  Just a teeny tiny bit at a time.  I like to have a 5 day to-do list (on 5 different papers) with tiny bits to do on each day.  Then, I can get it out of my head.  Each day I simply do the tiny steps until the task is completed.

 

Like someone else said, I've recently stopped saying yes to anything.  I've purged my commitments.  Everything is a big fat no.  Everything.  I have no volunteer activities, I don't say yes to hanging out with friends very often, I don't do church stuff other than attending the service.  The more overwhelmed I get with commitments, the worse I am with everything. It's was moving along very well, but the last couple of weeks of December derailed it. I'm looking forward to having no commitments again this month.

 

Right now, with the influx of Christmas stuff, the house is extra messy because the new stuff doesn't have homes.  I just can't clean if there aren't homes for things.  I think decluttering some things will help make way for the new.  I can't seem to get any motivation to clean when I have to stand there holding an item and not know where to put it.  It all ends up in piles making my tiny house feel overwhelmed with stuff.  So...declutter.

 

Tiny tasks on a to-do list.

Get out of all commitments

Declutter stuff.

The little lists is a good idea. I can see that working for me. Unfortunately a lot of the dreaded commitments are for work. I am making a real effort on moving the dreaded tasks, but unfortunately I am in a position of inherited responsiblity right now and some of them I just have to be the one to do. I'd like to quit my job altogether, but that's another post!  :confused1:

 

I'm bad about this, too. I don't mind most tasks once I'm doing them, but I have a very hard time getting started. I'm overdue for the dentist (so are the kids), I'm overdue for the eye doctor, and I was supposed to have bloodwork done back in April that I never went in for. Right now I should be clearing off the table because lunch is almost ready, but instead I'll be here online until the timer goes off then I'll have to hurry and clear the table as the kids are running in having heard it's done. :/

 

I think for me, I get overwhelmed with how much I need to do, so instead of failing to get it all done, I do none of it.

 Yes, this - The timer, the deadline, when you just can't put it off any longer is when it finally gets done. 

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Thanks. I downloaded this and it looks interesting. Haven't figured out how to use it yet though  :huh:

 

I found it to be kind of confusing and non-intuitive at first, but I really like it now. I recommend going into settings and reading all 12 (short) pages of their help file before trying to use the app.

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Do you make lists?  I live by a list (I mean, I don't adhere to it slavishly...if someone gets the flu or an old friend from out of town calls, I can ditch the list!).  It really helps.  I put everything on it, too....like tomorrow I'm ironing...calling the dr's office...knitting a few rows on a project....taking out the recycling.  keeps me focused.  I have noticed that if I don't know exactly WHAT to do with my time, or have directives that I can see, I'm more likely to sort of wander around the house aimlessly/procrastinate!  

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