SparklyUnicorn Posted December 8, 2015 Share Posted December 8, 2015 I think I'm afraid of the unknown. And being vulnerable. And coming out with more questions than answers. I totally totally get that. The right person won't make you feel afraid. If you feel afraid after the first visit, find someone else. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris in VA Posted December 8, 2015 Share Posted December 8, 2015 I just want to pop in to say give the new counselor a bit of time. Although I agree you shouldn't feel afraid, exactly, I do think it can be scary to hear some truths, and counseling may make you want to run away, if you are anything like me! It takes courage and humility, and a willingness to really listen to another's perspective, when you undergo counseling and hear things you don't want to hear. You can rest assured, though, that a good counselor will help you and is only telling you the truth because they do care that you become healthy. There may be old patterns to change, or there may be such a new perspective offered that you think it can't possibly be correct, simply because it's never occurred to you before. Take heart--I know of many, many good outcomes for those in counseling. It can be invaluable, truly. I do think your dd will benefit, and her health will benefit the whole family. Best wishes as you navigate these new waters. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lanny Posted December 8, 2015 Share Posted December 8, 2015 Hello SKL: First, I suggest that you meet, in person, with the Counselor in the school your DD attends, to get her/his suggestions about what you should/can do to try to help your DD. Then, I would do the same, with your Pediatrician. The best thing for you would be if both of them suggest the same Child Psychologist/Psychiatrist. That she has suicidal thoughts is extremely troubling and should be taken very seriously. GL to your DD! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poppy Posted December 8, 2015 Share Posted December 8, 2015 (edited) My 7 year old said scary stuff like that - heartbreaking to hear a young child say she wishes she was dead. We got a counselor and it's been very good. It has made a difference. It is out of network for us which sucks. But it's your kid. You do what you have to. My daughters doc diagnosed her with significant anxiety and a mood disorder. She is on a medication, counseling in school 2x per week, and counseling with a cbt 2x per month. The problems aren't gone but they aren't escalating anymore and she is able to identify triggers that take her to dark places. Basically she has tools to feel safe that she didn't have before. There are people who hate medication. It might not be necessary for yours . It's not something I would do without considerable thought and input from multiple sources including a child psychiatrist. But it's really helped my DD. It lets her break through the fog of doubt and fear that dominated her life. It helps her be functional enough to try the cbt techniques. Anyway just wanted to share my BTDT and also share that things get better with proper help. Good luck. Edited December 8, 2015 by poppy 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Haiku Posted December 8, 2015 Share Posted December 8, 2015 Your daughter needs post-adoption counseling. I can't say it any more plainly. :grouphug: 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
idnib Posted December 8, 2015 Share Posted December 8, 2015 Yes, I would be finding a counselor right away. Problems like this can escalate and are more difficult when the child is old enough to be more independent, and can become an even more serious problem once a child becomes a legal adult and there's nothing you can do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
foxbridgeacademy Posted December 8, 2015 Share Posted December 8, 2015 A friend of mine's DD had some of the symptoms you mentioned in OP, she went to Psychiatrist an was diagnosed with anxiety and mild OCD. They put her on a low dose of meds and the DD has done great ever since. No more incessant worry about death, no more being rude to that 1 person, and a lot less whining. She's still herself but without the fear and fretting. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ondreeuh Posted December 9, 2015 Share Posted December 9, 2015 All 3 of my kids have been in counseling at one time or another. Sometimes kids will take advice from a non-parent more seriously, or be more willing to listen to other perspectives. I've never experienced having a counselor paint me as the one with the problem. In fact, one counselor was hugely helpful in validating my efforts and supporting everything I was doing. If anyone seriously questioned my parenting skills, I felt like she would be able to vouch for me. Plus, taking my kid to counseling was proof that I was working on solutions. Our counselors did not deal with meds at all - that was totally separate. In my experience, ADD/ADHD can correlate to a lot of anxiety and self-criticism. A counselor can help suss out what the root issues actually are and help work out a game plan. I do agree with others who state that you have no time to lose - getting these issues addressed now may save you a lot of future heartache. Childhood habits are very hard to break and once they are adolescents, things get much harder to work on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SparklyUnicorn Posted December 9, 2015 Share Posted December 9, 2015 I just want to pop in to say give the new counselor a bit of time. Although I agree you shouldn't feel afraid, exactly, I do think it can be scary to hear some truths, and counseling may make you want to run away, if you are anything like me! It takes courage and humility, and a willingness to really listen to another's perspective, when you undergo counseling and hear things you don't want to hear. You can rest assured, though, that a good counselor will help you and is only telling you the truth because they do care that you become healthy. There may be old patterns to change, or there may be such a new perspective offered that you think it can't possibly be correct, simply because it's never occurred to you before. Take heart--I know of many, many good outcomes for those in counseling. It can be invaluable, truly. I do think your dd will benefit, and her health will benefit the whole family. Best wishes as you navigate these new waters. Fair enough. I did have one that was so awful that I left literally feeling terrible. That's definitely not right. When I started off saying I had dealt with some issues growing up. You know what she said to me? "Let me guess what it was." Yep. She interrupted me to say that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lynn Posted December 9, 2015 Share Posted December 9, 2015 (edited) Yes go to counseling. Find one that's a good fit for your family. It can take several weeks to get an appointment but if you are already an established patient you may be able to get in quicker if something new comes up and you feel the need for a few sessions with the counselor. Edited December 9, 2015 by lynn 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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