ktgrok Posted September 10, 2015 Share Posted September 10, 2015 I'm not sure what the big deal about the object is, given that it is an object that's supposed to be used for sex (as opposed to someone's beer bottle example, which is quite different, and I've read stories about those getting stuck due to air pressure issues or w/e nonsense). I just wouldn't have thought that explicit separate consent would be needed for things other than the guy's penis... I'd assume that fingers, tongues, and normal dildos would be fair game without asking for further consent (as opposed to 'weird' things like beer bottles, carrots, entire fists, oversize dildos, etc). That said, I don't have much experience, what with my total number of sex partners ever being, er, one. However, I could also easily see that as a generational or cultural difference. ETA: when I said I'm not sure what the big deal about the object is, I meant that I'm curious to know what the big deal is. What *is* the big deal? Because, put simply, putting something, anything, inside someone without their consent is assault/rape. now, many times that consent is implied or not verbal....but in this case the woman did NOT want that toy in her, and the person using it on her knew that, which was why he made her be blindfolded. If I'm having sex with my husband and he gets out a toy, and I don't want him to use it, and he does anyway, that's assault. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Word Nerd Posted September 10, 2015 Share Posted September 10, 2015 Because, put simply, putting something, anything, inside someone without their consent is assault/rape. now, many times that consent is implied or not verbal....but in this case the woman did NOT want that toy in her, and the person using it on her knew that, which was why he made her be blindfolded. If I'm having sex with my husband and he gets out a toy, and I don't want him to use it, and he does anyway, that's assault. To me, it's not about the toy but that she didn't want to have sex with her female friend and would not have consented if she had known that's who it was. Even if there had been no toy used at all, she would have felt violated. I'm not sure how it will go in court, as she willingly wore a blindfold and went along with the requests not to look at "him," even when they first met IRL. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bluegoat Posted September 10, 2015 Share Posted September 10, 2015 I'm not sure what the big deal about the object is, given that it is an object that's supposed to be used for sex (as opposed to someone's beer bottle example, which is quite different, and I've read stories about those getting stuck due to air pressure issues or w/e nonsense). I just wouldn't have thought that explicit separate consent would be needed for things other than the guy's penis... I'd assume that fingers, tongues, and normal dildos would be fair game without asking for further consent (as opposed to 'weird' things like beer bottles, carrots, entire fists, oversize dildos, etc). That said, I don't have much experience, what with my total number of sex partners ever being, er, one. However, I could also easily see that as a generational or cultural difference. ETA: when I said I'm not sure what the big deal about the object is, I meant that I'm curious to know what the big deal is. What *is* the big deal? This is also my feeling, and I think a lot of people approach it that way. I'm pretty sure I've seen Cosmo article that recommend that sort of thing as good fun. In the case of a one night stand or really new relationship I think a lot of people would try and communicate more. But what does this fall under - they were supposedly engaged? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bluegoat Posted September 10, 2015 Share Posted September 10, 2015 I don't think it is as simple as everything that you wouldn't agree to if you knew the full circumstances, equals sexual assault. If I send a hundred dollars to someone who claims to be my brother in an internet scam, it is a kind of theft in the larger sense, but it is generally called fraud, and it is not a mugging. If I marry someone who it tuns out is already married, it is a deception, and sex happened under false pretenses, but it is bigamy, not assault. I don't think it is generally a good idea to telescope all kinds of misconduct into one catagory, even if they are related, but that seems to be something of a tendency with sexual assault or rape. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abba12 Posted September 15, 2015 Author Share Posted September 15, 2015 http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3235421/Woman-pretended-man-dupe-female-friend-sex-GUILTY-sexual-assault.html The woman was found guilty, but, honestly, this story made it even more strange It appears it was a legitimate prostetic penis, as she is referred to as 'wearing' it. I guess it may have been a strap on, but the wording seems consistent. But they dated for TWO YEARS?! She wore the blindfold while WATCHING MOVIES?! She spent 100 hours with him, and never once removed the blindfold?! She told her workmates she was ENGAGED to a guy she had NEVER SEEN WITH HER EYES! I just...... I hope this woman gets help, lots of help..... 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Word Nerd Posted September 16, 2015 Share Posted September 16, 2015 This article describes the prosthetic in more detail. That's pretty much a euphemism. Good gravy, they both need help. http://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2015/sep/15/woman-convicted-of-impersonating-man-to-dupe-friend-into-having-sex Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poppy Posted September 16, 2015 Share Posted September 16, 2015 “Every time I met up with Kye Fortune, I either had the mask on already or he would wait outside the door and I would put it on. I was so desperate to be loved. It’s pathetic, so desperate for love, so desperate.†Sad story. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ErinE Posted September 16, 2015 Share Posted September 16, 2015 “Every time I met up with Kye Fortune, I either had the mask on already or he would wait outside the door and I would put it on. I was so desperate to be loved. It’s pathetic, so desperate for love, so desperate.†Sad story. I hope she gets help. That approach to a relationship is heartbreaking. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LucyStoner Posted September 16, 2015 Share Posted September 16, 2015 This is really quite sad. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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