Tohru Posted May 5, 2015 Share Posted May 5, 2015 I have Facebook. I don't like it - it makes me feel left out, depressed, worthless, lonely...yes, my own fault for feeling that way. I only have "acquaintances" there, I don't use it to keep up with anyone, I don't post personal updates. I am much, much happier without it and I'd love to delete my account (again). The problem is, all the socialization my young children get is through my Facebook homeschool social groups' communication. They have "friends" through these groups - in a young child sort of way, no one they'd miss if they didn't see - but I don't know where or how to find other places for them to find friends they can see regularly. The other thing is, I am not new in town, but the season of my life has separated me from my own friends. All my friends have older teens or adult children now, while I'm starting over homeschooling with young ones. It's still fun to get together for coffee every now and then, but I need to find others that have young children too. It's so hard. I think I'm burnt out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maize Posted May 5, 2015 Share Posted May 5, 2015 I get most of my IRL socializing with moms I meet through my children's activities. Dance in particular, because my kids are there for several hours a week and the moms tend to hang out in the waiting area together. I feel I have made some good friends that way, even though we don't interact much outside of dance. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ottakee Posted May 5, 2015 Share Posted May 5, 2015 It can be hard when you are at a different life stage than your friends. Can you keep facebook but only have this group active? Do you use it to find out about activities to join, park days, etc? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rebel Yell Posted May 5, 2015 Share Posted May 5, 2015 I hide almost everyone on my friends list from my newsfeed. I don;t have to unfriend or block them, but I don;t have to see all of the fabulous stuff I'm missing out on. I mostly just check in for my facebook groups and a few select friends. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tohru Posted May 5, 2015 Author Share Posted May 5, 2015 Yeah, I've tried that. I just don't like using it, or the way I feel after I've been there. I figure the only solution (for me) is another venue to find social events and friends. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anne in CA Posted May 5, 2015 Share Posted May 5, 2015 Facebook can make you feel lonely, no doubt, but I would keep it to keep your kids plugged in if you need to. I also wouldn't check it except for messages and I would limit your friends to your kid's friend's parents. There are years when parenting can be lonely. I'm sorry. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
73349 Posted May 5, 2015 Share Posted May 5, 2015 How's the Meetup.com scene near you? Are there any homeschool Yahoo! groups nearby? Look beyond FB and you might find some options that work better for you. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
myfunnybunch Posted May 5, 2015 Share Posted May 5, 2015 I found friends with kids the same age as my kids by becoming deeply involved in a children's activity that they enjoyed. It took 2-3 years for me to really feel part of things and get to know people, rather than feeling like an outsider, more because I am reserved than because of others. It could be a homeschool group, but it could also be sports or dance or theater or (as in my case) a children's choir. Working together to organize things or helping with events gave me the opportunity to get to know folks even though I'm not a naturally chatty person. :) I've made some dear friends, and so have my kids. As a matter of fact, dh and I just had an unexpected date night because all three boys were invited to spend the night/weekend with different choir friends. :D 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tohru Posted May 5, 2015 Author Share Posted May 5, 2015 How's the Meetup.com scene near you? Are there any homeschool Yahoo! groups nearby? Look beyond FB and you might find some options that work better for you. Yep, Meetup and Yahoo were very popular, but then everyone moved their groups to Facebook. :( Now both are inactive sources. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sbgrace Posted May 5, 2015 Share Posted May 5, 2015 How exactly is facebook helping to connect them? Do they post about park days or similar activities? On the feed or by private message? Do they actually communicate with friends themselves? I am asking because it seems you could find a way to get what you need and ditch the rest. If one child is old enough, can he/she check for activities? Can a spouse? If it's just pm's, I think you can get email notification of those or something similar. It sounds like you really need to avoid the newsfeed parts. :grouphug: Have you thought about an anti-depressant? Treatment might make a big difference. :grouphug: 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ILiveInFlipFlops Posted May 5, 2015 Share Posted May 5, 2015 When I start feeling that way about FB, I change my shortcut to link directly to the local homeschool group's main page. That way I can click the link and go straight there, and I never have to see my feed. I hate FB too and wish I could delete my account, but I'm part of several groups that I need to stay connected to, so I can't dump it altogether. And there are no useful Meetup/Yahoo groups here either. All the important stuff happens on FB. Also, yes, you do sound a little bit depressed and burned out. Can you do anything about that? Can you start making some time to do some things for yourself and maybe meet people that way? Maybe take some time to connect with your old friends again? There's a lot to be learned from those that went before us, and sometimes they like to listen to our stories and share their wisdom as well. Or you can just pretend you don't have kids at all and find other things to talk about! That's easier said than done, though, I know :lol: :grouphug: 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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