Would you be willing to pay for this service?

[Guest]

I wouldn't use the service. If I really, really needed to talk, I'd call a crisis line. They are trained listeners, and no crisis is too small. I volunteered at a crisis line center for several years--99.99% of my job was listening.

 

However, I think it is a neat idea, but most here are not good candidates. I think this would appeal to highly paid professionals, with little personal time and who are attracted to a certain allure of this experience. I'd expect they'd want a pretty high end setting, or if there's no "setting" and you think to be meeting over coffee, high-end web site, high end advertising, high end everything. It wouldn't be a Craiglist ad, but an ad at Psychology Today, for example.

This is actually more the clientele I'm thinking of. I'm picturing meeting business professionals over coffee. Part if the benefit would be face-to-face interaction. I would expect to dress in professional attire. To any casual observer, this would appear to be two business people meeting over coffee. I would expect to have a company name that would lend itself to "blending in" with business expenses. So - not a name like "The Snuggle Buddies," which would be totally humiliating if that came up on your PayPal statement or Credit Card statement. The name would be general enough that it could pass for, say, an audio tech company. Definitely NOT marketed thru Craigslist.

 

Your question about the governing body to avoid breech of confidentiality - well, you have a decent point. I thought it would be by digital or paper contract signed by both parties before the first listening session, and applicable to any future sessions as well.

 

In some ways, it is easy to see it as a corny idea, but OTOH, it never ceases to amaze me what people will pay for. One of our renters is a Medium. (No, I don't think she's legit, even if you do believe in such things.) It amazes me that she can go on renting out a storefront in a very charming historic town - who the heck pays this woman with enough reliability that she can actually remain profitable? (Although she does stink at paying rent on time, so I'm being generous in my assumptions.) Point is - people pay for some nutty woman to tell a fortune; how much more probable is it that people will pay forty bucks for a professional-looking person to listen sympathetically to some issue they can't tell others?

 

I think it has merit.

[Guest]

Grin, I thought that is what this board and/or the internet was for. I get on here when I want people to listen to me...

Yeah, but there are limitations here, too. Some things are too nuanced to explain here. Sometimes you get a bunch of grief over what you say here (even with JAWM). There could be too much liability if IRL people find this and know you/the situation.

 

I have no trouble coming up with many scenarios where someone would want this service. Maybe you are a paster or a church group leader, but you question your faith. Maybe you've been married twenty years, but you are attracted to someone your own gender. Maybe you are worried your husband is stepping out, but telling your girlfriend will carry repercussions if you do separate - or if you do stay together. Maybe you have problems with your business partner, but there are reasons you can't confront them yet. Maybe you want to cuss or cry, but you don't want your friends to think you're foul-mouthed or weak. Maybe your town is just too small and you don't want your story spread around.

[Jean in Newcastle]

I can't imagine wanting to talk to someone if they aren't going to give me any input.  If I wanted no input, I'd just write out my thoughts in a journal.  

[UncleEJ]

Along the lines of cuddling, I was thinking that a back scratching business could be a success. Nothin' like a good back-scratch, and those back scratcher tools just don't do the trick... maybe you can talk while you scratch?

My DH would use this! He works out of town for 1-5 weeks at a time. There are times I think he misses back-scratches more than TeA. LOL!

[Guest]

I can't imagine wanting to talk to someone if they aren't going to give me any input. If I wanted no input, I'd just write out my thoughts in a journal.

I would give compassionate input. Just not advice per se. I would't sit there like wall décor. ;)

[Guest submarines]

This is actually more the clientele I'm thinking of. I'm picturing meeting business professionals over coffee. Part if the benefit would be face-to-face interaction. I would expect to dress in professional attire. To any casual observer, this would appear to be two business people meeting over coffee. I would expect to have a company name that would lend itself to "blending in" with business expenses. So - not a name like "The Snuggle Buddies," which would be totally humiliating if that came up on your PayPal statement or Credit Card statement. The name would be general enough that it could pass for, say, an audio tech company. Definitely NOT marketed thru Craigslist.

 

Your question about the governing body to avoid breech of confidentiality - well, you have a decent point. I thought it would be by digital or paper contract signed by both parties before the first listening session, and applicable to any future sessions as well.

 

In some ways, it is easy to see it as a corny idea, but OTOH, it never ceases to amaze me what people will pay for. One of our renters is a Medium. (No, I don't think she's legit, even if you do believe in such things.) It amazes me that she can go on renting out a storefront in a very charming historic town - who the heck pays this woman with enough reliability that she can actually remain profitable? (Although she does stink at paying rent on time, so I'm being generous in my assumptions.) Point is - people pay for some nutty woman to tell a fortune; how much more probable is it that people will pay forty bucks for a professional-looking person to listen sympathetically to some issue they can't tell others?

 

I think it has merit.

 

Oh, I definitely agree that it has merit. And you have good points about the business name, I didn't think of that. However, if you can pull off being a medium, that has merit too ;-).

 

I guess if I imagine myself hiring such a service, I'd need to have some exceptional trust that it is going to be confidential. You can achieve this in a lot of ways, mostly in terms of how you present yourself and your business. But what if my trust is violated? Who do I complain to? Do I sue you for damages? Would you have references? Professional background? What if you are a psycho like my neighbor's formerly reliable and lovely pet sitter who suddenly lost her marbles, killed her fish and starved her dog?

 

Could you be associated with some other service, like a spa? This could give you more credibility.

 

[Guest]

Oh, I definitely agree that it has merit. And you have good points about the business name, I didn't think of that. However, if you can pull off being a medium, that has merit too ;-).

 

I guess if I imagine myself hiring such a service, I'd need to have some exceptional trust that it is going to be confidential. You can achieve this in a lot of ways, mostly in terms of how you present yourself and your business. But what if my trust is violated? Who do I complain to? Do I sue you for damages? Would you have references? Professional background? What if you are a psycho like my neighbor's formerly reliable and lovely pet sitter who suddenly lost her marbles, killed her fish and starved her dog?

 

Could you be associated with some other service, like a spa? This could give you more credibility.

 

Now you're talkin'! There is an affiliation of spa/healing/wellness sort of stuff near me. That would be ideal, actually. There are a bunch of services -yoga, massage, aromatherapy, etc. -that share an affiliation, although I don't currently have any information on what that entails. (Is there an association fee? Do you have to have rented space in a particular plaza? Etc.)

[Jean in Newcastle]

I would give compassionate input. Just not advice per se. I would't sit there like wall décor. ;)

Oh good.  'Cause I was thinking "potted plant".   :lol:

[Guest]

Oh good. 'Cause I was thinking "potted plant". :lol:

No, no. I imagine it like,

 

"I'm just so distressed and I have no one I can talk to about this...dh has come home late four days this week. His secretary sends him texts ALL the time. They were texting this morning, at six a.m. While *we* were supposed to be having coffee and watching the news!"

 

Me: "Oh, I'm so sorry! That would bother me, too."

 

Client: "Last week he was supposed to pick FiFi up from the doggie daycare, but he didn't get home until 9:20. Guess who picked the dog up. His secretary!"

 

Me: "Yeah, that raises questions for me, too. I wouldn't like that one bit."

 

 

I would leave it to intuition to figure out just how much feedback a client requires, but not heading into advice-giving territory. Some people don't need much feedback at all. If you are looking at them, leaning towards them and grunt comprehension periodically, they are happy. Others need more active reflection like in my example. In either case, the goal would be to make the client feel heard, to reassure them that they matter.

[texasmama]

No, no. I imagine it like,

 

"I'm just so distressed and I have no one I can talk to about this...dh has come home late four days this week. His secretary sends him texts ALL the time. They were texting this morning, at six a.m. While *we* were supposed to be having coffee and watching the news!"

 

Me: "Oh, I'm so sorry! That would bother me, too."

 

Client: "Last week he was supposed to pick FiFi up from the doggie daycare, but he didn't get home until 9:20. Guess who picked the dog up. His secretary!"

 

Me: "Yeah, that raises questions for me, too. I wouldn't like that one bit."

 

 

I would leave it to intuition to figure out just how much feedback a client requires, but not heading into advice-giving territory. Some people don't need much feedback at all. If you are looking at them, leaning towards them and grunt comprehension periodically, they are happy. Others need more active reflection like in my example. In either case, the goal would be to make the client feel heard, to reassure them that they matter.

Honestly, this sounds too much like therapy without a license. At a cost not far off from seeing a licensed therapist in some cases. With no protection for clients.

 

Just my thoughts as a therapist.

[Little Nyssa]

I wouldn't use such a service, but I'd like to sign up with you as a Professional Listener. I've had lots of experience and I can provide references. I'm very good at it. In fact, I spend a lot of time as a Volunteer Listener and it would be nice to get paid for it, just for a change! How much can I charge per hour? j/k :)

[Guest submarines]

Honestly, this sounds too much like therapy without a license. At a cost not far off from seeing a licensed therapist in some cases. With no protection for clients.

 

Just my thoughts as a therapist.

 

:smilielol5: Sorry to laugh, but that's the reason I won't see a therapist (after coming very close to becoming one.) Oh, the irony! :smilielol5: :smilielol5: :smilielol5:

[texasmama]

:smilielol5: Sorry to laugh, but that's the reason I won't see a therapist (after coming very close to becoming one.) Oh, the irony! :smilielol5: :smilielol5: :smilielol5:

What is the reason you won't see a therapist? I don't understand.

[Guest]

:smilielol5: Sorry to laugh, but that's the reason I won't see a therapist (after coming very close to becoming one.) Oh, the irony! :smilielol5: :smilielol5: :smilielol5:

Do you mean because seeing a therapist is like overpriced pay-a-friend?

[Guest submarines]

What is the reason you won't see a therapist? I don't understand.

 

Because, as per your admission, a therapist is nothing more than an active listener, which I find hilarious, coming from a therapist.  Even though active listening is a very important part of being a good therapist, a therapist should be much more than that. But the reality is that most aren't even good listeners. I tried several for DD when she was having anxiety issues--glaring incompetence throughout.

[Guest submarines]

Do you mean because seeing a therapist is like overpriced pay-a-friend?

 

Because of their idea that active listening is too similar to being a licensed therapist.

 

[texasmama]

Because, as per your admission, a therapist is nothing more than an active listener, which I find hilarious, coming from a therapist. Even though active listening is a very important part of being a good therapist, a therapist should be much more than that. But the reality is that most aren't even good listeners. I tried several for DD when she was having anxiety issues--glaring incompetence throughout.

No, I didn't say that.

 

I'm sorry that you had a bad experience with therapists, but not all therapists are "glaringly incompetent". I've had mostly positive experiences with therapists for myself and my kids.

[Joules]

I think it's a brilliant idea. I really think lots of people need someone unbiased and uninvolved to listen to them. I do think (in larger towns) people are more comfortable getting this along with another service rather than admitting they need someone to listen. People chat and vent through a haircut, a massage, personal training sessions. Sometimes the benefit of these is someone to listen more than the service provided.

 

I had a private yoga instructor who spent the first 20 minutes letting me talk through the week before even attempting the relaxation/exercise part. Honestly, I often thought she could offer a service just listening and skip the yoga part.

 

I'm taking ds for PT for his hand and I'm able to sit and listen while I wait. People of all ages, but particularly older, are chatting with their PT/OT about their lives and stresses through an hour of hand massage and/or exercise. These pros must have some serious training in active listening (or it comes naturally for them.). I'm pretty sure a great deal of what keeps these people coming back twice a week is the attention. They probably wouldn't for a sterile therapy situation.

 

Heck, I imagine that lots of people go back to the medium because she listens to them (or maybe it is ghost that does the listening?). She's filling that same need that a counselor does. It's also the reason con artists get their hooks into people like the elderly. Really listening and keeping someone talking is how you learn their weaknesses. But some people are so desparate for the attention, they just shut off all the alarm bells in their head.

 

The problem is getting people to come specifically for the listening. We don't want to admit we need that just like we don't want to admit we could use a therapist. Add to that the potential liability of "almost" being a therapist, I might want to couch the service in another. I think it would avoid particular legal issues and increase the number of clients.

 

(I like the idea of life coach and I know that often involves mostly listening and restating your needs in a organized way. This also appeals to high end individuals. Whatever you choose, you'll find that your listening is what keeps them coming back.)

 

 

ETA : Holy moly, sorry for the length. I think someone has been grading and teaching "the essay" a little too much lately.

[school17777]

This topic was on the front page of one of the section of our paper last week. There is a nation wide ministry called Stephen's Ministry that provides listeners to people who need it. I thought of Quill when I saw the article.

[QueenCat]

This topic was on the front page of one of the section of our paper last week. There is a nation wide ministry called Stephen's Ministry that provides listeners to people who need it. I thought of Quill when I saw the article.

 

Stephen's Ministry is a great program. The people who volunteer for Stephen's Ministry go through intensive training. They are then set up with people who are going through "something", to be an ear for them. They try to match people up who have gone through something similar in the past.

[chiguirre]

Heck, there are people on here often (sometimes it is me) who put up a JAWM post, but how many more people wish they could, but they can't because putting it out in public is a very bad idea.

Well...if you change you avatar and eliminate your real name from your siggie, you can be much more anonymous. It's not perfect but it makes it much harder to track you down.

[lamppost]

I think this already exists. Here's one result I got from googling: http://www.7cupsoftea.com/