*anj* Posted August 30, 2008 Share Posted August 30, 2008 The No Calorie Diet Monday Breakfast: Weak tea Lunch: 1 bullion cube in half cup of diluted water Dinner: 1 pigeon thigh, 3 ounces prune juice (gargled) Tuesday Breakfast: Scraped crumbs from burnt toast Lunch: 1 doughnut hole (without water) Dinner: 1 glass of dehydrated water, 3 grains of cornmeal (broiled) Wednesday Breakfast: Shredded eggshell skin Lunch: 1 half dozen poppy seeds Dinner: Bees knees and mosquito knuckles sauted in vinegar Thursday Breakfast: Boiled stains from tablecloth Lunch: Belly button from navel orange Dinner: 3 eyes from irish potatoes (diced) Friday Breakfast: 2 lobster antennae Lunch: 1 tail joint of a sea horse Dinner: Grilled or boiled guppy fillet Saturday Breakfast: 4 chopped banana seeds Lunch: Grilled butterfly liver Dinner: Jellied vertebrae of tadpole Sunday Breakfast: 1 pickled humming bird tongue Lunch: Prime rib of caterpillar Dinner: Tossed paprika and clover salad Note: A seven ounce glass of steam may be consumed on alternate days in order to 'blow off' any excess weight accumulated. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom to Aly Posted August 30, 2008 Share Posted August 30, 2008 Hmmm, I can't approve it, since I'm a vegetarian. Take off the meat, and it sounds like you could disappear in a month--if that's your goal. You must have had a BAD day--anything to get out of homeschooling, huh? ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*anj* Posted August 30, 2008 Author Share Posted August 30, 2008 Hmmm, I can't approve it, since I'm a vegetarian. Take off the meat, and it sounds like you could disappear in a month--if that's your goal. You must have had a BAD day--anything to get out of homeschooling, huh? ;) Nah, someone sent posted it to one of my nutrition Yahoo groups. I suppose you're right, there is a lot of *meat* in that diet, eh? :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lwilliams1922 Posted August 30, 2008 Share Posted August 30, 2008 It's time for me to loose the baby weight so I was excited to check it out. I think I'd rather fast. :( Have you ever tried the master cleanse? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*anj* Posted August 30, 2008 Author Share Posted August 30, 2008 It's time for me to loose the baby weight so I was excited to check it out.I think I'd rather fast. :( Have you ever tried the master cleanse? Nope. I keep thinking about doing something like that, but there is just too much going on in my life. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom to Aly Posted August 30, 2008 Share Posted August 30, 2008 Oh, man, I thought you were joking!!! OK, having gone through major nutrition and everything else classes lately, because of my newly discovered diabetes, the one thing I have discovered really is true is that your metabolism really shuts down if you down eat! You are supposed to eat within an hour of getting up, and that is how your body judges what you will have for the rest of the day--if you don't eat breakfast, it decides you are going to starve, and you sets itself into that mode, so you can't have as many cals for the rest of the day. Also, when it goes into starvation mode, you will not lose as much! They say much better to have a thousand careful cals than 500 or none! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
laylamcb Posted August 30, 2008 Share Posted August 30, 2008 Well, it sounds very effective to me--except the bees' knees and mosquito knuckles. Too much protein there. You'll never lose weight indulging that way. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pamela H in Texas Posted August 30, 2008 Share Posted August 30, 2008 I did a couple short master cleanses. I personally like it. It also, coupled with 2 weeks of eating raw, made my cholesterol plummet into normal range for the first time in my adult life! Mostly, we eat cheap. Lots of beans, frozen veggies, soups, peanut butter, turkey, and oatmeal. I would love to do raw for real but I'd need some major appliances as doing it all by hand was REALLY cumbersome. I'm also afraid it would cost more. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*anj* Posted August 30, 2008 Author Share Posted August 30, 2008 Oh, man, I thought you were joking!!! OK, having gone through major nutrition and everything else classes lately, because of my newly discovered diabetes, the one thing I have discovered really is true is that your metabolism really shuts down if you down eat! You are supposed to eat within an hour of getting up, and that is how your body judges what you will have for the rest of the day--if you don't eat breakfast, it decides you are going to starve, and you sets itself into that mode, so you can't have as many cals for the rest of the day. Also, when it goes into starvation mode, you will not lose as much! They say much better to have a thousand careful cals than 500 or none! I was joking about the meat in the diet thing. ;) But I am so glad that you mentioned the stuff about eating after waking and metabolism. I remember hearing that once a long time ago, but I had totally forgotten. Thanks for mentioning it. Okay, so I've messed myself up for the day. Not good. I guess I'd really better follow that diet today, huh? :glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dirty ethel rackham Posted August 30, 2008 Share Posted August 30, 2008 I agree. How much nutrition is in that diet - enough to keep Kate Moss alive? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*anj* Posted August 30, 2008 Author Share Posted August 30, 2008 I agree. How much nutrition is in that diet - enough to keep Kate Moss alive? :lol::lol::lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Needleroozer Posted August 30, 2008 Share Posted August 30, 2008 Oh, man, I thought you were joking!!! OK, having gone through major nutrition and everything else classes lately, because of my newly discovered diabetes, the one thing I have discovered really is true is that your metabolism really shuts down if you down eat! You are supposed to eat within an hour of getting up, and that is how your body judges what you will have for the rest of the day--if you don't eat breakfast, it decides you are going to starve, and you sets itself into that mode, so you can't have as many cals for the rest of the day. Also, when it goes into starvation mode, you will not lose as much! They say much better to have a thousand careful cals than 500 or none! I realize now that this is why I was so sick this week! 3 days in a row of being really busy, running here and there, etc. but not eating enough or hydrating enough to support that. I have been eating brekky as soon as I get up, and it is really helping! LB Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abbeyej Posted August 30, 2008 Share Posted August 30, 2008 Where's the eye of newt? Wool of bat? Clearly they've left off some important food items... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
E_Edgerton Posted August 30, 2008 Share Posted August 30, 2008 Wow, is this real? I think it sounds worse than awful...just cut your calories and exercise! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie_0801 Posted August 31, 2008 Share Posted August 31, 2008 I would rather be fat than endure a diet like that. (heh, I'm a poet and didn't know it) Yeah. One of my major beliefs is that boring food equals a boring life. I am feeling miserable just reading this! :( Rosie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abbeyej Posted August 31, 2008 Share Posted August 31, 2008 Yeah. One of my major beliefs is that boring food equals a boring life. I am feeling miserable just reading this! In what possible world are "mosquito knuckles sautéed in vinegar" "boring"?! roflol... (Go back and read the list... lol... Prime rib of caterpillar indeed!) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom to Aly Posted August 31, 2008 Share Posted August 31, 2008 I was joking about the meat in the diet thing. ;) But I am so glad that you mentioned the stuff about eating after waking and metabolism. I remember hearing that once a long time ago, but I had totally forgotten. Thanks for mentioning it. Okay, so I've messed myself up for the day. Not good. I guess I'd really better follow that diet today, huh? :glare: Also, the best thing to have in the morn is protein--not cereal or oatmeal or other carbs. The very best thing is supposed to be yogurt, with fruit or without (although not too much fruit--sugar and carbs). Since I started eating yogurt in the morn--I put in a handful of honey nut cheerios, since I need 30 carbs, and the crunchiness makes your mind feel like you are eating more, I am so much more satisfied, I find it amazing!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*anj* Posted August 31, 2008 Author Share Posted August 31, 2008 Also, the best thing to have in the morn is protein--not cereal or oatmeal or other carbs. The very best thing is supposed to be yogurt, with fruit or without (although not too much fruit--sugar and carbs). Since I started eating yogurt in the morn--I put in a handful of honey nut cheerios, since I need 30 carbs, and the crunchiness makes your mind feel like you are eating more, I am so much more satisfied, I find it amazing!! Yeah, I learned that through personal experience. I simply cannot eat carbs in the morning. I'm not actually all that interested in breakfast foods. I'd rather eat leftover dinner for breakfast. If there's a little chicken or a piece of steak or something left from dinner dh will say "Do you want me to wrap this up for your breakfast?" :D He thinks I'm wacky, but it just works better for me. I also like veggies in the morning, although that's something I learned from being on the South Beach Diet. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie_0801 Posted August 31, 2008 Share Posted August 31, 2008 In what possible world are "mosquito knuckles sautéed in vinegar" "boring"?! It doesn't count as interesting if you can't find them on the plate! :) Rosie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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