nature girl Posted August 2, 2014 Share Posted August 2, 2014 The thread I referenced in the title became a bit argumentative when people started talking about their reasons for beginning math instruction early and accelerating in the early years. Several people responded that it made no sense to them and would only lead to burnout (and social issues) later, and I know that in general members of these forums tend to roll their eyes at parents who start formal education early. My DD has always been very driven to learn, she's not gifted but bright and motivated and seems to get great joy from learning. I never initiate teaching, she brings the books to me, and if I let her she'd do RS for hours a day. I've always limited her to no more than an hour of math plus reading (often less) but as we start K next year I'm wondering if it makes sense to ramp things up a touch or if I should keep dialing her back. I'd love to hear from BTDT parents of non-gifted children who've accelerated in the early years. Was this self-driven or was this primarily driven by you? Do you regret the acceleration now that your children are older, and if so why? Do you think it's had any effect on their love for learning, motivation, social skills, creativity or any other more holistic area? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reefgazer Posted August 2, 2014 Share Posted August 2, 2014 You know, I would ask for people's opinions and then sift through the opinions and then do what is best for your child. :) We accelerated some things in the early years with DD. I am generally one of those "let's not rush it" kind of people, but it was completely her choice to do some language activities that were not in my plan at the moment. I followed her lead and don't regret it; she was happy and is currently very verbally adept. I don't know which came first there, the chicken or the egg, but it is what it is. It's unclear to me whether the acceleration gave her verbal adeptness, or that she was already verbally adept and that's why she asked. I tend to think it's the latter. In recent years, I have learned to present my kids with a little bit more than I think they can do, and if it flies, it flies, and of not, we just drop back a bit. I have a tendency to underestimate my kids' abilities I think, so it's good to have a kid pushing me occasionally. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JustEm Posted August 2, 2014 Share Posted August 2, 2014 My ds is starting K in a few weeks so I don't have too much insight other than to say follow your child's lead. If she wants to learn don't hold back. I was held back at a young age and eventually started hating learning because of it. It took me a long time to enjoy learning again. My son asked me to teach him to read at age 3.5 so I got phonics pathways and he reads at a 2nd grade level now at age 5. He asked me to teach him math from a book because his cousin did it so we did Saxon 1 last year and will be doing Saxon 2 this year. If he asks I obliged. If he doesn't I just continue to surround him with interesting things that will help him learn while he plays. Phonics and math have never been required but he's never said he didn't want to do it once he asked me to teach him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JustEm Posted August 2, 2014 Share Posted August 2, 2014 The only thing I haven't obliged was his request to learn Mandarin. This is only because I don't have money to pay for a tutor. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
strange_girl Posted August 2, 2014 Share Posted August 2, 2014 When a child wants to learn, let them. I don't see any advantage to holding back an interested and motivated child simply because they haven't turned 5...or 6...or whatever age is deemed appropriate. The basic argument is that children are not 'developmentally ready' for certain things at young ages. I say that it depends upon the child. Many 6-year-olds here are not ready to blend letter sounds. My DD could do it at 4. Does that mean she's gifted or something? Not that I know of. The same premise applies to math. My newly-5 DS loves to add and subtract numbers. It is neither hard nor boring for him. It's fun. This year for K we will be doing Math In Focus 1 with him because it's challenging and he is going to love it! If your child is interested in learning and enjoys it, then by all means. Go for it! If you're dragging them along behind you making them do it while they cry and struggle, then it would definitely say back off. But I don't get that feeling from you. Do what is right for you and your child, and don't even worry what others are doing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crimson Wife Posted August 2, 2014 Share Posted August 2, 2014 In general I try to go "deeper" rather than faster. Saxon is a solid enough program for the average student but it isn't as rigorous as Beast Academy/Art of Problem Solving or Singapore with the Intensive Practice books or MEP, etc. I personally think parents do their kids a disservice academically when they accelerate with an easy program rather than going more slowly through a challenging one. Just my $0.02... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crimson Wife Posted August 2, 2014 Share Posted August 2, 2014 I do want to make it clear that I am fine with acceleration, so long as it is with a challenging program. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
La Texican Posted August 2, 2014 Share Posted August 2, 2014 I started my kids early. And I followed the advice I received on this board to switch to a more challenging set of books. I don't know what it was, but recently my almost seven year old didn't want to do his work any more. At the same time my almost four year old was asking for more work. I said, fine, my son can take a break and that will give me more time to teach my daughter while she's asking for it and interested. (she's an emerging reader and transitioning from tracing into copywork, she could use the support at this stage). My son has insisted on doing his sisters lessons too. It's way behind the work he was doing, and slightly behind the work he should be doing at his age. I'm taking it as a good thing because he's choosing to do work when he doesn't have to. I don't know the deeper meanings of his choice. I don't know if it's what people are calling burnout. I don't know if it's what people call consolidation, where you rest after you've worked to let what you've learned sink in. I don't know the signs to distinguish between the two and I've read people mention both happening. I don't know if he's trying to stay little a little while longer. I don't know if it's because he's doing a serious physical growth spurt (he is) and sometimes they need their energy to do a growth spurt and not spend it on studying. I'm not sure how to tell the difference in the moment. I guess this doesn't help you figure out your choice, except to tell you that not only can I not predict what will happen in the future if you make this or that choice, it's also hard to decipher what's happening when you're going right through some kind of stage. And if you read too much online about child development and education you'll find there's so many meanings you can read into a situation that I'm not sure which one's true. I'm trying not to read too much into it, let it play out and give it time to see what's happening. A benefit of homeschooling is that everybody can follow their own path and go at their own pace. It's btdt, but barely, more like I'm in those trenches right now. I also keep changing pace. I figure it all out so that everything's working smoothly, then it seems to change after awhile. I started the school year with one schedule, it quit working smoothly. I made another schedule that worked great most of the year, now that quit going smoothly and we're doing this. I'm not sure what I'm doing. I've read arguements that this kind of flexibility is positive. I've heard other arguements in favor of consistancy and routine. I don't know if changing the routine is staying flexible and following my child's lead (not child-led, that's different, that's interest or delight driven) but following the child's lead, "teaching the child, not the curriculum" as it's called. I don't know if my btdt experience is far enough to help you at all, but it sure felt good to type out my confusion and "let it out.". :) edit to correct: I meant "can not predict", not "can predict". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
La Texican Posted August 2, 2014 Share Posted August 2, 2014 The only thing I haven't obliged was his request to learn Mandarin. This is only because I don't have money to pay for a tutor. I didn't use the program, but I enjoyed the 30 day trial of "Active Chinese" a couple years ago. It's worth looking at. It's cute. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LMD Posted August 3, 2014 Share Posted August 3, 2014 my oldest two were bright and ready to learn at 4. They were reading chapter books at 5. They are both 'levelling out' somewhat to be on par with their age peers. I'm glad we accelerated in the beginning, my children enjoyed some lovely extra time with reading, they felt smart and capable, and it gave us a little breathing room to take things at a slower pace later. I think homeschooling afforded us a great advantage in this regard, we were able to give them the challenge they craved in a short amount of time per day. They were academically ready but nowhere near ready for a full traditional school load. So, we had the best of both worlds, working academically but still preserving the play and No-pressure of young childhood. :) Follow your gut, follow your child, and have fun! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tress Posted August 3, 2014 Share Posted August 3, 2014 I would follow your child, but I would watch out for one thing: if a child notices that the best/easiest way to get mommy's attention is to ask for academic lessons, such a kid *could* burn out on the academics, while still craving mommy time. That *could* become a difficult situation. So I would try to see if it's mommy time in general that will satisfy or if the child wants real academic stuff, or a mix of both, of course :). My second and third dd both threw some big tantrums just before turning 4 yo because they wanted to read. They did NOT want me to read to them, or play with letter magnets, or with stickers, or play a game with me. They wanted to learn to read, so we did. We got through our phonics curriculum in 3-4 months with never a problem. After learning to read we started math, which is the highlight of the day for them. I'm very pleased with how it went, because it made it much easier to challenge them appropriately while still keeping school very short. With my oldest dd, it took me years...years....to accelerate enough to get her appriopiately challenged, which did her perfectionism no good :(. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nature girl Posted August 4, 2014 Author Share Posted August 4, 2014 Thank you all for your comments and experiences, very helpful. Heigh Ho, I completely agree, which is why I chose RS and Miquon rather than something like Saxon. When we're done with RS C, hopefully BA 2 will be available. I'm prepared to slow down whenever I feel like the programs are moving past what she's developmentally able to absorb. Tress, your post made me think. Because my daughter is an only she's always gotten my undivided attention whether it's through schooling or games or art or imaginary play. But I've been wondering whether she thrives on the praise she gets for her abilities as much as she does through the actual learning. When I express surprise at how quickly she learns something, her whole body lights up with pride and happiness. But when she struggles she melts down easily and just gives up, she gets so easily frustrated with herself, which is one of the many reasons I've tried to back off a bit over the past several months. Does she really love learning, or just love feeling smart? She insists on "school" and truly seems to enjoy it, until she doesn't... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kiana Posted August 4, 2014 Share Posted August 4, 2014 Tress, your post made me think. Because my daughter is an only she's always gotten my undivided attention whether it's through schooling or games or art or imaginary play. But I've been wondering whether she thrives on the praise she gets for her abilities as much as she does through the actual learning. When I express surprise at how quickly she learns something, her whole body lights up with pride and happiness. But when she struggles she melts down easily and just gives up, she gets so easily frustrated with herself, which is one of the many reasons I've tried to back off a bit over the past several months. Does she really love learning, or just love feeling smart? She insists on "school" and truly seems to enjoy it, until she doesn't... You know, I would really start complimenting her on things like hard work rather than quick learning. For example -- I noticed you working very hard on your math today. Good job! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nature girl Posted August 4, 2014 Author Share Posted August 4, 2014 You know, I would really start complimenting her on things like hard work rather than quick learning. For example -- I noticed you working very hard on your math today. Good job! Oh yes, that's a great point and I definitely praise effort (especially after reading articles on this over the past couple of years.) I also emphasize whenever I'm struggling with something how those struggles are helping me learn, and sometimes pretend to have a hard time with things just so she can see it happens to everyone. That doesn't seem to have mitigated her perfectionism, though. I think being proud of hard work and diligence is a little beyond her at this point, although of course I hope she'll get there in time. I don't ever praise her for "smartness," which I think can be detrimental. But I do find myself expressing surprise when she gets things I'd assumed we'd have to work through more slowly, and that's where she lights up with pride and excitement. I never thought of that as an issue, but maybe it's putting too much stress on her in the times things don't come as easily, because she expects more of herself, or maybe even thinks I expect it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tress Posted August 4, 2014 Share Posted August 4, 2014 I don't ever praise her for "smartness," which I think can be detrimental. But I do find myself expressing surprise when she gets things I'd assumed we'd have to work through more slowly, and that's where she lights up with pride and excitement. I never thought of that as an issue, but maybe it's putting too much stress on her in the times things don't come as easily, because she expects more of herself, or maybe even thinks I expect it. :grouphug: I would look at this careful the next few months and I'm sure as a caring mom you will see if you need to change some things or not. Praising effort is indeed very important, but if you have a little one who is quick to learn things it can be difficult to hide suprise, as you say, or just simple delight, because it is delightful to learn things quickly, to have conversations with your child where she makes all kinds of beautiful connections etc etc. I'm not saying you have necessarily caused her perfectionism/unwillingness to work through a challenge, because part of it is certainly age appropriate, but I would do my best to find things to gently stretch her and get her used to a challenge/frustration/failure and then celebrate that challenge and her effort. It's the one thing I regret looking back to what I did with my dd10. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Governess Posted August 4, 2014 Share Posted August 4, 2014 I'm not sure how "gifted" my oldest is. But I started her early. I haven't regretted it. The biggest challenge is that now, as a fifth grader, she is doing mostly middle and some high school level work and it is more demanding of her time and brain power (deep thinking) than she is sometimes ready for. But it is also giving her a good challenge and (finally) slowing her down. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DesertBlossom Posted August 4, 2014 Share Posted August 4, 2014 I had plans to send DS to kinder this year because I was scared of teaching him to learn to read. He's almost 6, so one of the oldest in his grade. The last few months he has been determined to learn to read and while I help him, I don't encourage. And he's reading better now than my others were at the end of kinder. He also wanted math. And after plugging through some cheap dollar stores workbooks, I bought him Math Mammoth 1. He's doing really well. So, teaching him read no longer terrifies me so I'm homeschooling him too. Sometimes you just have to follow the kid's lead. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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