happypamama Posted July 7, 2014 Share Posted July 7, 2014 I detest being outside in all but the nicest of spring and fall weather. My eyes are super sensitive to sunlight and always have been. I am also sensitive to hot and cold, and it doesn't take much for it to be too hot, cold, windy, whatever for my liking. As a child, my version of playing outside was "taking a book to read in the shade." I think there are other ways to get exercise and vitamin D, and I would not push it with him, as long as he can get those things some other way. Oh, and yeah, the bug thing would do it for me too. Once bitten, twice shy, for sure. I'd work on gently getting him over that fear, like taking him for short, focused trips outside (like "we're going on a nature hike," rather than "play outside"), and I'd talk about how he's safe, you don't see any bees, etc. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AimeeM Posted July 7, 2014 Author Share Posted July 7, 2014 I detest being outside in all but the nicest of spring and fall weather. My eyes are super sensitive to sunlight and always have been. I am also sensitive to hot and cold, and it doesn't take much for it to be too hot, cold, windy, whatever for my liking. As a child, my version of playing outside was "taking a book to read in the shade." I think there are other ways to get exercise and vitamin D, and I would not push it with him, as long as he can get those things some other way. Oh, and yeah, the bug thing would do it for me too. Once bitten, twice shy, for sure. I'd work on gently getting him over that fear, like taking him for short, focused trips outside (like "we're going on a nature hike," rather than "play outside"), and I'd talk about how he's safe, you don't see any bees, etc. Unfortunately we do see bees - all the time. It's just that kind of area. There is no place, out of doors, that we can't see ants (especially fire ants this time of year) and bees (lots of bees). I do feel like he didn't have any real time away from the source of his fears - he is surrounded by them especially in the nicest of weather (although he doesn't seem to mind winter - no real bugs, come to think of it). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Terabith Posted July 8, 2014 Share Posted July 8, 2014 It sounds like the main issue is heat and bugs. Can't say I blame him there.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fairfarmhand Posted July 8, 2014 Share Posted July 8, 2014 My son loves to play outdoors on the sidewalk and on the gravel with his blocks and action figures. Now my guy likes dirt and bugs and tadpoles, but he also finds play that's not rolling around in the grass and bugs. Does your boy have a porch where he can set up forts for his army men with his blocks? My little fellow loves to use the hose to make "rivers" through his villages. I agree with him needing to learn to face his fear of bugs and such and at least be able to manage it a little bit. If it's hot, I get that. But he should be able to go outside and play for at least 30 minutes on nicer days or early in the morning or right before sunset. Get him some sunglasses, (The bright light may be irritating to him) Use insect repellent for mosquitoes. Teach him how to watch out for fire ants. I might also use granules to kill the ones in my yard. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AimeeM Posted July 8, 2014 Author Share Posted July 8, 2014 I think we're going to insist that he accompany us on our daily walks, but nix forcing anything else. I'm uncomfortable with the idea of forcing him to confront his fear of painful insects (bees and fireants) at a time of year when they are literally rampant in the area (even walking around the paved subdivision. When the weather starts cooling off, and some of the more painful insects have gone for the year, we'll start to slowly incorporate more outdoor time. He did enjoy the sprinkler with his big sister the other day, so there's that too - maybe we can get him outside doing that, if not daily, then every other day. (ETA: this is after talking to Tony about it last night; I think we may have to accept, too, that even if he isn't terrified of bugs, he simply isn't a sports loving, outdoorsy kind of little guy - and I can completely empathize there, as I am exactly the same way.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hillfarm Posted July 8, 2014 Share Posted July 8, 2014 I''m not sure that being outdoors will desensitize a kid to fears. I WISH it would. My son is afraid of bugs inside or out, but he'll take out a mouse for me. I'm irrationally terrified of mice/rats and I spent most of my childhood outside. I didn't mean to imply that I think just being outdoors would desensitize a child. The examples I gave were intended to illustrate my point that often, the fear of the outdoors is a greater danger to the child than the actual object of the fear is. I think there are many strategies that could help a child to deal with their fears associated with the outdoors. Exposure might be one of them, but not necessarily the first one I would try. Without having done any real research on this (since we practically live outdoors for large parts of the year), I would think things like studying nature first from a more academic standpoint then eventually via controlled and specific outdoor observation might help. Role playing might help. Emphasizing all the many times that the neighborhood children played outside and did NOT have any problems with bees or other insects might help the child to realize that troublesome incidents comprise only a very small part of the outdoor experience. Perhaps after working through all that, exposure to the outdoors might be an appropriate strategy. Maybe the first time with both trusted adults and children nearby and the safety of a house or car easily accessible, maybe only a few minutes the first time. Then slowly manipulate the elements until the child becomes more confident to remain outside by themselves. I am not a proponent of the sink or swim method of teaching. I don't like the "you'll get used to it." method. Because some kids don't get used to it. They merely internalize their fears and remain miserable. I do think desensitization has a place, but only after the child is well along in the process due to using other coping methods. I don't propose that all children will become nature lovers or even nature likers. But I would hope, for their own safety, that they can become competent outdoor "visitors". That they would have learned some basic skills for safe interaction with nature and be comfortable with the fact that they can tolerate being outdoors (possibly even enjoy it a bit) if they have to be. Panic over being outside and around nature is a dangerous thing and serves no good purpose. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Critterfixer Posted July 8, 2014 Share Posted July 8, 2014 My boys would say that they ought to be outdoors every waking hour during fall, spring and most of the winter. Summer is just nobody's picnic. It's too hot, the gnats are so annoying that they out-compete the mosquitoes for how many bugs can you get down your ear, and we have nearly every tick (and tick disease) available for the catching in the front yard. It's just a bad time to encourage a love of being in nature. It is, however, a good time to encourage a love of nature. We have at least one state park here that has a nice indoor center with fish, lots of videos and even a beautiful enclosed bee-hive. It's a good time to rent nature videos and enjoy places you don't get to see (we particularly like penguins and polar bears during the summer.) It's a good time to break out books on bugs and read about them. And don't nix the idea of him someday being an outdoor/sports/adventuresome guy. He's five. One of mine hated to get dirty at that age. The other day I had to hose both boys down after they decided to take a mud bath, and my "don't get dirty" guy had mud behind his ears and up his nose. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Mungo Posted July 8, 2014 Share Posted July 8, 2014 I agree with those who believe outside playtime is important for all of the reasons listed. I have generally made it a goal of my kids getting an hour of outdoor exercise per day when the weather is nice and at least 20 or 30 minutes, if it isn't. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alessandra Posted July 10, 2014 Share Posted July 10, 2014 He might like Klutz Big Bubbles kit. You can make bubbles 8-12 ft long if the weather is right. You have to run a little bit as you form the bubbles. http://www.walmart.com/ip/Klutz-Big-Bubbles-Book-Kit/17176180 I used to get a lot of lawn games from Target. I presume they still have them -- plastic horseshoes, lawn bowling, croquet -- all in kid sizes, with cute designs. Bug zappers -- looks like a tennis racquet. I hope this is not too cruel. We only use on gnats, mosquitos, etc. My dc also liked the collapsible tunnels with attached playhouses. Here is a link to Melissa & Doug backyard toys: http://www.melissaan...-play?&n=0&va=t For the critics here ('just give them a cardboard box'), we did that too…. 9/11/2014 deleted photo as per SWB request Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alessandra Posted July 10, 2014 Share Posted July 10, 2014 Rainbow Resource sent this email: 9/11/2014 deleted photos as per SWB request Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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