Thinking out loud...help me figure out private school for next year

[PrincessMommy]

Backstory:

 

my youngest (13 in a week) son has been in a Montessori school for 4yrs.  Before that we had homeschooled.   He's been a struggling reader from the beginning and has been tutored off and on since about 2nd grade.   We had him tested last year and then he did the Wilson prog. for a year and gained 2.5yrs of reading!! whoot!

 

In the testing they basically threw everything but the kitchen sink into the accommodations.  They told me at the time that that is because the public schools are SO reluctant to give anything that they ask for as much as possible just so a kid can get something.  I worried this was a mistake since we don't have any intention of ever sending him to public.   Well, that came home to roost last month.  He was not accepted into the priv. school our 18r old just grad. from.  They said it was because they couldn't do his accommodations.  We ask for a meeting  so we could explain that we never expected it, nor do we think our son needs all of them anyway (and some we can do at home)... we assumed (obviously wrongly) that they would want to meet with us first before casting us off.    They still haven't gotten back to me.  And perhaps it's a blessing in disguise.   It's a very traditionally minded, college prepatory school - with a bigger emphasis on liberal arts (rather than STEM).   My son deals with anxiety related to his dyslexia.  He was already a bit worried about keeping up (esp. with writing).  He's great at math and loves to build anything. 

 

So we've found 2 schools that will both work with our son where he is. 

 

School one:  is more of a traditional school meeting the needs of kids with LD (there's actually a couple schools like this in the area). They said 65% have some kind of LD/accomodation and the others do not, most of those are siblings.   We met the 7th grade English teacher,which was great since this is the area our son is weak in.  She said she gets them at all levels and works to bring them up to speed.   It's a bigger school so he'll probably have about 15-20 in his class.  The said their grad. class had 24 this year. But, that also means they have more extra stuff that a larger school can do (like after school sports).  He's going to go and visit next week for two days during their summer school program.  As for the atmosphere... it's definitely higher end.  Perhaps it's where the school is (one of the most expensive zip codes in the country) but I definitely get that upper crust feeling, which I don't like.

 

School two:  Very different.  Much more like homeschooling in school with friends.  I'd say it's quite close to an unschooling style..  Learning is kid directed.  They can work independently on a topic, or with groups, or one on one(or 2/1) with a teacher.  They do have subjects and "classes" - like history, science, math with appropriate teachers.   The head of school is a strong advocate (militant almost) of this style of learning.  He's very anti-traditional school which he thinks is killing kids creativity and love of learning (can't disagree - esp. in publ. school sector).  He's also very anti-labeling.  He says it boxes kids in, but for my LD kids a dx. actually was a relief for them...it wasn't that they were "dumb" (my kid's words) but that they had this disconnect in the brain.   They don't do grades (even for high school - they kind of do it for transcripts but reluctantly).  They also have a big emphasis on the arts: performing and graphic.  While that's great, and certainly important aspect, it's not something we aspire as a career.

 

There are things I like about both and things that have me concerned.

 

I really like #2, but at some point our hope/goal is for our ds to enter the world of higher education.  Sometimes he WILL have to do something he doesn't really enjoy and get it done, whether that's a term paper or just real-life stuff like taxes.   The school is very hippy-loose style of learning and atmosphere.  But I'm worried it might not be quite rigorous enough to bring him up to speed (esp. on writing) and prepare him for college.  The schools only 5-7yrs old, and this year they had a grad. class of 7. So no real way to know how kids are doing after K-12.   It will be a leap of faith (not unlike beginning to homeschool back in the day).   If he were in 4thor 5th grad I'd definitely do it and take the change.  But, he's going into 7th and, if it doesn't work, important time will have been lost.

 

It seems like #1 will definitely prepare our son for life outside of K-12 in the society we live in now where a college degree is mandatory.  But, I don't know - there's something that holds me back.  It's like it's the easy, sure fit route...but maybe not the best route.  Does that make sense?

[umsami]

I would probably wait until after the visits and get your DS's input.  At 13, I would definitely take that into consideration.  If he likes #2 better, I'd also consider #2 for 7th and 8th grade, and then perhaps moving to #1 if you feel he's not being prepared well enough for college.  

 

Schools are like homeschooling.  You don't have to commit forever.  #2 might be great for only a year or two, and then you can move---or you may find that it works completely for your son and family.  

 

Can you talk to families of kids who graduated from #2 or who have at least been there for a few years? (Knowing that the school is new.)

[Starr]

School number two sounds like it's focused on the arts. If he's interested in stem of any kind he will have to be prepared for math and science classes in college. And they will look at his transcripts and testing. I agree that you will have a better feel once you visit them.

[PrincessMommy]

Thanks.. my son has visited #2 and really liked it - of course!  They had a class where they were building stuff.  Just his cup of tea.     I happen to know someone with children in both schools.  Haven't had a chance to sit down and talk specifics, but both are happy with their choices.  I'm hoping to talk more with both in the next week or so. 

 

I'd also like to see if I can talk with some other families - esp. from #2.  I need to call the school about it, but they seem very open.

 

 

 

 

 

[Guest]

Personally, I would choose school one. The reasons against school two would be my same reasons. My son is 14 and has similar difficulties with language skills. He is attending a private school for high school beginning this fall, same one my dd (with no LDs) attends. I also don't love that that school is attractive to very wealthy folks and is in a wealthy a raw, but it has not been a negative with DD so far. I would not love the peer influence you describe in school 2, because I DO have college goals for my kids. I don't want them to absorb the "college degree is just a piece of paper" rhetoric that often goes alongside the mindset you describe for school 2.

[almondbutterandjelly]

You definitely need to visit the schools.  However, please try to visit with an open mind.  It sounds like you have already decided you don't like school one, but on paper, it sounds like the best fit for you kid.  Works with LD kids?  Check.  More traditional, less artsy-fartsy for your STEM child?  Check.  College prep?  Check.  Structured, which is often very important with LD kids?  Check.  Gently, sometimes "upper crust" is a good fit, even if the thought of your kid in a blazer offends you.  :) 

[PrincessMommy]

You definitely need to visit the schools.  However, please try to visit with an open mind.  It sounds like you have already decided you don't like school one, but on paper, it sounds like the best fit for you kid.  Works with LD kids?  Check.  More traditional, less artsy-fartsy for your STEM child?  Check.  College prep?  Check.  Structured, which is often very important with LD kids?  Check.  Gently, sometimes "upper crust" is a good fit, even if the thought of your kid in a blazer offends you.  :)

 

LOL - yes that is true.  They actually have a more relaxed dress code than my dd's Christian school last year.  But, I don't want him thinking that the culture of 2 working high-powered Harvard parents bringing their kids to school in Bently's and BMW's is normal either. 

 

We've visited both schools.  I was actually totally ready for school #1 when we went to #2... it's just #2 has a thinking outside the box culture which appeals to me. 

[J-rap]

It almost sounds like #1 might be a better fit, but he'd probably be happy at both places.  As Umsami said, you can always start out at one, and switch before he goes into high school.

 

I will say that the art focused schools usually feel even MORE artsy once you are in high school, in so many ways.  This is great for an art student (maybe), but possibly not for your son.

 

When we were trying out a new city for a year several years ago, two of my daughters attended an arts high school for one year.  It was very, very artsy, and attracted some very....mmm...interesting characters!  It really was a hippie environment in so many ways!  One of my daughters loved it and the other couldn't stand it.

 

[OneStepAtATime]

Two dyslexic kids here so I understand your dilemma.  And I have a DH and a DD that think and function much better in "outside the box" environments.  (I don't :) ).

 

FWIW, DH is a very successful engineer, but he did not take a truly traditional route to get there and did much better, IMHO, than if he had, simply because he does think outside the box and he is also dyslexic.  

 

Would it be possible to try out school #2 but do summer school and after school work on writing, etc at home?  Maybe using a systematic program like Barton coupled with IEW and the new Fix-It grammar to shore up his weak areas while still giving him the chance to maybe work in an educational environment more suited to his learning style?  All of those have DVD instruction for the tutor/teacher and IEW has DVD instruction for the student so they would not be impossible to implement at home.

[Tap]

DD15 went to a Multiple Intelligence School for a few years which sounds a lot like school number 2.  It was an excellent choice for 2 years, but she chose to leave for 8th grade for a few reasons.  

 

1. Too small of a friend group.  There were going to be 6 kids in her class for her 8th grade (mixed 7th/8th grade classroom).  There were no choices for friends, you just had the kids in the room.  She wanted to find a friend that she really clicked with and to have the BFF experience.

 

2. Too many kids with LD.  DD is dyslexic but is very bright.  She loved that every subject was taught in different learning moralities, but she felt that since over half of the class was below normal in cognitive function, that she wouldn't get challenged in school. In that small of a class room that left her and 2 other students who were average intelligence. There is something to be said about having strong student learning and dialogue in class. She knew the remaining students wouldn't offer that. The higher cognitive students from the years before were all leaving the school (graduation or going to different schools).

 

3. The students who left the school and went to high school, often struggled for a least the first term.  The 'very limited' homework load didn't transition well when they went to traditional schools.  The way core subjects were taught was great for learning but put the kids at a huge disadvantage for high school level classes and standardized testing.  If the school does standardized tests, I would request the scores.  I wouldn't care if the scores weren't thought the roof, but kids need to be at least falling in the mid range for testing to make sure the school is covering the traditional material for grade level.  Here school was an "arts and science" school but their science program was not at academic standard and was minimal.   What topics they did cover, they did great! Lot of hands on learning, but they didn't bother to teach the other topics at all.  They way they taught math didn't stick with dd at all.  She sailed through learning it and was top in her class during the lessons, but since they didn't do any rote work or work for mastery, she didn't retain it.  

 

4.  It was lovely to walk in the classroom and have the teacher know your child so well.  The small classroom was amazing for one-on-one teaching.  The administration all knew me by first name and we were able to help build the community.  But since there were so few students, the school really struggled financially despite having a tuition cost of almost $20,000 per year.  Teachers were paid less that the  average first year public school teacher, but stuck around due to small class size and because they were allowed to do pretty much what ever they wanted with their classes.  This isn't a pro or con, just an observation.  The school relied heavily on fundraising and it was a bit off putting to be hounded all the time for more money on top of tuition. 

 

5.  The arts were amazing and I loved that they had visual arts, music and preforming arts still.  They had PE and did fun things that really showed kids that activity can be more than just team sports.

 

6. The kids had a voice there and kids were respected.  

 

 

(I have an appointment and need to go. I will post more later)

[katilac]

LOL - yes that is true.  They actually have a more relaxed dress code than my dd's Christian school last year.  But, I don't want him thinking that the culture of 2 working high-powered Harvard parents bringing their kids to school in Bently's and BMW's is normal either. 

 

 

But it is normal. It's not the only way of doing things, but it's a perfectly normal way of doing things. 

 

Either school could work. The first one sounds much more likely to lead ds to college, but that doesn't automatically make it the better choice. It depends on how open you are to ds taking a different path. A kid who loves to build could learn a lot in a school that has a lot of performing arts opportunities (assuming that they also have a stage crew, not just simple or solo performances). But I'd say it is definitely less likely to lead to college, although it still could, of course. 

 

My worry with the second school would be tracking ds's progress. It doesn't seem like it will be a focus for them, so how will you manage that? Outside testing? Can you test on your own?