Foster parents.....taking vacation with the kids? Babysitters?

[ChristusG]

I'm considering becoming a foster parent. We'd only take children under 2 since our youngest is 2.5 years old. This wouldn't happen for at least another 6-9 months, so by then my youngest would be over 3 years old.

 

We like to go on vacation quite often....whether it be going to Disney or camping in the next town. Would the foster child be allowed to come with us? I wouldn't want to use respite care or anything like that for a short vacation. We're talking a few days to a week.

 

Also, what about date nights with my husband? Or whenever I may have to go to the doctor? My mom lives very close to us and always watches my kids in that situation. Would a foster child be allowed to stay there when my kids do?

[Miss Peregrine]

In our state, a babysitter had to be approved/fingerprinted.

 

We took a vacation from CA to Williamsburg and we had to get the court's approval. We had to submit flight plans, itinerary, hotel/condo info.

 

It was worth the work, though. Leaving him would have been traumatic for him. He wouldn't have known if he was being moved again. :(

[NotSoObvious]

You should call and talk to your local office and get specifics, but I can tell you what the rules were for us in Utah. Yes, you are allowed to take vacations. Either the kids go to a respite family (foster care babysitters) while you are gone OR you can ask the judge for permission to take the kids with you (very easy in our case and the social worker did it all). Our kids always came with us except for one time when they stayed with another foster family we knew. 

Technically our home was licensed, so we could have a babysitter come to our home and that was ok. If it was going to be ongoing, the person was supposed to be fingerprinted and all that. When I sent one dd to an in home afterschool care provider who wasn't licensed by the state, our social worker had to do a walk through of her house and "license" her. 

 

Remember though that the kids placed with you could have significant needs that prevent them being left with just anyone, so it can be a struggle at first. Also, you'll need to weigh the consequences of kids feeling left out if you take only your kids with you on a vacation, and you should be prepared to deal with the emotional/behavioral consequences of that. Just my two cents. Every case is very different! 

 

ETA: Duh, kids under two. So, maybe no feeling left out, but attachment issues can cause severe behavior problems, even in kids that little, so it will just depend on whether it's a good fit for you to leave the child.

[RebeccaS]

I only took kids ages 2 and under.  We were never denied the opportunity to take the kids with us with one exception, but that social worker was a real gem. [sarcasm]  The courts and all the other social workers have always approved us taking the kids-even out of the country.  I only used respite care under very, very limited circumstances.  

I would submit our travel information 2 weeks in advance (usually more if it was out of the country as we'd need birth certificates).  I included travel itinerary, but sometimes they didn't even care about that-especially the longer we fostered and when a child was with us long-term.

 

All of our babysitters had to have a background check to be ok.  We were told that we could use an underage sitter (ie under 18) but that if anything happened it was on our own heads.  We hired a very reliable and mature 16 year old in our church to do the majority of our babysitting.  My parents also submitted to the BC and were approved for sitting.

 

For the times that I needed respite, I built and maintained a rapport with another foster family who also did respites.  That was well worth it because she took my placement last minute one time when my ds was hospitalized and my dh was out of town.  

 

We travel quite a bit-probably 6+ times/year out of state or country.  We also did a fair amount of trips instate.  For those we were just required to notify the social worker that we were leaving the county and for what reason.  (Doctor appts excluded)

 

Of course, it's all subject to your state laws, the social worker you get (that one we had was just crazy! lol), the kids (we had a screamer one time-it was a bit of a relief to have a tiny break from him), and the situation.  All in all, when those kids are placed with us, they're family and that means traveling with us if it is possible.

 

One more thing-we had a social worker who highly encouraged traveling with the kids if possible.  Many of those kids will never travel much more than beyond their county, let alone out of state.  

[Ottakee]

Usually with proper notice you can take the kids on vacation with you.  You need the judges approval for out of state and papers giving you permission to take the child across state lines.  Depending on the visit schedule with the bio parents they might make you make up extra visits before and after the trip esp. if it is for more than 1 week.  Just remember that kids under 2 (and esp. those under a year) might have 2-3 visits each week.

 

For in home care you could use adults that have passed a clearance check.  For out of your home care that is overnight you would need another licensed foster home but for just a few hours during the day the person just needs to have a criminal clearance check done.

 

There are no additional funds for taking a child on vacation so any extra costs for travel, hotel, meals out, attractions, etc. would be out of your pocket which might be minimal for such a young child.  That is a barrier for many foster families with older kids though as taking an extra child along on a Disney vacation might not be affordable for the foster family as the child's daily rate doesnt' come anywhere near close to covering the costs of the vacation.

 

 

[LNC]

Yes ask. We took our foster daughter 10 months to the beach. We got the ok from the social worker, but I wanted to also ask her teen mom bc she would have to miss a visit opportunity. I will never forget the young mom's face light up and she reached out to her baby and said "I've never seen the ocean." It still makes me cry to think of it. We took dozens of photos of our foster daughter posed at the beach, in front of palm trees, and on a boat tour etc. Her mom was so happy to have the photo album.

 

Kind of a long way to say permission from a social worker is one thing, but considering the birthmother's needs is also important.

[Kevin'sMom]

We have been foster parents in Missouri since 2005. We have never had a babysitter or a night out since then. We do take foster children on vacation, but we also sometimes take a vacation without them. The state provides 12 days of respite every year for them. Last year we went to a family reunion and left our foster daughter with another foster family for four days. We took one of our foster children to Disney World and Sea World, and took the foster daughter we have now on a family vacation last summer. It really isn't the vacations that pose a problem. You can take the children out of the state here in Missouri without a court order, but not out of the country, naturally. It is the day to day that is difficult, since every babysitter or caregiver has to have a background check.

[Momling]

In our state, vacations in-state with a foster child don't require anything, though I send an email to the caseworker as a courtesy. Vacations out-of-state require a case worker to get permission. A judge would be required for international travel, but we've done respite care in the two instances that we've traveled internationally. We get no respite care allowance... We just find another certified family and pro-rate the foster care allowance.

 

We can use a babysitter, no special requirements, though they don't want my own kids babysitting foster siblings until age 14.

[oneangelwaiting]

In our state, we had to get permission to leave the state, and if there was a parent visit scheduled for when we would be gone we had to get permission from the parent also.

 

Similar to others, anyone who watched the kids had to be approved (background check and home check if they would be spending the night). This check took at least 6 months to complete so we mostly ended up using other foster parents, or just not going on dates.

[KrissiK]

In California we have to get permission to take the child out of the county. Regarding babysitting, if it was only a few hours, like date night, we could use whoever we used for our biological children. They called it the Prudent Parent something or other. It was kind of like a guideline, that if it was something we as parents would do or let our bio kids do, then the foster kids could do it too. It was kind of vague, but we took advantage of it.

[Jennifer132]

Your mom can babysit as long as she is background checked (here they do not need fingerprinted, just background checked with their license).

 

For longer trips, like over 24 hours, you can get permission to take the child with you (very easy to do) or use respite. The respite will need to be fingerprinted and background checked.

 

We took our then 4 month old foster from OK to CA. It wasn't a big deal at all to get permission. In state, you just need to let the worker know where you will be and for how long.