So the food thing: he used to eat with us always, until he got a job and friends with cars. He chooses to be gone from home until his curfew every night. I will buy him food he asks for, he can cook food if he wants to, I have taught him to cook, it's not like the kitchen is under lock and key or something. He bus himself convenience foods if he wants to, but I will buy them for him if he asks for them (I don't typically buy them, we are feeding 7 other people here and I'd go broke trying to feed us like that). With the money, I'm not disagreeing with you but I'm curious how you would go about it. His school has no daily limit on spending, it's a la carte so you just buy whatever you want. If you want to spend twenty bucks and buy everyone at your table food then you can. Also if you want to go into debt on your card you can. And with clothing, I took him shopping, we'd talk about what he needed. He wanted a hundred dollar pair of shoes. I told him no. He cried, you guys. Nothing like being in a store with a very angry, grown man sized teenager crying about shoes. He gets so, so angry if he doesn't have control. He knows how to bargain shop, we talked about what he might not be able to get if he bought them. He bought them. I mean I don't know what else I can really do you know? Sent from my SCH-I545 using Tapatalk

Thanks so much you guys, I appreciate all the thoughts and ideas. Having someone else talk to him about money is a good thought. He doesn't disagree with how we do things, he just "can't" do it that way so he deals with the consequences (bumming money and rides from friends, going hungry until he comes home at night and making a sandwich, etc.). But maybe someone else giving a fresh perspective is a good idea. He was seriously considering joining the National Guard Reserve, the one where you serve one weekend a month and two weeks a year. I'm wondering if I should press that at all. I'm trying to step back and be more of a sounding board than anything, asking him questions to get him to think about things rather than making suggestions. It's hard to know how much to say. His main concerns there were that he wouldn't be able to play rugby this summer because of when boot camp starts (yeah....) and "What happens if I get arrested?" That question really took me aback, we haven't had any law enforcement dealings for over a year so it kind of came out of the blue. Is it worth talking to him about it again? It would give him some money in his pocket, delay school a bit though not much (just 1 semester), and give him some experience. He sees the pros but those couple of things have him hung up a bit. Sent from my SCH-I545 using Tapatalk

Thanks for your experience, that is very helpful and encouraging :) Sent from my SCH-I545 using Tapatalk

Being an electrician is what he's going to college for. No, not interested in finding a job where he can learn as an apprentice, or anything like that, has to be college so he can move out. We've had many, many conversations about it, but this is how he wants to do it and his mind won't be changed. This will be a very hands on type of college, we went and visited it a few months ago and I think if he must go somewhere then this is as good of a place as any for him. He has thought of doing the military in one way or another but I think at this point he's leaning towards not doing that. I'm pretty sure he wouldn't go out to eat with me. He did go to the grocery store with me the other night though so that's something! He normally eats one meal a week with us, usually lunch on Sunday but sometimes not even that. He does have chores he does around the house and he has been responsible for his own money for a long time (for example, we give him a set amount of money each year for clothes, he can spend it how he sees fit and if he wants more clothes than that will buy he has to come up with the difference, we give him x amount of money for food per school day in one lump sum at the beginning of the semester, he spends it how he sees fit which usually means it's gone within a few weeks of school starting and then he has to figure out how to eat at school the rest of the semester; he has to pay for all the stuff he does with his friends and eating out with them etc.). Also we've done budgeting with him, when he was young we forced him to save 10% of his earnings and helped him open a savings account (we stopped that when he turned 15, we had hoped the habit would stick but it did not), he's taken personal finance in school. He has a lot of knowledge but no ability/desire to say "no" to himself or to anyone else and that is something we can not fix. Hours upon hours spent answering his questions about things and explaining why we do what we do (which is a very different way from his family of origin), helping him at his request only to have him say "I just can't do that". I think some of it has stuck. Hopefully. Maybe. We haven't ever given him an amount of money that we would do, all we've said is that we will help him but we won't be able to pay for his entire college so he'll definitely be responsible for part of it.

I haven't been in these threads but I am getting back into working out! I took the baby in the stroller to the lake today and ran almost 4 miles. It's hard work pushing a stroller and running, I'm glad I don't have to do that very often. :) I ran a few other times this week and did one body weight workout video on YouTube which left me sore for 3 days. :) Sent from my SCH-I545 using Tapatalk

I could understand with an older child especially. Our son has been living with us since just after his 11th birthday. It's just hard to know what is best always. Off topic but I just started reading about how a bunch of adoptees are angry that their adopted parents gave them new last names (not new first names, just the family last name). One more thing to keep me up at night worrying if we messed up. Even people who were adopted as infants are angry about it. It never would have crossed my mind as something to get upset about.

In our state it is quite difficult to get emancipated. According to a few different friends in the system it basically never happens. Sent from my SCH-I545 using Tapatalk

Yes I'm sorry. I do not know why this happens when I'm on my phone. But it is the same person.

I haven't been able to find any scholarships that he qualifies for, many of them have to do with length of time in foster care and age of being in foster care (ie, in foster care at the age of 16 or higher). As far as adoption stuff, we asked the state about a guardianship and they said because of his age they wouldn't consider it (this was when he was 13, before the adoption). We have also adopted his 3 younger siblings, so that was part of the equation also. It was somewhat out of our hands, other than saying no he can't live with us, you know what I mean? I totally agree he is not ready for college. His therapist is the one who suggested he should try to live on campus, but then he realized that he could graduate early, and those two things combined to create the situation we are in now. He qualifies for the full fafsa grant (it's something like 5k $ per year, I can't remember exactly), and also direct loans. We will not be cosigning on any loans for him (or any of our children most likely). Sent from my SCH-I545 using Tapatalk

We are doing the London Pass which says it has a fast track for the London Tower and the London Bridge. I added up the cost of everything and i think will save some money that way. So hopefully not too much waiting in lines there. Our hotel is close to Westminster/Buckingham Palace so it's not much travel time to get to those places from there. I'll look at my map again to double check. If rearranging will save us time then that will work out wonderfully. Edited to add, my DH is not the best for spending hours upon hours at a museum either. I think 2 hours is a good amount of time, I know we won't get through it all. I will check out that podcast, that will be very helpful thank you!

This just in: DS6 said "Look, I found daddy's phone in the bathroom!" 5 minutes later DH picks up his phone. "Why won't this turn on?" DS6: "Well it fell in the toilet when I grabbed it." Me: "Did you wash your hands?" DS6: "yes, I did. And I washed Daddy's phone off too." Yeah, the phone is toast. 😬 Sent from my SCH-I545 using Tapatalk

My oldest son was in the kitchen while the pee was being dumped onto the floor out of the trashcan. He was utterly disgusted and declared he was never having kids. He then proceeded to tell me that when he was younger (living with his bio mom) he used to pee in the floor vents! His mom never found out. [emoji15] You guys are making me laugh so hard. I'm so glad I'm not the only one.

My 3 year old is potty trained but has a little potty in his room so maybe he just thought "Wow, this little potty in sister's room is just the right height for me to pee standing up in without having to go down the hall." So convenient for him. [emoji14] Sent from my SCH-I545 using Tapatalk

My daughter's (age 5) bedroom has been smelling really bad for the past week. At first I thought she must just have some stinky laundry, so we washed everything. Nope, still there. So I reminded her to do a good job when she takes a bath and make sure not to miss any parts, I mean is it possible she could have such horrible body odor at the age of 5? After no improvement we stripped her bedding yesterday and washed everything. Yesterday afternoon was "chore day" and she asked if she could empty her trash can. Well of course you can dear, don't let me stop you! She emptied it into the big trash can in the kitchen. Wet stuff spilled everywhere. On the floor, all down the trash can, everywhere. It was pee. In her trashcan in her room. Sitting for at least a week. Whhhyyyyyyyyyy? She swears she didn't do it. The three year old may have done it. I just do not understand. I'll spare you the rest of the details of the ridiculousness of my day yesterday. It's horrible but also hilarious. But also horrible. What crazy things have your kids been up to lately?

Four of our children are black. We know zero other black people. I am seeking them out but in our area there just aren't many. Possibly a bit of a tangent but here goes. When my son was in public school for kindergarten there was one other black child in his grade (but none in his class). We homeschool partly because I do want to make sure that they know about all of the awesome black people in history, not just Martin Luther King Jr. It really irritated me when his class did nothing for MLK day, no stories read, just nothing at all and I thought hmmm, I wonder if they would have acknowledged it if there were more black kids in the school? I wonder if black parents would have thrown a fit about the lack of celebrating the day? It's just one man but he's almost the only black man I remember learning about in school, if they aren't going to teach about him then who will they teach about? One of many reasons we chose to homeschool. Anyway I'm always super excited to read about black families who homeschool, thank you for sharing. Sent from my SCH-I545 using Tapatalk