Too many activities

[maize]

Right now, dd10 does Irish dance three or four days a week (depending on the week), ds8 has basketball once a week and gymnastics once a week, dd6 has gymnastics twice a week. They all take music lessons. I feel like we're running ourselves ragged trying to keep up with things. My real concern though is what will happen when the younger kids advance/become more serious about their chosen activities. Even if we restrict them each to one major activity, if each of those activities requires many hours a week away from home--and if they are all in different activities in different places--I don't see how we can keep up with it all. Why couldn't they all just have the same interests???

[Ripley]

Carpool. :) It's how my parents managed, and it's how I manage. 

 

I used to travel half of the week for work - I relied heavily on carpools to get my competitive athletes to their practices/games on days I worked. It did require developing relationships with coaches and teammate parents, which I enjoy doing anyway but I know not everyone does.

 

I was lucky that three families on my son's team had other children going to the side of town my daughter did - so between the four of us we were able to work out a plan that helped ALL of us. I also volunteered with the board, and spent years as a scheduler. It was something I could do even while traveling, and it allowed me to stagger my kids' events to my convenience - somewhat. Enough so that it was worth my time. LOL That won't work for all situations (dance, gymnastics) but I'm glad it worked for mine!

 

Good luck figuring it out. I always think I do more juggling than any circus clown ever was paid to. I know lots of us do!

[Carrie12345]

It gets crazy, period.

 

We have a 1 activity at a time (per kid) method that still doesn't work out well even when just 2 or 3 kids are active at the same time.  This winter, 2 kids have separate activities at 2:30 on Saturdays in different locations. Grrr!  When the girls play softball, games are often overlapping on opposite ends of the county (and I have a boy playing baseball over the state line!)

 

Dh doesn't like that we're pretty much homebodies from November to January, but I need that down time to recover from the rest of the year!

 

ETA: Carpool isn't a real option in our region. We're all spread too far apart, traveling in opposite directions.  It stinks.

[AK_Mom4]

When my older kids were little, they were limited in what they got to choose for an activity.  It had to fit into the family schedule and no more than twice a week in the evenings.  Then they had an activity that they did with DH on a third night (scouts or softball).  Once they hit high school, the activities increased, but by then they were old enough to set up car pools and eventually drive themselves.

 

Now that I just have two left at home, we are busier.  DD12 does both skiing and indoor softball practice during the winter, so we are out of the house most evenings and Saturday.  She also has music lessons during the day two times a week.  DS18 drives himself to play practice after school or to his meetings in the evening.  I don't mind being so busy because it works around my schedule - I coach skiing on the same nights and go work out at the gym when DD is at softball.

 

I think the key is that - since you are the chauffer - you need to figure out what is reasonable for YOU.  Maybe dance 4 days a week is too much for YOU to accomodate and your 10yo needs to cut back or help figure out car pools.  Maybe music needs to all happen on the same day or not at all.  When my kids were young, I was willing to do two nights a week and "special events".   Now, with older kids, I do more and have activities that are just for ME that get priority too. 

 

Figure out what schedule is reasonable for you, first.  Kids won't suffer to be doing fewer activities and have a more relaxed parent.

 

 

 

 

[Cera]

It is very hard.  We have 4 kids in the house and a 2 activities per kid rule (one sport, one other).  We currently have 2 in gymnastics on Mondays (same time and place), 1 in dance on Tuesdays, 1 in basketball Wednesdays and Saturday mornings), 1 in art Thursdays, 1 in drama Fridays, 1 in cub scouts (1 Thursday, 1 Friday and 1 Saturday per month) and 1 in soccer (Thursdays and Saturday mornings).  

 

It is crazy but it is worth it to me to allow the kids to explore their own interests and each have their own areas to shine.  We have actually told them that they have to choose at least one activity that no one else is doing as it really seems to cut down on the competition (each is the best at their own thing).  We also don't do any activities during the summer.  We stick to two - four weeks of summer day camp for each kid (depending on what they find that they want to try).

[MysteryJen]

You do get used to it. It helps here that 4 of the 5 are involved in the same swim team (still two different practices at different pools). You just find a rhythm and go with it.

 

Here, we found that keeping team sports to a minimum really helped. As did finding teams that were within biking/walking distance. And, one team sport (not in the water) at a time. So ds1 can do baseball because he can get himself there. Ds3 does rugby in the spring. Water polo is easier to handle due to pool limitations here. Everything else is an individual sport.

 

Every family will find its best balance.

[plansrme]

I remind myself constantly that this is just a season of life and that I will miss it when it is over.  Until my oldest started driving a few months ago (do you hear the angels singing, or is that just me?), there were days that I drove for five hours to get them everywhere.  

 

Besides graduating them to their own cars and carpooling, the other thing that helps is that as they get older, the length of their practices gets longer.  This is actually good because it means that you do not have to stay for the practice.  Instead, you can drop one off and then run another to something else.  Believe me, when they're at the same location for four hours instead of one, it is easier on the mama.

[bettyandbob]

As another poster said carpool. Get to know the other parents and get their contact info too. This is good to have just in case. Just in case, you happen to be at the dance studio and the power goes out. You can help call other parents yo let them know what's going on. Just in case something has detained you at Ben's piano lessons that you know will make you 5 minutes late to pick up Carol from tap, you can ask Julie's mom to tell Carol you are coming. Just in case...

 

As the kids get older you won't be hanging out at the activities and siblings won't be hanging out with you. Depending on the child, by the time they are 8, most things you can just drop them off. So, if ballet for Susie if from 3 to 5 and Jim's drum lesson is 4 4:30 that works perfectly.

 

By the time they are 11, if you are having transportation issues you should be able to drop them off 15 minutes early or pick them up 15 minutes late. Only do this if the studio is actually open at the early/late time. If soccer and swimming finish at 6, then pick up the child on the soccer field first and swing by the pool across town 15 minutes later.

 

The schedule is tight and only works if all dc cooperate. If carol won't get ready when need to leave and makes Jim late for practice because he's dropped off first then carol might need the consequence of missing practice for her favorite activity. Also, I only keep activities which the dc really want. Otherwise, maintaining a tight schedule is ten times more work for you. There are exceptions --did is in SAT prep right now and hates it, but I'm still dropping her off three times a week for the next three weeks.

 

So, you can schedule the activities and make it work. The next step is for your to know what's nearby each activity so you can finish grocery shopping while the kids are deposited in each activity. If you can accomplish that too you feel better about all the running around because you won't get home with the kids and still need to run around. Have your own go bag too so that you aren't sitting around. A million years ago when people wrote checks I did all the bills weekly at Sunday night swim practice. I used to menu planning during one practice and make shopping list. Then I'd shop during practice the next day. I'd figure out when I had to hit the Indian grocery next to gymnastics based on the menu.

 

I have one child with a disability so it's unlikely I will ever leave him at an activity.so, I have a bag with crochet in it that I bring with me--much better than leafing through random magazines.

[linders]

This is one regret I have about our chosen house - I love the semi-rural location, a very small development outside of town, but I look with longing at the minivans disgorging a half dozen kids at swim team practice. Every neighborhood in the main part of town has a carpool or two.