SKL Posted January 24, 2014 Share Posted January 24, 2014 I only like to hug little kids, my own kids, or my own significant other (if I have one). Not only do I not want to hug other people, I don't like being forced to exchange handshakes and pleasantries with strangers just because. I hate the beginning of church when we are told to stand up and greet the people around us. It may be why I am almost never on time for church. :P Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Firefly Posted January 24, 2014 Share Posted January 24, 2014 This is beautiful. I can really relate. I did not grow up as a hug or kisser, except when greeting my grandparents. Then four years ago, my young daughter needed spine surgery. Our suffering, hers physically and ours emotionally, and the help and kindness we got during that time changed me as a human being. I became grateful for so many little things and people became infinitely precious to me. I hugged and kissed my daughter's surgeon, his secretary, his assistant, and still do when I have the chance, though it's probably against the rules. Somehow after that experience I could see people's humanity, joys and sorrows, like I never did before and it makes me love them. So now I hug and kiss lots of people. It's pretty easy to tell if people aren't open to that and that's fine, but if they are, I embrace them and in my heart wish them all good things. Sorry if this sounds goofy. I don't think this sounds goofy at all. When I mentioned hugging doctors I was thinking mine, who I see once a year at most. This is totally different! I imagine, too, there are many in cases of prolonged illness that do become quite close to their doctors. (previous post since edited) :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Χά�ων Posted January 24, 2014 Share Posted January 24, 2014 I only like to hug little kids, my own kids, or my own significant other (if I have one). Not only do I not want to hug other people, I don't like being forced to exchange handshakes and pleasantries with strangers just because. I hate the beginning of church when we are told to stand up and greet the people around us. It may be why I am almost never on time for church. :P Why does an athesit go to church? It is required of the school your girls attends? I loked at a Catholic High School for DS but they did not require regular attendance of the students or family. I am confused. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted January 24, 2014 Share Posted January 24, 2014 Why does an athesit go to church? It is required of the school your girls attends? I loked at a Catholic High School for DS but they did not require regular attendance of the students or family. I am confused. My kids' school requires and expects church attendance. I also like to take my kids to church. It is the only time we get to sit quietly together for an extended time period. And it's been documented to be good for kids in many ways. I don't agree with all of the teachings, but my own beliefs that are not opposed to most of what is taught in church. I do not go by a label - atheist or otherwise. If I had to pick I'd be somewhere between Hindu and Buddhist. But they would probably not accept me, LOL. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mytwomonkeys Posted January 24, 2014 Share Posted January 24, 2014 I am a hugger. I like to hug people :) If you don't want to hug though it isn't rude. So give a smile and don't hug, but if someone should lean in and initiate a hug, I would do a really light limp fish hug - it will tell them it isn't really your thing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sassenach Posted January 24, 2014 Share Posted January 24, 2014 I'm a hugger. I hug everyone. Well, I should say that I do ask people if they're huggers before I go in for the first one, and most non-huggers give off a pretty clear "don't hug me" vibe, without even needing to be asked. Can't you just say goodbye like usual. I guess I don't understand why you feel the need to hug just because he does. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alexigail Posted January 25, 2014 Share Posted January 25, 2014 If it were me, I'd just ask my DH not to initiate hugs in that particular situation. He sounds like a friendly guy, but I would think he'd be fine with foregoing the hugs so that you can both be comfortable. I actually like hugging, but I would be a bit put off by a man I don't know well trying to hug me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amber in SJ Posted January 25, 2014 Share Posted January 25, 2014 I don't like to be hugged. My family of origin & Dh's family are big huggers & kissers. I can't stand it! I do know that children thrive on physical affection so I take a deep breath and hug when they need it but for the most part they know that dh is the cuddly one. I warn people. I am a part of a big hugging church culture so I say right up front that I am not a hugger. Please do not hug me. I know it makes me sound awful but I think I have a limit to physical contact each day & dh prefers I save it all up for him. When I have nursing babies I get so overwhelmed with the constant physical contact. That doesn't stop me from co-sleeping, nursing on demand or extended nursing because that is how my babies thrived but by the end of each day I thought to myself, "If one more person needs one more thing from my body, I am going to cry!" I know this makes me sound like a crazy person. What makes me sound even more crazy is I have training in infant massage and I teach classes for parents & babies and give entire lectures about how touch creates a bond between you & your baby. Amber in SJ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 25, 2014 Share Posted January 25, 2014 My husband once asked me that before coming here for the first time. He wanted to know if Americans were accurately portrayed on TV. I said probably not. Well, there's Honey Boo-Boo... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SadieMarie Posted January 25, 2014 Share Posted January 25, 2014 I was a non hugger who married a hugger with a large family of huggers. I have become more of a hugger. Hugs can be nice. They are also cheek kissers. That is harder for me. I once miscalculated and ended up kissing Dh's aunt on the lips instead of the cheek. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caroline Posted January 25, 2014 Share Posted January 25, 2014 I wrote a whole long post about hugging, and when I read it, I thought some of you would think I am some sort of crazy, overzealous hugger. And maybe I am. I am a hugger and a patter. If I hug you, chances are I am going to pat you, too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ILiveInFlipFlops Posted January 25, 2014 Share Posted January 25, 2014 I wrote a whole long post about hugging, and when I read it, I thought some of you would think I am some sort of crazy, overzealous hugger. And maybe I am. I am a hugger and a patter. If I hug you, chances are I am going to pat you, too. You know, I don't actually mind patting. I'm a patter and an arm toucher too, sometimes. Not always, but on my more "connected" days :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HS Mom in NC Posted January 25, 2014 Share Posted January 25, 2014 I'm not a hugger or kisser or air kisser either. There is a very short list of people I give hugs to and receive hug from happily. There are a few rare situations in which someone not on that list can hug me and I don't mind. I'm often tempted to say to people who are about to hug me, "There is a very short list of people I enjoy physical contact from. You are not on that list. If you ever make the list, I'll let you know." But I don't. I tolerate it for the sake of peace and smile a fake, uncomfortable smile. I deeply resent people assuming they can hug me at any time without a thought in their brains about it. It's a really bad idea to assume people are all the same and are comfortable with the same levels of physical contact. My personal space is sacred ground and if you haven't been invited into it, you're pissing me off even if you have good intentions. It's not the good intentions I resent, it's the presumption. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
foxbridgeacademy Posted January 25, 2014 Share Posted January 25, 2014 Um, no. NOT a hugger. I shower tons of affection on my kids and DH (which actually surprises me). I still have trouble hugging my mom (she's the original No Hugger). My sisters are much younger then me so I'm almost like a parent to them so hugging is ok-ish. I have no issues hugging my dad or grandma (the best one in the world). As for friends, I will grin and bear it if they insist on touching but I never start the lovefest. For your particular situation I suggest you remain busy inside the house, if you can trust your DH to NOT mention the MLM, when guests arrive (or vice versa). As they are leaving stand slightly to the side smile real big and try to have your hands full. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OnTheBrink Posted January 25, 2014 Share Posted January 25, 2014 Not a hugger, not a toucher and not even a nick-name giver. Like, I don't call my kids "honey" or "sweetie" and such. I don't like people in close proximity and crowds give me anxiety attacks. Just give me a bubble to live in, and I'll be fine. LOL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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