Moxie Posted October 3, 2013 Share Posted October 3, 2013 My 18 month old toddler has never, NOT ONCE, slept longer then 4 hours. I'm tired. My books are tired. Please, tell me how to fix this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zoobie Posted October 3, 2013 Share Posted October 3, 2013 Dr. Jay Gordon's night weaning advice is supposed to be wonderful. I've got a 14 month old and am waiting just a few more months... My olders never did this! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ravin Posted October 3, 2013 Share Posted October 3, 2013 Do you cosleep? I usually sleep thru most of the toddler nursing at night. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moxie Posted October 3, 2013 Author Share Posted October 3, 2013 She starts in her bed and I bring her to our bed when she wakes the first time. I do not sleep through the nursing. I'm done! Done, done, done! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sara in AZ Posted October 3, 2013 Share Posted October 3, 2013 18 months is always the hardest age for me. There are lots of teeth coming in. My books get sore, and I get really tired of night nursing. I don't often have a lot of luck with night weaning until closer to 2. My 2 1/2 year old still sometimes gets away with nighttime nursing. But I usually start by telling her at bedtime that she can't nurse again until the sun comes up. Keep a sippy cup of water available close to the bed.. We call it "cuddle water", and she can have that in the night, but not me. It's very important that DH be in board and willing to get up in the night and comfort/rock/keep her away from you until she gets past this. "The No Cry Sleep Solution" by Elizabeth Pantley has a lot if good ideas. I feel your pain. Hang in there! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted October 3, 2013 Share Posted October 3, 2013 first off, you will need your dh's support to help. do not nurse him after he's been put to bed at night. period. do not take him into your bed. you can get up when he cries, hug him, reassure him you're there, and put him back to bed - no nursing, no significant cuddling. if you need to, you can sit in a chair in his room, but don't pick him up. he needs to learn to go back to sleep by himself. get him one of those crib toys that he can play with if he wakes up. do you nurse him to sleep? that will be your next thing to cut out once he's adjusted to not nursing during the night. I've nursed all of mine, including one who hit me for six months after weaning him. (I ended up giving him a bottle - which he took for quite awhile.) He was the only one of the five I had any trouble weaning. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joanne Posted October 3, 2013 Share Posted October 3, 2013 Is dairy allergy possible? That lack of sleep pattern is consistent with dairy allery in infants and toddlers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moxie Posted October 3, 2013 Author Share Posted October 3, 2013 I don't think so. I just think she needs to learn how to fall asleep with the human pacifier. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
carriede Posted October 3, 2013 Share Posted October 3, 2013 Dr. Jay Gordon's night weaning advice is supposed to be wonderful. I've got a 14 month old and am waiting just a few more months... My olders never did this! This!! We night weaned both kids at 18 mo. DH's help was indespensible for about a week. It was tiring for him for one week, but now we ALL sleep! FWIW, we've never coslept. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tangerine Posted October 3, 2013 Share Posted October 3, 2013 If you want to night wean, if you think you and your little are both ready, then I would utilize daddy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lea_lpz Posted October 3, 2013 Share Posted October 3, 2013 I would no longer night nurse. If she cried, I would give her some water and tell her she has to stay in bed. If she got out if bed she'd go back in. Better yet dh could do it. Hey, you've done 18 months. Or just don't get up anymore. She will cry but eventually she'll learn not to get up and to eat more during the day. For you to be a good happy mom, you need sleep. You're only human. Long term sleep deprivation will give you issues that will make being a good mom hard because it'll impact your physical and mental health. For your toddler to be happy and healthy she also needs between 12-14 hours of sleep a day, uninturrepted. That's not happening if she's getting up to nurse. There is absolutely no medical reason for her to need to nurse at night. She is perfectly capable of sleeping on a full stomach if she consumed all her caloric needs during the day. None. It's just a skill she's never had to develop. Weaning a toddler from night nursing will be a lot harder than a 6 month old, and I'd expect for it to get worse (as far as resistance) before it gets better, but I think you'll have a happier toddler and mom if you do it. Just be consistent and stand firm in not letting her nurse at night. It'll probably take a full week. I did it with my 2 at 6 months old because I felt I reached my limit. As much as I loved the idea of attachment parenting, the reality was I wasn't a good mom if I was cranky from sleep deprivation, resentfully of my dh because he slept, resentful of my dd because she kept waking me up, for sick all the time because my immune system was crashing from lack of restorative sleep, and was becoming depressed due to...lack of sleep. When my dd got 14 hours of sleep because age could sleep 12 hours, everyone was happier. She was happier. Mom got sleep and down time. Dad and mom got to be man and wife again. When you become a mom, I don't think it means you have to completely surrender your own well being and health so your child never experiences an ounce of discomfort. Anyhow, what good will that do and what will it teach them about the worth of a wife and mother? By the way I did nurse both children until they were 18 months old, but I made sure to not nurse them until they actually fell asleep before naps or bed by the time they were 6 months old so they'd learn the skill of falling asleep. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jerico Posted October 3, 2013 Share Posted October 3, 2013 After almost 19 months of being a zombie and even midnight 24 marathons (my last 2 both would be up for hours between 12ish and 3ish. Even after weaning), It took my husband 1 night to get the kid sleeping. I kid you not. I would get his help for sure. Hugs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Incognito Posted October 3, 2013 Share Posted October 3, 2013 I nightweaned a bit earlier with mine, but had to re-do after some illnesses. As I recall, I would just tell them that my books were sleeping, and would be awake again in the orning. There was disappointment, and a few tears, but I said it, meant it, and after 1-2 sad times and snuggles they understood and accepted the limit. FWIW< I would use the time to have the child alwso stay in bed at night, but you con't have to do both at the same time if you don't want to. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blondeviolin Posted October 3, 2013 Share Posted October 3, 2013 Dr. Jay Gordon's night weaning advice is supposed to be wonderful. I've got a 14 month old and am waiting just a few more months... My olders never did this! This! So worth the week or so of misery! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joanne Posted October 3, 2013 Share Posted October 3, 2013 I don't think so. I just think she needs to learn how to fall asleep with the human pacifier. I'd encourage you to not be so quick to dismiss it and "blame" breastfeeding/mothercare. It is VERY common for dairy allergy to manifest in short/interupted sleep cycles. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Staceyshoe Posted October 3, 2013 Share Posted October 3, 2013 If the transition just doesn't work, then it might make sense to rule out allergies. My kiddo who did *not* sleep and needed to nurse all the time was in pain due to multiple severe food allergies. There was no family history of food allergies and no eczema or other telltale symptoms. I was at my wit's end before that---far beyond exhausted. Within 2 days of eliminating the allergens, the problem was completely solved. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Incognito Posted October 4, 2013 Share Posted October 4, 2013 Yes- if there is a suspicion of food allergies, they could affect sleep a lot. But if that isn't a suspected issue, your toddler is old enough to understand the limit and accept it ifyou want to establish it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dancingmama Posted October 4, 2013 Share Posted October 4, 2013 I would definitely take a look at food allergy issues before attempting any form of sleep training. Does baby come fully awake? If she's always been up like that, I'd highly recommend playing with food first. My son, who did not nurse due to medical issues, was up every four or so hours. Once we eliminated the dairy issue, he was sleeping through the night. Even now at 11, if he has too much milk in a week, he'll have trouble sleeping. If he doesn't have milk, he sleeps 11 hours straight. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tiramisu Posted October 4, 2013 Share Posted October 4, 2013 Moxie, you have my sympathy. I weaned late. I was very tired for a long time, and I think one of the reasons was that I weaned so late is that I didn't have the energy for it. It took major life events to force me into it. If you can find a way to manage to wean your baby from night nursing, I think you will feel better. I never found a particular method that worked, but whatever you try I think you will need help from dh. Weaning can be emotional and it's hard to summon the emotional strength when you're dealing with lack of sleep. All the suggestions about trying to determine if there's an allergy might be worth trying. I'd like to try for myself because I've always been a poor sleeper. Two of mine were poor sleepers and didn't sleep through the night until age 5 at least. They still wake frequently, one often feels sick at night, and they are 7 and 13. I know there's an underlying issue. Maybe it's dairy. It would be easier to try to figure out a food intolerance with an 18 month year old than a teen. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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