Homeschooling someone else's kids

[mitzvahmommy]

We moved a few months ago, and have become close with a wonderful family down the block.  As luck would have it, their school has just decided to close, and the mom, along with a few other families in town, has decided to homeschool.  I have mostly boys ( 9yo, 8yo, 6yo, and 4 yo as well as my 3yo daughter), while she will be keeping home her two girls (9 yo and 7yo), and perhaps her son (6yo), who I swear was separated at birth from my 6yo.  We have decided that I will teach history, science art and some religious studies to the group.  I already have the materials prepared, so the more the merrier!  She will teach some religious subjects to the oldest guys, which is a huge relief to me.  In general I am so happy about this new development.  I am sure, however, that many have done this sort of thing before, and can tell me about the potential pitfalls and challenges.  I welcome all advice.  Also, I want to assess her girls in terms of reading and math skills.  I just worked with my kids one on one for a while, observed how they thought and learned, and then found curriculum to address their personal needs.  Is that what I should do with her girls, or would a formal assessment test at the beginning and end of the year be better?

 

Thanks,

Rina

[kiwik]

Have you done a search? Every other time this has come up the general feeling is don't do it but you seem to have split things in a way that might work.

[mrs.m]

Math isn't on your list of subjects. Why would you need to know her daughters' math level? Ask mom what books they are with reading and generalize the levels from there.

 

I would divide the subjects up evenly and make it more of a coop. IMO, you aren't getting the better end of this deal and you stand a high chance of burn out. 

 

The biggest challenge when I went into these situations (even when the work was divided evenly amongst the parents) is that some families don't work as hard as others. The children would come to group unprepared and didn't take the work seriously. The other moms didn't prepare as well as I did either. I just couldn't wing-it, though. It's not my style. You can be sure that she is just finding her grounding as well and that she may struggle with the content and the newness of having kids at home all the time.

[Ellie]

So, she's teaching some things and you're teaching some things? That isn't homeschooling someone else's child. That's a co-op. People do it all the time. :-)

[AimeeM]

While I agree it sounds co-opish, you may want to check your state laws. Here it is illegal to homeschool another person's child for more than 49% of core subjects (math, english, history, science). I know I've heard others, in other states, say something similar.

Maybe I misread your post, but it sounds like you're doing all of the history, science, reading, and math? It could work - but check your state laws.

[Ellie]

Honestly, I wouldn't bother checking with anyone. Two parents, taking turns teaching each other's children in the areas each parent is strong in...as long as the parents are complying with any state laws as far as notification or testing or whatnot, I would just let it go.

[Tidbits of Learning]

I agree with the pp-check your state laws.  A co-op is something done with multiple families outside the home as an enrichment to your homeschooling.  This is just me, but I would be hesitant to turn over so many subjects to someone else or to take on so many core subjects for someone else with traditional homeschooling.  The only thing I see that you have put her down for teaching is religious studies to older kids while you tackle 4 subjects with her kids and your kids with a wide range of ages.

I am going to be honest and tell you co-ops have the good, the bad, and the ugly.  Homeschooling someone else's kid is not always easy.  I am using that term b/c you used that term but I agree this sounds like a co-op situation with just 2 families.  There may be specific laws for certain grades or ages with the subjects you are teaching.   Here for example state history is taught in 3rd and 8th and we have to cover the Federalist papers in high school in depth.  So you may want to think about those type of issues.

It didn't say you were teaching her kids reading or math so I do not see a need for you to evaluate them in those subjects.  I have taught in a co-op over the years and it can be quite frustrating and has all the pitfalls of a regular classroom-children are all over the place in capabilities, maturity, and the like.  

This isn't something I would take on in our homeschool as it takes away from your children.  This is our first year ever in 5 years not doing a co-op and we are on track with school for the first time.  I am tutoring a student in math 2x a week that does the same pre-algebra as my 7th grader.  It is still hard to keep my littles out of the way to tutor.  I took on 1 co-op class our first year homeschooling and it was a pre-k class with about 8 kids.  It was hard and it wore me out to prepare for the class and deal with the class.  That was one day a week.  If you are teaching science, history, art...and she isn't doing something comparable in home then you will be meeting several times a week.  This is your first year homeschooling.  I would get my homeschool in order before I took on someone else's kids and their studies and I would make sure that if I took on someone else's kids that the work would be evenly divided amongst the adults in charge.

I would set a trial period up so you don't feel obligated to teach that many children all year in case it becomes overwhelming.  Normally in 3rd or 4th grade some states have to test.  Is your state one of these states?  Will the 9 yr olds have to be assessed at the end of the year?  You will be taking responsibility for a huge chunk of their courses while it seems she is only teaching religious studies.  This is just me but it sounds terribly unbalanced and like she is getting the good end of the deal.  

 

[KeepItGoing]

I think it also depends on how you are planning to teach. For a little over a year, I taught a couple of students who weren't my own, and because of the increased number of kids, and their varied level of preparation, not to mention the time limitations, I found that I really had to modify my approach with them. So we lost some of the benefits of homeschooling in order to incorporate the other kids. (There were advantages, too, but in the end it was good that we stopped.) Were you planning to teach in such a way that it will be easily modified if one kids learns/reads three times as fast as another (possible!), if some kids do homework and others don't, if some kids are interested and some aren't? Or are you willing (as classrooms have to be to some extent) to just say that child X can't do this, so he doesn't get a good grade? In a very small group it's hard to leave someone behind, and it's hard to try to keep everyone together, too. But some approaches are better adaptable to this than others.

 

I can see this sort of thing being good (if you're really energized by teaching a group—in the long run, not just in prospect), but I can also see it being tough.

 

Another issue is that if she wants to homeschool long term, she will eventually need to get some confidence in what she's doing. You might both be better served if you help her out for a while, and help her to see that she can do this.

 

I think that evaluating them in reading and math and making recommendations for them sounds like the best part of what you've said. That's a short-term thing which can be a real service to the family, if you are good at it. In fact, I have a family coming to my house this week so that I can do something similar in math, and I'd love to do it more often.

 

And having said all this, I'll add that I'm actively looking for a boy who can come to our house and participate with us in some aspects of our homeschooling, because my son is highly social and could really benefit from a more constant companion. If this happens, the level of commitment for me and the other mom would almost certainly be uneven—and that would be okay with me, because I'd know what I was getting and what I was giving.

[AimeeM]

I say this gently.

I understand that NY has vague rules regarding this, so this may not be an issue there.

In general, I'm trying to teach my children to follow my rules and do what is right regardless of whether or not they will be "caught". I would think very hard about engaging in this type of activity, if it isn't allowed, and taking the approach of "well, nobody will ever know". It doesn't, to me, sound like it sets a great example.

Given, the law in NY does sound very vague. In my state the laws do specify what constitutes a "tutor" and what doesn't - I don't see that in the NY laws posted by Wendy.

[boscopup]

I would check state laws. While no one may check, you never know when someone you know may decide to report you (nosy neighbor, etc.). And as Aimee suggested, it's not setting a good example to pick and choose the laws you'll comply with. Even if I don't see any cops around, I still stop at a stop sign or a red light. :tongue_smilie: If someone else is schooling my children more than 50% of the time, that's not ME homeschooling them. That's using a tutor.

 

I would also be iffy about the whole setup in general. It does sound a bit one-sided. Why can't this mom teach her own kids? It is likely to make teaching your own kids more difficult. And do the two of you have the exact same  academic goals for your kids? For example, if she just wants them to be able to do the basics and you want a rigorous classical education, that could come to a head at some point.

[Ellie]

Unless the law specifically says you cannot meet together with other homeschoolers and share each other's expertise in different areas, then there's no reason not to do so. I would expect each parent to be complying with the homeschool laws--if any--in her state, of course, but otherwise, as far as I understand it, unless the law says you cannot, then you can. If the law is vague, even better.

[AimeeM]

I'm not a rule breaker in general, but if I think the rules are stupid and there is no consequence...what is the point?  I also don't believe in blindly following rules.

Not that I don't get what you are saying.  It's not about not being caught.  It's about the vagueness really.  Why is it a person can hire a tutor for all subjects, but they can't swap tutoring services in all subjects?  Makes absolutely no sense. 

 

At the end of the day, whatever arrangements I choose I care about the quality of those arrangements, not about some half baked regulations that nobody can interpret.

I do think your NY rules are very vague and open to interpretation. Now my regs in SC? Not vague. They specify what a tutor *is* to them. I disagree with them, but it isn't something that I care enough about to work at changing it, I do somewhat understand the rule, and I'm not going to break it, just because I get a mildly bad taste in my mouth about it.

 

I suppose that, in general, while I may find a rule or law stupid, I don't go out of my way to break them or teach my child that if they believe a rule is stupid, breaking the rule is fine so long as nobody will catch on; I encourage them to work on changing the rule.

And to be fair, both of you stated that "nobody would know" - so it did seem you were taking the "nobody will catch you" approach, lol, although that may not have been what you meant.

 

I don't believe in blindly following rules either - but I'm not going to encourage my children to break rules they dislike... not when they aren't mature enough to dislike certain rules for noble or even valid reasons. They don't like their bedtime, but I wouldn't be on board with them breaking that rule either - not without a well thought out argument (which wouldn't be breaking the rule - that would be their effort to change the rule).

[boscopup]

I'm not a rule breaker in general, but if I think the rules are stupid and there is no consequence...what is the point?  I also don't believe in blindly following rules.

 

If we teach our kids it's ok to break stupid rules, what's the point of having rules? What if the rule has a consequence that you just haven't thought of (but past legislatures did and made a rule because of it)?

 

I prefer to teach my kids that if a law is stupid, work to get the law changed! For example, homebirth with a trained attendant is illegal in my state, though going unassisted is perfectly legal! THAT is stupid. I can birth with no one around and be just fine, but if someone knowledgeable and trained and certified in attending a homebirth is in the room (someone trained to deal with complications!), they can be arrested. That is ridiculous. I wanted a homebirth, but I did not have one. I drove 15 minutes across the state line and birthed in a state that allows midwives, as I did want a trained attendant with me. Problem solved. Meanwhile, I work with the group that is trying to change the law, so that in the future, moms wanting a homebirth with a midwife won't have to cross the state line.

 

I don't believe in breaking laws just because they're stupid. If they are stupid, make it known to the world that they're stupid and need to be changed.

[mrs.m]

Isn't New York one of the worst states for homeschool regulations? I don't think my state has anything to say one way or the other. It probably does say you can't homeschool someone else's child full time... I don't know though.

 

Anyway, OP, another issue I had with these situations is what to do when the other family is ill and can't attend. This can seriously pull you way behind schedule when you are managing two families during flu season. Are you going to continue and have a way for them to catch up ay home? Put it off until you meet again but then it's your kids turn to be sick because you spend so much time together? I have often found it is better to share my lesson plans and let the other family follow them at their own pace.  I guess if you can address these issues, then maybe it can be successful. But I found that something else always comes along to make it more complicated and it becomes difficult on the friendship as well.

[Ellie]

Isn't New York one of the worst states for homeschool regulations? I don't think my state has anything to say one way or the other. It probably does say you can't homeschool someone else's child full time... I don't know though.

 

NY's statutes have lots of words but they don't mean much, lol. Even I could hs in NY. :-)

[ElizabethB]

I have done this in the past with a family that shared similar goals and made it work. I would start as a one month trial and then reassess and make sure everyone is happy with the arrangement.

 

You can use the placement test for whatever math you plan on using as both a placement and assessment. I have free reading grade level tests linked on my testing page. If they are below grade level on the NRRF test, I would add in the MWIA and the New Elizabethian test.

 

http://www.thephonicspage.org/On%20Reading/readinggradeleve.html

 

With all of these tests, do not teach to the test or tell them what they got wrong and then you can reuse them again in a few months or at the end of the year for assessment and progress checking.

[Garga]

History, science, art, and religious instruction aren't core subject at those ages. So....if you really want to do all the work, and if the laws allow it, then I suppose you could. Maybe if it was Charlotte Mason-y. You'll be teaching 6 children at 4 different grade levels, with 2 preschoolers running around.

 

Will the other mom be in the room with you to help with discipline issues or to help pass out papers and do crafts? Or will she be watching the preschoolers? If she is not actively helping, then 8 kids, 3 of whom aren't your own, would be hectic.

[AimeeM]

Ok, actually what I'm talking about is not breaking the rules.  What I'm talking about is interpreting vague rules.  People here are all up in arms about the percentage of time someone else is teaching someone's kids in a homeschool.  How in heck does one even calculate that?  To me either they allow it or they don't allow it.  If they say something like "the majority of" or "not more than x % of, how on earth do you interpret that?

 

We have a long list of requirements with zero guidelines.  For example, I need to submit an annual assessment.  That's pretty much all it says.  Um..ok.  So what information should I include?  How long does it have to be?  What must I say?  What eduspeak words do you want me to use?  Nobody knows.  So then either I get lucky and end up with a district person who doesn't have their own made up interpretation or I end up with someone who does and I jump through that yahoo's hoops.

 

I guess this is a bit of a hot button issue for me because people get so hung up on this stuff and I don't really get why.

I don't think it's hot button, really. If she isn't breaking the law, more power to her. As I said - our state isn't vague, and that's all I meant to impart. We are told what percentage of core classes we can outsource, what core subjects we must teach, a minimum number of hours for those (daily), and the number of days (minimally) that we have to complete - there isn't anything really open to interpretation.

But again, as I said, it sounds like NY's laws are much more vague.

[boscopup]

Did the OP actually say she is in NY? I don't think she did. That's why some of us were saying to check her state laws. NY laws don't help me if I'm trying to decide if this is legal in AL, for example. I don't have a problem with interpreting overly vague laws the way you want. I was just saying not to *break* the law. If the law is much less vague than NY and says you can't homeschool someone else's kid, I wouldn't do it.

[Kathryn]

I don't think it's hot button, really. If she isn't breaking the law, more power to her. As I said - our state isn't vague, and that's all I meant to impart. We are told what percentage of core classes we can outsource, what core subjects we must teach, a minimum number of hours for those (daily), and the number of days (minimally) that we have to complete - there isn't anything really open to interpretation.

But again, as I said, it sounds like NY's laws are much more vague.

The percentage requirement is not a South Carolina law. It is a requirement of SCAIHS, which is just one of many options for homeschooling in SC.

[AimeeM]

The percentage requirement is not a South Carolina law. It is a requirement of SCAIHS, which is just one of many options for homeschooling in SC.

Did I read it wrong? We are third option homeschoolers - this is what I read on, I believe, the HSLDA site regarding third option homeschool laws (and the only options being to operate as a private school or as a virtual public school student).

If we can indeed teach other students, I'd love to do so, lol.

[Kathryn]

Did I read it wrong? We are third option homeschoolers - this is what I read on, I believe, the HSLDA site regarding third option homeschool laws (and the only options being to operate as a private school or as a virtual public school student).

If we can indeed teach other students, I'd love to do so, lol.

Third option is regulated by Section 59-65-47. There is no mention of any percentage that the parent must teach. The only place I've ever seen that is when we were members of SCAIHS, and that isn't in the law, it's in their own requirements that they set.

 

These are the laws: http://www.schomeeducatorsassociation.org/lawetc.php

[AimeeM]

Third option is regulated by Section 59-65-47. There is no mention of any percentage that the parent must teach. The only place I've ever seen that is when we were members of SCAIHS, and that isn't in the law, it's in their own requirements that they set.

 

These are the laws: http://www.schomeeducatorsassociation.org/lawetc.php

I'm not a member of SCAIHS. This is interesting to me, too, because when I read the laws they stated at least 6 hours of instruction time - this states 4.5. Was it updated recently?

Sorry for the questions. I'm a bit confused. I read the laws several years ago, when we started, on the HSLDA website.

 

FWIW, I like these better! Lol. (the ones you supplied)

 

ETA: this is WAY different. We were told that we weren't required to test, this says we are. What is this first grade readiness too?

 

ETA 2: nevermind - I think I read the wrong grouping, lol. I need coffee.

[Kathryn]

I'm not a member of SCAIHS. This is interesting to me, too, because when I read the laws they stated at least 6 hours of instruction time - this states 4.5. Was it updated recently?

Sorry for the questions. I'm a bit confused. I read the laws several years ago, when we started, on the HSLDA website.

 

FWIW, I like these better! Lol. (the ones you supplied)

 

ETA: this is WAY different. We were told that we weren't required to test, this says we are. What is this first grade readiness too?

 

ETA 2: nevermind - I think I read the wrong grouping, lol. I need coffee.

 

I think you were reading the option one requirements? As third-option, the law does not require a certain number of hours of you. These are the legal requirements for third-option participants (individual groups can require more):

 

 

 

(a) a parent must hold at least a high school diploma or the equivalent general educational development (GED) certificate;

(b ) the instructional year is at least one hundred eighty days;

(c ) the curriculum includes, but is not limited to, the basic instructional areas of reading, writing, mathematics, science, and social studies, and in grades seven through twelve, composition and literature; and

(d) educational records shall be maintained by the parent-teacher and include:

(1) a plan book, diary, or other record indicating subjects taught and activities in which the student and parent-teacher engage;

(2) a portfolio of samples of the student's academic work; and

(3) a semiannual progress report including attendance records and individualized documentation of the student's academic progress in each of the basic instructional areas specified in item (c ) above.

[Ellie]

I don't know if the laws were changed or anything, but HSLDA's site also says that for Option I, it's 4.5 hours, 180 days.

[AimeeM]

I don't know if the laws were changed or anything, but HSLDA's site also says that for Option I, it's 4.5 hours, 180 days.

We're option 3.

When I tried to access HSLDA the other day, it wanted me to subscribe to their mailing list first, so I haven't checked their laws in a while.

[Ellie]

We're option 3.

When I tried to access HSLDA the other day, it wanted me to subscribe to their mailing list first, so I haven't checked their laws in a while.

 

You don't "subscribe to their mailing list." It surprised me the first time I was asked to provide my name and whatnot, but now it doesn't bother me. Of course, I am a big fan of HSLDA, and I know that there are no dastardly ulterior motives behind this particular request, so there you go. :-)

[AimeeM]

You don't "subscribe to their mailing list." It surprised me the first time I was asked to provide my name and whatnot, but now it doesn't bother me. Of course, I am a big fan of HSLDA, and I know that there are no dastardly ulterior motives behind this particular request, so there you go. :-)

Lol. I'm just not a huge fan of tons of e-mails. I did, just now, give my information though so I could access it. I'm not sure if it changed somewhat recently, or if I was looking at the wrong thing when I did - but if I did look at the wrong thing, most other homeschoolers did as well, because we're all under the impression that homeschooling someone else's child is illegal here. *chuckle*

[Ellie]

Lol. I'm just not a huge fan of tons of e-mails. I did, just now, give my information though so I could access it. I'm not sure if it changed somewhat recently, or if I was looking at the wrong thing when I did - but if I did look at the wrong thing, most other homeschoolers did as well, because we're all under the impression that homeschooling someone else's child is illegal here. *chuckle*

 

I think the legality of homeschooling someone else's child might fall under the same category as the legality of driving while barefooted, lol. I've also had a gazillion conversations with people in California who are sure beyond sure that they are required to have 180 days of attendance, even though not one of them can show me where the law says that (it doesn't. It's an urban legend.)

 

In any case, the OP really wouldn't be homeschooling someone else's child. She and the other parent would be teaching each other's children in a co-operative setting. We homeschoolers tend to get hung up on stuff like this. :D

[AimeeM]

I think the legality of homeschooling someone else's child might fall under the same category as the legality of driving while barefooted, lol. I've also had a gazillion conversations with people in California who are sure beyond sure that they are required to have 180 days of attendance, even though not one of them can show me where the law says that (it doesn't. It's an urban legend.)

 

In any case, the OP really wouldn't be homeschooling someone else's child. She and the other parent would be teaching each other's children in a co-operative setting. We homeschoolers tend to get hung up on stuff like this. :D

I guess it sounded like, in the initial post, that SHE would be doing everything but *some* religion (because she then talked about wanting to access the child's math and reading skills, I believe?). To me that sounds pretty one sided, but yes - homeschoolers tend to get hung up on things, lol.

[airforcefamily]

If we teach our kids it's ok to break stupid rules, what's the point of having rules? What if the rule has a consequence that you just haven't thought of (but past legislatures did and made a rule because of it)?

 

I prefer to teach my kids that if a law is stupid, work to get the law changed! For example, homebirth with a trained attendant is illegal in my state, though going unassisted is perfectly legal! THAT is stupid. I can birth with no one around and be just fine, but if someone knowledgeable and trained and certified in attending a homebirth is in the room (someone trained to deal with complications!), they can be arrested. That is ridiculous. I wanted a homebirth, but I did not have one. I drove 15 minutes across the state line and birthed in a state that allows midwives, as I did want a trained attendant with me. Problem solved. Meanwhile, I work with the group that is trying to change the law, so that in the future, moms wanting a homebirth with a midwife won't have to cross the state line.

 

I don't believe in breaking laws just because they're stupid. If they are stupid, make it known to the world that they're stupid and need to be changed.

I see what you're saying but it's not always as simple as 'drive 15 minutes, solve your problem, and get to do what you want legally'. What if you had to drive five hours away and live in a hotel for a few weeks before the birth? Would you still have done it or would you have considered options that are expressly or borderline illegal? What if you couldn't make the trip because of finances, childcare, or other limitations?

 

I know I've broken rules when needed and told my kids it's ok. For example, when taking one of the kids to the hospital I drove way faster than the speed limit. Another time I've used the ten items or less self checkout lane with eleven items, not a law but still a rule.

 

In response to the op, I wouldn't be too concerned with it unless that sort of setup is specifically prohibited. Not sure I would be concerned about the kids picking up rule breaking behavior, will either family really be discussing the law and how the arrangement maybe potentially line up with the law in front of the kids? i would be more concerned with it not working well (especially with a new homeschooler) and having to back out of it and reteach the beginning of the year to your own kids. In your shoes I would do it for maybe one or two non core subjects and see how it goes.

[Ellie]

I guess it sounded like, in the initial post, that SHE would be doing everything but *some* religion (because she then talked about wanting to access the child's math and reading skills, I believe?).

 

You could be right. I went back and read it again. It was a little confusing. :-) It actually sounds more as if she would be the primary teacher in a small private school, in which case she would still not be *homeschooling* someone else's children.

[nova mama]

Hi Rina,

 

I have three school-aged kids and my 3 yo will be doing preschool this year.  The group subjects--science, history, etc.--are the most challenging for us because I am constantly having to tell them to stop talking to each other, looking at each other :laugh:, etc.  Maybe you already have a good handle on this with your boys, but adding two more kids from another family could certainly change that.  Will the other mom stay around?

 

We have done co-ops that meet once/week for up to three subjects, and at least one other mom is there to help.  I have loved our co-ops for their fellowship for mom and kids as well as the academics.  But I know I would find it difficult to do the same co-op multiple times a week, or every day it seems like?  That's just me!  I would also be hesitant about being responsible for another child's reading and math instruction.  These are just too important.

 

If you have become close, have the same values and academic goals, and go into it talking about expectations of behavior, rigor, etc., I suppose it could work.  And I hope you do work out something great for both of you.

[BatmansWife]

I've been following this the last few days and I'm wondering what, if anything, you've decided yet. 

 

Here's my opinion (take it or leave it).  If it were ME....this would be a total nightmare.  As some others have said, it does seem one-sided...that you are doing most of the teaching.  Maybe you could explain that if that's not the case.  Some potential problems I see are that the time you need to devote to schooling your own kids is now being split by teaching other children too.  I can't help but think of the nature class we went to earlier this week.  One project was tracing hands, cutting them out, and making turkey headbands.  I'm sitting there helping my daughter.  The child next to her keeps saying to me, "Help me!  Help me!  Can you help me?!"  I didn't want to be rude...but I was thinking..."um, I'm helping my own daughter.  Where's your mom...ask her".  No, I didn't say that.  But my point is that I can see you helping the neighbor with reading or math or whatever and your child comes to you asking for help right then and you'll have to say, "not now...I'm helping her".  It's just something to think about.  Also, if the neighbor children every have any trouble in anything, or don't do well on any possible tests/assessments somewhere down the line...is it going to fall on you that you didn't teach them what they should know (not that it would by your fault...but it might look like it)?  It would be a lot of responsibility.  It is a lot for you to think about...and if you do it and it works for you, then that's great.  I just know I personally couldn't do it.  What I *would* do though is get together with them weekly for an Art class, or a field trip, or the religious studies that you talked about. 

 

 

 

It does sound a bit one-sided. Why can't this mom teach her own kids? It is likely to make teaching your own kids more difficult.

 

:iagree:

[Walking-Iris]

I wouldn't take on full responsibility for homeschooling any of the subjects to other children. But I would be willing to do enrichment/supplement style get togethers, or to tutor, host book clubs etc. 

 

But being the sole  teacher for another family and my own? It would just be too much me. 

 

 

[boscopup]

I see what you're saying but it's not always as simple as 'drive 15 minutes, solve your problem, and get to do what you want legally'. or would you have considered options that are expressly or borderline illegal?

 

If I couldn't have driven 15 minutes and been legal, I likely would have just used the hospital. The life and health of my baby wouldn't be compromised, and I have endured a hospital birth before. It wasn't nearly as nice as delivering in a hot tub, but it wasn't the end of the world either.

 

 

In the case of driving a child to the hospital... If it is so life threatening that going the speed limit would put the child at risk, and an ambulance with EMTs couldn't arrive as fast as me driving to the hospital, I might go a little faster, but since speeding is a major cause of accident deaths, I wouldn't want to go much over the speed limit without lights and sirens, as I could end up killing my child instead of helping. In my area, outside the city, a volunteer EMT can get to me faster than I can get my child to the pediatric ER that is set up to handle kids. And if it's THAT life threatening, the EMT is probably my best bet.

[mitzvahmommy]

Whew! I didn't check in for a couple of days and this thread took on a life of its own!  I am not in NY, btw.  Since I first posted the question, the situation seems to be clarified somewhat.  She is a former classroom teacher, and has definitely been imagining "school at home" with recess, and with us "co-teaching" classes.  Not how we homeschool.  In the end I think I will teach her daughters science (I LOVE teaching science) and they will tag along with us for other subjects until she feels she has her feet under her, and then we will just support each other.  I love my kids too much to take away their joyful homeschooling experience and lock them into a scheduled, structured environment for which they are not ready.