crash course on Asperger's

[dm379]

Dd's friend (12) is spending the next few days with us and her mom told dh last night that she has Asperger's. Is there anything I should know? Do I need to worry about over stimulating her? We have a ton of activities planned so now I'm rethinking if she's a huge introvert like me. The mom said she won't speak up if she's having a problem with something. For example, she gets car sick but won't let us know if she has to throw up. I don't want to bother her with questions every 5 minutes but obviously I don't want her to be miserable the whole time. According to dh, the mom didn't seem a bit worried.

[amo_mea_filiis.]

My aspie (dd) is all about activity, but ds gets over stimulated and he gets car sick. I got him a dollar store bucket and a package of garbage bags. He keeps the bucket between his feet on the floor.

 

I'd watch for some attitude that could be a sign she's had too much. Maybe getting really hyper or lethargic. My dd will get loud and touchy feely if we've had an extremely long day. Ds will get snotty and everything starts to frustrate him.

[Night Elf]

It presents differently in different individuals so it's hard to suggest looking for certain things. She might have a specific type of food she likes, or a routine of when she eats. She might need some quiet time to recharge if she's an introvert, or time to socialize if she's an extrovert. You'll have to ask her directly if she's interested in all of those activities. However, if you already have them planned, she might feel fine about going along because they're set activities for the family. She might have a particular way of going to sleep, i.e a certain time, reading or no reading, night light or dark. She might just be easy going and you'll have no problems. My son would go with the flow, even he is doing things that aren't his first choice to do.

[Guest submarines]

I think the mom told you because she didn't want her DD to be judged if she does something mildly "odd." Any 12 year old might do something odd, but the mom is probably overly sensitive. If the mom didn't seem concerned, I don't think there's anything you should do differently at all, just be your usual understanding and respectful self. :-)

[dm379]

The mom said she probably won't talk to us unless we ask her a direct question so I assumed she was an introvert. I just don't want her to be upset or hurt and us not know.

[Greenmama2]

The mother probably told you that because she doesn't want you to get offended if the girl doesn't get chatty with you. I was the same (still am to an extent) and plenty of adults that didn't know me well got extremely offended (some even really angry) just because I wasn't into small talk.

[*Lulu*]

Considering all the mom told you, I would assume she would also have clued you in if there was anything more that could be an issue.

[Blueridge]

Since this thread is a *crash course*...how does one know if their child has Asperger's? Signs...symptoms...habits...or a professional diagnosis? Thanks!

[*Lulu*]

Since this thread is a *crash course*...how does one know if their child has Asperger's? Signs...symptoms...habits...or a professional diagnosis? Thanks!

For us we had noticed things were not right from age 5. Every year it seemed like the gap between the behavior of our child and the behavior of other children of the same age widened.

 

It took us YEARS to get help because our child's most severe symptoms only manifest under serious stress or at home where he is most comfortable expressing himself. We started treatment for SPD symptoms and both fine and gross motor deficits long before we took the final step of a formal evaluation.

[Crimson Wife]

Since this thread is a *crash course*...how does one know if their child has Asperger's? Signs...symptoms...habits...or a professional diagnosis? Thanks!

Here are some good articles on the topic:

http://www.aspergersyndrome.org/Articles/What-is-Asperger-s-Syndrome-.aspx

http://www.aspergersyndrome.org/Articles/Asperger-Syndrome.aspx

http://www.webmd.com/brain/autism/tc/aspergers-syndrome-symptoms

 

Tony Attwood wrote an excellent book on AS. My little one actually has high-functioning autism rather than Asperger's, but the developmental pediatrician said that the main difference between HFA and AS is childhood speech & language delay. The diagnostic criteria for AS specifically rules out any speech/language delay, which is why she gave my DD the HFA label.

 

If you are concerned about the possibility of AS, I would recommend getting an evaluation by a pediatric neurologist, pediatric psychiatrist, or developmental pediatrician. A neuropsychology evaluation can also be really helpful, but typically you would need a M.D.'s referral in order for your insurance to pick up some of the costs for that.

[Dandelion]

I agree with previous posters - the mom would have let you know if there were special concerns.  Since she doesn't appear concerned, I would just take it as an FYI.  

 

Things that are generally helpful for kids on the spectrum:  knowing the schedule/plans for the day; downtime/breaks between activities; ample notice of upcoming transitions (e.g. give them 15-20 min. notice for an upcoming transition - don't surprise them 1 min. before you have to leave); and avoiding excessively loud/crowded places or at least having a way to get away from the noise/crowd for short breaks.  If you see your DD's friend start to become agitated or frustrated, find a way to give her space in a quiet area.  Overstimulation (from people, activities, noise, etc.) is quite common.

 

 

Since this thread is a *crash course*...how does one know if their child has Asperger's? Signs...symptoms...habits...or a professional diagnosis? Thanks!

 

As others have said, the spectrum is broad.  Kids with Asperger's are a varied bunch.  I have yet to meet another child with Asperger's whose AS characteristics are exactly like those of my DS.  Similarities, yes.  The main characteristic (which is required for a diagnosis) is significant trouble with social situations.

 

Something to note is that the APA revised the diagnostic criteria for autism spectrum disorders in May (with the release of the DSM-5), so Asperger's Syndrome as a distinct diagnosis no longer exists.  Everything has now been combined under the blanket diagnosis of "autism spectrum disorder".  It will take awhile for this change to take hold in the medical community (someone told me a few weeks ago that her child was just diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome - even though the diagnosis was given after Asperger's had officially been dropped by the APA). And of course, kids and adults already diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome aren't just going to drop that term just because the APA has. 

 

If you're considering getting a diagnosis, be sure that the diagnosing physician notes the diagnosis as "autism spectrum disorder" to avoid any insurance coverage issues.  How this change will affect insurance coverage hasn't been ironed out yet, but insurance companies can technically reject coverage if your child has a diagnosis that no longer officially exists. 

 

Here's a good list of other more common characteristics (from an article on WebMD).  Kids with Asperger's may:

 

• Not pick up on social cues and may lack inborn social skills, such as being able to read others' body language, start or maintain a conversation, and take turns talking.
• Dislike any changes in routines.
• Appear to lack empathy.
• Be unable to recognize subtle differences in speech tone, pitch, and accent that alter the meaning of others' speech. So your child may not understand a joke or may take a sarcastic comment literally. And his or her speech may be flat and hard to understand because it lacks tone, pitch, and accent.
• Have a formal style of speaking that is advanced for his or her age. For example, the child may use the word "beckon" instead of "call" or the word "return" instead of "come back."
• Avoid eye contact or stare at others.
• Have unusual facial expressions or postures.
• Be preoccupied with only one or few interests, which he or she may be very knowledgeable about. Many children with Asperger's syndrome are overly interested in parts of a whole or in unusual activities, such as designing houses, drawing highly detailed scenes, or studying astronomy. They may show an unusual interest in certain topics such as snakes, names of stars, or dinosaurs.
• Talk a lot, usually about a favorite subject. One-sided conversations are common. Internal thoughts are often verbalized.
• Have delayed motor development. Your child may be late in learning to use a fork or spoon, ride a bike, or catch a ball. He or she may have an awkward walk. Handwriting is often poor.
• Have heightened sensitivity and become overstimulated by loud noises, lights, or strong tastes or textures. For more information about these symptoms, see sensory processing disorder.

 

[ktgrok]

Just don't be offended if the kid seems "rude", and remember to be literal in your speech, very specific.

[Murmer]

I tend to "warn" people when my daughter is not acting the way others expect her too...like today a dad at day camp was talking to my daughter and she was looking down and mumbling answers (she actually answered which was great!) but it is not typical and I didn't want him to think she was being rude.  Also if I know there will be a need to interact socially I will inform people so they understand why my dd may cover her face with her shirt or stay on the fringes of activity.  Its not that I am worried about her and feel things need to be done a certain way just a way to let other understand quickly that my child may or may not respond the typical way.  

 

As for diagnosis...for us we knew my dd was different...she threw intense violent long lasting temper tantrums as a toddler.  She didn't point and wasn't saying 2 words at 2.  She rubs elbows and sucks her tongue for comfort.  She didn't look people in the eye.  She was hyperactive especially in new and unusual situations.  She NEVER played with toys (still doesn't).  But it was hard to pinpoint exactly what was different until I had a son who is NT and he was socially engaging at young age and she still did not.  We basically kept pushing to get her evaluated until we finally got to see the Autism dr. and he diagnosed her with High Functioning Autism.  

[AngieW in Texas]

 

Not pick up on social cues and may lack inborn social skills, such as being able to read others' body language, start or maintain a conversation, and take turns talking.  my 17yo and my 20yo

 

• Dislike any changes in routines.  my 17yo
• Appear to lack empathy. my 20yo
• Be unable to recognize subtle differences in speech tone, pitch, and accent that alter the meaning of others' speech. So your child may not understand a joke or may take a sarcastic comment literally. And his or her speech may be flat and hard to understand because it lacks tone, pitch, and accent.  my 17yo and sometimes my 20yo
• Have a formal style of speaking that is advanced for his or her age. For example, the child may use the word "beckon" instead of "call" or the word "return" instead of "come back."  neither
• Avoid eye contact or stare at others.  17yo stares sometimes
• Have unusual facial expressions or postures.  17yo 
• Be preoccupied with only one or few interests, which he or she may be very knowledgeable about. Many children with Asperger's syndrome are overly interested in parts of a whole or in unusual activities, such as designing houses, drawing highly detailed scenes, or studying astronomy. They may show an unusual interest in certain topics such as snakes, names of stars, or dinosaurs.  17yo and 20yo
• Talk a lot, usually about a favorite subject. One-sided conversations are common. Internal thoughts are often verbalized.  17yo and especially 20yo
• Have delayed motor development. Your child may be late in learning to use a fork or spoon, ride a bike, or catch a ball. He or she may have an awkward walk. Handwriting is often poor.  17yo very much - she actually can still barely manage to tie a knot and can't tie a bow at all and has lots of trouble with buttons and zippers - she only wears clothes with elastic waistbands or with drawstrings that I have put cordstops on
• Have heightened sensitivity and become overstimulated by loud noises, lights, or strong tastes or textures. For more information about these symptoms, see sensory processing disorder.  17yo - as a small child, she was the one in fetal position in the corner of the room with her eyes closed and her hands over her ears screaming for everybody to be quiet

 

 

My 17yo and my 20yo are both diagnosed with Asperger's. I knew something was up with the 17yo from infancy. She looked like full-blown autistic at 2yo, but had some language by 3yo and at 5yo was considered Aspie although she didn't get a formal diagnosis until 13yo.

 

We thought the 20yo was just very very very ADD (formally diagnosed at 11yo), but suspected Asperger's by the time she was 15yo and she was formally diagnosed with Asperger's at 18yo and then with OCD at 19yo.

[Blueridge]

This was extremely helpful! Thank you all!