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Ugh - I've just learned that "sardines" can be a very mean game...


Susan in TN
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My two middle daughters are playing with a couple of neighbor girls at our house and 3 of them were playing in the tent out back when I saw my 10yo wandering around. Turns out they had decided to play "sardines" and 10yo was to hide first. Only it turns out that it was simply a convenient way to ditch her. My 6yo admitted that they weren't planning to find her and I explained to her how mean that was - which from the guilty look on her face I think she understood. I'm just sick for 10yodd - I was that girl at her age, too. :(

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I would sit down and talk to all the girls. That would not be allowed at my house. It might mean that the neighbor girls don't want to come over any more but if that is how they are going to play, then well, so be it.

 

:iagree: This kind of behavior needs to be addressed in strong terms, and there needs to be consequences.

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I agree with Jean's no nonsense approach to the problem. By the way, we've never had a mean game of sardines. It's always been one of my boys favorite games!

 

I would sit down and talk to all the girls. That would not be allowed at my house. It might mean that the neighbor girls don't want to come over any more but if that is how they are going to play, then well, so be it.

 

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You're right, Jean. I did need to say something but at the time I was so upset I wasn't sure I could express correctly what needed to be said, except to tell them they weren't to play that game any more and that dd would be joining them in the tent. They did manage to move on to something else, but then they got a snack and the girls started getting rude again so I just sent them home. I'm so bad at handling these situations.

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You're right, Jean. I did need to say something but at the time I was so upset I wasn't sure I could express correctly what needed to be said, except to tell them they weren't to play that game any more and that dd would be joining them in the tent. They did manage to move on to something else, but then they got a snack and the girls started getting rude again so I just sent them home. I'm so bad at handling these situations.

 

Actually, it sounds like you were very good at handling the situation. You told them to stop and got them to actually do it! You changed the dynamics of the playdate for awhile but when the girls crossed the boundary again, you enforced it by sending them home. Perfect!

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