How long to adapt to public school?

[BlueTaelon]

Due to life circumstances I put the kids in the local B&M public school. The school is tiny, my 6th grader is in a class with 16 other kids and thats a larger class at the school. Its been 5 weeks and its all been mostly review for her yet she's got crappy grades, mostly C's and a D+ in math which is her best subject! I had a conference with the math teacher and she says dd12 shows understanding in class and is attentive, she just rushes through her work and is sloppy and doesn't follow directions on doing it. I thought maybe dd wasn't understanding the assignments and the teacher disagreed. I sat down with dd and did yesterdays assignment with her and I was right, she was clueless what the teacher wanted/expected. I only knew because the teacher explained the assignment to me, dd did not understand any of it and I had to teach the material (ratios 3 ways). dd has auditory processing issues which make it difficult to learn in a classroom and remembering homework to both bring everything home and remember to turn it in is difficult for her. The teachers are all telling me she's improving as she gets the hang of life in school and is doing ok. Getting C,D,F grades is NOT OK! (She is an A/B student at home) There are 3 weeks left of school so she will finish out the year, she seems happy with school. (our previous experiences in larger school was a total disaster!)

 

How long do you think it takes to adjust to public school when you've been HS'd pretty much your whole life? I'm not getting cooperation from the teachers to find out whats being covered and what her assignments are to make sure she's understanding and provide the visuals she needs (she's on the extreme end of being a visual spatial learner and gets virtually nothing from auditory instruction) and to make sure her homework gets done. She's used to everything being laid out for her with things like K12/Teaching Textbooks ect so having to be organized is a new thing for her and providing an organizer has proved pretty useless.

 

I do not need her failing because of this, when do you decide enough is enough?

[Joker]

My oldest is just finishing up her second year of middle school ps. Academically, it took her the first full nine weeks to catch on to things she hasn't had to here at home. Homework, following directions (really just listening), and learning from someone other than me just took some time. She's been a straight A student since the second nine week period through today.

 

I will also say it was easier for us to help her in regards to homework because it is all listed online. So, when we found out she was struggling there we just double checked for her until she got the hang of it. We now have very little to do with any of it unless she needs help.

[VinNY]

My dtr has an IEP at the public school and so the teachers are aware of her APD and other issues. She is currently getting services there and works with a special ed teacher. Are they aware of her dx?

[Word Nerd]

It depends on the child. My DD entered PS in the middle of 3rd grade. She made the transition pretty easily, but I had to catch her up on cursive, as I hadn't yet covered it at home. The school uses Shurley English, and it was very different from how we had covered the subject while homeschooling. She also had to adjust to a classroom environment and having so much of her day structured, but that didn't take long according to her teacher.

[BlueTaelon]

They are aware but are saying shes not having problems. I just dont know where the line is between giving her time and saying this is not working.

 

I wish the homework assignments were online:-(

 

[Ali in OR]

There is being "aware" and there is being required to do things in a certain way that is appropriate for your daughter's diagnosis. If you get an IEP in place, you can put in there that she needs assignments written down, needs instructions in writing, whatever else is necessary to help her learn to her potential. If she's back in school in fall, I would do what I can now to get the helps in place for her.

 

There is also a jump in math difficulty that is coming soon or has already hit if your daughter is in pre-algebra. It becomes essential that kids learn to show work, be systematic, etc. My dd has no learning difficulties and I'm a math teacher and it was still quite a jump this year. She wants to do everything in her head and has had to work hard on learning how to show her steps and her thinking systematically. It's going pretty well now, but fall semester was hard.

[Laura Corin]

The organisational side of things was hard for Hobbes. He still loses things, two years later (he's buying a new school jumper out of his own money before next winter). He had problems remembering about homework at the beginning - the teachers were reasonably sympathetic.

 

It's hard to say when he adapted. Things got better slowly. Over quite some months, nay years.

 

Laura

[Heather in Neverland]

The organisational side of things was hard for Hobbes. He still loses things, two years later (he's buying a new school jumper out of his own money before next winter). He had problems remembering about homework at the beginning - the teachers were reasonably sympathetic.

 

It's hard to say when he adapted. Things got better slowly. Over quite some months, nay years.

 

Laura

 

Yep. My oldest went to school for the first time in grade 6. It was a lot of little things. Like remembering to raise his hand before he spoke, asking permission to go to the bathroom, remembering due dates, following specific instructions for formatting assignments, not losing papers and pencils and his backpack, etc.

 

Four years later he does much better but not great.

[bettyandbob]

If your child has special needs you need to provide whatever documentation you and request an evaluation. It sounds like your dd needs a 504 plan for accommodations at least, if not an IEP. An individualized education plan (IEP) provides interventions as well as accommodations. If your child needs the extra help you describe and you don't have support required by law through an IEP or 504, your child won't really adjust. She will get used to feeling like she is always behind and may give up trying.

[justasque]

If she is struggling, you need to be in weekly, if not daily, contact with the teachers.

 

You need to help her with the organizational part - many middle schoolers need this help whether or not they've been in school previously. Every day after school, you need to ask about each subject - is there homework? Did she write it in her planner? What is it? Take a look at what she has written, give her pointers as to what kinds of things she needs to write. Using the planner is a *key* skill - it's critical to her success. It may take quite some time to develop this skill, so be patient. Ask - does she have any tests or quizzes coming up?

 

Together, make a plan for the evening to tackle the homework. Also, make a tentative plan for the next few days. Revise any previous plans when new assignments arise. This may take a significant chunk of your evening - plan for it. Gradually take a step back and allow your dd to take the lead on this. Be careful when scheduling dentist visits, haircuts, and so on, to avoid creating conflicts with homework.

 

If your dd does not understand the homework, she needs to begin to contact the teacher about it. Emailing the teacher in the evening may or may not produce a response in time, but it does make the teacher aware of her questions and her struggle. Find out how/when she can get extra help from the teachers. Before school? After school? Special times during the school day? Encourage her to use this time to have the teachers go over test questions she got wrong, to help her with concepts she doesn't understand, etc. Help her gradually transition from going to you for help first, to going to the teacher for help first.

 

Talk to the teachers periodically so you have an understanding of their plans for the class. For example, if they do a test at the end of every chapter, you can get a feel for when a test might be coming, and counsel your dd accordingly.

 

If bringing home the right books for the homework is an issue, you may consider getting a copy of each text to keep at home.

 

Look over her homework. Give her some guidance about it. Again, you can gradually back off as she is more successful, but in the beginning, she may need your help to get the hang of understanding the teacher's expectations, etc.

 

Ask each evening how things went in each class. Ask about previous tests and assignments - how did she do on them? What did she miss? Does she understand what she missed?

 

In math, she is probably losing points for 1) not showing her work, and 2) dropping negatives, copying the problem wrong, etc. In middle school, it is no longer good enough to simply understand the concept, or to be able to get the right answer any which way. She needs to be able to lay out her work in a logical, written progression, and get the details right. If you have a good math teacher, they will be pretty harsh with their grading on this, so as to drive the point home and give clear feedback on what is required. Depending on the math program you've been using, she may be getting *very* different kinds of work. (For example, if she's been doing something like ABeka, she will have a very steep learning curve to adapt to the more complex conceptual work often expected by public school math texts.) Go over her tests/quizzes, and look at every lost point with her. Figure out whether it is because of a conceptual gap, a "dropped a negative" type issue, etc. Consider the trends - some kids need to double-check every negative, every time - if that the case, help her develop that habit.

 

In middle school, organization is the *key* thing the students need to learn. There's a huge difference between getting a bad grade because the student didn't understand the material, vs. the student didn't *do* the work, vs. the work wasn't turned in on time because it was left at home, etc. The bad grades are incentive for you and the student to figure out where the problem lies, and get up to snuff on it before high school, where the grades "count" in a way that middle school grades don't. Getting a bad grade on an essay requires a different response if it is because the rubric wasn't followed, vs. not including references/bibliography, vs. bad spelling and grammar due to lack of editing, vs. writing a great paper bur turning it in 3 days late. Figure out what message each lost point is meant to send, and target your efforts accordingly.

 

Help her to organize her materials. Have her pack up her things each evening as she finishes each subject. Help her think through the next day, and perhaps even make a list in her planner of things she needs to turn in. Be sure she has the supplies to help her be organized - for example, a folder for each class, with a pocket for things to be handed in, and a pocket for things that have been returned. Help her keep her things tidy at home and in her backpack and various folders and binders.

 

The ultimate goal is to help your dd learn these "school skills", and gradually back away as she takes responsibility on her own. Some kids take longer than others to learn these things. Five weeks is a very short time for some; others take to it naturally.

 

As PP's have mentioned, if you feel she has special needs or is struggling more than most, you should ask for an evaluation so that she can have the appropriate label/diagnosis, so she can get support services accordingly.

 

It's not unusual for *any* student to have bad grades in the first term of middle school. The key is to help your child learn *why* they are getting these grades - where are they losing the points - and develop coping strategies and skills to improve.

[2squared]

My kids transitioned to public school about 1.5 months ago. My Ker had about 2 days before he was good to go. My 3rd grader had a tough first week. By the 2nd week he was much, much better, and by the end of the first month, he had been fully assimilated.

 

My 5th grader had a very rough transition. It took her over a month before she stopped crying every day after school. We put her in a couple weeks before standardized testing, and those were probably the worst weeks to pick. The teachers were stressed and they were throwing everything at the kids hoping it all would stick. They were reviewing at lightning speed and taking all kinds of pretests. Oh, my, was it stressful. My dd had a lot of trouble figuring out the administrative stuff; so much trouble that she really couldn't even get to the mental brain power of actually doing the work. Some of her grades really made me flinch, and she didn't perform at her potential when they gave her placement tests. I stayed in frequent contact with her teachers, and I went over everything with her that she brought home. We reviewed all her graded papers and her homework. Her math teacher gave me some of the materials to go over with her before they covered it in school. We had a lot of tears, a lot of stress, and a lot of homework time in the evenings. She's at the point now, though, where I hardly have to give her pre-help anymore. I still review all homework before it goes back to school, and we still talk about her daily schedule and how she's going to get her work done before it's due. I help her decide if she's going to do it before school, during study hall, etc. I even put notes in her planner to remind her of various things.

 

Our situation is different than yours in that my dd's mid-term grades were all A's with one B. I was floored, though, that she wasn't failing math. She cried about math class every single day. Her teacher wasn't/isn't interested in teaching my daughter individually. She expects my daughter to assimilate and work just like the other kids. This breaks my heart since we spent so much time working on techniques and understanding that my dd is already losing. It was/is also hard for my dd. She still struggles but she is learning to play the public school game.

 

One last thing - my dd came home mentally exhausted. Homework was nearly impossible in the evenings b/c she just couldn't handle anything else. I found mornings before school to be a better - although still not great - time for reviewing and teaching.

 

From my experience, the younger they are when they make the transition, the easier the transition.

[BlueTaelon]

If she is struggling, you need to be in weekly, if not daily, contact with the teachers.

 

I was in daily the first 3 weeks (dd kept forgetting books and such in her locker) and they are less then helpful and seemed pretty irritated when I tried finding out whats being covered in class and about homework:( I backed off for a week and when things didn't improve I had a conference with the teachers although the math teacher took a week to call me back to discuss issues. They don't see a problem. An A student getting failing grades is a problem to me.

 

You need to help her with the organizational part - many middle schoolers need this help whether or not they've been in school previously. Every day after school, you need to ask about each subject - is there homework? Did she write it in her planner? What is it? Take a look at what she has written, give her pointers as to what kinds of things she needs to write. Using the planner is a *key* skill - it's critical to her success. It may take quite some time to develop this skill, so be patient. Ask - does she have any tests or quizzes coming up?

 

I do and everyday I get the same answer "I don't know" or "I don't remember" and often she tells me she has no homework. Pretty much the only time she has homework is if I already know of the assignment because a teacher told me. In her planner she just writes things like "boring", "no homework", "sang a song" I've told her to write down the pages or chapter covered but she doesn't. I ask about tests and quizzes daily but get told they don't have them or the test is on Monday yet when I ask how she thinks she did on Monday she says they didn't take it. Twice she has brought home an insane amount of worksheets done in class with poor grades and I can see she is not following directions and why she's having problems. I never use worksheets with her, it just leads to frustration. Its baffling how they can give the kids so many!

 

 

Together, make a plan for the evening to tackle the homework. Also, make a tentative plan for the next few days. Revise any previous plans when new assignments arise. This may take a significant chunk of your evening - plan for it. Gradually take a step back and allow your dd to take the lead on this. Be careful when scheduling dentist visits, haircuts, and so on, to avoid creating conflicts with homework.

 

 

Thats part of the problem, she attends the after school program where they get tutoring and time to finish homework. I thought it would be a great idea since most of her classmates attended and if she couldn't remember the assignment they were there to remind her, if she forgot a book her locker was down the hall. Turns out she was telling them I told her to wait until she got home and she would tell me she finished it at school. I teacher finally called me to clarify last week. The program ended Thursday but up until that point by the time they got home it was literally dinner, bath and then bedtime. No time for homework or family time beyond dinner.

 

 

If your dd does not understand the homework, she needs to begin to contact the teacher about it. Emailing the teacher in the evening may or may not produce a response in time, but it does make the teacher aware of her questions and her struggle. Find out how/when she can get extra help from the teachers. Before school? After school? Special times during the school day? Encourage her to use this time to have the teachers go over test questions she got wrong, to help her with concepts she doesn't understand, etc. Help her gradually transition from going to you for help first, to going to the teacher for help first.

 

She says they don't have time to ask since they have to move quickly to the next class and when she's tried the teacher was to busy. Its frustrating, she can't see the board (needs new glasses and has an appt set up) and when she told the teacher she was told "not right now!" when she wanted to move to a front seat. The teacher told me the assignment was posted on the board and dd could go see it after class. huh?! Only 1 teacher has been helpful and dd is not having a problem in her class. We didn't have internet at home until a few days ago so emailing has not been possible.

 

 

Talk to the teachers periodically so you have an understanding of their plans for the class. For example, if they do a test at the end of every chapter, you can get a feel for when a test might be coming, and counsel your dd accordingly.

 

I tried that along with asking for what they planned on covering each week (just a general like chapter 5 or fractions or whatever) so I could help dd at home and make sure she was understanding and I was told they don't really use planners because it changes day to day what they teach and they often don't know until that day. :confused1:

 

If bringing home the right books for the homework is an issue, you may consider getting a copy of each text to keep at home.

 

I tried that and was told they didn't have extra's. With only a few weeks left of the year I can't afford to pay for copies of the books and they would have arrived with only a month left of school or less.

 

 

 

Look over her homework. Give her some guidance about it. Again, you can gradually back off as she is more successful, but in the beginning, she may need your help to get the hang of understanding the teacher's expectations, etc.

 

Ask each evening how things went in each class. Ask about previous tests and assignments - how did she do on them? What did she miss? Does she understand what she missed?

 

In math, she is probably losing points for 1) not showing her work, and 2) dropping negatives, copying the problem wrong, etc. In middle school, it is no longer good enough to simply understand the concept, or to be able to get the right answer any which way. She needs to be able to lay out her work in a logical, written progression, and get the details right. If you have a good math teacher, they will be pretty harsh with their grading on this, so as to drive the point home and give clear feedback on what is required. Depending on the math program you've been using, she may be getting *very* different kinds of work. (For example, if she's been doing something like ABeka, she will have a very steep learning curve to adapt to the more complex conceptual work often expected by public school math texts.) Go over her tests/quizzes, and look at every lost point with her. Figure out whether it is because of a conceptual gap, a "dropped a negative" type issue, etc. Consider the trends - some kids need to double-check every negative, every time - if that the case, help her develop that habit.

 

In middle school, organization is the *key* thing the students need to learn. There's a huge difference between getting a bad grade because the student didn't understand the material, vs. the student didn't *do* the work, vs. the work wasn't turned in on time because it was left at home, etc. The bad grades are incentive for you and the student to figure out where the problem lies, and get up to snuff on it before high school, where the grades "count" in a way that middle school grades don't. Getting a bad grade on an essay requires a different response if it is because the rubric wasn't followed, vs. not including references/bibliography, vs. bad spelling and grammar due to lack of editing, vs. writing a great paper bur turning it in 3 days late. Figure out what message each lost point is meant to send, and target your efforts accordingly.

 

This is another fustration point, dd has a book report due, she has never written one, yes, really. Its not something I required as we would discuss the books. I asked the teacher if she could provide dd with a sample one or something to tell her how to write one. The teachers response was "she has the rubric".She got pretty irritated when I asked for a copy of it (knowing dd probably already lost it). To me its not clear on how she wants it done, format, length ect.

 

Help her to organize her materials. Have her pack up her things each evening as she finishes each subject. Help her think through the next day, and perhaps even make a list in her planner of things she needs to turn in. Be sure she has the supplies to help her be organized - for example, a folder for each class, with a pocket for things to be handed in, and a pocket for things that have been returned. Help her keep her things tidy at home and in her backpack and various folders and binders.

 

The ultimate goal is to help your dd learn these "school skills", and gradually back away as she takes responsibility on her own. Some kids take longer than others to learn these things. Five weeks is a very short time for some; others take to it naturally.

 

I have no experience in this area so I wasn't sure what was a reasonable adjustment time.

 

As PP's have mentioned, if you feel she has special needs or is struggling more than most, you should ask for an evaluation so that she can have the appropriate label/diagnosis, so she can get support services accordingly.

 

It's not unusual for *any* student to have bad grades in the first term of middle school. The key is to help your child learn *why* they are getting these grades - where are they losing the points - and develop coping strategies and skills to improve.