m0mmaBuck Posted April 14, 2013 Share Posted April 14, 2013 Does anyone else ever feel like this? I have a huge wanderlust. The happiest I have ever been was my mid-20's. Single. No responsibilities beyond myself. Worked a contract job where I got to move (not just to a different job but to a different state) every 3 months. Everything I owned fit in my suitcases. Now I'm married. 3 kids. Morgage. 2 dogs. Homeschooling. Part-time job out of the house. Own a business on the side. Boy Scout leader. American Heritage Girls leader. Commitments everywhere. Same old stuff day in and day out. Bored. Restless. Stagnating. What can I do to change how I perceive my life? I'm grateful for what I have but at the same time it is slowly sucking the life out of me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*Michelle* Posted April 14, 2013 Share Posted April 14, 2013 Maybe that it's temporary? It's a long temporary, but it's temporary. When the kids are grown, you can have that sort of lifestyle again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AK_Mom4 Posted April 14, 2013 Share Posted April 14, 2013 Sounds like a pretty normal mid-life crisis. I don't mean that it is any less of a crisis, just that you aren't alone in feeling this way! For me, I try to mix it up a bit. Drop a few commitments and pick up some new ones that sound more interesting. The last couple years, I have scaled back volunteering for Scout stuff and instead picked up volunteering in sports. Skiing in winter and softball in summer. It gets me outside enjoying the fresh air, which makes me feel better. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tap Posted April 14, 2013 Share Posted April 14, 2013 Does anyone else ever feel like this? I have a huge wanderlust. The happiest I have ever been was my mid-20's. Single. No responsibilities beyond myself. Worked a contract job where I got to move (not just to a different job but to a different state) every 3 months. Everything I owned fit in my suitcases. Now I'm married. 3 kids. Morgage. 2 dogs. Homeschooling. Part-time job out of the house. Own a business on the side. Boy Scout leader. American Heritage Girls leader. Commitments everywhere. Same old stuff day in and day out. Bored. Restless. Stagnating. What can I do to change how I perceive my life? I'm grateful for what I have but at the same time it is slowly sucking the life out of me. I know how you feel. I am a wanderer by nature. But unfortunately, my parents were too. I lived in 6 states in 6 years from 5-10 grade in school. I feel the affects me now and how I form friendships. I make sure my kids have strong roots because of it. We have stayed in our current house MUCH longer than I would have normally, just so I don't move the kids too much. But that is hard on me. LOL I find that wandering in other parts of my life help to fill that void. What can you do? Realize that this too is a stage of life and either suck it up, or change it up. I could never volunteer for organizations that have so many rules. That would really make me feel stifled in an of itself! Spending every hour of my day in a controlled environment would drive me a bit nuts! For me, I need to physically wander some in my life. Just letting go and following an unknown path. Summer break is coming so maybe it is time to start up something in your life that is more fluid. Finding trail maps and hiking to places you haven't been before. Finding out your states historic sites and making a few day trips. Going to museums in smaller communities, or larger ones in nearby cities. Take a day train trip to another city, or to visit friends (get a cab on the other end to make the trip easy). Take a community education class or a non-credit class at a local college. Learn to do something new that forces you out of a box... if you like water try.... sailing, rowing dragon boats, paddle boards, kayaking, rowing crew, swimming for exercise in fresh water (no lane constraints), etc. If you want something to include the kids or education. Start an extensive nature book and try to capture plants, photos of birds/animals, from all over your area (requires travel into other habitats). A good place for ideas is you local tourist information center, ranger station, you local department of transportation may have information on bike trails within the city, forest service has walking trail information and sites to see. Going into a trendy part of town or to a tourist town and looking around for billboards or ad displays are great ways to find activities in the community. If you don't like nature, then maybe just find out if you city has a local 'art walk'. All the areas here have a First Friday (or other day) where galleries are open and people just wander in and out. If you need/want to include the kids Geo catching is a great way to get out but keep them involved. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GinaPagnato Posted April 14, 2013 Share Posted April 14, 2013 I feel the same way sometimes! No advice, but I know for me, I just keep reminding myself that this is a temporary period of life. I need to raise my kids, launch them, and then start my adventures. Not that raising and launching kids isn't an adventure, of course. But the time that will be just for me (and dh) will come once I've completed my current mission. Right now, I need to stay focused on THIS job. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danestress Posted April 14, 2013 Share Posted April 14, 2013 I know what you mean and I have felt this. Honestly even a short change of scene helps me. I used to take the kids camping sometimes - just me and them - because being outside really helps me cope. Other than that and being very pragmatic about taking in more pets, obligations, duties, and children, I can't give you much useful. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redsquirrel Posted April 14, 2013 Share Posted April 14, 2013 All. The. Time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted April 14, 2013 Share Posted April 14, 2013 Yes, I'm separated, can't move because we're here for my aging parents, and I'm about ready to go back to work. I don't even have a working licensed car. And spring hasn't really showed up yet and I hate the cold. I really want to buy an RV and just travel with ds, but that's not happening soon. Then ds and I started watching Doctor Who and I spent about a week sobbing every night because I always wanted to travel the world. Then my cat disappeared one night. He's an indoor cat and we didn't realize he snuck out. My first thought was panic over losing the cat, my second thought was the Doctor is real and he came to take my cat and not me. Cat came home, Tardis still isn't real, and it's about ready to rain. Wanderlust here, big time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
m0mmaBuck Posted April 15, 2013 Author Share Posted April 15, 2013 Thank you for the advice and commiseration. I need to find a way to shake things up. I can't change my geographical location or my house. The only change I could make to work is more hours, not less. Sometimes that yellow bus looks awfully nice when it drives by my house twice/day.... but that isn't up for discussion again for at least a few more months. I'm committed to my Scout leadership positions at least until next school year. So it has to be something to do with my free time. I may also consider using one day/wk for "field trips" with the kids until summer vacation just so that I can manage to make it until June. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aggieamy Posted April 15, 2013 Share Posted April 15, 2013 Michelle - you need a staycation and some mom hobbies. Seriously. Look for some fun things/museums/parks to do around your city and start checking them out. It will help crave that wanderlust a bit because you'll be out exploring and seeing new things. Do you like nature? Do you enjoy running? Are you crafty? Look on meetup for a casual group that will add another layer of interest to your life and drop some of the kid committments. I realize that made me sound like the worst mother ever BUT being a good mom also means being happy. A good mom doesn't have to be the scout leader and the mom and earn money and be the teacher. You've got a lot going on. Take a bit of time to focus on you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted April 15, 2013 Share Posted April 15, 2013 Yes, go on the field trips!!! It helps a lot. Well at least for the day. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.