Catwoman Posted April 8, 2013 Share Posted April 8, 2013 OP here. If you want to debate abortion, would you please do it in a new thread? I don't want this one to get locked or deleted. :iagree: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted April 8, 2013 Share Posted April 8, 2013 Oh bull. You know exactly how it is possible. Uh oh, Martha. You took the bait. Now this may never end... :svengo: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
albeto Posted April 8, 2013 Share Posted April 8, 2013 OP here. If you want to debate abortion, would you please do it in a new thread? I don't want this one to get locked or deleted. No problem. I didn't realize this topic could potentially shut down the thread. @Martha, I'd be happy to continue and reply to your post in another thread. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted April 8, 2013 Share Posted April 8, 2013 No problem. I didn't realize this topic could potentially shut down the thread. @Martha, I'd be happy to continue and reply to your post in another thread. Yes, it could. What usually happens when certain topics (like this one) are discussed, everything starts out OK, and then people start questioning others' morals and decency, and then the name-calling starts, and then people get their feelings hurt, and someone reports the mess to the moderators, and the thread is closed. Besides, we (definitely including myself here!) weren't being fair to Hoppy by derailing her original topic. But to our credit, at least we didn't start talking about the pros and cons of shotguns. ;) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murphy101 Posted April 9, 2013 Share Posted April 9, 2013 I guess I'm not as bright as you Martha, because I literally could not follow her logic. i get it now that you've explained it. I think I skimmed past your post. I'm sorry if you felt I was insulting your intelligence in some way. I didn't intend that at all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lea_lpz Posted April 9, 2013 Share Posted April 9, 2013 OP here. If you want to debate abortion, would you please do it in a new thread? I don't want this one to get locked or deleted. I agree :) Topic isn't debating whether or not the mother is choising to keep the baby or not but if she is being pressured to marry the father of the child, I am assuming, and if getting married primarily because of the sake of the child is generally linked to divorve / unhappy marriages. To OP: Please clarify if this is the case or not, specifically, do the two young adults want to marry because of the pregnancy and feel it is the right thing to do or are the parents pressuring one or both parties? Also, is the girl being pressured to keep the baby and is the father supportive of the pregnancy or did he want to terminate the pregnancy? Had they been dating exclusively for a length of timr before the pregnancy or was it a fling or casual? If in a relationship was it going well prior to pregnancy or was it rocky, on again off again, or close to break up? I think knowing these details will ultimately make a big difference in whether they have a happy marriage or are more likely to divorce. The description is kind of vague thus far so clarity on what a shot gun wedding is and the status of the relationship could help people give more informed opinions. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
********* Posted April 9, 2013 Share Posted April 9, 2013 I think I skimmed past your post. I'm sorry if you felt I was insulting your intelligence in some way. I didn't intend that at all. No I'm sorry Martha. My post came out sounding different than I intended. You didn't insult me at all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carrie12345 Posted April 9, 2013 Share Posted April 9, 2013 I dodged that bullet. :D I was 20. I came close. I agreed to an engagement but didn't set a wedding date. Then I wised up. I am so incredibly happy that I didn't give in! I know a couple of people who are well into their lifetime of happiness with their "shotgun spouse", but it definitely would not have worked for me! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liberty Posted April 14, 2013 Share Posted April 14, 2013 Those people I know who have divorced were almost always children of divorce. I think that might be one of the biggest predictor of whether a marriage is going to last or not. In my family, both sets of grandparents were shotgun weddings and neither ended in divorce, but, also divorce in either family was very rare (can only name one aunt on my father's side and one uncle on my mother's side who ever divorced). Whether everyone was 100% happy all the time, I can't say, but they all had careers (in the case of one grandma, it was started after the kids had grown) and seemed fulfilled as people and as couples (only they knew for sure, of course). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joker Posted April 14, 2013 Share Posted April 14, 2013 Those people I know who have divorced were almost always children of divorce. I think that might be one of the biggest predictor of whether a marriage is going to last or not. I've heard this before, but it is basically the opposite in my world. Dh's parents have been very happily married more than 50 years, but dh is the only one out of his six siblings who has not been divorced. My parents were divorced, yet my siblings and I have zero divorces. I really wonder how big a predictor it really is. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deb in NZ Posted April 14, 2013 Share Posted April 14, 2013 To be honest everyone I know, including dh& I, that have been in that situation have outlasted marriages that begin with more normal courtships. Dh & I have celebrated 21 years & yesterday at dd's 21st b-day party we were talking to another couple who are soon celebrating 25 years. I have known personally many, many more marriages that haven't gone the distance. Overtime commitment is more important than compatability. Commitment means to me that you're willing to do what it takes to make it work, while compatibility means you are looking for someone who meets your expectations. JMHO, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted July 27, 2021 Share Posted July 27, 2021 Zombie thread. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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