What to do when dh loses job...

[saved1112]

Dh lost his job.

 

For those of you who have been in this situation, what do you do to pay the bills?

 

Unemployment is nearly 1/3 of what his paychecks were. It's pending approval and will take 3 weeks.

 

We have debt were paying off, and just learned about having an emergency fund, but didn't get to begin one. :(

 

Do I call our mortgage company and credit card companies?

 

Thanks for any advice you have to offer.

[clwcain]

We start by calling all creditors and altering payment arrangements.

 

I look for work, my wife tries to keep me upbeat and confident.

 

I usually call a temp agency or several before I've even left the parking lot of my former employer.

 

Then I call every friend, relation, and distant 2nd cousin's-best friend's-roommate-from-summer-camp for whom I can get a number.

 

If you're so inclined, pray. That's worked wonders for us.

 

Make sure that you get as much sleep and good food as you can. The temptation is to cut corners, especially on sleep and food.

 

Also, make sure you make time for your hubby. He needs some serious TLC, if he's anything like me. Even if the termination isn't his fault, it'll hit him right where it hurts, and lead him to question everything (existence, manliness, etc.). Remind him that you love him, you have confidence (even if you have to fake it) that he'll provide, and then...demonstrate that love and affection. Am I being clear enough?

 

Don't lose sight of the fact that job hunting is a numbers game. The more applications you submit, the more interviews you can secure, the more offers you can receive.

 

Even when industries are in the dumps, or you've been sacked for cause, people will want you if you're half-way competent. And you never, ever know where something will lead. Ever.

 

That's what I have to offer. I'll ask The Ringmistress when I see her this evening if she has anything else to offer from her experiences with my unemployment. :)

 

ETA: Keep the kids, especially your oldest, in the loop. It's very scary for them when something like this happens. My parents' reaction was to refuse to discuss such matters with me. It didn't help me feel like part of the family. We've been very open with our kids, in an age-appropriate manner, about employment and financial difficulties. FWIW

[Phred]

One thing not to do... do not, under any circumstances, use money from your house to pay credit cards. They are unsecured loans... if for any reason you can't pay them all they can do is yell about it. But if you take out a second mortgage to pay them then they can take your house if you can't make the payment.

 

I completely empathize with you. Don't call anybody yet. You might need every bit of credit you've got before this is all over so don't let them in on the fact that right now you qualify for less.

[jmgconner]

(((saved)))

 

Prioritize your bills. Make sure you pay your mortgage, have food to eat, and transportation to work. The credit card companies will have to wait. Let them know what situation you are in and tell them that you intend on paying them, it'll just have to be on your terms. Dave Ramsey has a pro-rata plan for times when you need to pay less than the minimum - you may be able to find his forms online.

[1bassoon]

Also, make sure you make time for your hubby. He needs some serious TLC, if he's anything like me. Even if the termination isn't his fault, it'll hit him right where it hurts, and lead him to question everything (existence, manliness, etc.). Remind him that you love him, you have confidence (even if you have to fake it) that he'll provide, and then...demonstrate that love and affection. Am I being clear enough?

 

My dh just finished a year of unemployment/underemployment - and I can't agree with this enough.

 

I guess my only other advice is to not be afraid to let people know you are hurting or need help. They can't help if they don't know!

 

Hang in there, sweetie! :grouphug:

[Peek a Boo]

{{saved}}

 

mega dittos to the advice above!! :D

 

we're kinda there, but since dh is a pilot we go through seasons of feast/famine...and we were prepared w/ an emergency fund this time.

[does anyone need a pilot to fly their personal jet?? huh? huh? ;) ]

 

But the first couple times we weren't.

 

i wrote up letters to our creditors, but never had to send them in. Write up those letters and file them away, but don't send them in....yet...unless you have to.

 

Ask around not only about jobs, but about resources:

 

all those gvt programs that us capitalists hate to see overused are MEANT for families that REALLY NEED THEM. AFDC/ WIC/ kids health insurance, etc: If you are unemployed w/ kids, YOU NEED THEM!! If I have to pay taxes, darn it, make it worth my while ;)

 

Many churches offer food pantries -- find several churches and start availing yourself of them. Even if you "still" have money for food, every bit you can funnel to creditors [house/ utilities] will be helpful. Some churches will donate money if they can send it directly to the electric/ mortgage company. Again --ask around and see if any of your friends know of a church that has a program like that. Most of the time you don't have to be a member or even religious yourself: they just wanna help.

 

Another church food program is Angel Food ministries --I haven't used it, but have heard great things about it. Ask around!

 

when we were unemployed in a NY winter there were heat programs to keep families warm. It was only a couple hundred bucks, but hey --that was more than zilch!

 

good luck!

[Scarlett]

(((saved)))

 

Prioritize your bills. Make sure you pay your mortgage, have food to eat, and transportation to work. The credit card companies will have to wait. Let them know what situation you are in and tell them that you intend on paying them, it'll just have to be on your terms. Dave Ramsey has a pro-rata plan for times when you need to pay less than the minimum - you may be able to find his forms online.

 

I agree with this. Dave Ramsey calls it taking care of 'the 4 walls.' House/electricity/food and transportation that can get you to a job. Everything else has to go further down the list of priorities. I would recommend signing up over at the free sight http://www.livinglikenooneelse.com They have alot of very specific practical advice for this sort of emergency situation.

[Quiver0f10]

No advice, but a :grouphug:. So sorry and I will be thinking of you and praying.

[Veronica in VA]

I'm sorry. My dh just lost his job, too. It is very scary. I agree with prioritizing. Also, part time work, etc. in the meantime might help. Craiglist has been a big help for us. My dh is using this time to get the free firewood for the winter, fix the tractor with someone who advertised on Craiglist for $10, etc. Some hunters have even advertised free food on there. There are jobs out there, and the more resumes he can get out, the more people he can talk too, etc. the better the chances of something coming through.

 

I'll pray for you.

 

Take care,

 

Veronica

[teamturner]

linkedin.com

I don't know how it works, my husband has recently joined this. He has been finding people he knows and adding them to his profile and when people he knows find out he's looking for a job they already have all his info to send to the appropriate hiring person that they know of. It has really helped the networking part of job searching and he's already had an interview. He has a job but would like to change. In 2002, he was unemployed for 7 months and barely had any interviews even though he sent out hundreds of resumes. We lived in a new state and didn't have any networking built up. It really helps to get the word out to all friends and relatives (previous co-workers) because you really need to have an inside person to get your resume to the right person. This may not apply to the type of job he's looking for but I thought I'd just mention it.

 

Praying he finds an even better job! Blessings,

[readwithem]

Dh lost his job.

 

For those of you who have been in this situation, what do you do to pay the bills?

 

Unemployment is nearly 1/3 of what his paychecks were. It's pending approval and will take 3 weeks.

 

We have debt were paying off, and just learned about having an emergency fund, but didn't get to begin one. :(

 

Do I call our mortgage company and credit card companies?

 

Thanks for any advice you have to offer.

 

The only thing I would add is to make the job-search a full time job till he lands something else. The temptation is to find other things around the house that need attention. Your goal is to find other gainful employment. Hugs :grouphug:

[MyThreeSons]

Call your creditors up front and explain the situation. They're much more likely to work with you that way.

 

Be willing to accept help -- from family, friends, church folk, even the government.

 

Talk with your kids. Explain as much as they can handle. Let them be a part of the changes you need to make.

 

I'll tell you what NOT to do: Don't take one of those offers for a low interest credit card with balance transfer unless you're absolutely sure they'll transfer the whole balance. We transferred two cards, thinking our payments would be lower. BUT, they didn't transfer the whole thing, and we ended up with four payments a month instead of two -- that started a downward spiral.

 

HTH

[FriedClams]

First - (((hugs)) to you and your family. You will make it through this. We did. Lots of other have. You will!!

 

The first thing DH and I did when he was laid off was to sit and pray together. We gave it up to God, rested in His will, and purposed to stay a united team throughout the process. It was like a vow renewal - we sat together, I told him I would support him entirely, that I loved him and was proud of him, and we prayed. It made a world of difference for us. It's a shocking time - let it sink in - grieve appropriately - hold on tight to each other.

 

After that - we started cutting everything.

 

Cable, gone.

Cell phones, gone as soon as the contract was filled.

Internet - maybe gone.

Mom's Day Out, gone.

Hair cuts, gone.

Eating out, gone.

Newspaper, gone.

 

Anything that wasn't already paid for - and where we wouldn't be penalized - GONE.

 

Then, sell stuff. It's a great time to be a one car family. Sell one. Sell both - and then get a beater. It's time to go nuclear.

 

Keep in mind that looking for a job IS a job. If DH is with the family or watching the kids - then he's not looking for a job. Let him head to the library

and do the resumes without everyone around. This part about drove me NUTS ( our kids were 6 mo and almost 2 when DH was laid off - and I wanted HELP!! LOL!)

 

ENCOURAGE your DH. Build him up. Let home be a haven. Don't complain about lack of anything, and don't let the kids. Be affectionate - reaffirm him as the king of the world, because he doesn't feel like it right now.

 

Let people know what your situation is. Expect miracles. God will deliver you through this.

 

Be in the Word. Pray. Focus on God. Praise Him. Love Him. Worship him. If you've seen "Facing the Giants" - prepare for rain!

 

[sorry if this is random!]

 

OK - entertainment - LIBRARY for movies, borrow movies from friends, have a board game night. USE everything in the house (and then yard sale the losers!). Go for walks, ride your bikes, find free concerts or events, volunteer to help out someone else (Habitat?). Do not sit at home and sulk. There is a TON of free stuff out there!

 

Food - There are great suggestions here already. Inventory your supplies and start planning. Check out frugal websites (Hillbilly Housewife, etc.). Pickiness is a thing of the past! Beans, rice, potatoes, etc. It's time to be cheap and whole foods and as healthy as possible. Use angel food (hillbilly housewife has menus and everything), take home leftovers when they are tossing stuff at church (potluck was "eating out" for us!), etc. Beans and rice and rice and beans! Bake bread, eat chili, use ramen noodles for salads. CUT everything extra - soda, snacks as much as you can... Talk to hunters at church - call processors (in deer season) and pay for the processing of a deer that someone brings in. Take out the Tightwad Gazette from the library and read it!

 

As much as it stinks - let others know. God will use people around you to grow you and them in miraculous ways - but they have to know. Learn to graciously say thank you and learn to accept help. Someday you will be able to bless others, and it will be an awesome time for you then. Trust me!

 

I hope this has been helpful. YOU WILL MAKE IT THROUGH. It might stink. You may have financial issues for a long time - but HONOR GOD, Stick together, put family first. Don't be bullied by the outsiders - stick together. Hug a lot. Play as much as you can. Pray more. Then hug more. You will make it through!

 

(((hugs)))

[Sparkle]

Dh lost his job.

 

For those of you who have been in this situation, what do you do to pay the bills?

 

Unemployment is nearly 1/3 of what his paychecks were. It's pending approval and will take 3 weeks.

 

We have debt were paying off, and just learned about having an emergency fund, but didn't get to begin one. :(

 

Do I call our mortgage company and credit card companies?

 

Thanks for any advice you have to offer.

 

 

I'm sorry :( I'd call the credit card companies right away and ask about postponing or minimizing payments. Cut out everything except the absolute essentials - mortgage, utilities, gas, food, insurance.

 

See if dh can find a job with a temp agency. If you're not working, see if you can pick up a part-time job - childcare, paper route, or fast food are all good options.

 

Look into food stamps, WIC, food lockers...also call your utilities and see if they offer special rates for low-income residents.

 

If you have anything you can sell - electronics, curriculum, furniture - list it on craigslist.

 

Big hugs to you, we've BTDT :grouphug:

[sdWTMer]

So very sorry that you guys are in this situation. That's really awful. I'm always wondering about that in the back of my mind.

 

Lord willing, your dh will find a job really soon!

 

Another thing that you might want to your dh to do is get on LinkedIn and Naymz (there are others) where he can link up with all of the people that you guys know and that he knows. It will help him in networking.

[newlifemom]

Is there any chance you have credit protector services? We were lucky and knew 2 weeks in advance that dh was losing his job. We signed up immediately and havn't made a payment since last Sept. We are not being penalized and are not accruing interest, nor will there be back interest when we resume. That my friend is the only reason we are still afloat. We (in just living) are struggling with debt and were in the process of getting out through Crown Financial Bible study when he lost his job. We also made it a point not to use any credit cards. Period. Now is not the time to live on credit. Trust me. I am currently witnessing the effects of an out of work family who tried to live on credit it is not pretty. Dh and I will be praying for you.:)

[saved1112]

I want to thank everyone for their advice and prayers!

 

My husband got a job last week, but it's long distance, so we may be getting a 2nd place down there and joining him... maybe God's moving us...

[Sharon H in IL]

Yippee! Praise God. So happy for you.