Caroline Posted February 24, 2013 Share Posted February 24, 2013 How can I help him get some street smarts? I started a list of things I think he should do before going to college in Midtown Atlanta. Ride the MARTA Shop at the Tech bookstore Wander around the campus Eat in the dining hall He just spent a weekend visiting his cousin at Michigan State. He flew to Chicago by himself, after not being on a plane for 12 years. Took the train back from East Lansing to Chicago. I have recently realized how sheltered he has been, living in our cushy suburban neighborhood. Anyone else feeling the anxiety about next year? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laura Corin Posted February 24, 2013 Share Posted February 24, 2013 He will learn fast. When I went off to university, I had spent half a day on the campus previously, had never eaten in the cafeteria and had only been in one building. I was pretty nervous for the first couple of weeks, but I caught on fast. I had never used the kind of washing machines that they had there - had grown up with a twin-tub - but it was all okay. I'll be where you are in a year. Laura Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jane in NC Posted February 24, 2013 Share Posted February 24, 2013 Is he accustomed to the Library of Congress system? Most kids know Dewey Decimal from their public libraries and are clueless on the system that universities use. My son helped loads of first years with their laundry. It surprised him that so many kids just did not know how to do this! I suspect, Caroline, that your son knows how to write a decent thank you note. One of my son's generous aunts regularly sends him care packages to which he always responds with an email of thanks and a general update. This in turn leads to more care packages. He figured that one out quickly. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caroline Posted February 24, 2013 Author Share Posted February 24, 2013 He can do laundry, so I guess that is good. And he can write a thank you note. (So can my niece at MSU, and she does get some nice care packages from her favorite aunt...) I went to undergraduate school at a large university in the middle of nowhere. It wasn't hard to navigate Blacksburg, VA, but I was anxious at first, too. I just want him to be happy and enjoy college. It's hard. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
freerange Posted February 24, 2013 Share Posted February 24, 2013 There was a thread last year about what life skills to teach college bound students. i'll try to find it........ :gnorsi: Here we go - Last minute adult life skills Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nan in Mass Posted February 24, 2013 Share Posted February 24, 2013 How can I help him get some street smarts? I started a list of things I think he should do before going to college in Midtown Atlanta. Ride the MARTA Shop at the Tech bookstore Wander around the campus Eat in the dining hall He just spent a weekend visiting his cousin at Michigan State. He flew to Chicago by himself, after not being on a plane for 12 years. Took the train back from East Lansing to Chicago. I have recently realized how sheltered he has been, living in our cushy suburban neighborhood. Anyone else feeling the anxiety about next year? AKKK Six months! What a thought! My youngest goes away to college in six months! I wish you hadn't done that math. Ok, so this is LAUGHABLE, my giving advice about this, considering where I've lived all my life. I am NOT streetwise. But I have three adventurous boys and this is the advice we've given them: Make sure he knows how to take a taxi and knows to have money to do it whenever he goes out and that you want him to do it if he is in an if-y situation or if it gets late and he shouldn't take the bus. Make sure he knows how to use public transportation so he can always get himself home if he goes out with people and he becomes uncomfortable. College involves lots of going places with people you don't know well in the process of making friends. This is fine, but it means he has to pay attention to HOW he got wherever it is (rather than following blindly) and has a way of getting back on his own if he decides he wants to. Make sure he has thought out some polite excuses for leaving early if things get uncomfortable, and make sure he knows that it is ok to be rude if the polite excuse doesn't work. Make sure he knows to think about how he is going to get home when he goes off someplace with people. (I'm remembering my freshman year, when the frats sent cars to our dorms to bring girls to the frat parties and provided NO way of getting home again.) Make sure he knows which are the bad sections of the city and which are ok. It isn't a bad idea to familiarize himself with the layout of the city, either, and some main landmarks. That way he can ask directions to the landmarks and get home from there. Make sure he knows to keep his hands out of his pockets and keep some distance between himself and the shelves in a store so he can't be accused of shoplifting. Make sure he knows to put his wallet someplace other than his back pocket and to put both arms through his backpack so it can't be snatched easily. Make sure he knows to look like he is going someplace, walking with a purpose rather than wandering and looking about him, if he is in a sketchy place or walking after dark. The buddy system is good. Tell him to take a friend if he goes exploring. Or several friends. Tell him it is ok to be rude to someone who crowds him in a public place. It is good to be polite, but only if it isn't inviting trouble. Tell him to trust his instincts and pay attention if he gets uncomfortable. Make sure he knows to watch his stuff and make sure nobody "adds" anything to it. Make sure he knows to watch his drink and make sure nobody "adds" anything to it. Make sure he understands that if he is with people who do something illegal, he will get in trouble, too. Make sure he knows what is legal and what isn't and that ignorance isn't an excuse. Remind him about underage girls and underage drinking. Tell him to leave any parties that involve underage drinking once he is 21 because otherwise he is responsible for giving alcohol to the under 21 crowd. (Or whatever the drinking age is where you are.) Make sure he knows about birth control and veneral disease and date rape. They will tell him about it at college and it will be a WHOLE lot more comfortable if it comes from you first. Make sure it has occured to him that a girl can accuse him of rape or being the father of her child and the resulting mess will be horrible, whether he is guilty or not. In other words, he has to be careful. Make sure he knows what the common drugs look like so he can depart if they appear. Make sure he knows how much alcohol will make someone drunk, if not for his own sake, to help him judge this if he is with other people who are drinking. Make sure he knows not to drive with anybody who has been drinking. Help him think of a few polite excuses for finding his own way home. Make sure he can drive well. Make sure he knows the legalities of driving somebody else's car. Make sure he knows that sometimes town and gown relations aren't good and because he is a college student, some locals may be hostile or suspicious. Make sure he knows not to leave his laptop in a public place to go to the bathroom or get a drink of water. It is a big nuisance to shut it up and carry it with you but it is necessary in most places. Talk about lending money (or anything else valuable) to friends and have him work out beforehand how he feels about this and some excuses for when he doesn't want to. Work out how you are going to transfer to him. We had joint accounts with ours. Talk about how to budget and keep track of your expenses and make sure he knows how to get money and pay for things with a check or credit card (if this isn't something he has been doing already). Make sure he knows how to get help at school - what to do if he gets sick, how to talk to a counselor, how to go to office hours, how to get help if he messes up a test or an assignment, what all the various people and departments are for, who to go to if he has a serious dispute with his roommate, a serious dispute with a professor, etc. Make sure he knows how to sign up for the next semester's classes (this happens earlier than you might think in the semester) and that he has to double check to make sure he is on track to fulfill his course requirements because advisors sometimes make mistakes. Make sure he knows how to take care of basic ailments like a cold or a headache. Make sure he knows how to feed himself well, basic food groups, etc., and that he knows he is still growing the body he is going to have to live in the rest of his life so it is important to take care of his bones and his teeth. Make sure he knows that he needs excersize and that going for a walk is great stress relief, a good way to take a break from studying, cool off if you are angry at someone, or in general clear you head. Remind him to smile at people. And talk about all this WAY before he actually goes to school because you don't want this talk to spoil his excitement about starting college. Most people are great and will help you if you explain your problem. Most people look out for one another. Most people are kind. That is what you want him to have uppermost in his mind when you say goodbye, not a lot of warnings. : ) Nan ETA: Make sure he knows about crowds and crowd mentality, about how good it feels to be part of a crowd, and about how to get out of a crowd if you are being carried along with one (go with the flow while working yourself towards the edge, just like swimming out of a current). Make sure he knows to pay attention to people who are herding him someplace by standing a little too close and making him step back (and back. and back. and ... you get the idea). Make sure he knows how to whack back with his elbow if a "friend" is throttling him. This won't work probably on an enemy, but can be nice if somebody is horsing around and gets carried away. Tell him not to try to argue with someone who is drunk. Logic probably won't work. He can try persuading "aw, come on buddy, be a pal and do this for me", but he may need to find a work-around. Make sure he knows about hazing, knows how to recognize a dare (and a polite way of refusing), and knows how to recognize bullying or excluding. Nan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nan in Mass Posted February 24, 2013 Share Posted February 24, 2013 This was an attempt to edit. Oops. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jane in NC Posted February 24, 2013 Share Posted February 24, 2013 Great list, Nan! I meant to add something about knowing how--and when--to call a taxi. Also, know how to make eye contact and answer questions directly when the situation merits. Unfortunately our boys can come under scrutiny by TSA, local law enforcement, etc. Some boys seem to be antagonistic in these situations. Yes, it may be unfair to always have your bag searched when flying. It is just the way it is for young men. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nscribe Posted February 24, 2013 Share Posted February 24, 2013 I don't know if it is still there and still the icon it once was.....but if he is going to be in Atlanta...take him to The Varsity. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nan in Mass Posted February 24, 2013 Share Posted February 24, 2013 Great list, Nan! I meant to add something about knowing how--and when--to call a taxi. Also, know how to make eye contact and answer questions directly when the situation merits. Unfortunately our boys can come under scrutiny by TSA, local law enforcement, etc. Some boys seem to be antagonistic in these situations. Yes, it may be unfair to always have your bag searched when flying. It is just the way it is for young men. Right - how to address an officer (or anyone else in authority) can buy you a chance to explain rather than being thrown against a car. A direct look and yes sir or yes ma'am is a good idea. And make sure they know NEVER to run away from the police. It can be done, but it is a super bad idea. Dressing neatly helps, too. My boys tend to dress up a bit when they fly for this reason. They know they are in a class of people who are checked extra thoroughily and they try to be prepared for that. How gloomy we are being! Important, though. Nan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caroline Posted February 24, 2013 Author Share Posted February 24, 2013 These lists are great. Thanks! I never thought to teach him how to use a taxi. We have had the drunk driving talk. A friend of his was killed in a high speed, single car accident a couple of weeks ago, so I think it sunk in. Going to a funeral with a bunch of your soccer buddies for another buddy you have played with since first grade, well, I think that got to a lot of the boys. Six months seems like both a very short and a very long time to me right now. This is my kid who I had when I was in grad school at Georgia Tech. He has been to the Varsity. In fact, he will be going next week after going to the High Museum to see the Frida Khalo exhibit. And, we do have to have the police officer talk again... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nscribe Posted February 24, 2013 Share Posted February 24, 2013 How gloomy we are being! Important, though. Nan I must admit after reading this about prepping a boy for college, I am just about convinced Dd will live at home and have a hired body guard. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nscribe Posted February 24, 2013 Share Posted February 24, 2013 He has been to the Varsity. It is good to know some things don't change. When we are in Atlanta we are not generally over that way, so I have not been in a long---- time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kareni Posted February 25, 2013 Share Posted February 25, 2013 Make sure your child knows where the campus health center is. It's also a good idea to send a health kit with a thermometer, over the counter pain killers, bandaids, and the like. Regards, Kareni Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lilaclady Posted February 25, 2013 Share Posted February 25, 2013 My Dh went to GT for grad school and if that is where he op' s son is going, there are some shady places around there. DH did not know and in an effort to save money on rent, went to live in Bankhead. It was not a good place. From my Dh, tell you son to try and get out some, go to some of the games and activities hey have on campus. We have been there with my kids to watch basketball games, they had a mini maker faire there too. If he can, there are lots of events in centennial Olympic park during the spring and summer. It gets really hot in the summer so to keep well hydrated. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
speedmom4 Posted February 25, 2013 Share Posted February 25, 2013 This is something I am concerned about as well. Dd is going to a small college in a smallish city but she is VERY innocent and naive. I'll have to show her these lists and see what she thinks. There will be other things I think girls should be aware of. I don't think she needs to know how to react with law enforcement but I will definitely keep these in the back of my mind for my boys in a few years. But I am concerned about her limited experience with boys/men. Most of her interactions have been with boys at church. She has never had a boyfriend or even kissed a boy for that matter. She is quite pretty though and I worry about her. She also doesn't seem to have any "creeper meter". If we have an interaction with some guy standing outside of a gas station, for instance, she will say, "That man was SO nice." I am usually floored at that point because I interpreted the man as being gross and inappropriate. Even her girl friends have noticed that dd can't seem to see when a guy is a creep. I don't know how we will get any homeschooling done next year because all I'll be doing is praying for dd! Elise in NC Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nan in Mass Posted February 25, 2013 Share Posted February 25, 2013 This is something I am concerned about as well. Dd is going to a small college in a smallish city but she is VERY innocent and naive. I'll have to show her these lists and see what she thinks. There will be other things I think girls should be aware of. I don't think she needs to know how to react with law enforcement but I will definitely keep these in the back of my mind for my boys in a few years. But I am concerned about her limited experience with boys/men. Most of her interactions have been with boys at church. She has never had a boyfriend or even kissed a boy for that matter. She is quite pretty though and I worry about her. She also doesn't seem to have any "creeper meter". If we have an interaction with some guy standing outside of a gas station, for instance, she will say, "That man was SO nice." I am usually floored at that point because I interpreted the man as being gross and inappropriate. Even her girl friends have noticed that dd can't seem to see when a guy is a creep. I don't know how we will get any homeschooling done next year because all I'll be doing is praying for dd! Elise in NC Hopefully somebody will adopt her and her friends will keep her safe. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caroline Posted February 25, 2013 Author Share Posted February 25, 2013 DH and I both went to grad school,there, too. We live just north of ATL. We will watch where he lives, but my guess is that he will stay on campus at least the first two years. His cousin may go to Emory, and we may get them an apartment together in the Emory area. (Much safer than the GT area.) Thanks for your help. My Dh went to GT for grad school and if that is where he op' s son is going, there are some shady places around there. DH did not know and in an effort to save money on rent, went to live in Bankhead. It was not a good place. From my Dh, tell you son to try and get out some, go to some of the games and activities hey have on campus. We have been there with my kids to watch basketball games, they had a mini maker faire there too. If he can, there are lots of events in centennial Olympic park during the spring and summer. It gets really hot in the summer so to keep well hydrated. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lisabees Posted February 25, 2013 Share Posted February 25, 2013 Make sure your child knows where the campus health center is. It's also a good idea to send a health kit with a thermometer, over the counter pain killers, bandaids, and the like. Regards, Kareni I told ds to keep an eye on friends/roommates who are sick. If a kid is in bed for more than a day or two, get help for him. He may need medicine or he may need to see a counselor. I told him to be aware of kids who seem depressed. Make sure your ds has practice going to doctor and getting prescriptions at the pharmacy. Make sure he knows how to use (and find the schedules for) all forms of public transportation. Also, make sure he has practice depositing/withdrawing money from the bank. Make sure he knows that a girl can get pregnant at ALL times of her cycle and that being "on the pill" means nothing (especially with teen girls who are likely not good about keeping on schedule). Tell him to always cover up (after you tell him he better wait)! And always use the lock on your bike. Ask me how I know. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lori D. Posted February 25, 2013 Share Posted February 25, 2013 And always use the lock on your bike. Ask me how I know. ALWAYS use a rigid U-shaped bike lock, NOT a cable or even a chain and simple padlock. Ask me how I know! AND if you have a quick release front wheel you MUST release and include it in the lock, with the back wheel and the post or embedded bike rack. If you don't, it will be gone when you come back. AND, take your quick release seat with you in your backpack, otherwise you will find it gone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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