kwickimom Posted September 21, 2012 Share Posted September 21, 2012 This is a spin off of the I hate cooking thread.... Does anyone here just cook a meal and make the kids eat or they don't eat? Or do you cook a meal and if they don't like it they can have a sandwich or something? My kids have gotten horrible and they wont eat hardly any fruits or veggies and I am plain sick and tired of it. They have stopped eating things like spaghetti and sloppy joes, staples we used to eat all the time. I need to lose more weight and I want to eat healthy and I love fruits and veggies and I am going to just cook what I want, 1 meal a night, and thats it. I am just interested in hearing ideas as to what to do with the kids and husband. I am tired of hearing the whining and complaining. I am TIRED.OF.IT Ideas????????? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wheres Toto Posted September 21, 2012 Share Posted September 21, 2012 I have one kid that is picky enough that he WILL starve himself. He has sensory issues and will not eat anything but what is acceptable for him. Since he is underweight already and we don't want to make it worse, we feed him what he will eat. According to the doctor, he is actually doing okay as far as variety and nutrients. Dh usually cooks for him and I but I make the kids dinner since dh gets home later from work these days. Most of what they eat is very easy to make - heated up in the toaster oven or microwave. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheReader Posted September 21, 2012 Share Posted September 21, 2012 I try not to make food a battle, so I don't force them to eat what they don't like except I do require one taste. When I cook, I try to make sure that everyone in the family likes at least one portion of the meal. So, on spaghetti night (my youngest's favorite) I make veggies he doesn't like (and maybe hide others in the sauce). But on a night I cook a main portion he isn't as fond of, I make his favorite veggie. Another thing I do is to make mixed veggies, often. Not frozen/store bought, though that can certainly work, but for example I might roast beets with potatoes & carrots or potatoes & apples. The youngest will eat the potato/apple portion, but not the beets. Or I might steam carrots with the eggplant and zuchini that the rest of us are eating; the youngest will eat the carrots, but not the rest. Or carrots with green beans, that sort of thing. Broccoli with the cauliflower, etc. This way, I can put just carrots or just potato or just (whatever) on his plate. Also, I do have a rule for him that he can't have a 2nd serving of rice until he's eaten enough of the meat & veggie portion of the meal, otherwise he'd fill up on rice. I don't make him clean his plate, but he has to have eaten enough of the meat & veggie that I can tell some is gone, ya know? Otherwise he'd eat all the rice first, ask for more, eat that, and not take more than a bite of the rest. Ummm, no. Sorry, kid, you do have to maintain some balance here. When someone just plain does not feel like eating what I've cooked, they have the option of making a PB&J (we use 100% fruit jam, not sugar-added jelly) or apple & peanut butter, or fruit instead of the veggie, or something like that. I will not cook anything extra, but they are welcome to grab something such as the above on their own -- only once they've at least tasted everything on the plate. The last thing I do is to cook veggies in several different ways, so that carrots is not always just steamed. Sometimes it's roasted, sometimes it's steamed and then seasoned with honey, sometimes it's butter, sometimes raw & served with dressing for dipping. I mix up the combos, too, so that different things are getting put on the plate. We only have a handful of veggies available to us here so I do what I can to keep some variety. Shuffling around combos of veggies helps a lot with the appearance of more variety than we actually have, and seems to help the picky eaters a bit in that it's presented in a new way so they are more willing to try it rather than just "we had this last week and I didn't like it!!" -- No, I cooked it differently this time, taste it and see. Every now and then he likes what he tastes (or they do, though mostly it is the youngest at this point) and will actually eat all of what was served. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
krorabaugh Posted September 21, 2012 Share Posted September 21, 2012 I can relate - I make variations on foods I cook so my kids can at least have basically the same meal as my husband and I eat. I don't make them eat things they hate but fruit and veg of some sort at every meal is not optional Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thescrappyhomeschooler Posted September 21, 2012 Share Posted September 21, 2012 My husband and ds2 are the absolute worst. There are literally only about 20 foods that either of them will eat, and they have to be certain kinds of those foods. For example- cold cuts. Dh will only eat cold cuts from either of two specific delis in town. I've been buying the Applegate Farms deli meats for the kids, but dh won't eat them. Ds2 will only eat cheese pizza from Donatos. If I make a homemade pizza or buy one from any other place, he won't eat it. Dh doesn't eat pizza at all. Dh won't eat any type of sauce, except for Bullseye regular barbecue sauce. Meats cannot be marinated, can't add anything to hamburgers, and grilling is really the only acceptable way to cook meats of any kind in his mind. He will eat raw lettuce, preferably iceberg, but since I don't buy that, he has branched out to romaine. The only other vegetables he will eat are raw carrots and raw celery. Oh, and he will eat frozen peas, but only if they are Birdseye. I could go on and on and on about dh's food pickiness. Before we got married, I told dh that there was no way I was going to cater to his food idiocy. Cannot tolerate it. I also told him that he was not allowed to say negative things about food in front of the kids. He tries, but he still does say things in front of them. And I call him on it every time. I love to cook. I love to eat. I love most all kinds of foods. I don't know if I could even list 20 things I don't like. The food issues are the biggest stressors in my marriage and parenting life. We can't have the traditional meals most families would consider fairly standard- spaghetti, tacos, meatloaf, etc. Dh knows that if he doesn't like what I'm making, he's on his own. A few months ago, I told the kids that if they don't like the meal I'm serving, they can find their own. I do try to have things on hand that they all like, but if you run out of cheese sticks and yogurt because that's the only thing you're eating, and it's not shopping day, you're S.O.L. Some days, I really do think I need to speak to a counselor about it. :tongue_smilie: P.S. Ds1 is also picky, but at least he's willing to try new things. And he's the Aspie! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fairfarmhand Posted September 21, 2012 Share Posted September 21, 2012 (edited) This is a spin off of the I hate cooking thread.... Does anyone here just cook a meal and make the kids eat or they don't eat? Or do you cook a meal and if they don't like it they can have a sandwich or something? Ideas????????? yup/ I do this. There's six of us here, so on any given day SOMEBODY doesn't care for something served. Our grocery budget has been so pitiful lately that you either eat or you don't. I don't even give the option of a sandwich anymore because the next day we won't have enough bread for lunch if everyone ate sandwiches at supper time. The rule is, you eat or you go hungry. If you are hungry it is your own choice. Deal with it without whining. Personally, many of our meals are not my favorite too, but I prefer not being hungry. I do give them options, like eating broccoli raw rather than cooked the way that dh and I prefer it, or eating a double helping of another veggie if they don't care for the other (after they've choked down a forkful or two of the hated one) ETA: we don't have any feeding issues, just normal kids who would rather eat Doritos and Cocoa Pebbles all day long than chicken, broccoli and carrots. Edited September 21, 2012 by fairfarmhand Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kwickimom Posted September 21, 2012 Author Share Posted September 21, 2012 yup/ I do this. There's six of us here, so on any given day SOMEBODY doesn't care for something served. Our grocery budget has been so pitiful lately that you either eat or you don't. I don't even give the option of a sandwich anymore because the next day we won't have enough bread for lunch if everyone ate sandwiches at supper time. The rule is, you eat or you go hungry. If you are hungry it is your own choice. Deal with it without whining. Personally, many of our meals are not my favorite too, but I prefer not being hungry. I do give them options, like eating broccoli raw rather than cooked the way that dh and I prefer it, or eating a double helping of another veggie if they don't care for the other (after they've choked down a forkful or two of the hated one) ETA: we don't have any feeding issues, just normal kids who would rather eat Doritos and Cocoa Pebbles all day long than chicken, broccoli and carrots. This is what I want to do. My kids would be fine eating a sandwich every night so I dont want to make that an option because we already go through tons of bread. None of my kids have feeding issues either. They are just whiny and picky because they want junk food. I will allow them a few foods that they hate, but not 100 foods. It is beyond ridiculous. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
********* Posted September 21, 2012 Share Posted September 21, 2012 I really do feel your frustration. I JUST had this conversation with dh and all three boys last night. I made FOUR different dinners, and I didn't even eat! That was a different dinner for each of the boys and dh! I don't know. I grew up with 'This is the meal. Eat it.' Not even an option for NOT eating. You ate it, and you didn't complain at all or else you got in trouble. But I just can't do that. I mean, for one, I'm not into forcing people to eat food they genuinely don't care for. For two, Moose has sensory issues, and there are foods he can't eat without gagging. But yeah, I wanted all the men of the house to appreciate that they have it so well that I made a different dinner for each of them. :tongue_smilie: Now, don't feel TOO bad for me; two of them had essentially the same thing, but I left the meat off of the portion for one of them. It's ok, I get creative at trying to make it less work for me. And I really do want them each to enjoy their meal. I do, however, give frequent warnings that excessive pickyness is not tolerated. I mean, it IS ok to eat peas instead of green beans. Just because you like green beans better does not mean I have to serve them to you instead of peas. Eat the flingin' flangin' peas and move on with life. You know? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fairfarmhand Posted September 21, 2012 Share Posted September 21, 2012 Eat the flingin' flangin' peas and move on with life. You know? :lol::lol::lol: You should print this on a Tshirt! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joshin Posted September 21, 2012 Share Posted September 21, 2012 We do the one bite rule, then they can fend for themselves if they don't want what I made. There are rules to that, though. DS11 isn't picky and when he is, he's more lazy than picky so he usually just eats what he doesn't like so he doesn't have to make anything else. (his daily job is also dishes, so he doesn't like to make more dirty dishes by cooking something). DS7 has a few vegetables he doesn't like that the rest of us love. His choice is to replace the vegetables with either a leftover or raw veg he does like, or a fruit. No replacing dinner with junk food or only carbs. They basically have to replace it with the same food group they are refusing to eat, and it cannot make any extra work for anyone but themselves. We make a big deal out of the fact that our taste buds grow up with us, so that's why we have to try foods we think we don't like regularly to see if our taste buds have changed. This really appeals to DS7. It seems whenever he has a birthday or grows a couple of inches on the wall chart, he magically starts liking something new so he can declare he has grown up some more. I do make some concessions for my families dislikes when it doesn't add more work for the cook. For example, DS7 can't stand onions unless they are overpowered by something, such as in spaghetti sauce. When I make quesadillas, I make one for him without onions. DS11 doesn't like mushrooms, so I cut them large enough so he can remove them from his serving of pasta or I leave them off part of the pizza for him. I'm not picky and the only food I don't like is green peppers. They will trigger my gag reflex if I am not prepared for their flavor in something, so I can respect one or two strong dislikes. The difference is discovering which is a strong dislike and which is just a preference. Sure, DS7 prefers apple slices over carrots, but carrots don't make him gag so he can eat a bite or two. My mom was a picky eater and I hated it. We had the same thing for dinner almost every night because it was all she liked. There were so many good foods I didn't discover until I was an adult. She is the youngest of a large family and I think it started as a control issue when she was very young then became habit. Only in recent years as she really started to branch out with food. I didn't want that for my kids so I had a game plan in place for handling it before they were even born. It hasn't worked perfectly, but one isn't picky and the other is now only slightly picky. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
********* Posted September 21, 2012 Share Posted September 21, 2012 :lol::lol::lol: You should print this on a Tshirt! Maybe I should. :D I mean, for crying out loud. With everything going on with my dad right now, I really don't care if the green veggie I served isn't your favorite, you know? Yes, somtimes I have the extra energy to make three vegetables so everyone is happiest. But good grief people, it's food. It doesn't always have to be your favorite; maybe sometimes it could just be to help nourish your body, you know?! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellie Posted September 21, 2012 Share Posted September 21, 2012 I cooked what I cooked. Children either eat or don't. I didn't make them eat; I also didn't offer them anything else. Happily, neither of them had other issues that would affect their food likes/dislikes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
********* Posted September 21, 2012 Share Posted September 21, 2012 Also, I know this has nothing to do with your question, but didn't you used to have a picture of your cute self as an avatar, kwickimom? Or maybe I have you confused with someone else. I could swear you used to have an avatar picture. I get so confused when people change their avatars. :tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RoundAbout Posted September 21, 2012 Share Posted September 21, 2012 I cooked what I cooked. Children either eat or don't. I didn't make them eat; I also didn't offer them anything else. :iagree: I'm willing to modify a meal if it doesn't cost me anything - like the poster above who cuts mushrooms chunky so they can be picked out. However, my son seems perfectly willing to drink a glass of milk and ask to be excused if he doesn't like dinner. I'm not sure how I would handle it if there was actual complaining or cries of hunger. I think insisting on politeness at meal times is important. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Donna Posted September 21, 2012 Share Posted September 21, 2012 My kids are good eaters and there are very few things they do not like so I do give them options if I cook something one won't eat. They can heat up leftovers or make themselves a sandwich if they don't like what I am cooking. I don't cook separate meals but I if cooking something I know one dislikes, I do try to include a dish (either main course, vegetable, or side dish) with the meal they do like. When my oldest was a baby/toddler, I started doing the "short order cook" thing...cooking and cooking until I'd hit on something he'd eat. That got old very quick and I found he'd eat when he got hungry so I stopped driving myself crazy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momto10blessings Posted September 21, 2012 Share Posted September 21, 2012 My 10 year old can eat what I make or make a sandwich or cook his own food (whatever I have available). That's it. He eats something other than what I make most of the time because he is that picky. My youngest will eat anything. That's all I got. I have tried making my 10 year old eat stuff. It's resulted in him vomiting on the table, freaking out, epic issues, etc. I can't live like that so that's the compromise I've come up with. I hate these threads (no offense meant to you OP), but I'm bracing myself for the dozens of posts that will say it's me not my kid, I'm doing it wrong, I'm not mean enough, etc. Seriously, I have tried everything. I think it's just my kid. And I can either be miserable every single day fighting with him about it, or I can just let him cook his own food and there is peace at the dinner table. I've chosen peace. When I complained in the other thread, I was actually thinking more about my husband. He claims up and down he is not picky, but I can think of dozens of pretty regular/normal ingredients that I'd like to cook with that he does not like. So I feel like I'm always working around that. That said I am also picky. It's just I do all the cooking so I make only what I like. I do not make foods I don't like. Sounds like my 6 yr old. He's so picky it's hard to believe he is from a family of 10. He takes the tiniest little bites of everything... he used to eat things like pizza, spaghetti, etc but will not touch them now. If it were up to him we would eat hamburgers and grilled chicken alternating every other night. I can't do that. Either he eats what I make or he doesn't eat. A lot of nights he ends up not eating, but makes up for it by eating a big breakfast Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kwickimom Posted September 21, 2012 Author Share Posted September 21, 2012 Also, I know this has nothing to do with your question, but didn't you used to have a picture of your cute self as an avatar, kwickimom? Or maybe I have you confused with someone else. I could swear you used to have an avatar picture. I get so confused when people change their avatars. :tongue_smilie: I did have a photo...I went to change it to an updated one and I couldn't find one I liked and meant to go back and fix it and never did :) It does drive me nuts when people change their avatar and I am SO being that person :lol: I also recognize people by their avatars and I wish everyone had one. Later, I will be putting one up that I will leave on foreverrrrrrrrrrr :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kwickimom Posted September 21, 2012 Author Share Posted September 21, 2012 I cooked what I cooked. Children either eat or don't. I didn't make them eat; I also didn't offer them anything else. Happily, neither of them had other issues that would affect their food likes/dislikes. I need to just do this. Like starting tonight. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.