Ravin Posted August 5, 2012 Share Posted August 5, 2012 The other thread about diverging religion in marriage got me thinking about kids. DD has become quite aware that what I believe and practice is quite different from what other families around us believe. Her neighborhood friends fall into three categories: go to church and can't play on Sunday, go to church but can play in the afternoon on Sunday, and don't go to church. Frankly the kids she gets along with best fall in the former category, and are LDS or Catholic. We have friends outside the neighborhood who are either not religious, an unconventional stripe of Christian, or some stripe of Pagan different from ours. We've been to Heathen gatherings a few times, but public gatherings tend to be distant across the valley or outside it, and there are no Kindreds open to new members near us. (A Kindred is a small group, tighter-knit than a typical Christian congregation, and when they feel they have enough, they tend to close membership). For those who believe differently from the majority of people around you, how and what do you teach your children about your faith and that of others? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joanne Posted August 5, 2012 Share Posted August 5, 2012 For those who believe differently from the majority of people around you, how and what do you teach your children about your faith and that of others? My kids are older (all teens) and it's only been recently that I've come out of the religious closet am polyspiritual. ;) I teach them respect of personal religious paths, but I am honest about my personal criticisms of various religions, the leaders/saviors/gurus and the followers. In terms of personal interaction, my kids have good social skills and intuition on appropriate and not appropriate. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carrie12345 Posted August 5, 2012 Share Posted August 5, 2012 We read The Story of the World. ;) Those and other books. Dh and I don't usually discuss our specific lack of belief, but encourage questioning of all beliefs and sciences. So far, it's worked well, in our opinion. My son, who turns 14 this month, has "Judeo-Christian Agnosticism" as his religion on FB. I don't know exactly what HE thinks that means, but I take it to mean he's still questioning. My 10yo seems rather pagan-y to me, and a definite polytheist. My 9yo is unimpressed with all religious concepts. I don't think she knows the word atheist, but says she doesn't believe in any of that stuff. They enjoy talking about religions in a general way, but seem rather uninterested in individual's beliefs outside of their various holiday traditions. They dislike discussing the persecution of ANY religion just as much as discussion about racial descrimination and sexism. I'm quite happy with the paths they're taking. Dh would like to push our personal thoughts a bit harder, but I find it completely uneccessary. Perhaps I'd feel differently if we lived in a "What church do you go to?" region. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greenmama2 Posted August 5, 2012 Share Posted August 5, 2012 We just talk a lot. We are Buddhist (ex-pagan for me, ex-Christian for DH) and follow a brand of Buddhism from a particular country. The only friends DD has who are also the same kind of Buddhist have one parent from that country so it's more of a cultural thing for them. Most of our friends are atheist/agnostic or feminist pagans and of our close Christian friends, a few families take their day of rest on Saturday for various reasons. So perhaps it is the area we live in but we are pretty lucky that the diversity of possible spiritual paths is fairly obvious to our children. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FairyMom Posted August 5, 2012 Share Posted August 5, 2012 We read The Story of the World. ;)Those and other books. Dh and I don't usually discuss our specific lack of belief, but encourage questioning of all beliefs and sciences. So far, it's worked well, in our opinion. My son, who turns 14 this month, has "Judeo-Christian Agnosticism" as his religion on FB. I don't know exactly what HE thinks that means, but I take it to mean he's still questioning. My 10yo seems rather pagan-y to me, and a definite polytheist. My 9yo is unimpressed with all religious concepts. I don't think she knows the word atheist, but says she doesn't believe in any of that stuff. They enjoy talking about religions in a general way, but seem rather uninterested in individual's beliefs outside of their various holiday traditions. They dislike discussing the persecution of ANY religion just as much as discussion about racial descrimination and sexism. I'm quite happy with the paths they're taking. Dh would like to push our personal thoughts a bit harder, but I find it completely uneccessary. Perhaps I'd feel differently if we lived in a "What church do you go to?" region. I love your kids' varying thoughts, how interesting dinner must be. :) Since we've only been away from the church for a couple of years, it's been more of a change for us than our kids. They, thankfully, are too young to remember much, mostly play stuff. They stopped going to the "Sunday School" after my oldest was 4. I kind of new then I didn't want her to be saturated in it, but I wasn't 100% sure. Anyway, over the last 18 months, we've found a few friends and homeschool families who are amazing. We do live in the "What church do you go to?" region, but it doesn't really come up because we don't interact that much with people outside of our UU friends. If I were to enroll the girls in ballet, it would come up constantly. They're not interested anymore, so I've avoided that. They feel "normal" in their life, and that's my goal. We did shock the registrar at the hospital when I went to pre-register my daughter for surgery on Wednesday. She asked us our religious preference, and I replied, "None. We're Unitarians." She just dropped her jaw, stared for a minute and then continued typing. My youngest said, "Mom, are you two talking about our church? It's just so much fun. She should come." :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dbmamaz Posted August 5, 2012 Share Posted August 5, 2012 I think its important that you explain AND REALLY BELIEVE that its ok to be different! We sometimes go to the UU church for like-minded liberal and diverse people, but we dont always get along with them. My youngest's two best friends at the moment are a very religious christain and a pretty liberal catholic - but they dont go as far as 'cant play on sunday'. Its just part of life. we're different. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jar7709 Posted August 5, 2012 Share Posted August 5, 2012 Have you read Parenting Beyond Belief? And the sequel. I have found them very helpful. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NotSoObvious Posted August 5, 2012 Share Posted August 5, 2012 Have you read Parenting Beyond Belief? And the sequel. I have found them very helpful. :iagree: This! Also, I belong to the Mothers Beyond Belief Facebook group. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FairyMom Posted August 5, 2012 Share Posted August 5, 2012 Have you read Parenting Beyond Belief? And the sequel. I have found them very helpful. :iagree: This! Also, I belong to the Mothers Beyond Belief Facebook group. Thank you for these!! :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom-ninja. Posted August 5, 2012 Share Posted August 5, 2012 I teach my kids to hush about the issue. Politely change the subject if it comes up, or come to me. I teach them to not make comments that would be overly offensive. Although I will say that my kids are not spared comments that are offensive to them. It's a double standard we live as atheists. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FairyMom Posted August 5, 2012 Share Posted August 5, 2012 It's a double standard we live as atheists. And this frustrates me. Me too. My home and family are here, so I deal with it the best I can. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carrie12345 Posted August 5, 2012 Share Posted August 5, 2012 I love your kids' varying thoughts, how interesting dinner must be. :) :) It is! My kids fight like cats and dogs, but somehow manage to handle discussions about beliefs (from fairies to Santa to gods) pretty well. A few raised eyebrows, a few eye rolls, and a bit of debate, but that's very tame compared to their attempts to choose what to put on the TV! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Desert Rat Posted August 5, 2012 Share Posted August 5, 2012 My kids are older (all teens) and it's only been recently that I've come out of the religious closet am polyspiritual. ;) I teach them respect of personal religious paths, but I am honest about my personal criticisms of various religions, the leaders/saviors/gurus and the followers. In terms of personal interaction, my kids have good social skills and intuition on appropriate and not appropriate. :iagree: With the exception that my boys are still learning those social skills. For now, I have taught them to say that they don't discuss religion and leave it alone. Now that ds12 is older, I'm teaching him to respond with more of a "that's cool" response. As for my own beliefs, I am very open that this is what *I* believe, not necessarily what they need to believe also. They are young yet so they always agree with me...for now. I am very careful to put it out there that religion doesn't make someone bad or good. Their actions do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Desert Rat Posted August 5, 2012 Share Posted August 5, 2012 :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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