Quiver0f10 Posted July 25, 2012 Share Posted July 25, 2012 (edited) My 7 year old had testing yesterday which was supposed to be for auditory processing. We were there for 2.5 hours and the tester said he needed to improve in a few areas before they could do the AP testing. I am fine with this and plan to work on the areas she recommended. But when we first arrived I explained what I believe are his issues: dyslexia, dysgraphia, Dyscalculia( not sure @ this), ADHD, and AP. I really believe the ADHD is a major part of what is going on with him. He is scheduled for a Neuro-psych eval in the fall. The last part of the test she handed him a paper and told him to write a story. He told her he couldn't write and she seemed shocked. I explained that he could write if I spelled the words for him but that he can't spell and read yet which is why we are doing testing. I get home and explained to my husband how things went and the part about the story and her reaction. He went on about how I should be teaching him and that I was doing things wrong. ( The ideas he gave me won't work for a child like this and I know that) but it still made me feel like a failure. I know he didn't mean to but I am still raw from the eval lady's reaction. I have spent a lot of time researching and getting him set up for testing, as well as working hard on reading and his other weak areas. We changed our diet so there are no dyes, HFCS, preservatives. I cook and bake everything from scratch. I thought I was doing all that I could. I feel utterly defeated today. I really need to rethink what I am planning for fall. I feel like I need to start over and I have no clue what I am doing. Edited July 25, 2012 by Quiver0f10 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
prairiegirl Posted July 25, 2012 Share Posted July 25, 2012 :grouphug::grouphug: I have been in the pit of defeat many, many times. We had an assessment done on dd last year to see if she needed vision therapy. I did not hear any positives, they were all negatives. The negatives started with the basics like, not holding a pencil properly, not being able to copy letters and from there it just got worse. I came out of that eval feeling raw and a failure. I have struggled mightily this past year. I have seen, though, that the things that are working for us are things that have come to me through surfing on the web and being on this forum. For ex. we had been doing Bartons but it was not working. In being here on the forum, I discovered LoE and it has been working extremely well. I would never have found this if I had depended no the professionals. Give yourself time to heal from this eval and then think/pray/meditate on what your next step will be. Again, :grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stacy in NJ Posted July 25, 2012 Share Posted July 25, 2012 You're doing a great job. 7 is very young still. My ds15 (dyslexic) didn't learn to read and write until about around 11 years old. He's fine now. Your persistence and consistency will pay off over the long term. Sometimes we loose the forest for the trees when others don't understand. Don't internalize that outside pressure. It's not you or your son. It's the unrealistic or not terribly sensitive expectations. By the way, the tester sounds like an idiot. There are many, many 7 years olds that would be stumped if told to "write a story". Yeesh. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chiguirre Posted July 25, 2012 Share Posted July 25, 2012 I get home and explained to my husband how things went and the part about the story and her reaction. He went on about how I should be teaching him and that I was doing things wrong. ( The ideas he gave me won't work for a child like this and I know that) but it still made me feel like a failure. I know he didn't mean to but I am still raw from the eval lady's reaction. You've taught a lot of kids to read and write, so you must be doing things right. While I wouldn't expect a tester to bolster your morale, I would ask your dh to remember that and remind you of it when you need a boost. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dtsmamtj Posted July 25, 2012 Share Posted July 25, 2012 You're doing a great job. 7 is very young still. My ds15 (dyslexic) didn't learn to read and write until about around 11 years old. He's fine now. Your persistence and consistency will pay off over the long term. Sometimes we loose the forest for the trees when others don't understand. Don't internalize that outside pressure. It's not you or your son. It's the unrealistic or not terribly sensitive expectations. By the way, the tester sounds like an idiot. There are many, many 7 years olds that would be stumped if told to "write a story". Yeesh. :iagree: Getting something on paper was a HUGE challenge for my son with CAPD when we got him tested at age 9, and honestly still is a bit of a struggle today. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RamonaQ Posted July 25, 2012 Share Posted July 25, 2012 I am honestly surprised that the evaluator was 'shocked'. Goodness! FWIW, my ds wouldn't have been able to write a story at that age....but by 12 he was regularly writing 5 paragraph essays. Wait for the eval to come back for final diagnosis. I would then look into curriculums for remediation (reading-- Barton, Wilson, OG, etc...) Hang in there. Your child WILL learn and you will continue to be his excellent teacher. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quiver0f10 Posted July 25, 2012 Author Share Posted July 25, 2012 (edited) Thank you all. I am just having a pity party type day. There has been chocolate. My 12 yo is dyslexic but also has some developmental delays so we have btdt. My 7 yo doesn't have the all the issues my 12 year old has, but I think my husband was just in denial and needed to face it. He knew, but having an eval makes it reality kwim? We started Barton's with the 7 yo this spring, but he failed the screening so we are doing eraobics and phonemic awareness stuff while we wait for his Neuro-psych. As far as the evaluator being shocked I don't know what to think. I need to just let it go. Edited July 25, 2012 by Quiver0f10 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justamouse Posted July 25, 2012 Share Posted July 25, 2012 You're doing a great job. 7 is very young still. My ds15 (dyslexic) didn't learn to read and write until about around 11 years old. He's fine now. Your persistence and consistency will pay off over the long term. Sometimes we loose the forest for the trees when others don't understand. Don't internalize that outside pressure. It's not you or your son. It's the unrealistic or not terribly sensitive expectations. By the way, the tester sounds like an idiot. There are many, many 7 years olds that would be stumped if told to "write a story". Yeesh. :iagree: Bolded, highlighted, italic, in bright letters. :glare: That is absurd. My almost 7 year old who has no problems couldn't sit down and write a story. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laurie Posted July 25, 2012 Share Posted July 25, 2012 :grouphug: Jean, I don't know how much time your dh currently spends doing homework with your ds in the evening, but I would increase it. It would be a shame to underutilize all that expertise. ;) :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quiver0f10 Posted July 25, 2012 Author Share Posted July 25, 2012 :grouphug: Jean, I don't know how much time your dh currently spends doing homework with your ds in the evening, but I would increase it. It would be a shame to underutilize all that expertise. ;) :grouphug: :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tokyomarie Posted July 25, 2012 Share Posted July 25, 2012 :grouphug: Jean, I don't know how much time your dh currently spends doing homework with your ds in the evening, but I would increase it. It would be a shame to underutilize all that expertise. ;) :grouphug: After all, schools assign homework for the parents to help with in the evening. Jean's the teacher. She's assigning the homework. Golly, I guess Dad is the available parent to assist with evening homework. ;) In all honesty, I have found that unless a father is in a profession where he works with children regularly- education, pediatric health care, recreation, etc. that the dad often has little comprehension of normal child development, let alone deviations from the norm. At least this is what I've found with my husband. He was more than happy to blame me for not teaching/parenting my children correctly because he couldn't accept that there were some deviations from the norm that had nothing to do with me. Had he been more cued in to normal development before any issues arose, he could have come to more accurate conclusions. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JennW in SoCal Posted July 25, 2012 Share Posted July 25, 2012 Thank you all. I am just having a pity party type day. There has been chocolate. My 12 yo is dyslexic but also has some developmental delays so we have btdt. My 7 yo doesn't have the all the issues my 12 year old has, but I think my husband was just in denial and needed to face it. He knew, but having an eval makes it reality kwim? We started Barton's with the 7 yo this spring, but he failed the screening so we are doing eraobics and phonemic awareness stuff while we wait for his Neuro-psych. As far as the evaluator being shocked I don't know what to think. I need to just let it go. :grouphug: Jean I've "known" you on these boards for years now --- I can remember when you were Quiver of 9!! I can't believe that baby is now 7!! Seeing a thread from you entitled "feeling defeated" makes me want to rush over to give you more chocolate!! Your 7yo is just keeping you from being complacent after all those years homeschooling -- keeping you on your toes! Just a little challenge to keep it interesting. You WILL figure it out and he WILL learn, and I know this because I have the utmost faith in you! :grouphug: Hang in there. The tester was a moron and your dh must have just spoken without thinking. Or he needs some members of the hive to come have a little chat with him about! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quiver0f10 Posted July 25, 2012 Author Share Posted July 25, 2012 :grouphug: Jean I've "known" you on these boards for years now --- I can remember when you were Quiver of 9!! I can't believe that baby is now 7!! Seeing a thread from you entitled "feeling defeated" makes me want to rush over to give you more chocolate!! Your 7yo is just keeping you from being complacent after all those years homeschooling -- keeping you on your toes! Just a little challenge to keep it interesting. You WILL figure it out and he WILL learn, and I know this because I have the utmost faith in you! :grouphug: Hang in there. The tester was a moron and your dh must have just spoken without thinking. Or he needs some members of the hive to come have a little chat with him about! Thank you! I needed that today. :grouphug: I think my DH was trying to be helpful in his "I will fix everything" way. He wasn't trying to be hurtful. I was simply raw from the eval. I have had my pity party. I prayed. I had chocolate. I have you wonderful ladies! :grouphug: It's all good! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lizzie in Ma Posted July 25, 2012 Share Posted July 25, 2012 :grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
herekittykitty Posted July 25, 2012 Share Posted July 25, 2012 Just wanted to offer some hugs. Sorry you are feeling down. My 7 yo son sounds very similar to yours. We had neuropysch testing last fall and the diagnoses are dyslexia, dysgraphia, dyscalculia and ADD. So the part about him not writing a story makes total sense to me. My son would have reacted very similarly. You are not doing things wrong at all - you are just trying your best to help him! Hopefully your DH was just in a know-it-all mood. Hang in there and just keep at it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted July 25, 2012 Share Posted July 25, 2012 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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