S/O from Colleen's thread...gratitude and jealousy

[jail warden]

I am so grateful to be able to be home with my children, learning with them, and at times teaching them.:001_smile:

 

I am so grateful for a husband who loves me no matter what weight I am and always thinks I look beautiful, even when I'm starting to find more gray hairs and the pounds aren't coming off as fast as I would like!

 

I'm grateful for friends and husband who are there to support me as I go through this journey called life. A MIL who is always willing to help out.

 

I'm grateful of a big house and a little land to call our own, even though it took a lot of time away from family and friends since we had to to most of it ourselves. I'm glad we have those skills to allow us to do this somewhat affordably.

 

I'm also grateful for my youngest, who has had more happen to her in her young life than my other two combined and she has come through with flying colors!!!

 

 

I'm jealous of anyone who has a mother who is there for them and wants to spend any little bit of time with them, rather than work.

 

I would love for our finances to be more stable and not have my dh looking for a different career path to help us make more money(although I'm happy for this at the same time to actually fathom having a decent income!)

 

I would love to give my children outside activities, especially music. My ds loves sports and I'd love to sign him up for all of it, but it costs money we don't have.

 

I'm also jealous of others who have more children and don't worry about how will they make it. We could have more children, but dh is gone all the time right now with 1st job and trying to get into his next career path, and I'm trying to do all I can to help us save money financially. I know I wouldn't be able to keep up if we have another baby and last time was hard enough, it scares me to death. So while I long for another child, I fear it would be the straw that broke the camels back.

 

WOW that's a really long list!

[crazycoffeechic]

I am jealous of all of you who have houses with big kitchens, homeschool rooms and gardens. I'm pretty sure we will forever live in apartments. I am also jealous of you that have daughters that you get along with. Mine went to live with her dad a few years ago and it's like she doesn't have anything to do with us anymore. I know it's her dad's doing, so maybe when she grows older, she will know the difference between me and her dad and we will be together again.

 

I am grateful for my dh who loves me even when I make the wrong decisions, for him having a job that pays our bills so I don't have to work and we don't have to worry about money. I seriously don't know what I would do without him. I am also grateful for my son, I hope I am doing him some good by homeschooling him. He is a pain in the patooey sometimes, but when he is gone to his dads house, I miss him like crazy!

[Emmy]

This is a really neat thread - I agree, there are so many posts I've read that give me pause and make me say, wow - yes, I'm grateful for that too.

 

 

Jealous.....as shallow as I feel saying it, I twinge with jealousy over other people's larger homes. When my dh and I bought our home 8 years ago it was larger and nicer than any of our current young married couple friends and we had parties and friends from church over constantly. 8 years later and most of our friends from church are in far larger homes with much more space than we have. Suddenly plans are always made at someone else's house because "there's more room for everyone". My dh was laid off from work for nearly 2 years a while back and we will feel the impact for years, if not forever - and the greatest impact of course is that we are still in our first home. But really - it feels so foolish to even say it out loud. I'm sad because I can't have big parties at my house? :p It's all good - I tell myself everyday that our family is enormously blessed to have more toys and books than we have room for and that having double the number of people to bedrooms is a blessing too. :)

 

Grateful....I'm grateful for my husband. God brought us together and we are perfect for each other, we are truly best friends and spend almost all of his non-working time together. We talk for hours everyday and and we love, love LOVE to spend time together. I am so grateful for our marriage and relationship and his support of me in all that I do.

[iquilt]

I am completely jealous of all of the new inground pools appearing on our street - I wish we had the $ to do that.

 

I am truly thankful that I get to stay home with my kiddos and that dh is totally on board with everything that we want for our family. I guess the pool is fairly insignificant :).

[PrairieAir]

I haven't read all the replies, but I notice that some of you have said you are not really jealous or that it is more envy than jealousy. For the most part I am not a jealous or an envious person. That isn't because I have everything I could ever want!

 

When I see someone who has something I would like to have, I usually am glad they are able to have it. I don't (as some have said) begrudge them of having it, particularly not where material things are concerned.

 

For example, when I read Ree's blog and learned about the type of camera she had and then her new upgrade, I was impressed. I thought, "Wow, I'd like to have a camera like that." I had never even really heard about dSLRs and all their different types before. I did begin to think about buying one some day and plan how I might do that. I wasn't in a hurry though. I figured it was a long way off and I'd learn and do what I could with my point and shoot in the meantime. Wanting a better camera didn't keep me from enjoying the camera I had or from enjoying Ree's blog.

 

Ree's actually a very good example. Her life seems so perfect and wonderful in many ways, and I've heard people express that thought in various ways on her blog and on this board. She is a very blessed woman, but I am sure that she has trials of her own, and she has said as much. When I read her blog, more than anything I am just so happy for her and glad that she is willing to share some of the details of her life with others. Of course she also writes about her life in a way that rather than making me envious makes me thankful for the blessings in my own life.

 

When I read Mental Multivitamin, I sometimes wish homeschooling flowed so well for me or that I was a better writer or a better manager of my time or a better teacher. I'm not MFS, though, and I'm glad I'm who I am and that she is who she is. She inspires me in so many ways, but I do not need to be exactly like her. She has trials just like the rest of us, too. Some of them probably have to do with school and writing.

 

There are so many people on this board who are talented in ways that I am not and have things that I do not have, but I am not jealous of them. I'm glad that Colleen and her family can travel. I'm impressed with Colleen and Elaine's running--I can't run a block without getting winded. I enjoy seeing the talent of people like Percytruffle and Miz Booshay. When people say they are finally debt free, I rejoice with them even though we have loans on two houses and our car and some credit card debt to boot. When people talk about their healthy diets and big vegetable gardens, I think, "Man, maybe someday I'll be that good," but I'm happy that they have achieved that and are willing to offer their advice here. Amy makes the most delicious smelling and beautiful soaps and from the looks of her home projects is rather artistic. I'd like to try some of those things, but the reality is I probably won't, so I just enjoy seeing hers. Quiver has more than twice as many children as I do, and I think she must be a very patient woman. I know four was the right number for us, but sometimes I wish I had the patience of some of the women I see. Seeing them in action shows me it is possible and encourages me to work on it. I wish I felt confident in a cat suit like Peekaboo! But that's not really me anyway:001_smile:

 

I could go on and on with this list. My point is that I don't want to be anyone other than who I am. I might like to be a better me, and you all inspire me to be that all the time by your words and examples. You show me what is possible if I want it. When it comes to the things you all have that are not possible for me to have, I am just happy to see that someone has it and live vicariously through you. We can't be everything and we can't have everything. We can be content with the blessings which we have and be inspired to do more and greater things by the examples we see.

 

Have I ever been jealous? Well, those feelings have started to creep in from time to time (the "gym moms" and a SIL for example), but it never goes very far for me. I'll have a feeling of bitterness toward someone and if I stop to think about why and find that the root is jealousy or envy that turns it around immediately. The thought of my being jealous sickens me. It makes me feel so deeply ashamed! When I start to feel that way, I work hard in the opposite direction. When I realized I was starting to feel that way about my "perfect" SIL, I looked for all the good things I could find about her and I made an effort to find common ground. When I realized that's why I didn't like the other gym moms, I forced myself to talk to them and get to know them a little better. In both situations I found that I didn't really dislike them and I didn't really want what they had. I was insecure about myself and imagined that they were looking down their noses at me.

 

Jealousy is a waste of time and it is a sickness that grows until it blocks out all the light and joy in your life. Thankfulness is the opposite and it grows the more you practice it as well.

[Jami]

Let's see...

 

I admit to being a bit envious of those of you with hardwood floors (I hate, hate, HATE carpet) or who live in older, interesting homes in beautiful, interesting cities. Laura (to be in Scotland) has me about drooling with talk of old stone homes in Scotland. ;)

 

Little bit of jealousy towards those of you that can make a home beautiful and food taste amazing. I'm no decorator and an adequate, but not a terrific cook.

 

And um, those of you with "more talkative" (remember the "chatTing" thread) husbands. I wouldn't mind a tad more gregariousness here. ;)

 

I envy those of you who live near enough to family to see them every few weeks or weekends. I'd love to be nearer to my parents and sister.

 

On to gratitude...

 

I have a really wonderful husband. :) Not only is he quite nice to look at, he's helpful, fun, an awesome dad, a creative thinker, and a motivated employee. He takes great care of us and helps make our home a fun, interesting place to be.

 

My children are smart, energetic, friendly and willing to play creatively for large amounts of time while I neglect them. ;)

 

I have a loving, supportive church family that values worship and community.

 

I have great relationships and receive encouragement and support from my in-laws and parents, sister and brother. I just wish they were all closer!

 

I live in a great area to homeschool, so many neat opportunities, the hardest thing is choosing and using resources wisely!

[Athena]

I am jealous of those who have financial stability. Every morning I get up and wonder if my car will be gone. We turned it over in court so I know its going, just don't know when.

 

But I am grateful for the financial mess in some ways because my DH has completely been freed from the stress. He is like a new man. Fun, joking & playing with me & the kids. It's good to have him back!

 

-Christy

[Liza Q]

Wow - I have been tearing up, reading some of these.....

 

I am envious of everyone who has their own washing machine/dryer - I am 42 and I have never had a washer/dryer and I am just tired of the laundry being such a *thing*.

 

I am envious of everyone who has a yard, or at least lives in a neighborhood with clean safe parks nearby.

 

I am envious of everyone who, like someone said before, can think and function in a straight line - I am always on a tangent and it saps my energy.

 

I am envious of everyone who can not just lose the weight, but can keep it off - I just can't focus on it long enough for it to *stick*.

 

I am envious of everyone who still has all their children alive and healthy - no memories of hospitals and suffering, no Mother's Day and birthday trips to the cemetery, no constant misery.

 

I am grateful for a husband who loves me no matter what - we are even better friends (and things in the, um, bedroom, keep getting better as well!) than we were 20 years ago.

 

I am grateful for his job - great benefits, enough $$ that I can stay home, homeschool and go to Disney World from time to time - and still have no debt and some $$ in the bank.

 

I am grateful that I have four children living - even when they drive me crazy, I am so glad that they are here.

 

I am grateful that even when I am tired of God, He seems not to be tired of me.

[Brindee]

I wish I could go on a mission trip every year! I wish I could go back to Kenya again! I wish I could send money to the guy that was our interpretor while we were in Kenya---He's trying to become a Pastor, but is struggling with the school fees! :( I wish I was as organized as some of you all too! When I look at my mess it fries my brain, then I can't do a thing! I wish I didn't get headaches every day, and wish my dh14 didn't get headaches either!

 

I don't know if I can put down everything I'm thankful for!

 

I am amazingly and deeply thankful for my dear husband! He loves me so much, works so hard, is honest, caring, great with the kids, supportive of whatever my homeschool decisions are, oh man......I can't even begin to describe how blessed I feel to be married to him for over 20 years now and still be deeply in love!

 

I am thankful for my 3 dear, and healthy, children and the wonderful relationship we have! I have two teens that love their parents and are even proud of them! We laugh together a lot--I LOVE that! We have family worship together every night, and dh and I go into each room for a special goodnight with each one. I, being the mom, kiss each one goodnight every night as well---yes, even my teenage boys! They put up with it! :lol: I actually think they'd miss it if I didn't, since I've done it since they can remember!

 

I am thankful dh's and my children got his intelligence! :D I am thankful all three of them are doing well in school, despite me! I am thankful that we don't have the sibling bickering like we used to!

 

I am thankful for our home, and that by dedicating it to God we can serve others that God leads our way! We have lots of after church meals, knitting group, get-togethers of different sorts....it's all good! Our carpets and floors have stains and stuff, but that's okay, I'd rather have people and stains, than pristine home and no people!

 

I am thankful for my parents and my in-laws. They support and encourage dh and I in our homeschool journey and the way we raise our kids. Even if they may not agree with choices we make (in-laws used to be unsure of our homeschooling choice), they NEVER put us down or criticise us! We have a GREAT relationship with both sets of parents!

 

I am thankful for the school we found for ds17. He was plateauing here and needing something else---spiritually, mentally and physically! I prayed a lot, he ended up at the school, and it was a huge blessing for him! He'll be a senior in highschool there next year.

 

Wow, I could go on and on! Friends, and of COURSE this board and you all!

 

Oh, one more thing. I was having foot problems, and someone here started a thread on the very thing I was experiencing! I got some heel inserts someone suggested, and my feet are sooo much better! What a HUGE blessing that was! I can now go shopping and other things without hobbling around for hours afterwards! THANKYOU!

 

I will stop now. Thankyou for this thread that helps us be aware of all we really do have!

[ereks mom]

I envy people who have stable finances. I don't so much envy their "stuff," but I do envy their lack of stress over money.

 

I'm thankful for a husband that works his butt off so I can stay home with our kids. I'm also thankful for a mom that is one of my best friends.

 

I admit I'm sometimes envious of those who have nicer & newer houses & can afford the upkeep, who have nicer & newer cars (& gas to go in them), who get to shop for groceries without counting every penny, who get to eat out more than just once in awhile, and who get to go shopping for new clothes every season.

 

BUT... just this morning, I woke up feeling that God was telling me, "Count your blessings"!

 

I am thankful that our family is happy & healthy, that we are close & loving, and that we have a house to live in, a car to drive, food to eat, and clothes to wear. I am thankful that my children are such good kids, that they know Christ as their Savior, and that they have made Him Lord of their lives. I am thankful that my Savior loves me and provides for every need.

[Heather in Neverland]

Heather,

You rock! But of course I already knew that from the FIAR board!

 

I am a little jealous of those who have a "school room". It would be nice not to have to remove the owl pellets and globe from the table before we eat dinner! :D

 

I have a list a mile long of things I am grateful for. Most importantly I am thankful for the gift of salvation that our Lord gave us through his son Jesus Christ. Also I am thankful for a husband who loves me like crazy, works hard and tucks all of us girls in bed every night. Also my beautiful daughters. Each of them is precious and have so many gifts and attributes. And they are healthy.

 

Nakia!!!!!!!

 

I am so glad to "see" you again! When you left the FIAR boards I thought that I would never hear from you again. How fun that you are here! :party:

[LauraGB]

For one, I am thankful for this thread and the wonderful community here. I needed this today. When I first started to read it this morning, I got to page three and couldn't even see through the tears welled up in my eyes. The intimacy shown here always amazes me. It was shortly after page 3 that I discovered our water is undrinkable, so rather than typing a flippant response right then about how I envy those with a respectable water supply and those who don't have creepy, pervy neighbors, I decided to just wait and think about it. What I came up with was interesting. It seems most of the things I'm envious of morph into the things I'm thankful for.

 

I'm envious of those who have thier own house. We share ours with three mentally ill/developmentally disabled men for whom we care. I would really like to have a house for just our family. Now, I'm thankful to know these men, and for the patience and understanding they have taught me over the years. I'm also grateful for a house and hearts that are big enough that allows us to provide this for these men. They have been with us nearly as long as our own dc and I care deeply for them.

 

I'm envious of those moms whose bellies went back to any form of human. I am the poster child for abdominoplasty, but my pharmaphobia will not allow me to do it ;) , eventhough my vanity screams for it. But, I am thankful for the 2 (enormous) babies for whom I was a healthy vessle and that they were born healthy, beautiful and intelligent. They, too, have taught me patience and unconditional love.

 

I am envious of those whose husbands actually listen to them. I can't go to thankful with this one, I don't think. I am, however, thankful that dh is smart and a good provider and that he is a genuinely decent and good person. And that he loves me. And our family. As trying as he may be, he makes a good partner. Perhaps if he did listen, I wouldn't stop talking?;) I am also thankful that he is an original thinker, always with a workable plan for the future.

 

I am insanely envious of those of you who are semi or entirely self sufficient. I would love to have lots of land, a garden that would feed us all year, chickens for eggs and a cow for milk. Not a big house (don't love the cleaning), just one big enough for us. Someday, when we grow up.

 

I'm also a wee bit envious of those of you who trust wholeheartedly in your faith. I spent a lot of time wishing I did over the years, but am now comfortable with where I am with this. But I still think it would be comforting to be able to throw your hands in the air and let your faith take over somedays. I know so many people who have had such terrible traumatic experiences (the kind that would do me in completely), but have survived stronger because of thier faith. That is truly a special gift.

 

Since we are being so honest, I am insanely jealous of those of you with itty bitty 3 day monthly cycles. Seriously.

 

I am thankful for all my rotton experiences, mistakes and the like because they have made me wiser and stronger. I wouldn't want to repeat any of them, but I wouldn't trade them, either.

 

And for everyone on this board. Thanks you for all your wisdom.

[sassenach]

I hear you sister. Ah, but what a mixed blessing it is to have this vantage point. Wish we could get the wisdom, without walking through the pain...

 

 

I'll play.

 

I am envious of those of you who have perfectly healthy kids, who only see your child's pediatrician once-a-year instead of a team of -ologists, weekly therapies, the guilt of your child's early birth, his massive brain bleed and the fact his life is forever different because of his birth. I envy those of you who go where you want to go, any time of year, never considering the contagiousness or illnesses of people who are there.

 

I envy those of you get really big and pregnant in your third trimesters and give birth to whopping 7+ pounders who come out screaming and pink. I would love to feel confident about having more babies. But I'll never put another child through the NICU again. So my 3 are all we'll have. We're so lucky to have all 3.

 

I am grateful for the husband that most women dream about... who loves me, provides for us, is a strong daddy and a good man. He built us a beautiful home, works his tail off, and has made our life comfortable and secure. I am so thankful for 3 beautiful boys.

 

Great thread.

[Sharon H in IL]

I'm jealous of such tiny aspects of people's lives that they sound silly when I put them into actual coherent thoughts, much less type them out.

 

I'm jealous of people who have engaged, loving parents. Well, I had an engaged, loving mom for an entire lucky childhood and part of my adulthood; I can truly say I appreciated her while I had her. My dad loves me, but he's a perfect example of an absent-minded professor, and forgets about anyone's existence unless they're standing in front of him. See? This gets me impatient with myself when I have twinges of jealousy reading about involved and loving grandparents for their children.

 

I'm jealous of fit, trim women who aren't in pain from short runs, and who don't get heatstroke if they try to exercise outdoors when the temps are over 68 degrees. But my physical condition is my own choice, eh? Lifting too many cookies, and not enough weights!

 

I'm jealous of women with husbands who treat them as if they *like* them. I know mine loves me, but he frequently acts as if he doesn't actually like me. I spent years walking on eggshells around him not to make things worse. He's getting better, really better. But golly, those 20 years aren't going to come back. But when I compare notes with other women about husbands, I don't think I could stand to deal with theirs, yk? :lol:

 

The list of things I'm thankful for is so much more substantive and real.

 

I'm happy to be a SAHM with money worries that I can leave to DH to handle. And he does. Not in the way I would, but I gave up trying to ride every horse in the corral. His way works, so that's good enough.

 

I'm grateful for children I like to be around. The hard work of early childhood is beginning to bear fruit. It's great fun, and you get to enjoy life twice by seeing everything through their eyes as well.

 

I'm grateful for the mind and leisure to dip into the writings of the world's great minds. SWB, for example. ;)

[Scarlett]

I've read every reply and I am ready to play. :)

 

Envious of

 

People who live simply and debt free.

The bodies of 25 year old trim fit women.

The gumption to get up off my rear and get in shape even though I will never be 25 again.

Women who say their dh is their best friend and that they are so happy with their choice of a mate.

College educations

People who drive paid for cars newer than 15 years old

Those who have many children

 

Thankful for

My Faith and my Religion

My ds who is the joy of my life

My dh whose hard work and earning power allow me to stay home and hs ds

Having an intact family---even though my marriage isn't perfect

My mother who is always there for me and such a wonderful person

My step-dad who is always there for my mom the last 7 years.

Clean hot water every time I step into my shower.

[frogpond1]

This is a tough thread. Perhaps instead of the envy thing I'd pick my top wishes:

 

1. A chance to go on the mission field for a couple years overseas with my family.

2. An office for my husband outside of the home.

3. Money for art and music lessons.

 

Things I'm thankful for:

1. My husband teaching with me.

2. My yard for my kids.

3. My friends.

[Closeacademy]

What are you a little bit (or a lot) jealous of that you've read about on these boards?

 

I get a bit envious of schoolrooms. I'd love to have a room dedicated to school that was not the dark basement or scattered around the house. I also wish I had a place to put all the books out so that we could look at them at any time rather than packed away until needed.

 

What do you have that you are truly grateful for that others might wish they had?

 

My dh's job. He is in sales and makes the trip every year to great locations where we stay in a top hotel and get to be feted for three to five days.

:001_smile:

[Kay in Cal]

Envious of:

 

Those who own their own homes, and how beautiful so many of them are!

 

Those who are super organized and whose homes run like clockwork.

 

Those who honestly enjoy exercise.

 

Those with super-compliant children with no behavioral issues.

 

Financial stability, and the ability to stay home full time.

 

Those who dream of growing old with their dh. People whose lives are not centered around medical visits and issues for themselves or a family member. We came so close to losing my dh 3 years ago, and the repurcussions will always be with us. Financially and emotionally, it is hard to get my head around knowing that dh's health will always be fragile. It has truly changed my vision of what my older years will be like.

 

 

 

Grateful for:

 

A calling that I love, and the flexibility to be home as often as I am.

 

Healthy children.

 

A dh who is a wonderful father, willing to embrace being a SAHD, who communicates well and loves me--after 15 years of marriage (next week) I can still say I am married to my best friend.

 

Loving parents, wonderful inlaws and extended family--they may live far away, but they are always there for us when we need them.

 

Good friends, a church who cares about us... and so much more. A roof over our heads, food to eat, access to education and health care (medical insurance!). I know we are so blessed.