Lefty or righty, my 4.5 year old can't decide!

[sarah1615]

My 4.5 yo is starting pre-k with me this summer. We are having a bit of trouble figuring out if he is left or right handed. He just switches back and forth and doesn't seem to be really strong with either hand. He also alternates feet when kicking a ball, etc although I think he has been picking his right more often lately. What should I do--make him pick a hand and stick with it or keep letting him alternate back and forth? I know he's still young, but he likes to write certain letters lefty and other letters righty so he is always switching hands back and forth while practicing any handwriting. Any thoughts or ideas are appreciated!

[Tidbits of Learning]

Let him continue with what feels comfortable for him. I did this with my kids. They were all at one point using their left hand and right hand. You do not want to force a child to choose which hand.

[AnnaM]

Let him continue with what feels comfortable for him. I did this with my kids. They were all at one point using their left hand and right hand. You do not want to force a child to choose which hand.

 

 

:iagree:

[threeofakind]

:iagree:

With my daughter it was finally clear at the end of her preschool years.

[Roadrunner]

Which hand does she use for eating? I knew my son was a lefty when he grabbed a spoon at 7 months. He uses a right foot to kick the ball, but left hand for everything. I do have an uncle who can write with both hands without a problem.

[fraidycat]

My Dad is ambidextrous. His handwriting looks exactly the same, no matter which hand he uses, and he can use either hand with equal accuracy for other things like swinging a hammer, etc.

[DianeW88]

Let him continue with what feels comfortable for him. I did this with my kids. They were all at one point using their left hand and right hand. You do not want to force a child to choose which hand.

 

:iagree: You may not even know until he's 6 or 7 in some cases. My lefty switched back and forth for quite awhile.

[Critterfixer]

One of my boys went through about the first quarter of K swapping hands. He eventually ended up going with the right hand. I didn't do anything beyond showing him the proper grip and positioning for left handed and right handed handwriting.

I'm not ambidextrous myself, but my great-grandfather was. I can write with both hands, but the left is much weaker and sloppy.

[AmyontheFarm]

My son has motor delays and the therapist said that some kids are 8 before they finally decide. Until then, go ahead and teach them to form their letters with both hands if they wish too. We used to draw the letters in sand or rice. Don't push a specific hand. My sister places the fork and spoon above the plate so her child can pick it up with either hand.

[She Reads a Lot]

Here's a cautionary tale about letting someone else choose your kiddo's handedness :glare:. BEFORE I figured out how great HSing is, older ds went to ps and younger ds (who I now HS) went to preschool.

 

Apparently, the preschool teacher didn't pay attention to ds's tendencies and taught him how to hold a pencil/start writing right handed. I win the clueless Mom award b/c I only noticed when it was too late that he was using a lightsaber left handed, wanted to bat left handed in T-ball, and struggled with right-handed scissors.

 

My dad and ds's uncle are both lefties, and I strongly suspect that he should have been left handed, too, but he never got the chance. Fine motor is super difficult for him, and I wonder if writing would have been easier for him (it's still a bit difficult for him at 8) if he'd learned to hold a pencil left handed. But by the time I noticed all of this, it felt more awkward to him to hold a pencil left handed than right handed. We tried a bunch of times, and really neither hand felt comfortable to him at age 6, but he ended up choosing his right hand.

 

So while the switching back and forth might seem tedious to you, I agree with the other posters who say let the kiddo take time to decide. I really wish ds had had that chance!!

 

Christina

[NASDAQ]

My lefty settled on a dominant hand quite late. I also think it's common for lefties to be more comfortable using their right hand than righties are using their left hand.

 

You might want to make sure though that he's meeting his other motor skills milestones.

[ProudGrandma]

Let him continue with what feels comfortable for him. I did this with my kids. They were all at one point using their left hand and right hand. You do not want to force a child to choose which hand.

 

 

:iagree: my youngest couldn't decide and in fact he still does some things as a lefty and some as a righty.

[Marsha SC]

My youngest daughter was the same way in Kindergarten. She would write with her left, then eat with her right. Now, at eight (almost nine) she writes with her left, and eats with her right. In taekwondo, she dominates on the right side, but some kicks are better with the left. When she crotches, it is with her left hand. In tennis, she prefers to be right handed...mostly. She works with both sides. We call her a lefty, but she is more than that. She is herself.

 

Let them decided what is more comfortable. They will be happier in the long run.

 

Marsha

[sarah1615]

My husband is a lefty and DS2 has always seemed to favor his left a bit more, but within the past year or so he has definitely been going back and forth. I'm glad for all the advice here since I wasn't sure whether it would be better to have him pick a hand and build up strength in it or whether we should just let him figure it out. Seems everyone agrees that letting him figure it out himself is the best approach and after reading all the responses I agree too!

 

You might want to make sure though that he's meeting his other motor skills milestones.

 

I do feel like he is a bit behind with his fine motor skills since he's not really strong with either hand. He also has a hard time with silverware and looks kind of awkward using either hand. Is there something else I should be keeping an eye on with that? I kind of assumed it was more of a problem of going back and forth so much that he hasn't built up enough strength and skill yet. That said, my husband had/has learning disabilities and ADHD so I'm always on the lookout for any possible issues.

[historymatters]

My dd switched hands till quite late; in fact she still is quite handy with both. By the time she was around 8, I did start reminding her to only use her left hand for eating because when she used her right it was messier; but she could do her artwork as a lefty or righty for quite a long time. She has now (age 11) settled on her left hand.

 

my husband ws ambidextrous when he was little, though favoring the left; however the nuns forced him to be right-handed and now he can do very little with the left. She did have motor skills issues, which is why, later at 6, I had her use HWT.

 

Mydd still has weakness in her fingers, as far as grip goes, so I don't go to her to open up jars! She pushes too hard on stuff, but is also able to grab, with her fingers, the smallest bug/insect; she's an amazing artist and can draw incredible things with little training and likes small, detailed work. She has sensory issues, but they have become managable and do not determine her choices for her.

 

Just have him keep doing normal, child-like, creative things (I don't mean pushing buttons on a video game or touch screen) with his fingers and hands that promote dexterity and strength without worrying about it too much.

 

Simply, I wouldn't worry about it. Eventually he'll settle it on his own or be completely ambidextrous; either way, it's okay. Besides at his age, there's no need to push any formal pencil writing anyway.

 

Rachel

Edited June 28, 2012 by Messianicmom

[Momma_Bear]

My Dad is ambidextrous. His handwriting looks exactly the same, no matter which hand he uses, and he can use either hand with equal accuracy for other things like swinging a hammer, etc.

 

One of my kids is ambidextrous, I think it's really cool!

 

Agreeing with the other that you should wait until he chooses one. My lefty kept switching until she was around 7. :001_smile:

[NASDAQ]

Sarah, I just mention it because establishing hand preference is a developmental milestone. I think it's common for lefties to establish later, but if he isn't meeting other milestones, you might want to raise the possibility of an occupational therapy screening with his doctor, kwim? I don't want to worry you; I just remember that with my daughter, it was something that came up.

[MeganW]

Well, I'll be the voice of dissention. At age 5, when my kids were repeating 4K, TWO of my kids hadn't settled on a hand. As they had 1/2 their practice with their left hand & half with their right, they were beginning to notice that they did not have the same fine motor skills as their peers and be upset about it.

 

With the OT's permission, we began gently encouraging right handedness. We only picked that b/c we didn't think there was a preference, and our society is set up for righties. One of the two has gorgeous handwriting & coloring now. The other looks pretty average. My guess is that they were probably both not truly dominant on either side.

 

It has been a real challenge in other sports. Swimming - which side to learn to breathe to, baseball - they never pick the same side twice in a row to swing with, throwing, etc. With swimming it was easy to just skip teaching one side only and go to both once we realized what the issue was, but the other sports have been an ongoing challenge!