Pregnancy Pact

[Kate CA]

So, have you seen this news story? I am fairly dumbfounded by it, honestly. When I was going to my large public high school there was one girl, the entire four years I went there, who got pregnant and came to school that way. (If there were others I was not aware of it.)

 

I am trying to figure out if these girls are just totally clueless as to the responsibilities that come with motherhood or if they think their parents will take care of their baby or ?? Other than the obvious, what is the cause of this kind of dangerous behavior? (The reported father of one of the babies was a homeless man!) I don't really understand this at all. Do your local schools have a high rate of teen pregnancy? What would cause these girls to make this choice and in this way?

[Jenstet]

It seems crazy doesn't it. I live in NH and it is all over the news. Now the principal is saying the whole "pact" was a hoax. Pact or not they have a lot of pregnant girls. Regardless of how you feel about sex ed and contraceptives in the schools, it seems strange for those 2 faculty members to resign over it. It wouldn't have mattered if they had a bowl of condoms on every desk, these girls wanted to get pregnant. I am sure there is much more to the story.

I think it is a cop out to blame a movie. If a movie has that much impact on your child there are bigger problems in your family. I think they may have hit on something when talking about broken families. Kind of the same reasons kids gravitate towards gangs. Lack of a strong family connection, a need for a sense of belonging and importance. I think there are a lot of factors but it is a sad situation.

[TammyinTN]

:iagree: I'm just in absolute shock about this! I can't imagine a baby at 16...good grief!:001_huh:

[JWSJ]

In the poor rural area where I went to high school (15 years ago) it was common knowledge of quite a few girls that were interested in having a baby. Usually graduating or having a husband was considered afterward.

 

Recently, my niece graduated from the same area. The teen pregnancy rate (now over 10%) has gotten worse there. The girls see a baby as a romanticized escape from boredom. At my niece's high school the girls that already have children and/or are pregnant have a "Mommy's club" for playdates, etc. None of them are married. Most are on some form of government assistance.

 

Not surprisingly, these girls stay in the same poor rural area they consider boring.

[battlemaiden]

It seems crazy doesn't it. I live in NH and it is all over the news. Now the principal is saying the whole "pact" was a hoax. Pact or not they have a lot of pregnant girls. Regardless of how you feel about sex ed and contraceptives in the schools, it seems strange for those 2 faculty members to resign over it. It wouldn't have mattered if they had a bowl of condoms on every desk, these girls wanted to get pregnant. I am sure there is much more to the story.

I think it is a cop out to blame a movie. If a movie has that much impact on your child there are bigger problems in your family. I think they may have hit on something when talking about broken families. Kind of the same reasons kids gravitate towards gangs. Lack of a strong family connection, a need for a sense of belonging and importance. I think there are a lot of factors but it is a sad situation.

 

Pact or not- 150 pregnancy tests were performed in that school last year out of 1200 students. That is amazing to me. 150 pg tests given. :001_huh: Sheesh.

[angela in ohio]

The article I read quoted a pregnant girl from the school as saying that her parents would help out with the baby. The school also has a daycare for them. And society has become more accepting of teen pregnancies. At the same time, when faced with bad family situations, there is a draw to have someone who will "always love me." So the desire to have the baby is getting stronger than any fear from the difficulties that might be faced, as those are being diminished. They are going to need to change that situation to turn the trend around.

[Lisa at Home]

It's sad that they feel so unloved; I remember feeling the same way. I am thankful every day of my life that I wasn't pregnant at 16!

 

I'm sure the girls don't spend a lot of time thinking about the realities of bringing up a child, but have Gerber baby images swirling through their heads of how life will be sweet...if only they had something to love and be loved by that was all their very own.

[lynn]

This has been so hard on my sister that is having infertility issues. All the press is just crushing her and I am sure so many others who are married and want children of their own but can't. But they have see some stupid teens bragging about their pregnancy and how great life is going to be with a baby.

[hillfarm]

How ironic that these girls from "broken families" don't take a hard look at how they feel about their mothers and realize that may well be the way their relationship with their child will go in 16 years.

 

I once heard a sermon about how to help someone who has fallen into a pit. You don't make them more comfortable in the pit, you don't run electric down into the pit, cater in meals, airlift in nice furniture. You help them out of the pit. IMO, by making the circumstances of single teen motherhood so pleasant (clubs, daycares, baby showers, etc.) we are making the pit more comfortable.

 

We could try to help them avoid the pit. Perhaps a mandatory stint helping in the daycare for both male and female students during their Jr. High or Freshman years would give them a better picture of the responsibility of child care. A few months of diapers, burp cloths, teething, and also temper tantrums, willful disobedience, biting and other toddler behavior problems would serve to take the bloom off the parenthood concept.

 

What happens when those babies grow up to be mouthy, to demand mommy's time and resources, to restrict her social life? When the pit gets uncomfortable, I suspect many of those girls will be quick to abandon it. Unfortunately by that time, there will be other lives at stake. And who will be expected to tend those left behind in the pit then?

[KSGrace]

I was one of 4 girls who became pregnant during my senior year of high school (there were only 70 students in my grade so that is A LOT). My mother did help me out but not the way the other girl's families did. She was a good back up and there for me but my son was MY responsibility. The other girls continued to party and have fun like nothing had happened. The three other girls each were pregnant AGAIN within 2 years. IMO, their families made it too easy for them. They never had to see that babies are HARD work...that children require sacrifice.

 

I didn't have another baby for 10 years. LOL

[mom31257]

My dh teaches at a public high school here. He says they should come visit there if they want a news story. Our county has one of the highest pregnancy rates in GA. We also have the most section 8 housing in the state, or so we've been told. He teaches 10th grade World History. He is dumbfounded at the number of students that will come up and proudly say, "Have you seen a picture of my baby?". It's an epidemic here. We have such poverty here, that I guess more babies means more economic assistance.

It just seems to be acceptable, if not encouraged, in the poorer culture here to have children out of wedlock and at a young age.

 

Amy of GA

Darin's wife for 17 years

11yo dd

5yo ds

[Kate CA]

How ironic that these girls from "broken families" don't take a hard look at how they feel about their mothers and realize that may well be the way their relationship with their child will go in 16 years.

 

I once heard a sermon about how to help someone who has fallen into a pit. You don't make them more comfortable in the pit, you don't run electric down into the pit, cater in meals, airlift in nice furniture. You help them out of the pit. IMO, by making the circumstances of single teen motherhood so pleasant (clubs, daycares, baby showers, etc.) we are making the pit more comfortable.

 

We could try to help them avoid the pit. Perhaps a mandatory stint helping in the daycare for both male and female students during their Jr. High or Freshman years would give them a better picture of the responsibility of child care. A few months of diapers, burp cloths, teething, and also temper tantrums, willful disobedience, biting and other toddler behavior problems would serve to take the bloom off the parenthood concept.

 

What happens when those babies grow up to be mouthy, to demand mommy's time and resources, to restrict her social life? When the pit gets uncomfortable, I suspect many of those girls will be quick to abandon it. Unfortunately by that time, there will be other lives at stake. And who will be expected to tend those left behind in the pit then?

 

This is really true. It just makes me sad for the end result, These babies will not have whole families--and on purpose. I keep thinking how can this even remotely be desirable for these girls? Do they not see that the babies grow up to need training and care and love - and that that means hard work and sacrifice? I think you have really hit upon some strong points. I just cannot get their choice out of my mind.

[Phred]

At the same time, when faced with bad family situations, there is a draw to have someone who will "always love me." So the desire to have the baby is getting stronger than any fear from the difficulties that might be faced, as those are being diminished. They are going to need to change that situation to turn the trend around.

There you go. They aren't thinking about what's going to happen in the future, they aren't thinking about the responsibility of raising a child. They're thinking about what the baby can give to them. They just want something that will love them no matter what.

 

Get a puppy.