Are you a homebody? Were you always?

[Doran]

I think of myself as gregarious. I'd like to think of myself as spontaneous. But, there are times lately (and it seems somewhat frequent) when I am neither. It feels out of character for me to be this way. I never used to pass up an opportunity to be "out among 'em". I don't want to become a stodgy old person who prefers to sit at her computer and visit with online friends instead of going out into the real world to connect with real friends.

 

Here are the facts - bear with me, this isn't entirely chronological.

 

The girls and I were out Tuesday night and last night for our karate classes. I was out Wednesday night for dd2's piano and gymnastics classes. In each case, we left home late in the afternoon (5ish), and returned home sometime after 8:30 pm. I spent most of the daytime hours at home, and was only away from home for a few hours each evening. Of course, dh was at work during the day.

 

This Sunday, the girls and I will be gone *all day* to a karate tournament. These happen three times a year.

 

Sunday is also my husband's birthday, and I am disappointed that none of us will be home that day. He's not big on birthdays, but I don't like to let them go completely unobserved. I figured we could spend some time together on Saturday night instead.

 

Saturday night, some lady friends have planned a special gathering for one of our circle who is about to give birth to a second child. There will be much laughter, good energy, bonding. These are very special events, and I generally feel very invigorated by them. But, I've responded to this invitation with a "maybe", saying that I'm planning to spend the evening with my husband and/or family. I thought I'd stop in for an hour to say hello but not stay for the entire evening.

 

This afternoon, a friend called to say that she was inviting me and a very small selection of other ladies (4 total) to her home for a spontaneous Solstice celebration. I told her that I was honored, and that I needed to think about it.

 

So....

 

 

I've been thinking about it for over an hour now, and I still don't have much of an inclination to go. Dd (13) says, "Mom, you should go. You know you'll have fun once you get there." She's right about that. Dh is entirely supportive. He has NO problem with me going to any or all of these events, and he in no way sends me mixed messages on that. But, I am still feeling more drawn to staying home tonight, despite the fact that I'm also bowing out of the full kahoona tomorrow night. I have no "good reason" for declining tonight, which makes me feel odd, and maybe a little ungracious.

 

I'm wondering if it's lack of spontaneity -- had I known sooner, would I have made a plan to go? Is it lack of motivation -- if it didn't require some effort, gathering Solstice offerings, showering and dressing appropriately (maybe bringing food to share and definitely coming up with ideas for what my family should eat in my absence) would I jump at this opportunity? Am I becoming like my father who never wants to go anywhere? Am I reacting to fuel prices, thinking ahead to next week when I will be driving to the next town (where everything happens - just 8 miles away) everyday but Friday? Is it just that I've been out the past three nights and was looking forward to being a blob tonight? There's been a lot of blob happening today, so it's not like I haven't had time to recuperate. So, is it that blob breeds blob? ;)

 

Is there something wrong with me, or does all this sound totally normal to you?

 

 

I think I need therapy. Or a Mike's. Wait....maybe Mike's IS therapy.

[Mom2legomaniacs]

Well, I hope you come to the conclusion that you are normal, because you sound just like me! Wait, what's my blog title? Oh yeah, we are making our own way for normal.

 

I am turning in to a huge homebody. I won't go into all the stuff, but I have learned that I am content in my own space and that's okay. It's a good thing.

 

And Mike's is therapy. So is knitting (for me). :001_smile:

[LizzyBee]

I think I need therapy. Or a Mike's. Wait....maybe Mike's IS therapy.

 

I tried some Arbor Mist therapy because it looks so good on the TV advertisements. Turns out it's only 6% therapy. I think I need stronger therapy.

 

I'm not a homebody, and never have been. But I'm not very spontaneous, either. I like to go the mountains, but when I get there I'm perfectly content to sit and read a book.

[5kidsforME]

 

Is there something wrong with me, or does all this sound totally normal to you?

 

 

I think I need therapy. Or a Mike's. Wait....maybe Mike's IS therapy.

 

 

OK just a question I am not trying to psycho-analize (major spelling issue right there!:tongue_smilie:) you. Could you possibly be a little down? That is the first thing that came to mind. The second is maybe your likes are just changing a little. :001_smile:

 

ETA: I am a homebody and always was.

[Lisa at Home]

Somehow all the running around that is necessary for life destroys the thrill of being on the go because you choose to.

 

Right now I don't have a bunch of commitments, and have been having a grand time choosing where I feel like going. I feel so free!

 

When activities season picks up for us again, it will take wild horses to even drag me out for date night, which I enjoy more than anything in the world.

 

For me, it's a seasonal thing. Not like the four seasons, but the two seasons....of being overcommitted or not.

 

That's just how I am.

 

~Lisa

[Doran]

OK just a question I am not trying to psycho-analize (major spelling issue right there!:tongue_smilie:) you. Could you possibly be a little down? That is the first thing that came to mind. The second is maybe your likes are just changing a little. :001_smile:

 

 

Yes, it's possible that I could be a little down, but I'm not sure what that looks like. That is not to say that I don't sometimes feel down. I absolutely do. But, I equate down with sadness or anger, and I can't say that I'm feeling either of those things just now. Have I ever been depressed? Who knows!? I've never used that term to describe myself, but it doesn't mean it could never have been appropriate. Perhaps those who know how down or depressed generally manifests could enlighten me. Reading this from the view of an observer, it could sound like I'm making fun of those conditions. Please know that I'm not trying to do that.

[Doran]

Somehow all the running around that is necessary for life destroys the thrill of being on the go because you choose to.

 

Right now I don't have a bunch of commitments, and have been having a grand time choosing where I feel like going. I feel so free!

 

When activities season picks up for us again, it will take wild horses to even drag me out for date night, which I enjoy more than anything in the world.

 

For me, it's a seasonal thing. Not like the four seasons, but the two seasons....of being overcommitted or not.

 

That's just how I am.

 

~Lisa

 

 

My strongest feeling was that the reason I didn't feel like going tonight is because of having to be out the past three nights, and knowing that I'll be out Saturday evening (even if just for a bit) and all day Sunday. But, when I factored in the reality that I've spent most of my days at home, it seemed like I was being ridiculous. Maybe it's more like what you're describing.

[5kidsforME]

Yes, it's possible that I could be a little down, but I'm not sure what that looks like. That is not to say that I don't sometimes feel down. I absolutely do. But, I equate down with sadness or anger, and I can't say that I'm feeling either of those things just now. Have I ever been depressed? Who knows!? I've never used that term to describe myself, but it doesn't mean it could never have been appropriate. Perhaps those who know how down or depressed generally manifests could enlighten me. Reading this from the view of an observer, it could sound like I'm making fun of those conditions. Please know that I'm not trying to do that.

 

 

Well when I get depressed, I don't want to leave my house. For anything. But that is me and everyone reacts differently to being down or depressed. That is why that popped into my head.

[Doran]

Well when I get depressed, I don't want to leave my house. For anything. But that is me and everyone reacts differently to being down or depressed. That is why that popped into my head.

 

 

You function just fine, you laugh and feel generally like yourself, you just don't want to leave your house? OR is it more than that? I always figured it was more of a darkness, a feeling of emptiness or hopelessness that made going out seem...I don't know...useless. But, I realize that I don't really know.

[Sophia]

While I would never describe myself as an extrovert, I definitely used to be more sociable and spontaneous in my younger days (I'm 43.)

Part of the reason I dislike going out at night is I immediately get a visual of what the house will look like when I return, and decide it's just not worth it.

My older two are great about trying to keep order, but we differ on our definitions of "clean", y'know.

I'm content to stay home more now, unfortunately my dh is and always will be an extrovert to the nth degree, and it looks like all the kiddo's are following him in their quest for neverending socialization :rolleyes:

[Lizzie in Ma]

I am social, always have been, but I am homebody social. Stop by whenever, stay as long as you like, lock up when you leave, I may go to bed. There is soup on the stove, enough for an army, the bread machine is always running. Help yourself. Borrow clothes, books, curriculum, here is a shoulder to cry on, a friend to laugh with and a sister to love you. Just don't ask me to go out. Please.

 

I get really tense to see my calendar full, or even full-ish. I can't see very well at night to drive and headlights blind me almost completely so that is part of it.

Our school days have a rhythm to them that I do like to keep when at all possible because they simply go better when we do. I will say I am NOT spontaneous. Having to suddenly get up and go throws me badly. Heck, knowing I have to go and getting close to it has been known to throw me.

 

Oh heck, I need help don't I? :banghead:

[Pensguys]

I am turning in to a huge homebody. .... but I have learned that I am content in my own space and that's okay. It's a good thing.

 

So is knitting (for me). :001_smile:

 

THIS is me too! When I get too many things going on during the week, I tend to want to stay close when I have the chance. I'm going out with friends tonight but I haven't gone anywhere this week (well, I did go for 2 hours knitting with one friend last night).

[Once]

I think of myself as quite social. I like people but I like the people in my family too. It sounds like you may just be very busy outside your home and with your dh's b-day coming up you want to celebrate with your girls and dh. That seems perfectly normal and health to me. Now...if you still felt like staying home two months from now and you had not seen a change back to your usual self by then....then I would be concerned.

 

I think major days like this deserve a little slow down and acknowledgement. (Not that I am saying that you would not acknowledge it but you know what I mean right?)

 

It *is* hard to say no to people when you really like and want their company. I know that feeling well. I have a dh that would never leave but to work and do errands. So we have to find a balance sometimes to respect both sides of the marriage.

 

Not to be sassy but boy you have had a busy week. Your week would put even me under the table with a Mike's. :lol:

[ClassicMom]

I am social, always have been, but I am homebody social. Stop by whenever, stay as long as you like, lock up when you leave, I may go to bed. There is soup on the stove, enough for an army, the bread machine is always running. Help yourself. Borrow clothes, books, curriculum, here is a shoulder to cry on, a friend to laugh with and a sister to love you. Just don't ask me to go out. Please.

 

I get really tense to see my calendar full, or even full-ish. I can't see very well at night to drive and headlights blind me almost completely so that is part of it.

Our school days have a rhythm to them that I do like to keep when at all possible because they simply go better when we do. I will say I am NOT spontaneous. Having to suddenly get up and go throws me badly. Heck, knowing I have to go and getting close to it has been known to throw me.

 

Oh heck, I need help don't I? :banghead:

 

Lizzie,

 

ARE WE TWINS?

 

Except there isn't really anything wrong with this if you aren't depressed. There is a distinction between just wanting to be home and not going out and being depressed. Feeling down, empty, lacking your normal emotions, etc.

[Doran]

Late this afternoon, I took a brisk walk, complete with brisk tunes. Then, I came home. And, I stayed home. I'm delighted that I did! My husband thanked me for choosing family over a night out (awww...he noticed!), we had a simple but enjoyable meal, and I've had some therapy. Two. Two therapies. :D

 

 

I'm pretty dang sure I'm not depressed. I'm just ME.

[Mamagistra]

I tried some Arbor Mist therapy because it looks so good on the TV advertisements. Turns out it's only 6% therapy. I think I need stronger therapy.

 

ROFLOL! :lol::lol:

[Krista in LA]

I've always been a bit of a homebody, but I find I'm becoming more of one. Perhaps it is because I have to run the kids around so much. Or maybe it's just because I'm getting older.

[Rosie_0801]

In my opinion "I can't be bothered" is perfectly legitimate. Still, it seems like a shame to miss out on these events that you will love when you get there. I'm like that at times. The effort required to actually go seems incredible. Why not go, then schedule yourself a "sit in bed with the door closed, read and eat junkfood" day? One of those is bliss, but when you start feeling off colour because you haven't eaten properly, you remember why you want to get up and go out.

:)

Rosie- suddenly fancying a blackberry self saucing pud. Shame I haven't got one.

[Lisa at Home]

And that you dh noticed! :)

[5kidsforME]

You function just fine, you laugh and feel generally like yourself, you just don't want to leave your house? OR is it more than that? I always figured it was more of a darkness, a feeling of emptiness or hopelessness that made going out seem...I don't know...useless. But, I realize that I don't really know.

 

Your OP was saying how you were leaning towards not wanting to go and do these things and how that is not normally how you are. I was just saying how that is a clue for me, that I am getting or am depressed. I should have said that is ONE of the things that change when I am depressed.

 

Clear as mud??

[scooterandrat]

My dh used to say I kept the road hot all the time. I went somewhere everyday whether I needed to or not. But after several years have gone by, and I have collected some really cute little kiddos (well, their not so little, just kind of little-ds 9, dd 7, ds 3), I have decided that unless I really need to go, I'm not budging out of my house. First of all, gas prices eat you up. Second, by the time my children have argued and fought the whole time we've been in the car, it hardly seems worth the trip. When we arrive to our destination, I feel like a screaming banshee. Who can enjoy that?!? All kidding aside, I don't enjoy going like I used to. I think as we get better with age, we enjoy being in our homes, with our families. There is a very big thing that cancels out everything I just said. DATE NIGHT!!!!! Then, I'm outta' here! My hub and I go out for dinner, go downtown and enjoy the atmosphere, then to the cheesecake place for coffee and dessert. It doesn't take much to please me anymore, and I am now proud to say I am a BIG homebody!