jlmom Posted March 21, 2012 Share Posted March 21, 2012 Or at least, that's what dh's aunt thinks. She's a very nice person and we usually enjoy spending time with her. We spend a few days each summer at her house at the beach and always look forward to seeing her. She is a retired elementary teacher. We had dinner with dh's family this weekend and she asked me if we would consider sending dd7 back to school. I said not right now, but who knows what the future brings. Then she says that we shouldn't wait too long or else "she won't know what school is about". Ds4 could start K next year but he's not ready. We have full-day K here and he could never sit through it. He's fine academically but just not ready for 8 hours in school. (dd went to K and we were planning on sending him, too). She told me that we should send him because "you can tell he's testing his boundaries" and "he needs to be away from you". He's 5! None of her "concerns" were academic. dd is further ahead that where her ps classmates are and I said she'd be bored to tears. That's apparently ok because "we were all bored in school". How is that ok? I'm 5 months pregnant and overly hormonal so I'm sure that had something to do with why it upset me so much. Normally I can listen to people politely and then let it go, but this is still bothering me. Sorry for the vent--I knew you all would understand! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thescrappyhomeschooler Posted March 21, 2012 Share Posted March 21, 2012 Some days, I wish I could send my kids away from me, especially around math time . . .:lol::lol: Just kidding. It's annoying when other people project their beliefs onto you and your family. This is definitely a pass the bean dip situation, because you just can't reason with people when they have an idea in their minds. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cassy Posted March 21, 2012 Share Posted March 21, 2012 Kids test boundaries, it's part of their job description, it doesn't matter who they're with or for how long. I can understand how this is still bothering you, I'd be furious. Try not to dwell on it. As I've read here a few times, other people's opinions are none of your business :D. :grouphug: Cassy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jelbe5 Posted March 21, 2012 Share Posted March 21, 2012 It never ceases to amaze me how others feel entitled to give unsolicited advice regarding our children, family lifestyle and educational choices! I had a similar encounter with my father last year which left a very sour taste in my mouth. :glare: Here is some additional unsolicited advice. Smile, nod, pass the bean dip and continue on the course your family has chosen.:D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pretty in Pink Posted March 21, 2012 Share Posted March 21, 2012 Kids test their boundaries regardless of the setting in which they are educated. Additionally, the fact that your choice to homeschool seems odd to her does not make you decision wrong. Your daughter attended kindy which means she already knows what school is about, but who says that she needs to know? Your kids, your decision. "Our decision has been made. This is working for our family. Our children are happy, healthy, and educated. We're obviously not going to agree on this topic, so perhaps we ought not revisit it." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swellmomma Posted March 21, 2012 Share Posted March 21, 2012 Kids test their boundaries regardless of the setting in which they are educated. Additionally, the fact that your choice to homeschool seems odd to her does not make you decision wrong. Your daughter attended kindy which means she already knows what school is about, but who says that she needs to know? Your kids, your decision. "Our decision has been made. This is working for our family. Our children are happy, healthy, and educated. We're obviously not going to agree on this topic, so perhaps we ought not revisit it." :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mom2myboys Posted March 21, 2012 Share Posted March 21, 2012 :grouphug: Does your DH's aunt have children of her own? If not, it may be easier to let what she said slide. Either way, you are doing what you feel is best for your family and that is what is important. I know you know that, but it can be disconcerting when loved ones make comments to the contrary. Just lending support to you and your decision. It would have bothered me to hear it even when not pregnant. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Night Elf Posted March 21, 2012 Share Posted March 21, 2012 She might be thinking about how a child can benefit from the influence of other adults, but that can be family too. And I'm not saying it's right, especially at those ages. I fail to see how a school teacher can do much other than talk academics. I have heard of high school mentors, but never elementary school ones. Yup, pass the bean dip. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jlmom Posted March 21, 2012 Author Share Posted March 21, 2012 Thanks, everyone!! Sometimes it's just nice to hear that you're not crazy from someone other than dh! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted March 21, 2012 Share Posted March 21, 2012 She is quite right. I have never known a public school child to test an adult's boundaries, particularly his own parents' limits. :glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TXMomof4 Posted March 21, 2012 Share Posted March 21, 2012 People have all sorts of weird opinions. My MIL once said my two boys fight with each other because they don't go to a school. Because, you know, sibling rivalry is very unusual. I don't know how school would cure that. I've had people say I should send my kids TO school because they get along too well. :confused: Apparently the fact that my kids don't try to destroy each other on a daily basis is outside the norm - and not normal = bad. Seriously, can't win for losing! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted March 21, 2012 Share Posted March 21, 2012 I'm not a "pass the bean dip" person. I don't get nasty or anything, but whenever someone tells me what I "should" be doing with my ds, I'm very polite about it, but let's just say that no one ever tells me twice what I "should" be doing. ;) And that goes for any other part of my personal life, as well. If I ask for advice, people can criticize me all you want, because that's what I need to hear, but if I don't ask, my decisions are none of anyone's business. My dh and I do what is right for our family. We don't tell other people how to live their lives or raise their kids, so we expect the same respect in return. I tend to be pretty direct with people. :tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fraidycat Posted March 21, 2012 Share Posted March 21, 2012 (edited) I've had people say I should send my kids TO school because they get along too well. Apparently the fact that my kids don't try to destroy each other on a daily basis is outside the norm - and not normal = bad. Seriously, can't win for losing! People have all sorts of weird opinions. My MIL once said my two boys fight with each other because they don't go to a school. Because, you know, sibling rivalry is very unusual. I don't know how school would cure that. My PS schooled kids used to try to destroy each other on a daily basis. My Mom, who is in favor of my homeschooling them even commented on how she didn't know how I was going to survive because they drove each other, and all who were near, absolutely batty with all the fighting every day. I was one of those parents who was jumping up and down with excitement come Monday morning so I could get them out of the house! Since we've started homeschooling they are completely different as siblings. They have occasional spats, but most of the time they get along really well and are the best of friends. I love having them home with me when they're like this. So, it seems to me that school was the largest part of problem. They were learning the "boundaries" of the other kids and their parents, which are not as firm as mine. A.K.A. They were learning how to be bullies and tease each other senseless for the most part. Edited March 21, 2012 by fraidycat Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redsquirrel Posted March 21, 2012 Share Posted March 21, 2012 She was veering away from education into telling you how to parent. Neither is ok, IMO, but that might be why it is harder to let go. Well, that and the 5 months pregnant. :001_smile: I am not a 'public school is horrible' sort of homeschooler, but 5 year olds do not 'need' to be away from their parents. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
6packofun Posted March 21, 2012 Share Posted March 21, 2012 (edited) OK, so if the solution to children supposedly needing to be away from their loving parents regularly is to send them to someone ELSE for the majority of the day, won't they quickly need to get away from that person, too? The logic is confounding. Edited March 21, 2012 by 6packofun add Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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