Mrs.Shawn Posted March 19, 2012 Share Posted March 19, 2012 My 9 yr old Aspie son started a new school in January due to our family's relocation. With teacher support (through the RTI/SST process) he generally does well. He has always had As and Bs. This past quarter, however, he had a C and an F for the first time ever, mainly because his teacher does not offer as much guidance/assistance with his executive functioning issues as previous teachers in our prior school system. I have decided that I am going to withdraw him from public school and homeschool him so that he can get the assistance that he needs. My question is should I allow him to finish out the school year or should I go ahead and withdraw him now? He does have another SST meeting scheduled for April, and part of me is hoping that would escalate and lead to an IEP meeting, but I am highly doubtful. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shellers Posted March 19, 2012 Share Posted March 19, 2012 I pulled my DS out of public school and started homeschooling him in Nov. 2011, about two weeks after his biannual IEP meeting. I initially thought I would pull him out of school at Winter break, but I moved that up to the Thanksgiving break, and then finally I pulled him out after the Halloween party. The more I thought about him staying in school, the more damage I realized it would do. Plus I knew if I had all that time to work with him he'd learn far more at home than he would at school. So I pulled him, and I have no regrets. If anything I think I should have pulled him out the day after the IEP meeting. The IEP meeting confirmed all the afterschooling I'd been doing with him since April 2011 was working. It was the confirmation I needed to hear to know that I could homeschool him and do a better job that his public school. Since this school is new to your DS and you plan on homeschooling him, I think you should pull him out. Getting a "F" can't be good for his self esteem, especially since he's not getting much help for his learning disabilities from his teacher. If you do get the IEP meeting, it could take awhile to do all the testing so he would probably have to finish out the year in public school. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeterPan Posted March 19, 2012 Share Posted March 19, 2012 The first thing I'd do is check the homeschooling laws in your state, just to make sure what the process is for pulling him out. But yes, I don't see any benefit at this point to having him there, not in the situation you described. How does he feel about it? Have you talked about it with him? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LucyStoner Posted March 19, 2012 Share Posted March 19, 2012 I waited till the end of the year almost 2 years ago now. I regret that. The sooner the better has been my experience. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs.Shawn Posted March 19, 2012 Author Share Posted March 19, 2012 My son wants to begin homeschooling now. I have confirmed that I can withdraw and begin homeschooling at any time. However, the records dept for my county seemed to emphasize that my son would receive an Incomplete on his record for this term. Why might this be a big deal if he is homeschooled for the remainder of the school term? I do not plan on re-enrolling him for next school year. Also, the records dept said I need to keep all work and grades for three years. I was under the impression that I didn't have to assign grades and that I simply need to prepare a summary of performance. Do you assign grades for elementary age? I was looking forward to getting away from grades for a while and focusing more on skills and competencies. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SunD Posted March 19, 2012 Share Posted March 19, 2012 My son wants to begin homeschooling now. I have confirmed that I can withdraw and begin homeschooling at any time. However, the records dept for my county seemed to emphasize that my son would receive an Incomplete on his record for this term. Why might this be a big deal if he is homeschooled for the remainder of the school term? I do not plan on re-enrolling him for next school year. Also, the records dept said I need to keep all work and grades for three years. I was under the impression that I didn't have to assign grades and that I simply need to prepare a summary of performance. Do you assign grades for elementary age? I was looking forward to getting away from grades for a while and focusing more on skills and competencies. I don't know your location, so I can't offer any specific information, but the local school district often knows less than nothing about homeschooling requirements. A local homeschooling group, or online listing of the relevant state laws, would probably spell out the actual rules much better from a legal standpoint. Someone working for the public school is probably assuming your son will be back, you will follow the public school curriculum progression, etc. They are telling you what you need to do for him to return smoothly and fit into their mold after doing school-at-home for a while. That may have nothing to do with your state's actual requirements. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KirstenH Posted March 19, 2012 Share Posted March 19, 2012 I faced the same decision with my son, and I chose to pull him out. Three more months of constant frustration is three months too much. I am giving two weeks' notice so he can wrap up any outstanding projects and/or testing he needs to finish, and have some time to get used to the idea that he's leaving. (This also buys me the time I need to get our schoolroom set up, supplies delivered, and my schedule rearranged.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
funnygirl Posted March 19, 2012 Share Posted March 19, 2012 I pulled mine out at Christmas and although it is nowhere near easy, it has certainly been the best thing for my dd. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShelleyW Posted March 19, 2012 Share Posted March 19, 2012 Go to hslda.org to find out about the hsing laws in your state. Often when you pull a child out of PS, they use scare tactics and negativity to discourage you b/c you pulling your child out equals their failure to educate him. Just know the law and don't worry about it. I don't keep grades until middle school btw. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs.Shawn Posted March 19, 2012 Author Share Posted March 19, 2012 Go to hslda.org to find out about the hsing laws in your state. Often when you pull a child out of PS, they use scare tactics and negativity to discourage you b/c you pulling your child out equals their failure to educate him. Just know the law and don't worry about it. I don't keep grades until middle school btw. Thanks. This website confirms what I had previously read. I will simply need to write a summary of annual progress, not necessarily using grades. I totally believe I was told that information for the school's benefit in the event of re-enrollment. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Finnella Posted March 20, 2012 Share Posted March 20, 2012 I was going to let mine finish out the semester. Fortunately, I took the advice of some people on a yahoo group I'd joined and pulled him out immediately, just before Thanksgiving. Our state laws allowed it and it removed him from a bad situation. I'm very glad I didn't wait. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
suzziesnowflake Posted March 20, 2012 Share Posted March 20, 2012 I would pull him now. This would be less time you will have to spend on undoing any damage done.It will give you and him a chance to get to know eachother and how he operates (what are his learning style,ect.) before next school year. I would recommend unschooling until the end of the year. Have fun and enjoy this time and don't focus on formal schooling until next year. Still have structure but focus on other things beside academics. Don't order any curriculum until this summer so you don't waste your money like I did!:lol: Find a homeschool group in your area so you can get some support too. HSing mom's who have done this for many years are the best source of information! Ask LOTS of question here on the hive too!!;) Goodluck! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KirstenH Posted March 20, 2012 Share Posted March 20, 2012 I know EVERYONE says 'deschool' (unschool) for a while, but I just want to offer another perspective because you said you have an aspie. My gifted son has aspie traits, and I plan to give him exactly a week off ... and that's only because our main curriculum won't be here in time and the schoolroom isn't quite set up yet. After that, it's back to work, because he NEEDS that. If we lose our momentum now, everything will be a fight when I try to pick things up again. Right now is when he's excited to homeschool. For my kid, I know I need to go with that, and give him what he's expecting. He's the kind of kid that if you do something one time, he expects it to be that way FOREVER. Things are very black and white with him. So, he can have a week off. No 'unschool.' Just OFF. The following week, we're back ON with school, and everything that entails. He just doesn't do well with ambiguity. YMMV, but this is what I think will work for us. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kiwi3129 Posted March 20, 2012 Share Posted March 20, 2012 I waited till the end of the year almost 2 years ago now. I regret that. The sooner the better has been my experience. :iagree: When my daughter was in public school kindergarten two years ago, we knew by Christmas break that it wasn't going to work. She wasn't progressing at all, began exhibiting a lot of anxiety, and began telling me she was stupid. Her kindergarten teacher (she was in an inclusion class) did the best she could, but our daughter was only getting 1 hour of extra help a day, and that was split between the five special ed kids in the class. So it worked out to an average of 12 minutes extra help a day. Unfortunately, at the time I thought it would be more disruptive for her to pull her in the middle of the year. By the end of the year she was pretty much a basket case. If I had it to do over again I would have pulled her as soon as I saw it wasn't working. If you feel like you need to pull him I would follow your gut. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs.Shawn Posted March 21, 2012 Author Share Posted March 21, 2012 Thanks all for your input. Friday will be his last day, only because there's a field trip Thursday/Friday that we've already paid $130 towards. He's really excited about going on the field trip and then getting to start homeschool afterwards. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Finnella Posted March 22, 2012 Share Posted March 22, 2012 I know EVERYONE says 'deschool' (unschool) for a while, but I just want to offer another perspective because you said you have an aspie. My gifted son has aspie traits, and I plan to give him exactly a week off ... and that's only because our main curriculum won't be here in time and the schoolroom isn't quite set up yet. After that, it's back to work, because he NEEDS that. If we lose our momentum now, everything will be a fight when I try to pick things up again. Right now is when he's excited to homeschool. For my kid, I know I need to go with that, and give him what he's expecting. He's the kind of kid that if you do something one time, he expects it to be that way FOREVER. Things are very black and white with him. So, he can have a week off. No 'unschool.' Just OFF. The following week, we're back ON with school, and everything that entails. He just doesn't do well with ambiguity. YMMV, but this is what I think will work for us. One of the huge advantages to homeschooling is knowing your child. I understand the issue with Aspies and ambiguity; they don't mix well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LisaAnne Posted March 23, 2012 Share Posted March 23, 2012 (edited) Great choice :) Edited March 23, 2012 by LisaAnne reworded reply Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShelleyW Posted March 23, 2012 Share Posted March 23, 2012 Best of luck to you Mama!:grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted March 23, 2012 Share Posted March 23, 2012 Wonderful! Incompletes are no big deal. It is better than an F on his report card should you wish him to go to school in the future. Dawn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shellers Posted March 23, 2012 Share Posted March 23, 2012 Thanks all for your input. Friday will be his last day, only because there's a field trip Thursday/Friday that we've already paid $130 towards. He's really excited about going on the field trip and then getting to start homeschool afterwards. :thumbup: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mesa Posted March 23, 2012 Share Posted March 23, 2012 I too have an Aspie... I pulled him out of school in 1st grade. Homeschooling was always my last option. Well.. I'm glad I "HAD" to homeschool that year. Now 6 years later, I wouldnt have it any other way! I homeschool all of my kiddos and dont regret my decision for a minute. Sure it gets tough sometimes, just like anything worth having in life.. I just remind myself WHY I'm doing and the payoffs are HUGE. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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