S/O appreciating education--Helping HSed kids appreciate being HSed?

[melissel]

Mommymilkies' thread made something I've been ruminating on the past few days coalesce into an actual question. Is it possible to help a HSed kid understand the perks they receive from being HSed?

 

We just went through a period of both girls wanting to go to PS. They're (mostly DD9) unhappy with HSing right now and believe that PS will be easier and more fun than being HSed. Of course their views of PS are completely skewed. They think that they'll have more free time in PS (compared with our 3-4 hours of HSing per day!), more free computer time (both of these children have iPads of their own), more field trips (we have memberships to two major museums and a major zoo, plus we hang out with unschoolers who plan PLENTY of events), etc.

 

Outside of putting them in school so they can live the life of schooled kids, how can I help them understand that PS is not what they believe it to be? I don't want this to become a wedge between DD9 and me, that she thinks I'm holding her back from this fabulous experience.

 

TIA!

Edited March 7, 2012 by melissel

[m0mmaBuck]

I wish I knew.... It's easy with DS because he remembers PS and the lack of free time. DD, on the other hand, fondly remembers daycare as "school" and thinks that PS is just a grander version of the same.

[MomatHWTK]

If leaving the house around 3, I tend to point out the kids I see getting off their buses with their heavy backpacks full of homework. But the real kicker for my kids was the kid down the street who had to go to bed at 7:30-8:00 p.m. so he could be up and ready for school by 6:30a.m. We are NOT morning people here.

[stripe]

Can you? So many things are "grass is greener," so a kid with homemade foods wishes she had twinkies! Otherwise I think talking to other kids might help her understand what a typical day consists of. But I am not sure it will lead to a "Thanks, Mom!" moment.

[melissel]

But I am not sure it will lead to a "Thanks, Mom!" moment.

 

I know, I was thinking about that after I posted. I'm not really looking for a "thanks Mom" moment--more just a contentment with what her situation actually is, I guess? But maybe that's still asking too much.

[stripe]

Well, my kids were a bit agog when I pointed out I used to leave the house before 7 to go to school.

 

But there really are exciting things about school (lunch boxes! Backpacks! School clothes! A new ruler! School bus!) that are more exciting in the abstract in some cases but not all.

 

I don't really have a solution, but I hear you.

[Chava_Raizel]

YES! Believe it or not, it is possible for them to come to the realization that the grass isn't always greener on the other side.

 

My oldest dd used to constantly ask if she could go to "real" school. For most of her elementary years she told anyone who would listen how unfair it was that she had to be home for school instead of getting to go to the "real" school. It used to drive me crazy.

 

Over time, she talked with friends who went to public school and heard them complain about how awful it is. My father is a retired public school teacher and while he loved teaching, he hated the bureaucracy and the insanity that is SOL testing. She heard lots of stories about how little the students were actually learning. Overtime she started to come to the realization that homeschooling wasn't so bad after all.

 

She's 12 now and feels lucky to be homeschooled. She doesn't love it everyday, but she appreciates the fact that she has free time in the afternoon that her friends don't have. She also realizes that school isn't all playtime and socializing with friends. Another point that I made to her was that lunch only lasts for about 20 min. at our local school and she is the pokeyest eater. She would barely make a dent in her lunch in the 20 min. they are given. She was shocked that they don't do snack time in middle school either.

 

I would definitely have your dd talk to kids who are public schooled. MOST of them hate it and will tell her how boring school is. My kids couldn't believe that in the local elementary school they don't study science and history at all. Ds said to the little neighbor girl, "What do you learn about all day then?!" The little girl answered, "Boring stuff mostly." Sad...

[celticmom]

I explained to my very wiggly dd7 that she would have to stay still and quiet for most of the time. However what really convinced her she would prefer to be homeschooled was when I informed her that she could not take her dog with her to a regular school.

[simka2]

I wish I could offer up my kids for you dd to talk to! Maybe find someone who is having to pull their kids out and let the kids have a chat.

[Chris in VA]

Well, no help here--Dd loves school. She loves being with friends every day, learning in small groups, eating lunch there, loves her teacher and some of her specials teachers, etc. etc. It's just more interesting than around her, where it's only me and her most of the day.

 

She's nearly 12, and peers are so intriguing and so "important" at this stage. She is NOT going to like the fact that we are homschooling next year, when everyone else gets to go to middle school. All her friends are schooled, and she hates being the odd one out at church.

 

I have to emphasize the good things, too, so I'm keeping my eye on this thread.

[elegantlion]

Generally the knowledge he'd have to get up at 6-6:15 is enough. We did that for prek and K, ugh, never again.

 

Ds loves homeschooling, but I've been known to point out the little perks too. Going to lunch on a weekday, sleeping later, not wearing shoes. Reading while lying on the couch (which he is currently doing), eating lunch in class, having the cat on the table, no homework, playing Xbox after school while everyone else is still at school, not having to wear a shirt/uniform, no back aches from a backpack, the ability to talk during math class, etc, etc.

[Photo Ninja]

My dc had friends in the ps and private schools, so they heard their friends complain about school all the way through elementary, middle and high school.

 

Their friends liked that they could come to our house and do science experiments because they never had time to do any science experiments in school, except for the science fair project that everyone had to do. My dc's friends were jealous that we did lots of field trips when the schools only did one or two each year. They told my dc that their teachers were mean (I'm sure this is a kid perspective), and that they couldn't go to the bathroom when they needed to, and that sometimes they were afraid to go to the bathroom because the 'big kids' hung out there and bullied the younger kids. They told my dc that school was boring, and that they had to sit around a lot, waiting for things. They told my dc that they got in trouble when they talked in class, and on and on. My dc's friends told my dc that they were lucky to get to be hsed, and that they wished their mothers would hs them.

 

My dc realized when they were in elementary school that they liked being hsed because of what their friends told them about school. As they got older, they realized that hsing was an advantage because they were able to do things that they knew they would not be able to do (or do as often as they liked) if they were in an institutional school situation.