How should I handle this lice situation?

[4kids4me]

My dd14 plays rep hockey...she's on the ice 3-4 days each week. A couple of weeks ago the team received an email from one of the moms saying that her dd, B, had lice. B isn't very well liked but my dd is kind to her, so as result B always sits beside her. It turns out B has had lice for a while, so it was a pretty bad case. So bad, in fact, that she wasn't allowed in school for the past week (and schools around here are too lax, imo). Since B was coming to hockey, I assumed that she'd gotten her situation sorted out. It turns out (I keep saying turns out b/c my dd and she text one another and this is how I find out stuff!) that this weekend the professional pickers took out 30 bugs. Meanwhile B still came to hockey and didn't even have her hair tied back (she usually wears it down).

 

So I'm feeling a little (lot) ticked. Yes the girls aren't necessarily rubbing their heads today, but jerseys are hung near one another, helmets get put beside on another on the bench, and it doesn't take more than a swing of loose hair for a bug to go flying out (trust me on this, my dd had a severe case and before I found out they would fall into her book while she was reading!!!!! OH GROSS!!!).

 

I'm not sure how to approach this situation. I really feel like something needs to be said, that the parent is not taking due diligence. If B isn't allowed in school, and you're still finding hoards of live bugs, why is she allowed to come to the dressing room? I'm not sure how to word it without it sounding really witchy, because in all honesty, when my kids had it, they weren't allowed to play with other kids until I was SURE that they were clean.

 

As a sitenote: I have four kids. Not looking forward to having a lice-fest here when I know it *could* be prevented in this case.

Help?

[Anne]

Discuss this with the coach. IMO, the coach is the one who should address with the parent.

 

Anne

[Photo Ninja]

I agree that the coach should be discussing it with the family, not you. It is an issue that could affect the entire team. You could contact the coach, who may not even know about the lice problem, and let him know about it, how long it has been going on, and that the girl involved is not even allowed to go to school until she is lice-free. Then ask what the policy is with hockey, since she has been coming regularly when she is not allowed in school. Let the coach handle it from there.

 

But I would be telling my dd to stay out of contact, and keep her things away from, this girl until she is lice free. Be sure your dd knows how lice are transferred so she knows her gear needs to be separated as well. I consider it inconsiderate of the family to knowingly expose the team to lice this way.

[4kids4me]

I agree that the coach should be discussing it with the family, not you. It is an issue that could affect the entire team. You could contact the coach, who may not even know about the lice problem, and let him know about it, how long it has been going on, and that the girl involved is not even allowed to go to school until she is lice-free. Then ask what the policy is with hockey, since she has been coming regularly when she is not allowed in school. Let the coach handle it from there.

 

But I would be telling my dd to stay out of contact, and keep her things away from, this girl until she is lice free. Be sure your dd knows how lice are transferred so she knows her gear needs to be separated as well. I consider it inconsiderate of the family to knowingly expose the team to lice this way.

 

Thanks! The coach does know about the lice because the mom sent a team-wide email out 9 days ago. I'm not sure how to word it that I think it's the coach's responsibility to handle it.

 

DD knows how lice is transferred as we had a severe case here a few years ago (41 hours of picking on her alone!). The other problem is B doesn't sit with anyone else...ever. It's not that they're good friends, they're not...but I guess she's most comfortable with my dd. Sigh.

[Harriet Vane]

First, I feel your pain and understand your legitimate concern.

 

I want to say, though, that the person my heart goes out to is B. She's not well liked? On the whole team, there is one person who shows her kindness, and even that person doesn't really consider her a friend? (Not that your dd has to be her friend--I am impressed that your dd does show B kindness.)

 

Yes, the coach should deal with it. Yes, the mother should continue doing lice treatments. However, lice cannot live on inanimate objects for long, so I wouldn't really worry about the locker room. Also, any efforts you make to address this need to be kind and very, very discreet.

 

For your own dd, I'd say just to keep checking her head. It's completely possible that she won't get lice though.

 

The other thing to consider is to offer to help B's mom cope with this. That might be more than you have time to do, but it's something to consider.

[MrsH]

Head lice is so awful and isolating, I, too, feel for B while sharing your concern! Perhaps you could word it with the coach as something to do in the future? Does the league have rules about a kid not being in school not being allowed to play? That might be helpful...

 

As far as preventing the transfer from B to your dd to your other kids, I'd do an olive oil treatment every week until you're sure it's not going around anymore. It's kind of messy but non-toxic and really great for hair! In case you're unfamiliar, you basically cover all the hair in olive oil and then let it stay on there for 30+ minutes (supposedly 30 is all it takes, I usually do at least an hour). You then comb the hair, in sections. It doesn't kill anything, but would find and remove any bugs, as they become immobilized in all the oil. That way, you'll know whether or not you're dealing with them before it gets bad and before it spreads. If you do find one, then you can treat in whatever way you prefer. If you use a chemical treatment, just be sure to check your daughter's head after 7-10 days since more and more resistant lice are being found (we dealt with that one, AWFUL! Thought we were all set, and BAM, a huge new case).

 

All the best, I really hope you guys don't have to deal with it!

[A.Balaban]

The coach.

 

I agree with checking your daughters head and treating your daughters hair with olive oil.

 

My head is itching now. My brother had a really bad case of head lice, and my son and daughter got head lice (yes she was like six weeks old when it happened- thankfully it was just transfer from another person, and there were no eggs so it was easy to pick out...)

 

Yuck. Yuck. I hate lice.

[justasque]

Braid and cover. A bandanna would be stylish under a helmet, if it's allowed.

 

The coach needs an update. Just write what you have written here. State your concerns, ask if there is a policy, etc. He needs to know, so he can keep an eye out for problems and so he can notify parents where necessary. The facility needs to know so they can clean appropriately. Other parents need to know it is an ongoing concern. It would not be a bad idea for the coach to ask everyone to braid and cover for a week or two or three until everyone is determined to be lice-free.

[CatholicMom]

ACK! I feel bad for B but, yeah, I would be flipping if I saw her helmet near my dd's helmet, or sitting shoulder-to-shoulder with my dd. You do not want an infestation in your house. Ugh. No. I would have your daughter keep her hair braided and UP so that even if B's hair is flailing about it will lessen the chance that the lice will get to your dd's hair.

 

I would definitely call the coach and politely acknowledge the letter and thank him for sending it (if he did; I didn't catch who sent it). ANYway, I would just tell him that you're concerned about B and her helmet and other things being in such close contact with other players' and ask if would at least talk to her and ask her to keep her hair braided and up and consider requiring her to sit out the games and practices until the lice isn't an issue. Emphasize that you're only suggesting it because you have had lice in your house in the past and it can spread so easily and is such a nightmare to get rid of.

 

That's sad for B, but reasonable. B and her parents have to think about others.

 

I think if you contact her parents it could be taken more personally. JMO. If it's the school's job to tell kids when they can't attend school because of a lice issue, it's the coach's job to tell kids when they can't participate because of a lice issue, right?

 

ETA: I mean, first of all it's her PARENTS' job, but if they aren't doing it, the coach has every right to step up.

Edited February 28, 2012 by TaraJo29

[katiejane]

To prevent your D getting them braid her hair as tightly as possible, spray with lots of hair spray and cover her head. I have heard sprays of tea tree oil deter them as well. Maybe do a search for this?

 

Ugh I feel your pain. I taught in a preschool where some parents thought it was ok to bring kids to preschool with live nits. Um no it is NOT ok!!!

[KungFuPanda]

:willy_nilly:

 

 

I'd just panic.

[bettyandbob]

BTDT

 

I would do the mayonnaise treatment ( similar to olive oil, I think) on dd and check her. Between practices I'd put the helmet in a plastic bag and wash her jersies in hot water.

 

I guess I could complain, but doesn't the coach have enough to do?

 

I'm surprised the school sent her home. My district doesn't do this anymore. Lice are icky, but not a health hazard.

[Berta]

I'd speak to the coach. There is no reason a child should have lice for this long and be allowed near other children. My daughter came home on Friday with lice in her hair. I noticed last Wednesday that she was itching, and figured it was shampoo that she didn't rinse out of her hair. She is 6 and likes to wash her own hair, but doesn't always rinse well. When she came home on Friday, I saw it in her hair and I immediately googled for images of lice. I have four kids, and this was the first time I have had to deal with lice.

 

I got out my little egg shaped microscope and put it on her head. Sure enough, I saw the same thing in the microscope as what was on the page. I went out and bought the lice gel. It took me three hours on Friday pm and another 2 hours on Saturday (after I cut her long hair short). I went through it again with the microscope and every last bug was gone. Today she went to school and the nurse checked her head and confirmed they were gone. She said if there were any nits left in her hair that she would have called me to come pick her up and do another treatment on her head.

[4kids4me]

Thanks to everyone who responded!!!!

 

If anyone knows lice, it's me! :) When dd had it a few years ago I spent 41 hours picking....41 hours!!!! It was bad! I didn't let her play with friends for two weeks as I would be horrified if we knowingly passed it on to another.

 

I had an email all written up to the coach and saved it in my draft folder. By the time dh came home I really felt like going to the coach to deal with it wasn't the way to go, and dh agreed. Though it technically has nothing to do with politics, anything "rep" can be political so I wanted to be careful.

 

So in the end for discretion and kindness sake, and because my dd and B consistently are beside one another, I decided to email only B's mom.

 

As I was writing this I received a very nice reply. Her mom had had surgery on the 15th and tried to ensure that B went to hockey with braided hair. Unfortunately B slipped out of the house one time without it and perhaps that's what I'm referring to. She seemed convinced that everyone was clear of lice, though I have my doubts since the professional picker took out 30 young bugs yesterday. Having said that I feel ok with how the conversation went and that B wasn't further embarrassed (all the team mates know because of the original email that went out the parents from B's mom).

 

Again, thanks for your words of encouragement and wisdom!

[GingerPoppy]

Head lice is so awful and isolating, I, too, feel for B while sharing your concern! Perhaps you could word it with the coach as something to do in the future? Does the league have rules about a kid not being in school not being allowed to play? That might be helpful...

 

As far as preventing the transfer from B to your dd to your other kids, I'd do an olive oil treatment every week until you're sure it's not going around anymore. It's kind of messy but non-toxic and really great for hair! In case you're unfamiliar, you basically cover all the hair in olive oil and then let it stay on there for 30+ minutes (supposedly 30 is all it takes, I usually do at least an hour). You then comb the hair, in sections. It doesn't kill anything, but would find and remove any bugs, as they become immobilized in all the oil. That way, you'll know whether or not you're dealing with them before it gets bad and before it spreads. If you do find one, then you can treat in whatever way you prefer. If you use a chemical treatment, just be sure to check your daughter's head after 7-10 days since more and more resistant lice are being found (we dealt with that one, AWFUL! Thought we were all set, and BAM, a huge new case).

 

All the best, I really hope you guys don't have to deal with it!

 

The oil definitely immobilizes them, and it's important to comb through in sections and get out what you can, but the oil can and does kill the lice if there is enough oil to completely smother them (they breathe through holes in their sides, and can't breathe with the oil smothering them), and if you leave it on long enough (I'd go for an hour or two). I have scientifically proven this. :D

 

The oil will not kill the nits (eggs), though. So, they will hatch about a week after being laid. If you do an olive oil treatment once a week, you will first get any live ones, then the following week you will get any new ones that have hatched. It takes about a week for them to become sexually mature, so these new ones will hopefully have not laid any eggs. Then, do a third treatment a week later to catch any stragglers.

 

Make sure the oil is put on dry hair, so that it's not diluted by dampness in the hair (less effective).

 

You can also lower the chances of catching lice in a situation like this by having your daughter completely mousse her hair from roots to tips, braid it, and hair spray it for good measure before attending hockey. They cannot get their nits to cling to hair with a lot of product, so any nits would tend to be washed down the drain at the next shampooing. However, I would still do the weekly preventative oil treatment.