What is your opinion of church youth groups?

[Tap]

We are in this position, but ds is going to be a leader. He will be one of a group of leaders, under a main youth pastor, no solo. The main leader is a married man, mid 30s, and the church always has girl's small group, led by volunteer women/girls (and possibly a man if another girl isn't available). The topic of teenage leaders has been a topic of many discussions here.

 

DS17 will be an church intern when he graduates highschool in the spring. He will not be the main youth group leader, but will be the leader of some small groups and will be an adviser for kids to go to. He will be an employee of the church and will have an official role in the youth group, not just a volunteer. At this point he has already written and presented two sermons to the high school group and has led some other groups. He assists the middle school leader weekly , and has been an official leader of younger kids for over a year. When he moves up, he will be in a similar position as the 18yo you are talking about, with potentially leading teens who are older than he. Ds17 is very, very mature and is planning to attend bible college in the fall to become a pastor. He has already been in college for 2 years and his peers (who he hangs out with) at church are the young 20yo age group. For ds, this step makes perfect sense but the move into leadership isn't being made without caution of the senior pastors.

 

 

That being said....event the leaders at church have discussed how this could potentially create some issues, specifically related to ds's age. There have been one or two other kids over the years who have moved up directly from high school to be major leaders, but it doesn't occur often and is not usually encouraged.

 

I am guessing your church has already considered the implications and are working to address them. At ds's church, the leaders and I have discussed this move up for ds several times. They know it is the right thing for ds to move into this role, but leadership isn't about the leader, it is about the 'flock' so to speak. DS is mentally much more of a 20yo...but is still physically a 17yo, with 17yos experiences. They are basing ds's move up, on the way ds lives his life, the decisions he makes, and how he impacts those around him. When ds moves up, he will have more oversight and council from his superiors than what an older person may normally have to help if any problems arise. They also plan to keep a little tighter pre-planning control of activities just to make sure things go smooth for ds. This particular church has experience in utilizing the youth of the church, so I feel confident that they will guide ds in making good decisions in his leadership role.

 

If you have concerns, I urge you to talk to the council and ask about what kind of experiences this man has, what oversight they have planned and what their goal is for him. While he may be the physical age of 18...he may be much more mature that his age credits him with. If the church is not offering oversight of this man, I would absolutely question their reasons and what he has to offer.

Edited February 13, 2012 by Tap, tap, tap

[Lang Syne Boardie]

Our church hired a 19yo summer intern to single-handedly form and lead a youth group comprised mostly of unbelievers.

 

By the end of the second week he was literally in hiding. He contacted my DH and another man from the church to ask for some advice, because he didn't want to tell the elders that he was totally failing at the job.

 

His big problem was fending off the 13yo girls. They were very physical, very aggressive. He was nervous about telling their parents their daughters wouldn't keep their hands off of him. (The girls were the reason he was hiding.)

 

He was a fine young man. No one ever had anything to say against him, except that he was just really in the wrong place at the wrong time. I'm glad no one said anything against him, because I was terrified one of those silly little girls would accuse him of something.

 

DH and the other man counseled him to tell the elders exactly what was going on whether he wanted to or not. He did (they went with him to make sure he did) and some protocols were put into place. Two sets of parents went along on all activities the rest of the summer. If two sets weren't available the event was canceled.

 

They got thru it, he went back to school, and the two Moms who most frequently chaperoned began to lead the youth group. We don't agree with how they are running the group but nobody can deny the supervision factor is very strong. The ones participating in the group and the elders are happy with how it's going under parental leadership.

 

We watched this all from the outside, because our kids don't do youth group or Sunday school.

[mom2scouts]

This is a bad, BAD, VERY BAD, awful, terrible idea. Please don't ask me how I know.:glare:

[Joanne]

If you are asking about *this* situation, I don't think it's a good idea to have an 18 year old in a position of adult leadership over a group of kids that are esentially peers.

 

If you are asking about youth groups in general, I think they can be a great place for relatively safe, supervised, and structured fellowship. And service opportunities.

 

I also think that they can be too full of drama and immaturity, too serious, too intense.

 

Finally, I think they can be another place for parents to be critical of them just to be critical:

 

1. People who think they should be serious study

2. People who think they are dangerous dens of iniquity

3. People who shelter their kids to an extreme get to be critical and sanctimonious about other youth/families who participate.

 

Extra biblical? Sure. So are hymnals, bulletins, budgets, and a praise band.

[Vanna]

I'm gonna be honest, that sounds like an absolutly awful idea. An 18 year old IS a youth, for crying out loud.

 

I think youth groups in general are a horrible idea. But one run by an 18 year old? No way in the world would my kids be going to it.

 

Youth should be mentored by elders. Elders means OLDER people. Why is it that so many youth groups are run by young singles or young just married couples? That seems like an awful idea...

:iagree:

 

I see youth groups as un-biblical, or perhaps, to be more charitable, 'extra-biblical.' To me is just another example of parents outsourcing or subcontracting their God-given responsiblities, in this case, to disciple their own children in the Gospel and the ways of God.See Deut. 6:6-7, Deut. 11:19, Prov. 22:6, and Ephesians 6:4 for supporting scripture.

:iagree:

 

 

 

...Statistics indicate that young adults, those who have been raised through-out this phenomenon of professional youth ministry, are leaving the Christian faith in droves, once they become adults.

 

So, I'm not exactly a fan. The scenario described by the OP is particularly troubling...

Couldn't agree with you more.

 

However, I do know that many ppl have a youth ministry in their church and they really like it -- I'm not going to shoot anyone down for this. :) I will just say that I think the *better* way for young people to ministered to is by older more experienced Christians. The 18 y.o. in the OP's post may be exceptional, but I don't think at his age he would be the best person to take on a leadership role. JMO.

[Blueridge]

I wanted to thank you all for your insightful, honest comments. I read them all to dh and he was nodding in agreement, too. Tonight was the first 'youth group' meeting, outside of church time. Our younger daughters really wanted to attend at least the first one so the leader wouldn't have his feelings hurt lol, so dh decided to take them and stay. Apparently we weren't the only parents concerned, because the pastor and 3 fathers came! Dh said if they want to go again, that's fine, but daddy will be coming, too. :D

[Desert Rat]

My dad is a retired youth pastor. I think, in general, youth programs that are run well are very beneficial. Although I'm no longer religious, I enjoyed my time in youth group and feel it gave me a safe place to be. I avoided a lot of pitfalls my peers outside of youth group fell into.

That said, I don't think an 18 yo should be in charge of a youth group, especially of young girls. Assist? Sure. Intern? Okay. But interning implies that you are under guidance of an adult with experience. If this is not the case, I wouldn't be okay with it.

[ThisIsTheDay]

Our church invited a young (18) man to intern for the semester as the new youth group leader. The young girls were giddy and giggling. :001_wub: Dh and I feel like old fuddy duddies, but we just aren't too keen on the idea. Are we just way out of touch with what *youth* need, or is it the recipe for disaster?

 

"[W]e aren't too keen on the idea."

" . . . recipe for disaster . . . "

 

Why, it's no surprise to you that I feel exactly the same way you do. I know you are loving this church, but for now, I'd keep my kids removed a bit from the youth group and see how things go. If I had boys, I'd do the same thing just to keep them away from any potential drama.

 

:)

[PeacefulChaos]

I'm just curious if thoughts would be different if the leader was a female? I remember one of our members being an intern to the youth pastor when she was 18 or 19. No one blinked an eye at her working with the youth, many who were freshman in her last year of youth group.

 

I don't see why it would be any different if it were a girl. On one hand, it would be a little less odd because she is a girl with girls, so that's a little different, I guess - though, regardless of gender, everyone should be accompanied by another adult who has had background checks done, to protect the people serving. However, the maturity to actually lead this group is what the biggest question is, and in that case an 18 yo girl isn't any more mature and capable of leading a youth group than an 18 yo boy.