m0mmaBuck Posted February 4, 2012 Share Posted February 4, 2012 OK, so here's the skinny. DH and I own an IT company. He is a tech. We have 2 other techs. I answer the phones and schedule the appts when I am home, take care of the billing, etc. I also WOH 19 hrs/wk. I am DD's AHG leader, DH is the advancements coordinator. I am DS's Cub Scout committee chair, DH is his den leader. I am DSS's Venture Crew committee chair, DH is the unit leader. Our week looks like this: Monday: I go to the gym at 5:00 a.m., am at work by 7:45 a.m. and am home by 1:30 p.m. DH tries to get through as much schoolwork as he can before I get home and he leaves for work but generally he only gets through math, spelling and grammar leaving me with writing, reading, readalouds, history or science, Latin, music or art, etc... So we do school until 4:00 and then I make dinner and we leave for DD's AHG meeting. Home by 8:30. Tuesday: Gym at 5:00. Start school by 8:00. Math, grammar, spelling, writing, reading, science or history, math or art, Latin. DD's dance class from 4:00-5:00. Wednesday: Gym at 5:00. Work 7:45-6:00. DH gets whatever school done that he can. Come home, take DD to AWANAS and go to Venture Meeting. Leave meeting at 7:45 to get DD @ 8:00 and home by 8:30. Thursday: Gym at 5:00. Start school by 8:00. Math, grammar, spelling, writing, reading, science or history, math or art, Latin. Two Thursdays/month I have meetings from 6:30-8:00 and 2 are free. Friday: Gym at 5:00 a.m., work by 7:45 a.m.,home by 1:30 p.m. DH tries to get through as much schoolwork as he can... I finish school, make dinner, and we leave for DS's Cubs meeting. Home by 8:30'ish. At least 2 weekends/month are scheduled with scouting activities on at least one day. Right now I feel like I am treading water but losing speed. Everything gets done, but not done as well as I'd like it to be. It's Saturday and I just finished the billing for the business (which should have been done on the 1st but DH wasn't done with all of his paperwork until today). School isn't as intense or as fun as it should be. Field trips are non-existant and fun projects get cut short or skipped due to time constraints. I don't have the energy to plan out scout meetings the way I'd like so everything is haphazard. How do I fix this? Where do I start? I am starting to feel like I am in way over my head. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rwjx2khsmj Posted February 4, 2012 Share Posted February 4, 2012 I can't imagine how you can do quality with the quantity you have in your life right now. Are you willing to give up something to work on the quality? If not, you may have to learn to relax on the quality. Also, it seems that the outside activities would be a substitute for field trips and school time fun. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OLG Posted February 4, 2012 Share Posted February 4, 2012 If it were me...I'd do gym every other day and not those days that I work outside the home. Too much running around for my mental health but I know some folks cannot get it all done w/o it or consider it 'their solo time. With the scheduled outside activities, one 'field trip' a month or so would suffice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danestress Posted February 4, 2012 Share Posted February 4, 2012 Honestly, something has to go. I think I would step back from some of the non essential activities, some of the leadership positions, and some of the working out. I would maybe just work out 3 days a week. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rwjx2khsmj Posted February 4, 2012 Share Posted February 4, 2012 It's interesting that "the working out" has been tagged as something that should be dropped. What is the op supposed to do at 5am rather than working out? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Plucky Posted February 4, 2012 Share Posted February 4, 2012 I would drop the scout leadership & I did. It really helped. You have a lot on your plate already. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OLG Posted February 4, 2012 Share Posted February 4, 2012 It's interesting that "the working out" has been tagged as something that should be dropped. What is the op supposed to do at 5am rather than working out? SLEEP! An essential ingredient to mental health. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danestress Posted February 4, 2012 Share Posted February 4, 2012 when I have that "treading water" feeling, I find that one thing that really helps is to get up early, do whatever chore has been getting shoved to the side, and start the homeschooling day feeling that I have already gotten a lot done. So it might be laundry, bills, ironing, cooking and freezing a meal - whatever will make me feel ahead. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Halcyon Posted February 4, 2012 Share Posted February 4, 2012 I would do certain subjects on certain days, particularly non-core subjects like science and history--writing, math, latin and reading can be done every day. Grammar and spelling can be every other day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kalanamak Posted February 4, 2012 Share Posted February 4, 2012 I am DD's AHG leader, DH is the advancements coordinator. I am DS's Cub Scout committee chair, DH is his den leader. I am DSS's Venture Crew committee chair, DH is the unit leader. Can you drop your cub scout committe and Venture Crew committee, and hubby drop the advancement's coor? That way, each activity still has ONE of you involved, but you drop the less "kingpin" spot of each one? Can you drop the ones that are the most time consuming/least reward for your family? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rwjx2khsmj Posted February 4, 2012 Share Posted February 4, 2012 SLEEP! An essential ingredient to mental health. I'm all for this. However, someone that gets up at 5am to exercise five days a week must really value that activity. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sukale Posted February 4, 2012 Share Posted February 4, 2012 I would cut the gym on Tuesdays and Thursdays. You could spend that time either sleeping or doing most of your house work, school planning and bills for your IT. If you feel that you need to get some exercise in I would do a video or play with the kids outside. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elfgivas Posted February 4, 2012 Share Posted February 4, 2012 I am DD's AHG leader, DH is the advancements coordinator. I am DS's Cub Scout committee chair, DH is his den leader. I am DSS's Venture Crew committee chair, DH is the unit leader. Our week looks like this: Monday: DH tries to get through as much schoolwork as he can before I get home and he leaves for work but generally he only gets through math, spelling and grammar leaving me with writing, reading, readalouds, history or science, Latin, music or art, etc... So we do school until 4:00 and then I make dinner and we leave for DD's AHG meeting. Home by 8:30. Tuesday: Gym at 5:00. Start school by 8:00. Math, grammar, spelling, writing, reading, science or history, math or art, Latin. DD's dance class from 4:00-5:00. Wednesday: Gym at 5:00. Work 7:45-6:00. DH gets whatever school done that he can. Come home, take DD to AWANAS and go to Venture Meeting. Leave meeting at 7:45 to get DD @ 8:00 and home by 8:30. Thursday: Gym at 5:00. Start school by 8:00. Math, grammar, spelling, writing, reading, science or history, math or art, Latin. Two Thursdays/month I have meetings from 6:30-8:00 and 2 are free. Friday: Gym at 5:00 a.m., work by 7:45 a.m.,home by 1:30 p.m. DH tries to get through as much schoolwork as he can... . so i would work this on two fronts: a) when dh does school with them i think they need to get thru more than three subjects in five and a half hours. is it possible to have a curriculum choice for a fourth subject (at least) that they could work on independently while he works with the others on something? in 5.5 hours, i would reckon they should get thru at least breakfast before 8am, a subject an hour until noon, minimum, lunch, and then move on to subject 5 before school. maybe he could do the read aloud during breakfast or lunch? that way, you have more wiggle room on those afternoons. b) i would trim activities. i see that you are each involved in a major activity for each kid, which is great if you're not both working like crazy, too. i am thinking that being the troop/den leader for each has more impact on your kids than the administrative roles, so i'd encourage you to consider dropping: the AHG advancements coordinator, being the DS's Cub Scout committee chair and the DSS's Venture Crew committee chair. and consider keeping AHG leader, and DH as cub scout den leader and Venture Crew unit leader. is that manageable? :grouphug: ann Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommyfaithe Posted February 5, 2012 Share Posted February 5, 2012 It's interesting that "the working out" has been tagged as something that should be dropped. What is the op supposed to do at 5am rather than working out? Sleep, have a nice cup of coffee, be there to get the kids up, dressed and fed before school...i don't know...I could think of lots of things to do...or not to do at 5am Faithe Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
m0mmaBuck Posted February 5, 2012 Author Share Posted February 5, 2012 Are you willing to give up something to work on the quality? Also, it seems that the outside activities would be a substitute for field trips and school time fun. I am willing to give something up. The leadership roles in scouts have a time frame that I have committed to that sits in the back of my mind. I never thought about the outside activities taking the place of field trips. Good point. I don't see it as school itself, but it's definitely an activity. If it were me...I'd do gym every other day and not those days that I work outside the home. Too much running around for my mental health but I know some folks cannot get it all done w/o it or consider it 'their solo time.. I can't give up the gym. It's the only thing I do that is just for me. It makes me crabby and I have less energy if I skip the gym. I think I would step back from some of the non essential activities, some of the leadership positions, and some of the working out. I would maybe just work out 3 days a week. I'm thinking that once June (end of scout year) hits, I am stepping down as committee chair of the Cubs. I am considering stepping down from the Venture Crew position sooner if I can find a replacement. DD's group... I'm the only adult available so I can't step away there but I am considering all of us taking a break once she earns the top award at her level. We could resume after the summer. It's interesting that "the working out" has been tagged as something that should be dropped. What is the op supposed to do at 5am rather than working out? LOL. Exactly! It's 5 a.m. for crying out loud! I would drop the scout leadership & I did. It really helped. You have a lot on your plate already. That is where I'm looking. I'll be done in the chair position for the Pack in June. The Crew I can walk away from any time and someone will just have to step up. DD's group.... I'm the only Pathfinder parent who isn't leading a different group so I'm stuck. when I have that "treading water" feeling, I find that one thing that really helps is to get up early, do whatever chore has been getting shoved to the side, and start the homeschooling day feeling that I have already gotten a lot done. So it might be laundry, bills, ironing, cooking and freezing a meal - whatever will make me feel ahead. I can't imagine getting up earlier than I already do. I would do certain subjects on certain days, particularly non-core subjects like science and history--writing, math, latin and reading can be done every day. Grammar and spelling can be every other day. Every day is math, spelling, grammar, writing, Latin, and reading. We do either science or history and then either art or music. I find that if we don't do spelling and grammar every day, DS struggles more. Can you drop your cub scout committe and Venture Crew committee, and hubby drop the advancement's coor? That way, each activity still has ONE of you involved, but you drop the less "kingpin" spot of each one? Can you drop the ones that are the most time consuming/least reward for your family? I can drop the cub committee in June and Crew pretty much any time as long as I find another adult to be in charge. DH plans to drop adv. coord. after DD earns her Eliza Shurley award in February. I think it will help... I'm all for this. However, someone that gets up at 5am to exercise five days a week must really value that activity. Yes. It keeps me happy. Otherwise I am just tired and crabby and feel pretty low about myself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
m0mmaBuck Posted February 5, 2012 Author Share Posted February 5, 2012 I would cut the gym on Tuesdays and Thursdays. You could spend that time either sleeping or doing most of your house work, school planning and bills for your IT. If you feel that you need to get some exercise in I would do a video or play with the kids outside. I know it seems weird but I need my gym time. It is my only time to myself. It is the only thing I do for me. If I try to do something at home, either a person or a dog or something else will pull me away and I will spend the rest of the day mad. so i would work this on two fronts:a) when dh does school with them i think they need to get thru more than three subjects in five and a half hours. b) i would trim activities. i'd encourage you to consider dropping: the AHG advancements coordinator, being the DS's Cub Scout committee chair and the DSS's Venture Crew committee chair. and consider keeping AHG leader, and DH as cub scout den leader and Venture Crew unit leader. is that manageable? :grouphug: ann a. DH is a night owl (stays up late working most nights until 1 a.m. or so)so he doesn't get anything rolling until at least 9 a.m. He has trouble multitasking so teaching both kids at once is a struggle for him. Generally he works with DD first, gets through her specific math, LA, and reading. DS will roll out of bed at about 10 a.m. and if DH isn't done with DD he will send him off to read or work independently while he finishes DD. Then DD is free to play while DH focuses on DS. Figure in lunch, and then before he knows it I'm home. If I were to ask him to get up earlier he would but it would really mess with his mood (which we don't need since he has PTSD and depression issues). b. This is what I am thinking makes sense too. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jackie in NE Posted February 5, 2012 Share Posted February 5, 2012 No advice. I just wanted to say that I think it's nice that you and your husband are such a team with respect to the business and the homeschooling. It looks like a great system. If I was trying to decide how to simplify my life, I might ask myself.... "10 years from now, when I look back on things, in which area of my life will I be glad I put in the effort?" Also, is there any time for you and dh together? Are you setting apart any time for your marriage? I'm the worst at this, but I know it's important, and I'm trying to change. Cheers, Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CalicoKat Posted February 5, 2012 Share Posted February 5, 2012 OK, so here's the skinny. DH and I own an IT company. He is a tech. We have 2 other techs. I answer the phones and schedule the appts when I am home, take care of the billing, etc. I also WOH 19 hrs/wk. I am DD's AHG leader, DH is the advancements coordinator. I am DS's Cub Scout committee chair, DH is his den leader. I am DSS's Venture Crew committee chair, DH is the unit leader. Our week looks like this: Monday: I go to the gym at 5:00 a.m., am at work by 7:45 a.m. and am home by 1:30 p.m. DH tries to get through as much schoolwork as he can before I get home and he leaves for work but generally he only gets through math, spelling and grammar leaving me with writing, reading, readalouds, history or science, Latin, music or art, etc... So we do school until 4:00 and then I make dinner and we leave for DD's AHG meeting. Home by 8:30. Tuesday: Gym at 5:00. Start school by 8:00. Math, grammar, spelling, writing, reading, science or history, math or art, Latin. DD's dance class from 4:00-5:00. Wednesday: Gym at 5:00. Work 7:45-6:00. DH gets whatever school done that he can. Come home, take DD to AWANAS and go to Venture Meeting. Leave meeting at 7:45 to get DD @ 8:00 and home by 8:30. Thursday: Gym at 5:00. Start school by 8:00. Math, grammar, spelling, writing, reading, science or history, math or art, Latin. Two Thursdays/month I have meetings from 6:30-8:00 and 2 are free. Friday: Gym at 5:00 a.m., work by 7:45 a.m.,home by 1:30 p.m. DH tries to get through as much schoolwork as he can... I finish school, make dinner, and we leave for DS's Cubs meeting. Home by 8:30'ish. At least 2 weekends/month are scheduled with scouting activities on at least one day. Right now I feel like I am treading water but losing speed. Everything gets done, but not done as well as I'd like it to be. It's Saturday and I just finished the billing for the business (which should have been done on the 1st but DH wasn't done with all of his paperwork until today). School isn't as intense or as fun as it should be. Field trips are non-existant and fun projects get cut short or skipped due to time constraints. I don't have the energy to plan out scout meetings the way I'd like so everything is haphazard. How do I fix this? Where do I start? I am starting to feel like I am in way over my head. Hire my hubby! He's an IT Project Manager guy who lost his job when the company he worked at for 16 years off shored their IT dept. to India. He could do your part of the IT business. That'd free up your time to homeschool and do all the other things you'd like to be doing. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
m0mmaBuck Posted February 5, 2012 Author Share Posted February 5, 2012 No advice. I just wanted to say that I think it's nice that you and your husband are such a team with respect to the business and the homeschooling. It looks like a great system. If I was trying to decide how to simplify my life, I might ask myself.... "10 years from now, when I look back on things, in which area of my life will I be glad I put in the effort?" Also, is there any time for you and dh together? Are you setting apart any time for your marriage? I'm the worst at this, but I know it's important, and I'm trying to change. Cheers, Thanks. We work well together, and after 16 years together, we know each other's strengths and weaknesses well enough to work around them. We try to make time to do something, just the two of us, every week, even if it's just grocery shopping. We also stick to a strick 9 p.m. bedtime for DS9 and DD5 as well as a 10 p.m. "go to your room" time for DSS19 so that we have some time together alone every day. Hire my hubby! He's an IT Project Manager guy who lost his job when the company he worked at for 16 years off shored their IT dept. to India. He could do your part of the IT business. That'd free up your time to homeschool and do all the other things you'd like to be doing. :) I wish we could. We have DH and 2 subcontractor techs right now. DH gets the bulk of the work, then our #2 guy and any leftovers go to #3.... but #3 only gets 0-10 hrs/wk right now. We used to have 3 full-time guys doing installs, pulling wires/cables, etc., but the economy as well as the declining cost of hardware is killing us slowly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justamouse Posted February 5, 2012 Share Posted February 5, 2012 Honestly, something has to go. I think I would step back from some of the non essential activities, some of the leadership positions, and some of the working out. I would maybe just work out 3 days a week. :iagree: Cut the extra clubs/chairs. You can't give to other people if you aren't making do for yourself (time). Then, if it's still crazy, cut a gym day or two. But unless God gave you 26 hours in your day, you're going to start sinking and not being able to bail fast enough. You really CAN cut the grammar when you have Latin. That could ease up the HS schedule a bit. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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