Why I Let My 9-year-old Ride the Subway Alone

[scrappyhappymama]

http://freerangekids.wordpress.com/2008/04/06/why-i-let-my-9-year-old-ride-the-subway-alone/

 

What do you think?

 

BTW ~not~ my blog. It's one a friend shared with me, and I can't decide what I think about it.

[st_claire]

I think its fine. It obviously depends on the kid, but if the kid can has good common sense and street smarts, I wouldn't worry.

[elegantlion]

Interesting. I'm not sure how I feel about it, yet we don't live in an urban area. We are in total suburbia and there is no public transportation in our area.

 

I do remember riding the bus in a smaller town to go downtown when I was 10 or 11. My sister was with me.

 

I know my son would never ask for that type of independence at age 10. He likes having familiar people around.

 

I'll be interested to hear other opinions.

[Julpost]

Hmmm...I've been thinking about this for years now. When I was my son's age...I rode my bike all over the place!! My ds desperately wants more independence but I just get so nervous. He's kind of absentminded....I don't know if that would change if he knew there was nobody to watch out for him. I dropped him off at our local convenience store to get some gum. I waited in the car across the street and reminded him to look both ways before crossing. When he left the store, he stepped right out onto the road without even looking....he was too busy looking at his new package of gum!!! His 9 yo sister however is very level headed and focused....she did look both ways before crossing. Now this is a road that gets very little traffic. We live in such a tiny town. But we are so sheltered here, I worry about my kids developing common sense or street smarts. Mostly I worry about my son. So how do I help him develop that?

Gotta run, the baby is crying. I'm just glad to have read the blog, thanks for sharing.

[nmoira]

I think its fine. It obviously depends on the kid, but if the kid can has good common sense and street smarts, I wouldn't worry.

:iagree:

[Liza Q]

I was taking the subway alone at 11 and the city is safer now than it was in the '70s when I was a kid - but I have still sheltered my children more, because I can.

 

I waited until my older daughters were teenagers before letting them ride the subways without me (or my husband) - but they are always together or with a friend. Honestly, part of the reason is that we just do not live in a very good neighborhood. Not a slum but.....I wanted them to have a level of maturity that they did not have at 9. My 15yo will be traveling alone to Manhattan this summer and we feel ok with it.

 

My younger daughter is 9 and she is bright, quick, fearless. I know that I could teach her to go to ballet on her own but since there is no need I see no reason to push her into that type of responsibility.

 

That said, I was surprised at the controversy. I see children of 7-10 alone every day - on their way to and from school, at the playground and library, on the bus and subway. It is just the way things are in the city. And I can't think of the last time a child was abducted here - considering the millions of people, I think that the statistics must be very very low.

 

Of course, when it is MY child I am more concerned. And I can afford to be - I am home with them and can arrange to get them/take them everywhere they need to go.

[Remudamom]

Well, I think she's nuts. But then, I send my kids off into the wilds on their horses. I do make them take their cell phones though.

 

Takes all kinds.

[Jumping In Puddles]

I love the first paragraph on the IDEAS tab

 

A movement needs…movement. We need to start changing things, before the next generation of kids grows up without ever experiencing one cartwheel without adult supervision (and a snack).

 

That's been my question for the past 3 years... why do kids have snacks everywhere they go (and sippy cups)?

 

I asked it in another thread on here but I'll ask it again: Do you think kids are less safe than they were 30 years ago, or do you think the media reports on it more?

 

We should be making our communities safer by knowing who are neighbors are and not being afraid of them.

[Annie G]

She did this at her son's request...he must have wanted to try this challenge. She left him in daylight, in a reasonably safe area. She left him equipped with essentials. So real red flags to me.

Not sure I would have had to nerve to do it, but good for her that she recognized that her son wanted to try it and she let him. Last week I was in NYC with my 15 year old daughter and I kept waiting for her to ask to go out and explore on her own. I would have let her but she's 15, not 9. But I was even happier that she was exhausted by the time WE were done exploring and she didn't want to go alone.

[Laura Corin]

My elder son takes the subway to have lunch with his dad. He also takes the subway plus walking to the library.

 

The number of 'classic abductions' in the US is not rising (sorry, I don't have the stats with me - they are at our other house). Media attention is, however. Horrible stories, however rare, sell newspapers.

 

Laura

[KAR120C]

And what we came up with is if our kids had grown up from infancy riding subways, navigating city streets, dealing with crowds, etc. then it would probably be fine. But our kids didn't. So while I couldn't drop my son off in NYC and let him get himself home, I can chuck him out the back door and let him wander our neighborhood and adjacent woods with his friends. Woods he knows. Subways not so much.

 

I think it's more a matter of how predictable the environment is and how predictable the kid is. I know my own son -- he doesn't pick up poisonous snakes, set fire to things, or try to cross highways. He doesn't ride his bike down the center of the street ignoring the cars (like so many other kids in this area! ugh!) or dash out into traffic. That pretty much covers our major safety hazards. He has a friend who while a year older does dash out into the street... so guess who I keep an eye on when they're in the yard!

 

So while I agree that we shouldn't be hovering constantly over our kids, I think it really depends on the kid in question and not a magic age or a specific situation. Some kids will be perfectly independent and trustworthy long before others. Some will be fine only in particular familiar settings or situations. I don't think I'd drop any kid off, for instance, on the interstate to hitch-hike. I wouldn't do that to an adult for that matter! I think it's worthwhile to know what settings and situations are appropriate for your own kid and let him have some independence there.