Calling people on the phone is...

[Guest]

Well, I'm an extrovert, and I don't have a problem calling close family or friends I see already all the time. I also don't have much of a problem with a place of business/someone I'm only ever going to talk to once in my life so who cares.

 

But... I have a fairly significant problem calling people that I either know but not that well, don't know yet but may have reason to have contact with in the future, or even people I consider good friends but who for reasons of distance or life circumstances I haven't seen IRL in a while. I have major angst around that and can talk myself out of calling. I worry it's a bad time, that they'll wonder what the heck I'm calling for, all sorts of reasons.

 

I love getting calls from faraway friends or those I haven't talked with in a while, so I have no idea why I'd think my calls wouldn't be similarly received, but there it is...

 

Interesting. I didn't think an extrovert could have this problem.

 

I think it was probably due to my small business. I had to talk to my customers on the phone for every transaction (classes that I pre-qualified people for to make sure it was mutually worth our time). I had to psych myself up for it every time I answered a call and every time I placed one, but my anxiety lessened over time. I knew what questions I needed to ask and what questions I was likely to be asked. I guess you might say I developed confidence in my phone skills. I did several calls a week, sometimes per day (my classes were very popular) until I decided to stop teaching about a year ago.

 

If I have to call someone and don't really need a response, I hope I get their voicemail. :tongue_smilie: I do still beg dh to call the pizza guy or the bank or whatever, but I can do it if he's not available. I love that so many things can be done online now. I'm an introvert who can be social but likes quiet, private downtime. :)

 

It's interesting, because I have had call-heavy occupations. Pre-kids, I was a legal secretary, so making those horrible phone calls was daily and answering the phone was almost constant. I did what I had to do, but I still never really got over it. The day I lost my job, two things went through my head: "Thank God I don't have to file all that cr*p sitting on my desk!" and "Shew! No more calling attorneys!" :lol:

 

Same. I knew that there had to be someone else like me, but I had no idea that so many were.

 

Is Phone Anxiety in that big book of mental disorders? :D

 

Amusing question. I learned as a very young woman to make "cold" calls. In fact making cold calls is one of my favorite things to do. I ask questions; I'm not afraid to be a total fool and ask seemingly stupid questions. I've had some interesting conversations with people I've never met in real life even if the call is more business oriented. I'm the household phone jockey. I've found places to live, had credit card companies knock-off their late fees, and asked people to do perform tasks all while calling from a great distance. I do not fear the phone.

 

 

 

You are very special. My SIL works with me and there have been times I've asked her, "Do you have PMS right now? Because I really need someone to call Verizon and bi*ch them out." She's so darn good at it.

[WishboneDawn]

I'd much rather talk face to face. I miss too many conversation clues and mishear too much when I'm on the phone.

[milovany]

Calling people on the phone is passé.

Edited December 6, 2011 by milovaný

[DarlaS]

Not something I enjoy.

 

Wow. This has been eye opening!

 

Now, who hates driving? Should we do a poll for that? :tongue_smilie:

[Lacie]

Friends and Family I like to call. Businesses or asking people for stuff I do not like to do.

[Parrothead]

Depends on who I'm talking to.

 

Dh and dd and my parents are fine. No problems there.

 

Calling my friends is mostly not a problem unless I'm asking for a favor or if I have to call in the middle of the day since they both homeschool also.

 

Calling for pizza or Chinese is fine. I have no problem doing that.

 

I can call for a price, a balance or clarification. It is mostly a problem because if one is running one's business properly 9 times our of 10 I shouldn't have to be making time in my busy day to call and ask for this information.

 

I emailed dd's music teacher this morning to ask for a change in the time for lesson. This is the second week in a row I needed to change this and asked for a permanent change. I called last week. This week I was a coward and opted for the email route.

 

I hate having to call the lady who runs doggy day care and ask for a change or a cancellation.

 

Those are the kinds of calls I hate to make.

[vonfirmath]

Depends on whom I'm calling!

 

Depends on who.

[bbkaren]

I'm happier with an email or text.

 

My patience for "small talk" and pleasantries is gone.

 

I like to get straight to the point! And, where possible, have a written record so if I forget what was decided, I can go back.

[beezus]

Talking on the phone is not my favorite thing. I'm an introvert and not much of a talker anyway. Also, I've got some mild hearing loss that sometimes makes it hard if the person on the other end has a soft voice. I'd rather talk to someone in person so I have the visuals to go along with the noise. Or else just email.

 

This poll has been interesting. I wouldn't have thought so many people disliked talking on the phone.

[LittleIzumi]

Torture/anxiety. I HATE it. I can count on one hand the people (all family) I can call without having to psyche myself up to even pick up the receiver, and even then I often get into the "well, they're probably having dinner now, so I'll do it later" cycle. Texting and FB are an amazing blessing. (No cell phone but I still found a texting app!)

[BrookValley.]

You have no idea what a relief email and text messaging is to me. :tongue_smilie: I really, really--really really--dislike making phone calls (and voted in the poll accordingly). I can call my husband or my mom ok, but anyone else, well, it's all downhill. Even good friends. I'd rather just hang out. But if we're hanging out, don't ask me to call for pizza or carryout. :glare:

 

Yes, I am an introvert, though I am comfortable in social situations and don't have any issues with face-to-face communication. I have a part-time job in retail and I talk to people all the time while I'm there. So I don't really know why I have such an issue with the phone. I wonder if it's partly due to the fact that my mother would mock me mercilessly when I made phone calls as a teenager. She'd stand in the background and make fun of the way I would talk. She always said I changed my voice and "acted fake" on the phone. :confused: I just thought I was being polite. Sorry, yes, my "I don't know you and I'm calling your place of business" voice is a bit different than my "you're family or a close friend" voice! I still won't make a phone call, or even answer the phone, if she's in the room. She still makes fun of me!

[QuirkyKapers]

Depends on who I am calling. A friend is fine. Calling to set up appointments or resolve problems with househould items, bills etc.- I hate it.

[posybuddy]

I'm a borderline introvert/extrovert, have no trouble with public speaking or anything like that, love getting together with friends and being chatty, but gosh I hate making or even receiving phone calls. I always feel like I'm stumbling over my words, saying the wrong thing, forgetting to ask that important question of the nurse, not knowing the answer to the question *she* asks *me*... in general it makes me feel like an idiot in a way face to face conversation does not.

 

If I had my druthers, every single thing could be done via text/email or online (yay for online pizza ordering!) so that I never had to speak on the phone again.

[Vanna]

I'm an extrovert, but since the advent of email it's my preferred mode of communication.

 

I WILL make phone calls first if there's a problem to discuss.

[Crissy]

Depends on the person I'm calling.

I easily dialed my mom once or twice every day (and she called me as often). I am comfortable calling my sisters and my dad.

Anyone else falls somewhere between torture and not enjoyable.

[LostSurprise]

I'll have to show Dean this. He's always complaining that I leave him to do all the calls!

 

I wouldn't say it was torture. Its between torture and unpleasant. I definitely have a mini-panic attack (also when someone hands me the phone unexpectedly). I have to sit quietly and frame my intro and mentally list the things I want to talk about. This is even true with my family (although I get comfortable more quickly with them).

 

In college I chaired a committee where I had to rent things, organize groups, etc. (back before email). I made a list of points and wrote out the greeting. It helped.

 

I think I feel this way because I have no visual cues to tell me how people are reacting to my words. I don't feel this much anxiety in-person.

[DarlaS]

I think I feel this way because I have no visual cues to tell me how people are reacting to my words. I don't feel this much anxiety in-person.

 

This is definitely a factor for me. Especially with my husband who gets quiet if he doesn't agree with something I said. He does the same thing if he's driving through an intersection. I can't tell the difference on my end. :tongue_smilie:

[Pretty in Pink]

I used to hate making telephone calls but got over it quickly when I became employed by a law firm and phoning clients, various offices, etc. was a routine part of the job. I don't really feel one way or the other about placing calls now. I don't love talking on the phone but I don't mind it, either. I do like the convenience of email/texting/FB and utilize those more frequently than the telephone.

[nd293]

I'm much better than I used to be, but it is still torturous for me, especially if I have to ask something that is not clear cut. (I'm currently stalling on "Hi, I am trying to find a resort in the area than offers day entry to swimming pool. Day entry. You know, I pay and swim, but don't stay in your resort. When we lived overseas all the hotels offered it. Day entry. No, I've never seen it here, either, but I wanted to check anyway. Thanks for your time." Sounds simple, but not for me. Pounding heart and sweaty palms. Aaaaaaarrrrrggggg.)

 

Dd11 who is generally much more extroverted than I am also hates speaking on the phone. If the call relates to her in any way we have drawn out you-do-it-no-you-do-it arguments before the call ever gets made!