thescrappyhomeschooler Posted December 5, 2011 Share Posted December 5, 2011 Just let me first say this is not a dh bash. This is another instance where I just don't get how his mind works. We have a big rolling trash cart from the city that is specifically for recyclables. Dh always wheels this and the bigger trash cart to the curb on Sunday nights. Last week, he said to me, "Wow. The recycling bin is actually full this week." I said, "That's because you never put the recycling from the house or garage in it before you wheel it down. I usually do it on Monday mornings, but I did it early this week." Fast forward to yesterday. I was gone most of the afternoon at my mom's, visiting family from out of town. I come home in the late evening, and the trash carts are already out front. Later, I go to throw something in the recycling bin in the kitchen, and it's completely full. So, I guess he didn't take the hint to actually empty the recyclables into the cart before he wheels it out there! :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LaxMom Posted December 5, 2011 Share Posted December 5, 2011 Yes, I always find it funny the difference between what I find obvious and what my husband does. (he does as well) There are a lot of jokes about who's wearing his/her Captain Obvious underpants around here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MamaSheep Posted December 5, 2011 Share Posted December 5, 2011 (edited) Just let me first say this is not a dh bash. This is another instance where I just don't get how his mind works. We have a big rolling trash cart from the city that is specifically for recyclables. Dh always wheels this and the bigger trash cart to the curb on Sunday nights. Last week, he said to me, "Wow. The recycling bin is actually full this week." I said, "That's because you never put the recycling from the house or garage in it before you wheel it down. I usually do it on Monday mornings, but I did it early this week." Fast forward to yesterday. I was gone most of the afternoon at my mom's, visiting family from out of town. I come home in the late evening, and the trash carts are already out front. Later, I go to throw something in the recycling bin in the kitchen, and it's completely full. So, I guess he didn't take the hint to actually empty the recyclables into the cart before he wheels it out there! :lol: In the male mind that was not a hint. That was an explanation as to when YOU take care of the task, meaning that you've got it covered, and he doesn't need to worry about it. If you want him to do it you should explicitly ask him to. Nicely. Because in his mind you've already taken responsibility for it, and now you're shifting your work onto him, not explaining that this is part of his work that he's been neglecting. :) Edited December 5, 2011 by MamaSheep Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brigitte Posted December 5, 2011 Share Posted December 5, 2011 Nope, their minds don't work that way. :glare: Sorry to disappoint you. :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melissel Posted December 5, 2011 Share Posted December 5, 2011 Nope, their minds don't work that way. :glare: Sorry to disappoint you. :lol: :iagree: :lol: Eerily similar scenarios have occurred here as well. We also have the problem of the recyclables making it to the counter but not the bin below and the dirty dishes making it to the sink but not the dishwasher that he has to WALK PAST to get to the sink. Hinting has not helped. Asking nicely has not helped. Sighing audibly and slamming the dishes (found in the sink I JUST cleaned out by loading all the dirty dishes into the dishwasher right it front of him) has not helped. Flipping out one night and yelling at all three of them for various things HAS helped (though it's not one of my prouder moments!). Just last week in fact. After 13 years of living together. I'm wondering what I can finally get him to do in 2024, actually! I'll need to start now :tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GoVanGogh Posted December 5, 2011 Share Posted December 5, 2011 There are a lot of jokes about who's wearing his/her Captain Obvious underpants around here. :lol:I'm totally stealing that line! I'm always telling DH and DS that they do not need to verbalize the obvious... It drives me nuts! A few weeks ago, DS put on a pair of pants that were several inches too short. I told him to go change his pants. He threw the outgrown ones over the edge of the couch. I went back a bit later to put them into my ongoing bag of stuff to donate. I couldn't find the pants. I asked DS where they were. He said, "Dad hung them back up in the closet." My reply, "No. He wouldn't have. They are too small. Why would he hang them back up?" So I went and asked DH. Sure enough. He had hung them up in the closet. I beat him over the head with the pants. :D I have a hard enough time keeping up with clothes for my DS that is growing by leaps and bounds. I don't need things put in there that we know don't fit! :glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Julie Smith Posted December 5, 2011 Share Posted December 5, 2011 In the male mind that was not a hint. That was an explanation as to when YOU take care of the task, meaning that you've got it covered, and he doesn't need to worry about it. That's how I would have understood it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Perry Posted December 5, 2011 Share Posted December 5, 2011 That's how I would have understood it. Yep. Me too. Luckily my dh knows me well enough not to bother with hints. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alpidarkomama Posted December 5, 2011 Share Posted December 5, 2011 Yep, hints never work here. I haven't hinted in a good 9 years. :lol: But with explicit requests, my DH will happily do whatever needs doing 100x over! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BarbecueMom Posted December 5, 2011 Share Posted December 5, 2011 Ironically enough, I just went downstairs and smelled something foul. Like "cat using the floor" smell. When DH changed the litter boxes last night, he apparently forgot to put new litter back in the boxes. I texted him: Me: "Darling husband..." DH: "Trying to think of what I did..." Me: "I'll give you three guesses and a hint. It's something you didn't do." DH: "Did I take the trash to the curb?" :lol: Yes, he did do that. After about five minutes: DH: "Oh!! Kitty litter in the boxes!!" Me: "LOL yes, that's the one!" DH: "Well I was hoping it would encourage them to use the toilet." Nice try, dear. :tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QuirkyKapers Posted December 5, 2011 Share Posted December 5, 2011 Yep- hints don't work here. The direct approach is best. I remember when this clearly hit home for me. Me: I would like an ice tea. Him: hmm Me: There is a McDonalds. Him: Driving right by it... Me: I wanted an iced tea and you just passed a McDonalds Him: I didn't know you wanted me to stop :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thescrappyhomeschooler Posted December 5, 2011 Author Share Posted December 5, 2011 Yep- hints don't work here. The direct approach is best. I remember when this clearly hit home for me. Me: I would like an ice tea. Him: hmm Me: There is a McDonalds. Him: Driving right by it... Me: I wanted an iced tea and you just passed a McDonalds Him: I didn't know you wanted me to stop :lol: That's a classic! :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Oak Knoll Mom Posted January 10, 2012 Share Posted January 10, 2012 When I first read your post, I immediately thought of this Jeff Foxworthy routine on the differences between how men and women communicate. I couldn't find it then, but just ran across it again this weekend. The whole thing is funny, but 3:50 to the end is the most pertinent part. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheHomeScientist Posted January 10, 2012 Share Posted January 10, 2012 In the male mind that was not a hint. That was an explanation as to when YOU take care of the task, meaning that you've got it covered, and he doesn't need to worry about it. If you want him to do it you should explicitly ask him to. Nicely. Because in his mind you've already taken responsibility for it, and now you're shifting your work onto him, not explaining that this is part of his work that he's been neglecting. :) Speaking as a man, yes, exactly. We men don't do hints. If you want me to put the stuff in the bin, ask me specifically to put the stuff in the bin. Otherwise, you're just telling me what you do. If you ask me to do it, I'll do it, if I remember to do it. (That's another thing. Most men are very routine-oriented. Any change to that routine requires time and reinforcement to take effect.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheHomeScientist Posted January 10, 2012 Share Posted January 10, 2012 On the ice tea thing, I would also have driven right past. Women are great at indirect communication. Guys, not so much. You are matrix thinkers; we are linear thinkers. Subtlety is a female characteristic. I will say that at age 58, I've finally learned a little bit about women and their subtle communication. For example, nowadays if my wife and I are watching a TV program and two women are smiling and saying nice things to each other, I'll sometimes turn to my wife and say, "They don't like each other, do they?" That's because guys are very direct. If I smile and say nice things to someone that means I like that person. If I don't like a person, I don't smile or say nice things. Guys are easily confused by the subtle signals that women use. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spy Car Posted January 10, 2012 Share Posted January 10, 2012 Just let me first say this is not a dh bash. This is another instance where I just don't get how his mind works. We have a big rolling trash cart from the city that is specifically for recyclables. Dh always wheels this and the bigger trash cart to the curb on Sunday nights. Last week, he said to me, "Wow. The recycling bin is actually full this week." I said, "That's because you never put the recycling from the house or garage in it before you wheel it down. I usually do it on Monday mornings, but I did it early this week." Fast forward to yesterday. I was gone most of the afternoon at my mom's, visiting family from out of town. I come home in the late evening, and the trash carts are already out front. Later, I go to throw something in the recycling bin in the kitchen, and it's completely full. So, I guess he didn't take the hint to actually empty the recyclables into the cart before he wheels it out there! :lol: I'm failing to understand the problem :D Bill Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thescrappyhomeschooler Posted January 10, 2012 Author Share Posted January 10, 2012 When I first read your post, I immediately thought of this Jeff Foxworthy routine on the differences between how men and women communicate. I couldn't find it then, but just ran across it again this weekend. The whole thing is funny, but 3:50 to the end is the most pertinent part. :D Listening to it now. Hilarious. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teachin'Mine Posted January 10, 2012 Share Posted January 10, 2012 Yep- hints don't work here. The direct approach is best. I remember when this clearly hit home for me. Me: I would like an ice tea. Him: hmm Me: There is a McDonalds. Him: Driving right by it... Me: I wanted an iced tea and you just passed a McDonalds Him: I didn't know you wanted me to stop :lol: Yes - this!!!!!!!!!!! :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RoughCollie Posted January 10, 2012 Share Posted January 10, 2012 (That's another thing. Most men are very routine-oriented. Any change to that routine requires time and reinforcement to take effect.) You mean my DH is not simply stuck in a rut so deep that he can't see over the top of it, like I explained to him last night? Time and reinforcement ... there is hope! :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MamaSheep Posted January 10, 2012 Share Posted January 10, 2012 When I first read your post, I immediately thought of this Jeff Foxworthy routine on the differences between how men and women communicate. I couldn't find it then, but just ran across it again this weekend. The whole thing is funny, but 3:50 to the end is the most pertinent part. :D That is HILLARIOUS! How did I miss that the first time around? So glad you shared that, I needed a giggle this morning. Speaking as a man, yes, exactly. We men don't do hints. If you want me to put the stuff in the bin, ask me specifically to put the stuff in the bin. Otherwise, you're just telling me what you do. If you ask me to do it, I'll do it, if I remember to do it. (That's another thing. Most men are very routine-oriented. Any change to that routine requires time and reinforcement to take effect.) Thank you for the vindication. I sometimes think my husband is a very lucky man to have married a gal who grew up with a dad and four brothers in the house (also two sisters and only one bathroom, but that's a whole other set of life lessons). I don't even fuss about the position of the toilet seat; I learned to check before I sat down about the time I was big enough to climb up and fall in. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheHomeScientist Posted January 10, 2012 Share Posted January 10, 2012 You mean my DH is not simply stuck in a rut so deep that he can't see over the top of it, like I explained to him last night? Time and reinforcement ... there is hope! :D Of course there is. Back when I was in college, I never put the toilet seat down. After the third time my girlfriend sat down on the bare porcelain, she left me. Literally, right in the middle of the night. She'd warned me twice before, but after the third time she just refused to speak to me. Being a guy, I realized this was going to be an ongoing problem, so I came up with a guy-solution. I knew there was no way I'd *always* remember to put the seat back down, so if I didn't want to risk losing more girlfriends the only solution was never to put the seat up. Ever since then, I've never raised a toilet seat. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LostSurprise Posted January 10, 2012 Share Posted January 10, 2012 As a woman in a house with 5 males...I WANT them to put the seat up. Pleasepleasepleasepleaseplease...just leave it up. Really. I can put it down. I just don't like midnight surprises and having to wipe it down 5x a day. And directness with husbands is my best advice at bridal showers. It only took me 2 years of marriage for that one. :rolleyes: You could chart me getting progressively more blunt over that time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thescrappyhomeschooler Posted January 10, 2012 Author Share Posted January 10, 2012 As a woman in a house with 5 males...I WANT them to put the seat up. Pleasepleasepleasepleaseplease...just leave it up. Really. I can put it down. I just don't like midnight surprises and having to wipe it down 5x a day. And directness with husbands is my best advice at bridal showers. It only took me 2 years of marriage for that one. :rolleyes: You could chart me getting progressively more blunt over that time. :iagree: I'd much rather remember to put the seat down myself than to sit on someone else's pee pee, which I have done WAY TOO MANY TIMES! Now, in the daylight, if I see it on the seat, I call the offender in to wipe the seat down. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheHomeScientist Posted January 10, 2012 Share Posted January 10, 2012 As a woman in a house with 5 males...I WANT them to put the seat up. Pleasepleasepleasepleaseplease...just leave it up. Really. I can put it down. I just don't like midnight surprises and having to wipe it down 5x a day. And directness with husbands is my best advice at bridal showers. It only took me 2 years of marriage for that one. :rolleyes: You could chart me getting progressively more blunt over that time. Ah, I just realized that my post was ambiguous. I didn't mean that I left the seat down and continued to stand to urinate. Do guys really do that? I think I might have done it once when I was about four years old, but my mother saw to it that I never even thought about doing that again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thescrappyhomeschooler Posted January 10, 2012 Author Share Posted January 10, 2012 Ah, I just realized that my post was ambiguous. I didn't mean that I left the seat down and continued to stand to urinate. Do guys really do that? I think I might have done it once when I was about four years old, but my mother saw to it that I never even thought about doing that again. Well, dh always remembers to lift the seat, but my boys do not. Dh will put it back down about 30% of the time, too. The boys never put it back down. I'm already yelling "Lift the seat!" about 20 times a day. I don't want to add "Put the seat back down!" to my repertoire. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tntgoodwin Posted January 10, 2012 Share Posted January 10, 2012 In the male mind that was not a hint. That was an explanation as to when YOU take care of the task, meaning that you've got it covered, and he doesn't need to worry about it. If you want him to do it you should explicitly ask him to. Nicely. Because in his mind you've already taken responsibility for it, and now you're shifting your work onto him, not explaining that this is part of his work that he's been neglecting. :) :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teachin'Mine Posted January 10, 2012 Share Posted January 10, 2012 The Martians apparently are all in agreement with Mr. Scrappyhomeschooler. They tend to do that IRL too. :tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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