Is your family supportive of your decision to homeschool?

[ForeverFamily]

My Mom & Dad are very supportive. They have to be, because my Mom homeschooled me!;)

 

My MIL is also supportive. I am not the first on my husbands side to homeschool.

 

My extended family is a whole different story. My mom had a heated conversation with one of my cousins (who is a teacher) about HSing. However, I only see them a couple of times a year. And, thankfully one of my cousin's kids are homeschooled so I am not alone.

[LMD]

They think we're a bit strange, and are a little worried we'll pass that on to the kids! But they know how stubborn we are so they at least act supportive!

[table4five]

My mom understands the reasons why we do it. My MIL has made a comment before that she thinks it is a good idea, considering what she sees going on in the world.

 

My dad (passed away) was not thrilled about it, but I guess was ok with it. He would say, "What about proms, meeting friends, socializing, dances, etc" I stopped arguing after a while.

 

My 3 brothers say nothing about it and don't even ask about the kids. Maybe they want to avoid the subject all together. Actually , I take that back, my oldest brother, said he is considering hs'ing his daughter (she is only 1 right now). He understands my reasons and he is kind of anti public schools.

 

All the other relatives never even ask me how the kids are or what grade they are in , because I believe they just want to avoid the subject. Oh well.

 

Kristen

[AmyinMD]

Neither of our families has ever been supportive and we've been homeschooling since 2003. In some ways I'm used to it now but it would be nice to get an occasional nice comment. My dad is semi supportive in that we've really never discussed it. He says my kids all seem happy and that's all he cares about. Last year he bought us a nice microscope as a Christmas present because he knew we homeschool. My mom and mil are both PS teachers and likely will never be supportive. When we first started homeschooling my mil told me that I was going to ruin her grandchildren. Eight years later and I don't think I've ruined them yet.

 

Last year we sent our oldest dd to PS for the first time ever. She had a terrible year (honor roll the whole year- it was awful due to social stuff) and is back home this year. Last year my mom and my mil showed so much interest and excitement about her school work. They never ask what we are working on with homeschooling. When we decided to pull our dd out of school at the end of last year my mil tried to call the school to block us from doing that. My fil did make her apologize for that which she did very begrudgingly. She's constantly making comments about how wonderful public schools are even when she knows we've had tons of trouble getting services through our district for our child with Autism.

 

My mom sent me a very long letter when our oldest was in 1st grade begging us to enroll dd. This dd has dyslexia and struggled to read. Both grandmas blamed it on homeschooling even though my dh is also dyslexic. My mom was semi supportive when we pulled our oldest out of school last year but she also knew my dd was miserable. For whatever reason she thinks CC Challenge is an actual school so has been semi supportive about that choice.

 

My oldest dd is planning to attend high school next year so I'm sure the families with both be thrilled. I did tell my mom that my second oldest wasn't planning to go to high school but she says I really need to force her because it would be best for her. My 11 yo at this point has never been to school and has no interest in going. Our county is getting a Classical Charter School next year which I've been considering trying the lottery for that. I'm sure if any of the kids go that our families will think I've finally come to my senses.

[jasar31629]

We don't have contact with dh's side of the family (immediate) and aren't very close with extended family. My side of the family is super supportive and positive. In fact, my mom gave me a much needed boost when I waffled around 1st grade for dd. She said with all the time I'd put in and all the planning/dreaming/etc. etc. that I owed it to my family to at least see it through for a time! I was concerned about jobs/finances and was having a wee bit of a crisis of confidence. It was great to have that push...once I was over that bump in the road I've yet to look back. I'm sure I'll fret again in a few years as we near middle school...but now I have other homeschool friends who can ride out those times with me. :)

[Rosie_0801]

The ones who matter are gung ho supportive. :D

 

The inlaws aren't, but know I care nothing for their opinion and have been told enough by dh to understand that he doesn't either. MIL will make digs sometimes, FIL seems to have had an epiphany in the last few years and no longer believes me to be a complete idiot. :rolleyes:

 

The rest, having been assured that homeschooling will not prevent them having manners (Mum,) learning maths (Dad,) and that bullying really isn't society's gift to our optimal development (sister,) are fine with it. The other aunt I speak to thinks it is not for them, but a perfectly acceptable option. My grandmother tells me about all the homeschooling articles in the local newspaper :lol:

 

My strategy was to talk about it incessantly while my first was too young even for preschool so they'd all be bored to death of the subject when the kids actually reached school age. Apart from my unpleasant mother in law, it's all old news and hardly worth commenting on other than the occasional comment from my brother. Usually he's telling me about a groovy Aboriginal studies resource, or being happy that my kids won't grow up to be as boring as most of the people he works with. He says that every time he moves jobs. :001_huh:

 

Rosie

[Tarreymere]

We are 'the crazy ones' who always did things differently anyway. Our families never understood us or why we made the choices we have made to begin with. Homeschooling is just another example of how crazy we are. Dh is very articulate in explaining exactly why we do as we do, and I enjoy listening to him when he lays out the arguements since he has a great way with words and makes a lot of sense. No one in either of our families is able to debate with him but they still disagree with us, they just are wary of getting Dh started. So, any topic that involves a manifestation of our weirdness is handled by the extended family very delicately, sort of like a 'humor the crazy folk' approach. I find it amusing.

[Parker Martin]

We are 'the crazy ones' who always did things differently anyway. Our families never understood us or why we made the choices we have made to begin with. Homeschooling is just another example of how crazy we are. Dh is very articulate in explaining exactly why we do as we do, and I enjoy listening to him when he lays out the arguements since he has a great way with words and makes a lot of sense. No one in either of our families is able to debate with him but they still disagree with us, they just are wary of getting Dh started. So, any topic that involves a manifestation of our weirdness is handled by the extended family very delicately, sort of like a 'humor the crazy folk' approach. I find it amusing.

 

Ha ha ha. I can relate to every bit of this.

[Socalimom]

I know my DH and Mom are not completely on board with my decision to homeschool, but they won't say so. Probably because I have taught in a public school and have a bachelor's in liberal studies and master's in childhood/elementary education, they won't/can't say anything. :001_smile:

Though, it would be super nice to have that support system.

[higginszoo]

My parents and my grandmother are VERY supportive. My brother, now that he has his own child who has some of the same issues that have mine at home, is pretty receptive ... it's not really on my other brother's radar, one way or the other.

 

Dh's parents are neutral on the topic -- not unsupportive, but not completely sold on the idea, either, even after all of these years. One sister is much like her parents, the other is a little more hostile to the idea.

 

It's really such a foreign concept to the rest of the extended family that they don't really don't know what to think, but they're used to it after 9 years, and they're generally far away, so we don't have a lot of contact with any of them.

[FairyMom]

Well, dh is very supportive; it was his suggestion when I was pregnant with our second. MIL thinks we are very strange anyway, and this just puts the cherry on top, so to speak. She doesn't say anything anymore, but there's tension. We don't see much of her, so that helps. My dad is thrilled. He wanted my stepmom to homeschool my sister when she was born. She's 14 and still no luck with that. :) My mom and stepdad are on board, but they ask a lot of questions. I guess it's great because they are really good questions and they love the girls and spend a lot of time with them. Overall, our family is very supportive. :D

[trlt]

We have the support of my parents. My in-law's we aren't so sure about. My father-in-law was pretty impressed with dd's reading ability and we thought that they were warming up to the idea but then on Thanksgiving we were over at their house and my mother-in-law asked if we were still entertaining the idea of homeschooling next year (dd would start public school next year if she were going). I said we were definitely homeschooling and she mumbled something about socialization. I think it's just something completely foreign to them and my mil works in ps so I'm sure it's that too. Hopefully they keep their comments to themselves but I'm not too worried about it! We are making the right choice for our family, period!

[mothergooseof4]

This is my 11th year to hs. When late dh and I told our parents that we were pulling my stepdd out of school to hs her my mom was like, "whatever." I think she and my stepdad thought it was a passing fancy, but my mom knows me and my independence. If she had any negative comments she would have known that I would have politely given her my reasons and a little research and left it at that. My stepsis started hsing the same year. I think stepdad was more vocal to her with his doubts, but he never said anything to me. Now, stepdad says that all of his hsed grandkids are much bettered prepared for real life and are more pleasant to be around. My mom passed away a few years ago, but she was well on board with it all for many years.

 

My late dh's parents were both appalled when we anounced our decision to hs stepdd. His dad is not as opinionated as his mom so he kept his cool, expressed his doubts, and then kept his mouth shut after that. He will now tell you that he thinks it is an awesome thing for my kids and that he knows I am raising my kids the way late dh and I felt God had led us to. His mom has made many comments over the years. She still doesn't like it. She actually cried once when she asked me what reading level stepdd was at and I told her I didn't know a specific grade level because we are not required to do standardized tests. I explained to her that stepdd was reading books that were rated above her grade level and that I didn't feel the need to do any other testing just to have a label assigned to her. After late dh passed I think she expected me to start my ds in ps for a "break" for myself. I had three kids 5 and under and I think she thought I wouldn't be able to handle it all. She has also made comments since about how my kids aren't athletic because they aren't in ps?????? She was once watching one of the kids for me and I sent over a math worksheet for him to work on while there. She then started questioning me about why he wasn't learning X, Y, Z. I explained to her that what she was concerned about was way above the level of a ___ grader, but that it would be covered when he was ready. After that, I didn't bother to send school work if I needed her to watch them. Otherwise, she is very supportive of me and how I raise the kids. She would be the first to support me if my parenting was ever brought into question. She would voice her concerns on this one issue, but it is just something we have agreed to disagree on. We love each other and just don't discuss it anymore.

 

My sis is a ps teacher, but completely supportive of my decision to hs and understands why I do so.

 

Late dh's sis is totally against it and has her dd tell my kids they should insist that they want to go to ps.

 

My new dh's parents are supportive. MIL even says that she wishes she had known about hs when her kids were young.

[roanna]

My sister paved the way for me. She is 13 years older than me so she helped break the ice for the idea even though at that time they were very much against it(and not too many people were doing it), that was about 20 years ago. Now, here I am with a 5 year old and a 2 year old and my parents think it's great. They do once in a while suggest my son needs to get more socialization but he is not so much that kind of kid, so I just smile and don't comment.

[honumom]

hmmm, my parents... at first VERY VERY uncertain, paranoidly worried. Now... I think they have given up asking me pointed questions. I was very upset at the beginning. They might be warming up... hopefully. My hubby's parents - very supportive! All in all... starting homeschooling was tough - seeking acceptance from family. Ultimately, we do what we feel is best no matter what others think...

[littleWMN]

My inlaws are obsessed with yearly standardized testing.

[Grover]

DH is very much on board (more so than me some days) :001_smile:

 

PIL are neutral - they seem to trust us to make the right choices

 

My mother is "very concerned" and tries to undermine us at every turn - but then she does that with anything I think is important, hence she doesn't see much of my children.

 

My father likes that he can spend time with the kids during the day - and mostly supports us when he hasn't been listening to my mother's drivel too long.

[happycc]

No one supports us homeschooling the girls...

 

I only receive support from husband. We get homeschool support from other homeschooling families and of course from here.

 

We did get the ex wife to somewhat agree to me homeschooling the girls but she wanted to get more time with the girls or something like that. Nonetheless we got her ok on the email. Not risking the girls increasing time with her since she is addicted to legalized drugs and falls asleep all of a sudden. Plus there is lots of domestic violence over at her house.

 

I don;t per se need the support. I know what I am doing is the best thing. First time around I wasn;t so sure. This time around I KNOW!

[MeganW]

My MIL is a retired English teacher. It wouldn't have been her preference for us to HS, but she knows that it is our decision, and she can go along with it or get out of the way, so when we announced that we were doing it for sure, she offered to assist with Latin, French, and writing as need be. Her best friend was a 1st grade teacher, and my MIL is always wanting to check with the friend about everything.

 

My own parents are NOT supportive at all. I was very close to my mom before this, and it has ruined our relationship. I can't say one thing to her without it turning into her getting in digs on HSing. "My kids sure were wild at the park tonight!" "Well, they are just so lonely at home without other kids - they just haven't had a chance to learn those social skills!" (This was this summer - my kids went to preschool, so they hadn't even missed any public school yet!)

 

To get past the initial resentment over HSing, I told my parents that it was primarily so that my children could continue to get physical, occupational, and vision therapy, which they would not have time to do if they went to traditional school. Now every time I see my parents, they are asking how much longer til we finish therapy. (They don't approve of all this therapy either. They are in total denial.)

 

And the big question - what are we going to do with my youngest (who is completely typical, and so not in any therapies). I told them over Thanksgiving that we would probably homeschool for next year as well so we could finish our therapies, and I would probably keep all 4 just to avoid having to run too many different schedules. Cue Grandma's nostril flaring & sighing.

Edited November 27, 2011 by MeganW