Audrey Posted November 19, 2011 Share Posted November 19, 2011 Couple of things.... and please take them in the spirit of pragmatism that they are intended. I've BTDT and I am done taking bulls#!t -- even from family. No excuses anymore, hon. You have to cut her out from YOUR life. Your dh should be a grown up by now. If he won't cut her off, then HE needs to deal with it. Quite frankly, a man who won't run interference for his newly post-partum wife is... let's just say that I don't have a very generous word for that. You've done enough of "offering him relief" as you put it. You have 1) RSD 2) several children at home 3) a brand new baby 4) several years of having to put up with this donkey already, and 5) a full plate of stress already. Your dh needs to step up to that plate and unload some of it. The ONE thing he should take off it is HER, his own mother. Girlfriend he owes you at least that much. If you feel you must support your dh, then do it after he's had to have contact with her. Be there for him to vent or cry or whatever, but LET HIM HANDLE HER. On the practical side: Set a filter on your email to dump everything from her into your junk folder. Empty the junk folder without looking at any of it. Refuse to answer her calls. Get an answering machine or voice mail if you don't already have it. Call display will help in not picking up when it is her. Draw the final line in the sand and make her aware that she's not welcome in your home while you or the children are there. If she wants to visit your dh, she can do it away from the home or while you and the children are out. Seriously. She's poisoned you all enough. If you keep allowing her into your life, then you are giving her permission to continue poisoning you and your children. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted November 19, 2011 Author Share Posted November 19, 2011 He did and is running intereference, Audrey. Email is mine, not ours, so he doesn't ever access it. That's how she's been communicating, via email, likely b/c she can't get me on the phone. I haven't and won't talk to her at this point. He knows this. As for visits, she's in another province. As far as we know, she won't travel til at least spring. Distance is the one saving grace. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scrapbookbuzz Posted November 19, 2011 Share Posted November 19, 2011 Some people are just like that, unfortunately. My daughter, when she was 5, and even my son, did not like to/was not able to color inside the lines. Another homeschooling mom said something like, "Well, they need to learn how to color inside the lines because it will eventually help them with their writing." :001_huh: I told her I wasn't going to make my kid color inside the lines if she didn't want to! Seriously. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Audrey Posted November 19, 2011 Share Posted November 19, 2011 He did and is running intereference, Audrey. Email is mine, not ours, so he doesn't ever access it. That's how she's been communicating, via email, likely b/c she can't get me on the phone. Good, now that's got to be his permanent job. You can be there for him at home, but you don't need to run go-between ever again. I haven't and won't talk to her at this point. He knows this. Good again... now junk her email and cut off her last line of attack to you. As for visits, she's in another province. As far as we know, she won't travel til at least spring. Distance is the one saving grace. Thank goodness for bitter cold Canadian winters and huge expanses of country, eh? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted November 19, 2011 Author Share Posted November 19, 2011 Thank goodness for bitter cold Canadian winters and huge expanses of country, eh? Ohhhhh, yes. Never thought I'd be grateful for an Edmonton winter! :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annandatje Posted November 19, 2011 Share Posted November 19, 2011 Couple of things.... and please take them in the spirit of pragmatism that they are intended. I've BTDT and I am done taking bulls#!t -- even from family. No excuses anymore, hon. You have to cut her out from YOUR life. Your dh should be a grown up by now. If he won't cut her off, then HE needs to deal with it. Quite frankly, a man who won't run interference for his newly post-partum wife is... let's just say that I don't have a very generous word for that. You've done enough of "offering him relief" as you put it. You have 1) RSD 2) several children at home 3) a brand new baby 4) several years of having to put up with this donkey already, and 5) a full plate of stress already. Your dh needs to step up to that plate and unload some of it. The ONE thing he should take off it is HER, his own mother. Girlfriend he owes you at least that much. If you feel you must support your dh, then do it after he's had to have contact with her. Be there for him to vent or cry or whatever, but LET HIM HANDLE HER. On the practical side: Set a filter on your email to dump everything from her into your junk folder. Empty the junk folder without looking at any of it. Refuse to answer her calls. Get an answering machine or voice mail if you don't already have it. Call display will help in not picking up when it is her. Draw the final line in the sand and make her aware that she's not welcome in your home while you or the children are there. If she wants to visit your dh, she can do it away from the home or while you and the children are out. Seriously. She's poisoned you all enough. If you keep allowing her into your life, then you are giving her permission to continue poisoning you and your children. :iagree::iagree::iagree: Keep the bolded in mind when m-i-l announces her post-thaw visit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mynyel Posted November 19, 2011 Share Posted November 19, 2011 He did and is running intereference, Audrey. Email is mine, not ours, so he doesn't ever access it. That's how she's been communicating, via email, likely b/c she can't get me on the phone. I haven't and won't talk to her at this point. He knows this. As for visits, she's in another province. As far as we know, she won't travel til at least spring. Distance is the one saving grace. Good for you. I am the same way with dh family. He deals with them not me. Always have been that way. Haven't seen most of them in almost a year. Mil I haven't seen in over 10 years. Nope she hasn't ever met her two grandsons and my oldest son is almost 10. I think that is a good thing :) :grouphug: Wash your hands and be done. If you don't want to delete the email I would filter it to automatically forward it to Wolf :D. Wonder if you could forward only her calls to him too? ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Puma Mom Posted November 19, 2011 Share Posted November 19, 2011 Some people just seem wired to find fault. You're right to reduce her opportunities to find fault with your dc. My grandmother was like that. My oldest was reading a book to her once. He was THREE years old and reading quite well. (Nothing I did really--he just badly wanted to read, and he's stubborn!) My grandmother had worked in the school system for years as a reading specialist. Her comment on his reading? "He needs to turn the pages from the bottom instead of the top because he might tear them." Not that he had ever torn a page, but he might. No comment on his reading. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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