Jean in Newcastle Posted October 31, 2011 Share Posted October 31, 2011 As I've sort of expected (because of the personalities involved) there was an ugly break up of the bff status of dd9 and the Neighbor Diva. I had already been trying to keep dd9 occupied so that she didn't have much time to see the girl next door but had not banned the friendship outright. Now that there has been this blow up, dd9 has shared even more about how this "mean girl" was treating her. The Neighbor Diva has not talked to her in 3 weeks, which has been a blessing on one hand, but a difficult situation for dd9 on the other. Dd9 is handling it very well, though and is starting to realize on her own that this was not a healthy friendship. She has a number of Neighbor Diva's belongings and wants to return them. I'm a bit afraid that returning them will involve more drama of the ugly kind. While I've let them work out things in the past, this is one time when I'm wondering if I should step in as a Gatekeeper of sorts - to return the things and to provide a buffer so that dd9 does not have to listen to more abuse or possibly manipulation to reinstate the relationship once Neighbor Diva realizes that dd9 is moving on. What do you think? Do you think there is a time for the mom of a tween to act as a gatekeeper? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie_0801 Posted October 31, 2011 Share Posted October 31, 2011 Yeah, I do. Why go looking for reasons to spark drama? Enough drama happens naturally. Making your daughter do it won't help any one in any way so why put yourselves through the stress when it will be too easy to drop off those things when you're on your way to an appointment somewhere? So sorry, no time to chat. Rosie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IsabelC Posted October 31, 2011 Share Posted October 31, 2011 I think it would be fine for you to drop the things off to the girl or to her parents. And then maybe start organizing some fun activities with the family and/or other friends so your dd isn't tempted to renew the unhealthy friendship? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hedgehog Posted October 31, 2011 Share Posted October 31, 2011 (edited) Definitely. And don't feel badly about it. Edited October 31, 2011 by Hedgehog Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RoughCollie Posted October 31, 2011 Share Posted October 31, 2011 I agree with everybody else. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lizzie in Ma Posted October 31, 2011 Share Posted October 31, 2011 I agree with everybody else. yeah Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TKDmom Posted October 31, 2011 Share Posted October 31, 2011 I wouldn't hesitate to drop them off myself. I don't see any reason why dd should have to do it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FiveOaksAcademy Posted October 31, 2011 Share Posted October 31, 2011 (edited) . Edited November 5, 2011 by FiveOaksAcademy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tammyla Posted October 31, 2011 Share Posted October 31, 2011 :iagree: 100% Here are your things, No time to chat. Yeah, I do. Why go looking for reasons to spark drama? Enough drama happens naturally. Making your daughter do it won't help any one in any way so why put yourselves through the stress when it will be too easy to drop off those things when you're on your way to an appointment somewhere? So sorry, no time to chat. Rosie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted October 31, 2011 Share Posted October 31, 2011 Yeah, I do. Why go looking for reasons to spark drama? Enough drama happens naturally. Making your daughter do it won't help any one in any way so why put yourselves through the stress when it will be too easy to drop off those things when you're on your way to an appointment somewhere? So sorry, no time to chat. Rosie :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted October 31, 2011 Author Share Posted October 31, 2011 Thank you. I told dd9 to collect all the stuff that belongs to Neighbor Diva ( a surprising amount since they had a clubhouse together that was in our garage). I'll be taking it over later. She asked if she should return her half of their bff necklace but I said no, that it was a gift and I thought that returning it would cross over into being mean. She was relieved - she still likes the necklace even though she doesn't think of her as her bff anymore. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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