Mynyel Posted October 30, 2011 Share Posted October 30, 2011 I found this today... English is the most widely used language in the history of our planet. One in every 7 humans can speak it. More than half of the world's books and 3 quarters of international mail is in English. Of all the languages,it has the largest vocabulary - perhaps as many as 2 MILLION words. Nonetheless, let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend, that you comb thru annals of history but not a single annal? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it? If teachers taught, why didn't preacher praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? If you wrote a letter, perhaps you bote your tongue? Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell? How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and wise guy are opposites? How can overlook and oversee be opposites, while quite a lot and quite a few are alike? How can the weather be hot as hell one day and cold as hell another? Have you noticed that we talk about certain things only when they are absent? Have you ever seen a horseful carriage or a strapful gown? Met a sung hero or experienced requited love? Have you ever run into someone who was combobulated, gruntled, ruly or peccable? And where are all those people who ARE spring chickens or who would ACTUALLY hurt a fly? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm clock goes off by going on. English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race (which, of course, isn't a race at all). That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible. And why, when I wind up my watch, I start it, but when I wind up this essay, I end it. It is from this book. I really cracked me up! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Susann Posted October 30, 2011 Share Posted October 30, 2011 Oh, how funny!!! Thanks for the laugh this morning! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted October 30, 2011 Share Posted October 30, 2011 :lol::lol: my son will love these. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thescrappyhomeschooler Posted October 30, 2011 Share Posted October 30, 2011 Love it! I've always wondered why we drive on a parkway and park in a driveway. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChristusG Posted October 30, 2011 Share Posted October 30, 2011 Yes, this is exactly why homeschooling makes me crazy LOL! Teaching this stuff to kids is just confusing. The English language (along with its phonics and such) is completely insane. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Julie Smith Posted October 30, 2011 Share Posted October 30, 2011 These things rare neat. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KidsHappen Posted October 30, 2011 Share Posted October 30, 2011 I own this book. I was walking through a bookstore and I stopped to puruse this books and ended up laughing the whole time I was reading it so I had to buy it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annlaura Posted October 30, 2011 Share Posted October 30, 2011 That's really great! :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
akmommy Posted October 30, 2011 Share Posted October 30, 2011 :lol:Awesome! I have to read the rest. Thanks for adding to my already long Amazon wish list.:tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IsabelC Posted October 31, 2011 Share Posted October 31, 2011 I love things like that. But I like it even more when the explanations behind all those little quirks are also included. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liz CA Posted October 31, 2011 Share Posted October 31, 2011 Appreciate what foreigners have to learn to become fluent in English, especially in colloquial English. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
desertmum Posted October 31, 2011 Share Posted October 31, 2011 Appreciate what foreigners have to learn to become fluent in English, especially in colloquial English. ;) Not to mention that some of us "have to learn to become fluent in colloquial English" from one continent, move to another, and then start all over again. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joyofsixreboot Posted October 31, 2011 Share Posted October 31, 2011 Very funny and of course very true:lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mothersweets Posted October 31, 2011 Share Posted October 31, 2011 I love it - added the book to my amazon wish list. Thanks! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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