Speaking of people who have no one.....

[amy g.]

A couple of weeks ago, a boy that we went to high school with had a stroke in the middle of the grocery store. He was recovering in the hospital with his wife when he had another massive stroke that left him in a coma.

 

The hospital wasn't far away, so my friend went to visit. When she was there, she saw that the family had had no cards, flowers or visitors for days. The parents understood that he would never recover, but his wife was holding out hope despite the doctor's evaluations.

 

My friend saw people in desperate need, and started visiting them every day. Then he was moved to a hospice facility an hour away, and still she drove over there to support a wife and parents she had never met before this tragedy.

 

This had been a boy we all knew and liked, but we never did anything with him outside of school when we were young. He wasn't our best friend he wasn't our brother. And yet she visited day after day when she finished a full day of work, and finished taking care of her son who she has raised alone.

 

I was going to visit once, but my kids started getting sick, and I really have so much on my plate right now, so my friend went alone. I was at her house until 8 pm on Tuesday. When I left, she was gathering her things to make the hour drive to hospice when the dad called to say his son had passes. He started crying when he thanked my friend for her relentless devotion and support.

 

Of course she left at once to stay while they made funeral arrangements. And wait for the representative from the funeral home.

 

I'm so in awe of her willingness to give what she already has so little of to people we don't know just because she saw how desperate their need for friendship was.

 

I tried to tell her it was a huge, hide thing to visit every day for weeks. It was so emotionally draining to watch. Person slowly dying. My husband said that many people can't do that for their very best friends or siblings.

 

I guess I'm just sharing how my heart has been touched. And asking for prayers for the grieving wife and parents.

 

Thanks!

Edited October 27, 2011 by amy g.

[amy g.]

I tried to fix the typos but I can't get the edit to work on the iPad. Sorry.

[hmvaughan4]

Wow. What a blessing for that family to have her support.

[lulubelle]

That was really amazing of your friend to do that! It takes a very special and empathetic person to be there in that situation. She is an inspiration! Prayers to the family and their loss.

[Osmosis Mom]

Very touching. And sad that not more people reached out. A reminder that we should care.

[mom2denj]

Thanks for posting this! It is a reminder that we all need to reach out and get out of our comfort zone! Praying for the family!

[Jyniffrec]

Your friend sounds like an amazing person. You are lucky to have her.

 

I was trying to come up with a response to what she did and was coming up short. Then I remembered this woman with whom I was assigned to do a service project with while I was in Cairo, Egypt about 14 years ago. She was a widow whose husband had died young. When that happened she began visiting the poor and the sick and giving them money. We went into some very destitute places (buildings that Napolean's soldiers had built that were literally covered in dust and cobwebs in the stairways and halls). She was the only person they might see. She would go in and ask how they were, give them money and listen to their complaints. She might tell them that smoking was bad for them or some other motherly admonition and then we would go on to the next person. It was the loveliest thing I had ever seen or have yet seen to this day.

 

As it turns out, this is what women have done traditionally (at least in the east, although this lady is Episcopalian) if they have found themselves single and without children to raise. Of course, most women don't do this, but the ones who are strong and have a good heart and are willing to do something to touch other people's lives do it enough that there are stories about them and many of them are saints.

 

I have the utmost respect for people like your friend.

[Little Nyssa]

I really appreciate that story. What also strikes me is that she was helpful and they were grateful-- she was not intrusive. Sometimes I worry too much about whether I would be a bother during a stressful time.

[littlebug42]

I really appreciate that story. What also strikes me is that she was helpful and they were grateful-- she was not intrusive. Sometimes I worry too much about whether I would be a bother during a stressful time.

 

This story touched my heart. Good for your friend. I can remember when my FIL, who had many friends, was bedridden from cancer. Very few of his friends ever came to see him. He was heartbroken and felt totally abandoned. From that perspective, I would say that it wouldn't be a bother to have people that care visit. He could have used the visits and my MIL could have used the respite as she was his sole caretaker. It is a hard thing to watch but it is even harder for the families and the dying especially if they feel alone.

[SweetMissMagnolia]

:grouphug:

[kalanamak]

 

I tried to tell her it was a huge, hide thing to visit every day for weeks. It was so emotionally draining to watch. Person slowly dying. My husband said that many people can't do that for their very best friends or siblings.

 

 

 

And therefore those who can really should. When I'm asked why I do the undesirable job I do, I tell people I am part of a society that protects me from the hard edges of the world. If I CAN do a job many others can't, I SHOULD do this job.

 

Also, something people who "can't" do this kind of thing don't know is that 1) you can get used to many things with a little effort, 2) there is the reward of feeling like an honestly decent person while you drive home, 3) all of us owe something to someone you can't pay back, so why not pay it on to someone else, 4) you are giving the best ethics lesson to a child (better than any values curriculum), and 5) if you aren't willing to do it for someone, why would you ever deserve it yourself?

[amy g.]

She told me that it was like so many difficult things, at first she thought, "This is too hard." but then once she started, she realized, "Oh, I can do this."

 

I am just really in awe because I know how much of a sacrifice it was. And how much of a blessing it has been.

[beccad777]

What a touching story! :grouphug: