Swimming against the tide .... politically

[Paisley Hedgehog]

.

[justamouse]

:grouphug:

[Starr]

It's tough to be in your position but sometimes we just have to state our opinions. But are you prepared for the consequenses? :grouphug:

[kalanamak]

 

Wow. What a downer. :nopity:

 

I follow my wise mother's advice and don't discuss politics unless I am at a forum specifically for that. I consider it infra dig. Every now and then, when really pushed by a circle of co-workers to weigh in and prove I'm "with them", I tell them my mother's philosophy. I'm sure it is a bit rude, but pushing someone to cough up their views is rude, too.

 

I have a family member who went off the deep end in his/her 50s and will discuss almost nothing but politics. This witty and well read person is now "Harry one note" and tedious. It is really sad. Anyway, I had breakfast with this person and half of his/her kids and this person got revved up on some dogmatic political opinion. I could see his/her grown but young kids literally stiffen up at how inappropriate this was, and I quickly did a "pass the bean dip" change of subject (which I would have done stiffened kids or no). It worked. I then saw these kids relax. How sad this former mentor of mine couldn't even see the action in his/her children, so obsessed with the hot issue of the day was s/he. I lay it at the feet of endorphins. :)

 

And every time I have to listen to two people rant on and on about a ball game of some sort, I soothe my mind with the fact it could be worse: they could be yapping about politics.

[LaxMom]

I have the same problem. I am generally not one to hide my opinions but people seem to "share" their political views with such vitriol - particularly on FB - that I just refuse to engage. If they would like to have a conversation, fine. But these posts always seem like the author is just daring anyone to disagree so they can lash out. I want no part.

:grouphug: to you, though, for being willing to step into the fray.

[Farrar]

To me, this is sort of what's wrong with how politics is dealt with socially overall. Many if not most people don't have friends who disagree with them in a friendly way about politics. To step out of line from your community, family or church is seen as deeply negative. :( I think people would be more even tempered, more able to compromise and think for themselves if they did have friends on both sides of the aisle so to speak.

 

No idea what the issue is or whether or not I would agree with you or "them" but I applaud you for thinking for yourself and I hope it turns out you have friends and a community who will as well. Is there a way to say "I have a different opinion on this" and then move on to the things you do agree about or the things you have in common? Or do you feel completely out of step with everyone overall and feel like you need a new community of friends?

[Once]

I always tread that one very very carefully. It may not matter to you that you have friends that think differently but some people will behave in ways that make friendships difficult. If I feel the need to discuss ideas that may be counter culture, I usually do it with my husband or a friend in private so I know it isn't "out there" to be misunderstood (ie. on FB). Then I can guage the friendship to see if it changes. I choose those friends that I talk with privately based on previous disscussions where we have disageed to see if they are comfortable with discussion around differences of opinion (on other topics....such as parenting or homeschooling philosophy). Some people are not comfortable with that, but I still want to be on good terms with them even if they are not my close friends. I do this because I am very isolated in how much I agree with people and I still need functioning friendships in everyday life. If I was in a location where there was more of an equal balance then I might hit is head on with a bit more confidence.

 

I hope you find what works for you. It is challenging not feeling like you belong philosophically. Unfortunately, if it is around politics, it may take more than a year of waiting for it to pass.

[I talk to the trees]

I know we are not supposed to talk about politics on the boards so I hope I can express this without getting the thread locked or myself banned.

 

There is a *big* ideological issue coming to ballot in our state in a couple of weeks. Most of the churches (and around here that's a LOT) have come out on one side of the issue. There are signs on every street corner. ALL of my FB friends have RSVP'd to vote one way.

 

I'm the only one I know of who doesn't agree.

 

I have kept quiet until today in the interest of not being a total social pariah. But I've had enough. If everyone else can espouse their political views all over FB, why should I not do the same? This is one of those times when I realize just how out-of-step I am with most of the people I know and friends I care about. Just how much I continue to play a role that I despise; not just about this issue, but in a general sense.

 

Wow. What a downer. :nopity:

:grouphug: I quietly left my homeschool "support" group because of an issue like this one. A couple of years back, I was politely told to keep my mouth shut and vote the way the group's leaders wanted me to. I couldn't stand the stress of pretending to be someone I'm not. It's difficult to stand alone sometimes, but in my case (and it sounds like yours, too), it's for the best!

[livingnlearning]

You express your opinion with your vote.

 

If you really feel the need to facebook your opinion you have to be fully willing to ride out the backlash. Should they respectfully listen to your opinion and consider your thoughts? Sure, that would be ideal. Could you end up alienated? Yep.

 

I would really think about why you feel the urge to speak about it and how strongly you feel that way. If you really are just frustrated and have to vent it a bit, maybe here or through like minds is the best way. If you hope to influence others and it's a "hill to die on" for you then you should speak.

 

People can vote issues and not talk about it. Discussion isn't always necessary. Sometimes you ARE against the tide. Doesn't mean you have to talk about it nor does it mean that you have to be quiet. People are still going to be people, though, and I would just be clear about what outcome you could get and if you're ready for it.

[Mrs Mungo]

I don't generally discuss politics on facebook. I will sometimes disagree with someone when their facts are wrong or when they have said something that really bothers me. But, I generally do not talk about it.

 

I have unfriended several people because they expressed their opinions in such a vitriolic manner that I don't want to read it.

 

It is awkward when you and others you know show up to the state capitol to support opposite sides of an issue though.

[justamouse]

To me, this is sort of what's wrong with how politics is dealt with socially overall. Many if not most people don't have friends who disagree with them in a friendly way about politics. To step out of line from your community, family or church is seen as deeply negative. :( I think people would be more even tempered, more able to compromise and think for themselves if they did have friends on both sides of the aisle so to speak.

 

No idea what the issue is or whether or not I would agree with you or "them" but I applaud you for thinking for yourself and I hope it turns out you have friends and a community who will as well. Is there a way to say "I have a different opinion on this" and then move on to the things you do agree about or the things you have in common? Or do you feel completely out of step with everyone overall and feel like you need a new community of friends?

 

:iagree:

[Anita in NC]

Maybe it's time to try and find a new circle of friends that you have more in common with. That doesn't mean that you can't keep your old friends but maybe some new blood in your social circles would be a good thing.

 

There seems to be plenty of meetup groups for various views, things you have in common.

 

I've tried a couple of meetup groups, I'm still trying to find one that is a good fit.

 

Good luck.

[kalanamak]

A couple of years back, I was politely told to keep my mouth shut and vote the way the group's leaders wanted me to.

 

On the rare moments I am subjected to such a jackass suggestion, I tend to burst into incapacitating laughter, and finally just have to leave, flushed and gasping. It is a sincere response, but quite effective in stating my true feeling, indeed.

[mommyrooch]

I absolutely know how you feel. I also feel as if I am a square peg trying to fit into a round hole. I disagree with most everyone I know on political and social issues. I feel as if I'm alone in these things. I do usually stand up for what I believe in but it does put a target on me and makes me anything but popular. It is a lonely place to be indeed. :grouphug:

[T'smom]

I generally stay out of political discussions on fb (though of my friends there is very little of it anyway- sometimes people post some stupid little comment, but it's never much) BUT I know EXACTLY where you are coming from. I'm another one whose views differ from most people around me. Or at least I assume. But it could be that there are others who agree with me but also are not vocal about it. When it does come up in person I will state my views, politely and firmly. If they push, I have been known to get less polite. But it doesn't come up very often. I would be completely stunned if someone in a homeschool group or church (or anywhere) told me I was expected to vote a certain way. Stunned. I am VERY involved in church and have never been told how to vote and only once did a church that I was in make a statement about being on one side. (And it was a local issue involving making certain streets one-way and it was going to cause parking issues for the church). I have been handed flyers that outline the platforms of each candidate and told to prayerfully consider who I was voting for, but that's it. It might SEEM like 'all the churches around you' are taking a stance, but they're probably not.

Once, I went to a morning bible study at church and someone had put several political posters in the lawn. When I got out of bible study, there were several more added from the opposing candidate. Several hours later, driving by the church, all the signs were taken down. No one had permission to actually put those signs out- the church did not actually endorse it, someone just stuck them there.

Sometimes I feel very lonely just because I seem to see the world completely differently.

[elizabeth]

No reason not to be yourself, you were given a conscience for a reason. Feel free to use it. I have done so and not regretted it once. I regret being silent for so many years.

[Laurie4b]

The structure of FB is such that things become polarized almost immediately, so it's not really a place to "discuss" important issues in any meaningful way. I have found (from watching dh) that one of the most effective ways to introduce new ideas is 1) not to state the contrary view and 2) not do it in a group if it can be avoided, but to ask questions one-on-one. The questions should require thought. Ask from a neutral point of view as much as possible, being open to hearing things you might not have expected, but also knowing that as soon as someone has to start to think about something, they may become more open to other ideas. If they are good questions, even if the person's belief seems not to be affected in the least in the immediate time frame, often the questions do in fact "live on" and people begin to grapple with the question internally. Over time, this can change minds.

 

I don't fit anywhere politically. Some of my beliefs would be labeled liberal, some conservative, some libertarian. I have no idea what the "average" is. I have friends on both sides of the political spectrum who just can't seem to imagine that there is another way to think. I occasionally engage them when it gets over the top, but always regret it. There are two proverbs in the Bible that seem contradictory: Prov 26: 4 Do not answer a fool according to his folly, or you will be like him yourself. 5 Answer a fool according to his folly, or he will be wise in his own eyes." I puzzled over this for years. Dh exegeted like this: D*#ned if you do, d*#ned if you don't. :P --which seems to hit the nail on the head. You can't win with some people. However, the questioning technique seems to work really well. You are not letting it go unchallenged, but you aren't setting yourself up for fruitless polemics that will achieve nothing either.

Edited October 25, 2011 by Laurie4b