Keeping it loving, positive, fun, AND still getting the work done: your best tips?

[yellowperch]

I am purposefully leaving this a little vague and open-ended. I just want to brainstorm ideas for creating a lively, happy, productive and rigorous homeschool environment. What are your best ideas and practices for this? What have you thought of but haven't tried yet? What do you do (short-term, long-term, spur of the moment?) when you feel spirits are sinking and the learning is suffering? I know every day can't be a field trip to the candy factory, but we've had one or two too many dispiriting moments of late....

Edited October 16, 2011 by yellowperch

[redsquirrel]

well I know my answer is also vague, so forgive me for that. I know the flow you are talking about. I have to say that I think it starts with me. I just do. Now, I have kids who are by nature upbeat (sometimes bizarrely so) and cooperative. Yes, they have their moments of sulking and whinging, but don't we all?

 

I hate to admit it, but when I meet their expectations they almost always meet mine. But it starts with me. If I am positive, praising hard work and showing them that I am glad they are here with me today, they will more than meet me half way. When I feel confident in my day, in my stewardship, then they reflect that back to me. When I put the effort in to plan and make a map for the day they are willing to follow me. When I get lost so do they.

 

I am sure others will have much more practical suggestions.

[PeterPan]

I'm with redsquirrel, that a good chunk of it is taking care of *me*.

 

Ok, I'll ask a question. You have a 5 yo and 2 you at home while you're trying to teach the 7 and 9 yo's? That MIGHT be why you're feeling swamped already, lol. It's not even winter yet. Go take some walks in the park. Pressure yourself less and take more breaks. Differentiate in your plans for the day with one category of ESSENTIALS and one category of NEGOTIABLES. If your essentials take 1 - 1 1/2 hours a day and you get those done, the day was SUCCESSFUL even if the rest doesn't get done. And if you get the essentials done and go take a walk to collect leaves and make collages or look for migratory birds, all the better!

 

Be gentle to yourselves now. Winter is coming when it gets really hard.

[veggiegal]

I'm with redsquirrel, that a good chunk of it is taking care of *me*.

 

Ok, I'll ask a question. You have a 5 yo and 2 you at home while you're trying to teach the 7 and 9 yo's? That MIGHT be why you're feeling swamped already, lol. It's not even winter yet. Go take some walks in the park. Pressure yourself less and take more breaks. Differentiate in your plans for the day with one category of ESSENTIALS and one category of NEGOTIABLES. If your essentials take 1 - 1 1/2 hours a day and you get those done, the day was SUCCESSFUL even if the rest doesn't get done. And if you get the essentials done and go take a walk to collect leaves and make collages or look for migratory birds, all the better!

 

Be gentle to yourselves now. Winter is coming when it gets really hard.

 

:iagree:

 

We do our must-dos in the morning: math, LA, logic. We do 'gym' (something physical, we mix it up) as a break between math and LA. Afternoons we do "everything else", and if we don't get to it...oh well. The most important stuff is done. Fridays are for 'fun projects' and totally different than Mon-Thurs.

 

Some other things we do that help: keep lessons short and focused; read aloud every day at different points (for math, or LA, or science, or history, or just cuz we all need a snuggle on the couch); play games (even a short simple game keeps things fun); watch videos when feeling low energy. So yes, some days LA was reading a couple chapters of our latest read aloud; math was playing cribbage with my 9 year old, or the boys playing with some math apps on the ipad, and science was a Bill Nye video. Great! Not every day should be like this, of course, but once in a while it is perfectly fine.

 

We also school year round, so are never going more than 5-6 weeks without a week off (and sometimes 2 weeks off). During our weeks off I try to spend at least one day doing a "field trip" kind of outing. We visit other HSers regularly for playdates, and 'chat and tea' for us Moms. All part of staying sane. Oh, and we listen to audio books in the car, or educational songs.

 

The other thing that works for us is we never use the same materials 2 days in a row. We do AAS Mon and Wed; MUS Tues and Thurs, and so on. (And some things only once per week). My kids get bored--and I think I get bored--working from the same materials every day. YMMV.

 

I also find if the house gets too messy / cluttered I have a hard time staying "light and fun". So chores are built into our school day, and we do a big clean as a family on the weekend.

 

I guess the other thing I do is be very tolerant of my children's suggestions and silliness. I try to work their jokes and wiggliness into our lessons--learning the human body, why not play Simon Says with things like "Simon says point to your spleen!...Point to a part of your respiratory system," etc. I try to ask things in a riddle puzzle format sometimes to liven things up. So in AAS, instead of asking them to spell, then divide a word into syllables and label the syllable types, I'll twist it around. Say the word is napkin. I'll say something like, "I am like a compound word, but the words I'm made up of have no connection to my final meaning. My first word means a short sleep, often taken by small children in the afternoon" (wait for kids to get 'nap'; add more clues if necessary). "My second word means 'family', and rhymes twin." (wait for kids to answer). The kids then spell and syllable-ize, and we laugh at how "short sleep family" is something we use to wipe our face at dinner. :D I also encourage the boys to offer things--they like to make up "silly sentences" for our spelling words in AAS. They also make up math problems for one another.

[justLisa]

Me three. My attitude is tops, or it stinks and they follow suit. I would like to be perfect, and I keep my wits about me but sometimes I let some tension show through and really I'm just honest with them. They are very attached to mama kind of kids and sometimes I let MY hair down and say mama's havin a day guys.

 

But as far as just a general unexciting moment or weeks when it seems like no one is too enthused I usually try to get us out of the house. We have packed up books and drove to the downtown library and ice cream after plenty of times.

 

I don't have specific things that work all the time, but I just try to find opportunities. For example: My mom is sitting for her CPA and needed a few more university classes. The kids hang out there every Wednesday after she gets off early, and knowing that SHE has studying to do, so I purposely let them "slide" a little during the day and/or before on a thing or two and then send a special grandma and kids snack and books in their bags. I will do something like an extra math practice s heet, spelling/vocab lists, a few pages to read or our copywork/cursive practice. They think it's FUN to study with grandma and are proud to show her THEIR school since she studies too. RIght now she is taking an astronomy class and I've worked up some grade appropriate material and she is trying her best to kind of give them a little science class out of it. They are studying clouds, document weather at different times etc. It is out of their norm and once or twice a week so it's fun, plus mom is cool for giving a "shortened" day LOL.

 

My husband is really great about making math come alive. He started working with each kid for about 30min-an hr or until they have tired once or twice a week in his work office and they think it's too cool. He sets up a chair and the white board and acts like a silly teacher. He works remotely from upstairs but still it's cool for them.

 

We did an ongoing game in math with money counting. This was during a month we planned to buy an extra special toy and planned to spend a good amount (like around $100 each....not the norm here but we hadn't bought them anything in a while) but did not tell them that exactly. We spent a few days really getting good with counting money then started a game. Every day we several piles of coins, some with bills. They counted and got to "keep" every one they got right. We made some easy, some more difficult and the point was to always get some, so if needed we would fudge a little. We wrote down the amounts and at the end of the week we told them we would double whatever they "win."

 

I'd love to hear about other schooler's fun ways to change it up :)

[desiree77]

• I use Fridays to do our regular work in a more interesting way. Like for writing, we do a family journal. We do art on this day. We might do some math games instead of worksheets.
   
  
• I take the weekend off. I try not to schedule anything on weekends. If we need to just hang out and play, we do that. We try to get our weekend chores done Sat morning and then we are free until Monday.
   
  
• When school is over for the day, it's free time for the kids. We do chores in the morning before school It helps them get their work done if they know that their play time is coming.
   
  
• I don't stress about formal sit-down meals. We do that sometimes, but if everyone just grabs something, that's okay too. We're together all day, every day. We don't need the formal family dinner to reconnect.
  

[Jay3fer]

I'll second (third, fourth?) everybody else: My attitude is IT.

If I'm well-rested and upbeat (ignore the timestamp on this post!), the kids enjoy being with me and everything just seems to flow.

 

Also:

I try never to fall into the trap of saying

- "hurry up and you'll be done" OR

- "one more ___ and you'll be finished."

 

Because that helps us BOTH remember that the goal is NOT "finishing," the goal is learning and enjoying being together. I will tell her she has more fun with her work when she's not dawdling, or that she learns more, but NOT that if she hurries up she'll be finished sooner.

 

Hope that makes some sense....

[Lily_Grace]

What do you do (short-term, long-term, spur of the moment?) when you feel spirits are sinking and the learning is suffering? I know every day can't be a field trip to the candy factory, but we've had one or two too many dispiriting moments of late....

 

 

It's not the field trips and it's not the projects. It's attitude and connection. The best teachers are the ones who are passionate about what they are teaching and have the excitement of learning. The best lessons are the ones that involve the student knee-deep and keep them in the moment. On our not so good days I step back and try to recenter myself, try to find what it is I love about sonic booms or light waves or solving for x so I can get that across to my son.

[cholderby]

Thanks for posting this thread!

 

I will def. be using some of these great suggestions.

[robsiew]

Here's basically how we function...

 

School is not optional on school days. It just "is". If you're working with me you need to have a pleasant attitude or you are sent to another room to gather one. If you can't do that you sit on your bed and lose video game/TV time (which is a hot commodity in our house). Chores are handled same way.

 

We go very light on Fridays, sometimes not schooling at all. We work hard the other 4 days.

 

We try to take a week off every 6 weeks to refresh us. Sometimes this is rearranged due to holidays/birthdays/friends visiting/etc. But, for the most part we take breaks regularly.

 

I've found for my crew the more we stay in routine and expectations stay the same, the easier things go. The kids know what is expected and they know what happens if they don't comply. Easier on Mom, easier on kids.

 

That being said, if I am really struggling on a particular day/week we take a day off. It puts less pressure on me, I get a much needed breather and the kids LOVE an unexpected day off! I don't do this too often, but it really helps on the weeks I'm about to lose it!

 

That's just us though! ;)

[Dmmetler]

Include specials and adapt. One thing I didn't do last year much at all was the silly, seasonal projects and themes that my DD's K class had done. I couldn't see much reason for doing worksheets with spiders on them in October, especially for subjects where normally we don't use many worksheets. But I discovered that DD really likes, and misses, that kind of school-y stuff, so now this month we're doing Frightening Fridays, where we'll do all those silly, seasonal activities and projects, everything from drawing spider webs and measuring their angles to seasonal words and writing stories about Halloween in Spanish, to reading some of the "Horrible Histories" type books for history, to a mini-unit on the skeleton and building the animal skeleton models I bought when Borders went out of business.

 

It really seems to make the rest of the week go more smoothly, and what I'm noticing is that we're getting a lot done on Friday (even if it's out of our core curriculum sequence)-maybe because we both benefit from the change of pace.

[bluechicken]

:iagree:

 

We do our must-dos in the morning: math, LA, logic. We do 'gym' (something physical, we mix it up) as a break between math and LA. Afternoons we do "everything else", and if we don't get to it...oh well. The most important stuff is done. Fridays are for 'fun projects' and totally different than Mon-Thurs.

 

Some other things we do that help: keep lessons short and focused; read aloud every day at different points (for math, or LA, or science, or history, or just cuz we all need a snuggle on the couch); play games (even a short simple game keeps things fun); watch videos when feeling low energy. So yes, some days LA was reading a couple chapters of our latest read aloud; math was playing cribbage with my 9 year old, or the boys playing with some math apps on the ipad, and science was a Bill Nye video. Great! Not every day should be like this, of course, but once in a while it is perfectly fine.

 

We also school year round, so are never going more than 5-6 weeks without a week off (and sometimes 2 weeks off). During our weeks off I try to spend at least one day doing a "field trip" kind of outing. We visit other HSers regularly for playdates, and 'chat and tea' for us Moms. All part of staying sane. Oh, and we listen to audio books in the car, or educational songs.

 

The other thing that works for us is we never use the same materials 2 days in a row. We do AAS Mon and Wed; MUS Tues and Thurs, and so on. (And some things only once per week). My kids get bored--and I think I get bored--working from the same materials every day. YMMV.

 

I also find if the house gets too messy / cluttered I have a hard time staying "light and fun". So chores are built into our school day, and we do a big clean as a family on the weekend.

 

I guess the other thing I do is be very tolerant of my children's suggestions and silliness. I try to work their jokes and wiggliness into our lessons--learning the human body, why not play Simon Says with things like "Simon says point to your spleen!...Point to a part of your respiratory system," etc. I try to ask things in a riddle puzzle format sometimes to liven things up. So in AAS, instead of asking them to spell, then divide a word into syllables and label the syllable types, I'll twist it around. Say the word is napkin. I'll say something like, "I am like a compound word, but the words I'm made up of have no connection to my final meaning. My first word means a short sleep, often taken by small children in the afternoon" (wait for kids to get 'nap'; add more clues if necessary). "My second word means 'family', and rhymes twin." (wait for kids to answer). The kids then spell and syllable-ize, and we laugh at how "short sleep family" is something we use to wipe our face at dinner. :D I also encourage the boys to offer things--they like to make up "silly sentences" for our spelling words in AAS. They also make up math problems for one another.

 

I love this. Thank you. My DD is only 5 1/2 and sometimes wants to be silly while doing her work. Most times I allow her to be silly for a few minutes and other times, I just want her to get it done so we can move on with life. It is a great reminder to just allow them to be themselves, silly or not, and that the work will still get done.

[Walking-Iris]

I try to make our mornings short and sweet. I have a 3rd grader and a 4 year old and a 15 month old to handle. So i can't have wasted time in the morning or the day gets lost. Math, language arts (grammar, spelling etc) get done in the morning. There's a nap for baby, which I try to get the other's to read or at least let them free to do whatever quietly for that hour 1/2. Then afternoons we do read alouds and our science unit or SOTW or Writing Strands---depending on the day.

 

I also alternate weeks. A week of technical language arts skills followed by a week of literature studies (exceptions are spelling--we use Sequential Spelling--so that's daily). I also try to leave time for my kid to do what he likes---he asked for more Grammar last week---so some other things got pushed aside and we worked ahead.

 

I do something with my 4 year old everyday---but twice a week for about 2-3 hours---I concentrate on him. He has been doing science and SOTW with us though. He's happy to participate in the activities and coloring pages. ;)

 

But what people have said about working on yourself first is very true. If I don't take the time to eat, shower, get dressed---feel like a real person instead of a maid, school teacher, waiter in pjs (kwim?) then I'm very grumpy.

 

As far as dealing with attitude from the kids---whew!--that's a hard one. I want my kids to love learning---so if it feels flagging I will take away the things that hinder it---media is usually the culprit. And sometimes some good old fashioned "it's good for you to know how to multiply, you will be happy later that I made you do this, trust me!" :lol:

[sagira]

Thanks for the advice! I've been telling ds the sooner he gets done he gets to play (all he wants to do is play, absolutely no effort required). However, I'm finding my attitude and need for control have contributed to this.. Enjoying and learning together. I really want to do this every day!

 

Reconnecting and enjoying time together, letting go on preconceived notions and "shoulds". No shaming, guilt, pressure or bossing around but joy, peace, and inquisitiveness. Timely thread for me, thanks.

 

On the days I'm inwardly peaceful, school is wonderful!

 

I'll second (third, fourth?) everybody else: My attitude is IT.

If I'm well-rested and upbeat (ignore the timestamp on this post!), the kids enjoy being with me and everything just seems to flow.

 

Also:

I try never to fall into the trap of saying

- "hurry up and you'll be done" OR

- "one more ___ and you'll be finished."

 

Because that helps us BOTH remember that the goal is NOT "finishing," the goal is learning and enjoying being together. I will tell her she has more fun with her work when she's not dawdling, or that she learns more, but NOT that if she hurries up she'll be finished sooner.

 

Hope that makes some sense....

Edited October 16, 2011 by sagira

[Kidlit]

I have nothing to add except that sometimes we just have to bake cookies. :tongue_smilie: I'm pretty hard-core when it comes to getting through our list/lesson plans, so when I allow myself to relax and do something fun with my girls, it ALWAYS makes the day better. Oh, and doing art helps, too. (Something about painting really calms me down.)

 

I mainly just wanted to say that I'm subscribing to this thread so I can go back and re-read it when I have one of those days. :willy_nilly:

[Carrie-txmama2six]

I've found for my crew the more we stay in routine and expectations stay the same, the easier things go. The kids know what is expected and they know what happens if they don't comply. Easier on Mom, easier on kids.

 

 

That's just us though! ;)

 

 

I agree!!!

[FriedClams]

Again... my attitude is key.

 

I work out every morning - it helps a ton.

 

Starting on time is HUGE for me. I HATE, HATE, HATE feeling behind. It's so weird -- if we start on time we end early, if we start late everything takes FOREVER!

 

Making homeschooling a job is big for me too. It's a priority - more than friends, the internet, phone calls, errands, etc. It has to be done. My kids deserve it and my husband has trusted me to do it. So, for me, nothing happens until school is done. It helps when everyone knows what the priority is.

 

When my kids know what's expected - they work harder and have better attitudes. Nobody likes, "Oh, you're done with that... well here's more!" Worklists and assignment sheets help to keep the surprise factor as low as possible.

 

White boards for math, candy corn for memorization, runs with the dog, math on windows in dry erase, math in bed, late nights of books on tape, smelly pencils, silly muffin tin lunches, and anything else I can think of to make the process more fun always help. I don't do them all - but I try to do something to make each day a little fun. Some days it's a REALLY little thing - other days it's more. But - having fun and embracing the journey are why homeschooling is a blast!

[Rosie]

The absolute biggest thing I've found that influences my children's desire to learn is my own passion for learning. It truly inspires them. Reading on homeschool forums and books keeps me discovering new ideas, methods, curricula, philosophies, etc. This brings about change which brings energy and excitement into our household.

 

Some examples: I read The Writer's Jungle about once per year. This gets me all excited about writing and my girls follow suit. They write because they are excited about writing because they see that I'm excited about writing.

 

Last year I started writing poetry every once in a while and sharing it with them during our Tea and Poetry time once per week. I would ask if anyone had anything they wanted to share. PRetty soon they were bringing poems to the table each week that they had written.

 

I sometimes sit with them and do their art project, too. Or I'll make up some abstract something or other. They always try to imitate me - not necessarily exactly what I've done but the style of art.

 

Recently I've been researching math stuff. AoPS. Beast Academy. I've been working on the Singapore CWP book a couple year ahead of where my oldest is so I can feel comfortable when she gets there. And, guess what my kids have been doing in their spare time? Yep, Math! They've been flying through their workbooks, asking to do math at night instead of read before bed. My oldest has done about 3-4 weeks worth of word problems on her own because she sees me doing it.

 

Inspiration really works here.

 

 

 

Another important thing in keeping up good attitudes about school is that I let them feel like they have a lot of say in what school work gets done. I keep as little as possible "required" because the passion is often lost when you're MADE to do something. So, for instance, My kids know that I want them to do some math each school day but I let them choose the amount. After they've worked for a while I ask, "Do you want to stop here or keep going?" and whatever they say is what we do. They often want to do another page or two, and I really think it's because they know it's truly UP TO THEM. They feel some control over what's happening instead of having me always telling them what they have to do.

 

I also try to adjust my plans to include what they want if I can see the educational benefit in it. For example, my oldest for some reason has been wanting to copy the whole Bible. So, I've started putting it in her schedule as part of LA a couple times each week. I dictate to her and she writes. We do grammar, usage, mechanics, spelling, handwriting, this way. It wasn't originally on my plan and I do have curriculum that I can use, but this is "her thing" right now and so I'm following it until she loses interest.

 

 

 

Some other things that I think help...

 

Know you're child. My 6 year old needs me to touch her while she works to keep her focused. Her love language is physical touch, so I scratch her back, braid her hair, etc. while she sits at the table and works. My oldest needs quality time so it's important that she and I have "talking time" each day - even if that is during read aloud time or sitting on the couch with our PLL book to talk about word usage, etc. My youngest needs some time with me in the morning so she doesn't feel like she has to fight for my attention all day long.

 

Be willing to change plans. Example: I had planned for us to get a good portion of school work done each Tuesday when we take my 3yo to gymnastics class. Um, no. That didn't work too well because my older two kept wanting to watch and not wanting to do their school work. Instead of pushing and pushing to do it my way, I changed my expectations. Now I spend a little time with each of them off to the side during gymnastics working on math or LA or something and then switch to working with the other. This gives them time to watch their sister, gives me what I want (a little bit of school done) and they know that I take their wishes into account and try to make accommodations for them when it's reasonable. I don't have a problem being firm with boundaries when I need to, but I try as often as possible to compromise.

 

 

 

No media unless it's my idea. If you ask M-F, then the answer is immediately no. (I sometimes make exceptions if they're asking to do math games on the computer!)

 

 

 

Keep lessons short and give breaks when they seem to need them. This is different for each child. I just watch for attitudes and hyperactivity, etc.

 

 

 

Field trips to break up the monotony.

 

 

 

Routine! Weekly schedule so they know what's coming and can mark off what they've done. I try to include at least one "fun" thing on their list, but I don't actually call it that to them.

 

 

 

Make school part of life. Spelling and math at the table. I always ASK, "Who wants me to give them math problems or spelling words?!" so, again, it is THEIR idea, not mine. They feel a sense of control.

 

We do silent reading time before bed so I don't feel like we need to do it during the "school day". I also sometimes let them do other types of school work before bed because it seems like a treat to them to get to do something different.

 

They listen to SOTW CDs while coloring or playing quietly in the basement. They watch Liberty's Kids or How It's Made or other educational movies sometimes.

 

 

 

Last thing - When we are going somewhere fun in the middle of the day (out to eat, gymnastics, Mommy and Me group, etc.) we often talk about how, if they were in school, they'd have to sit at a desk most of the day with just a few breaks and how we wouldn't get to be with each other very much. My oldest went to full day Kindergarten 2 years ago so they have experience with knowing this is true. It also helps that the older two go to the elementary school across the street twice a week for gym and music so they get that social interaction that is usually the "draw" for public school.

 

 

 

This was really interesting to think about and put into words. Thank you for asking!!!

[Embassy]

I agree with the others about attitude. My attitude is important. Excitement about the material to be learned can be contagious. Honestly, I can't teach anything that bores me. I need to be able to connect with the material in a way that I find interesting. It is then easier to pass on the interest to my children.

 

We are still tinkering with the flow of our school days this year. We are just finishing up our third week. For us it works best to have every day different. I started a puzzle game the other day. Each time a child completes a subject/assignment he gets to pick a new puzzle piece out of a big sock. Each puzzle piece has a predesignated subject. When the puzzle is complete they have finished the assignments for the week. So far so good, but we are still in the tinkering phase.

[HappyCamper]

Thread came just as I needed it!:)

[JennW in SoCal]

Lots of great replies here. The only thing I can add is some perspective as I'm pretty much done with my homeschool years -- one is in college, the other finishing up at community college before he leaves next fall. I've been doing lots of reminiscing in the last year.

 

The things I did to keep it a happy and loving environment during our homeschool years are the things that have left the fondest memories. Spending hours reading aloud, sometimes entire afternoons were spent with a stack of books or one very fat book. Letting my kids run free with their creative ideas -- they made their own Pokemon cards, they made movies, they drew their own comic books. Sometimes these projects took up an entire day, but the lack of a math lesson on a particular day hasn't ruined them. Sometimes, even in the high school years, I would just announce a random day off. It wasn't planned, but we were spur of the moment ideas because we were all in a funk. We'd go to lunch, go to the zoo, go to the movies.

 

Slow and steady wins the race, right? Enjoy the journey, keep plugging away at those skill subjects, share your love of learning. And take care of yourself! Find your coping mechanism and make it sacrosanct!!

[charlestonmom03]

I made some changes this year in an effort to have a more positive attitude and create a more cheerful home. For starters, our school day starts on time (8:30) and we work until 10:15. We have a snack and playtime from 10:15-10:45, which is a nice little break for me to recollect myself. Then we work from 10:45 until noon, at which point I make lunch. If we have any work left, we finish that at 1pm when the toddler goes down for his nap. (Most days we don't, we seem to be much more productive when we start early!)

 

Another change I made this year is that we do 5 weeks of school followed by one week off. This is our second Break Week (we started school on 8/1) and it is so relaxing! The boys love looking forward to the Break Week, and I use the week to get things done that I can't do when we are schooling. This week I am painting my dresser, which I've been wanting to do for years. It feels good to get projects done without feeling guilty that we should be doing school work. I also try to get the house really clean during the break week so that we are just maintaining during the next 5 weeks. I am also hoping to get some meals in the freezer, but I might be trying to do too much in one week - we'll see! :001_smile: