struggling with homeschooling

[hobbystamper]

Hi

 

I am new to homeschooling. I just started in Aug. I was a full time working mom before this. We basically started homeschooling because we felt called to do this.

 

I need some advice really badly. I am still struggling with my role change from a fulltime working mom to a full time homeschooling mom. I feel like I am not a good teacher to my kids. I am not patient. I tried very hard but when they are not focusing on their work and they simply said "i don't know" without trying, I just get so frustrated. For eg. my son would look at a word (we are learning to read here), and said I don't know. But he knows each sound from that word, and when I prompt him letter by letter, he could do it. So it is not that they don't know, but they are just not putting in the effort.

 

Anyway, i need advice on two things:

 

1) How do you keep your patience with your child during school? Any strategies or tips?

2) Any tips on helping them to focus in their schoolwork? Or is this something they will outgrow in time to come?

 

Thanks.

[creekmom]

You know, usually when I tell someone I homeschool, the first response is always, "Oh, I don't have the patience for that!!!" I reply that I didn't have the patience when I started either... but, hsing provides plenty of opportunities to learn it! ;)

 

If you all are just starting out, give yourself (and them) some time to adjust. It will take some time. Be OK with that.

One thing that I think about that always makes me slow down and evaluate the situation is, "How do I want them to remember me?" I heard SWB say one time that she doesn't remember her mom smiling very much when she hsed them- she was always so stressed out. I try to smile - and laugh with them -it makes a big difference in how our day goes.

 

If you believe they just aren't putting forth the effort, it's time to think about how to motivate them. What do they look forward to the most? Computer time? Playing with friends? Reading? Try telling them that they need to "earn" this special thing each day by doing their best with a good attitude during school. The habits your kids are forming now will be hard to break in a few months; make sure they are learning good ones. - Try role playing a little- let them be the teacher and you be the student. When they try to teach you something simple, don't even try to understand. Do sloppy work, etc. Then, ask them, "Do you think I'm going to learn what you're teaching me with the bad attitude I've had and the little bit of effort I've put forth?" Then, role play the student you want them to be... show how you expect them to behave when they are frustrated, tired, hungry, etc. Sometimes they just need to see the behavior you desire.

 

One more thing that will help with motivation- Rewards!!! I have a treasure chest full of dollar store toys and gum, etc. I also have jars of small suckers and miniature candy bars and M&Ms. If you don't do much sugar during the day, those little bites of candy will make all the difference in how hard they try to make a 100% on a test! I also give them each a "punch" card that I bought at Rainbow Resource this summer (http://rainbowresource.com/product/sku/015995/535f3087d904d00491f08e48

Every time they know their memory work for the week, or do well on a test, they get a punch. When all the stars have been punched, they are rewarded. I usually tell them, if you've been wanting something, the time to ask is when your punch card is full. My oldest wanted to skip a school subject for the day when his card was full. My other son wanted a $3.00 ipod app. You could even make your own punch cards using index cards and give them a punch at the end of each school day if they had a good attitude and worked hard. I hope I haven't rambled too much and that this is helpful!

[Lots of boys]

Hi My kids are the same age as yours :) . I just wanted to offer some encouragement. I too used to work full time and left to Homeschool. It has had it's ups and downs and I also flet really impatient with them - especially at first. I find the more I am around them full time, the more patient I become - I guess they are teaching me something too :)

 

As for them staying focussed - I can't help much. My 5 year old said that very same thing to me last week over and over again ("I can't read that") before he even tried. I keep reminding myself that reading is still very hard for him and so it is sometimes easier to say "i don't know" than to try.

 

Just remind yourself that this is not a race - they will learn and make progress - some days slowly and others much faster. Hang in there.

[staceyobu]

I think time will help you as well. I already feel like I am a much better teacher this year than last year. I've had some time to experiment with my six year old, to gain some confidence, figure out what we like/don't like, and just get into a general groove.

 

They say the first three months of ANY job are the hardest.

 

Sorry, this isn't really good advice. I just wanted to give you a general hang in there!

[abbeyej]

Give yourself TIME. And extend some patience to *yourself* as you make this radical life change, just as you attempt to give patience to your kids. Learning to home school is a process. Some of us have been lucky enough to know this was what we would be doing since well before our kids were school-aged, and that helps.

 

*Expect* to spend a lot of time saying, "You don't know? Okay, well, what about this first part? Mm-hmm. And the next? Yep. So then what? Wow! I thought you said you didn't know, Silly-head! Look at you! You did do it! Right on! Okay, so how about this next one? Oh, you don't know that either? Huh. Well, let's see... Can you do the first part?" Over and over and over. ;)

 

Your kids are little. It may not seem like it now. (Except, you know, for the 2yo, and then you may occasionally think that the only solution is duct tape...) But they are little. Focus on establishing family traditions and routines that you want to continue. Think about creating a calm and orderly but joyful day. Try starting your day just after breakfast with some sort of "circle time". (Or "memory" or whatever you want to call it.) Do your devotions or just jump in with some songs (hymns or folk songs). Keep the pattern the same but vary the content a little bit. Fit in a bit of memory work there. Just all of you sitting together to recite some silly poems, sing... If you need to, throw in a couple of jumping jacks or stretches or a "Head and shoulders, knees and toes" type song to help get the wiggles out before school.

 

Be *engaged* during your school time with the littles. *Don't* try to multi-task. It will pull your focus and make you more likely to snap at them when *they're* not focused. I know many of us (myself included) try to sneak in a load of laundry or checking Facebook or whatever while/between lessons, but when patience is an issue, I find that multi-tasking is the quickest way to wear away what little patience is there.

 

Plan some quiet time for after nap time*. The baby probably needs a nap and the older two can look at books in bed, draw, or listen to audio books for an hour while you get a little quiet time. If this isn't standard in your house already, it may take a few days to get it established, but it will make your life easier in the long-run.

 

Establish "tea time" in the afternoon. Instead of scrambling for a snack when the kids start whining that they're hungry and dinner is still two hours off, have a snack planned for them. Make it very slightly formal. Cups of hot tea and a snack (carrot sticks, pita triangles and hummus, apples and peanut butter -- something easy and healthy). Play some classical music or read aloud to them. Or, in desperate circumstance, let them watch a half hour of tv. But make it a regular part of their day so you and they know what is coming and when.

 

Building routine and *predictability* into the day can help with patience all around...

 

The academics are important, sure! But right now, think about creating a harmonious family dynamic as your number one goal. It will make the academics over the coming years *so* much easier. For all of you.

 

ETA: * "quiet time for after nap time" was supposed to say "quiet time for after lunch time", lol...

Edited October 9, 2011 by abbeyej

[Five More Minutes]

I'd agree with the previous posters -- that's all good advice.

 

Going from full-time work outside of the home to full-time homeschooling is a huge adjustment and it's just going to take time. Part of the struggle for me was adjusting to how my new role as a SAHM / homeschooler was perceived by others. It just felt more socially acceptable to identify myself as "a director at xxxx" than as "a stay-at-home mom" or a "homeschooling mom." That was a lot to process for me (still is sometimes), and I found when I was at home full-time I didn't really have the time to do that sort of processing! (After all, I didn't have the commute to work where I could think things through! :)) I was snappish and impatient with my kids a whole lot more as I tried to sort through my own ideas and feelings about the shift.

 

Some of the things that helped were exactly what you're doing: reading WTM (which gave me a lot more confidence and language that I could use to describe what I was doing), linking up with people in these forums who value what I'm doing as a homeschooler (what a relief), and recognizing that I'm dealing with children and not adults. (Seriously. I needed to adjust my expectations from the work world, where adults responded very, very differently to projects and ideas than my children have!)

 

I've had to say "I'm sorry" a lot to my children, but it has become much better and I wouldn't trade these days together for anything. (Even the really bad days.)

 

I guess that's a roundabout way of saying hang in there and that you ARE a good teacher for your children. It gets better.

[acurtis75]

There has been a lot of good advice so far! I also came out of the corporate world to stay home. I would add that it's okay to give yourself permission to take a break when you are feeling impatient. Sometimes I find myself getting frustrated & realize we both need a time-out of sorts. I might send her to play and read or just gather my thoughts & pray.

 

Take a day or afternoon to do something fun just because you can. When I feel us getting frustrated with each other I like to get out and go to the park or museum or something like that. While we are there we discuss what a blessing it is to be able to go to the park at noon if we want to while everyone else is in school. I remind my daughter frequently that she is fortunate and that she needs to work hard for the few hours of lesson time and then enjoy her extra free time.

 

I think the biggest realization for me when I started was that just as much of my time would need to be spent on character training as actual lesson work. I envisioned a lovely little student who was eager to learn but in the real world she's lazy, easily distracted and not all that eager.....especially during math!

 

 

I also think it's important to read, listen to tapes or something regularly for encouragement. I like Marilyn Rockett's materials and also read a daily devotional for wives & moms. If I don't do that regularly I find myself getting more frustrated more often. Being a homeschooling mom is a tough job but it's very rewarding once you adjust to it.

[lewelma]

It is easy to think that your main goal is to teach them the 3Rs, but that is only half of it. The other half is to teach them to have a good work ethic, focus, motivation, organization skills, time management, etc. When I finally realized this, I became way more patient. I was annoyed because they weren't getting their work done. Now, the same behavior forces me to think of ways to teach them to be more focused or motivated or whatever. It is not a problem to be frustrated about, it is part of the curriculum that you must teach. And learning any skill takes time and incremental steps. Changing my outlook changed everything for us.

 

Ruth in NZ

[Rosie]

I haven't read all the replies so this may be a repeat, but...

 

1. Give yourself some grace. This is a huge adjustment for you and them. It's not going to run smoothly right away. Changing your expectations may help you have more patience.

 

2. I've felt that frustration and lack of patience before, and when that happens I know there's something I need to really take a deeper look at. That evening or that weekend I will sit down and try to evaluate if there is anything I can change. Reading a few homeschool books and finding what methods and philosophies you are comfortable with will help with this. I also pray and ask God to show me what's off. Oftentimes it's something that needs to change on my end, not my kids'.

 

3. A routine and a weekly checklist really help to keep everything running smoothly. We all like to know what to expect - kids, too! But I do also let my kids go longer when they really want to. This helps build the "want to" in our educational stuff. Or I let them keep playing pretend that they are women living in Rome even though I know we haven't done language arts yet. If it's constructive or educational I really try to change my plans and allow for that. It's a hard balance, though!

 

4. I try to keep everything low pressure. I require that they do a little bit of math every day but I let them choose how much and which curriculum (we're doing two). And I'M TOTALLY FINE with it if they only do one page. I do sometimes encourage them to do more, but not often. I can do this because I know there will be times when, like tonight when I let them stay up later if they wanted to do some math, they will do 20 pages in a row happily. Letting them have more say in their education really helps it not seem like much of a chore to them. We do this in other subjects, too. Sometimes they ask if they can write a letter to Grandma instead of handwriting for the day. I almost always say yes to requests like this. I'm not a slave to curriculum or schedule.

 

5. Put something fun in each day. A board game for all to play together. Time to jump on the trampoline or go for a bike ride. Play "store" and get in math practice without them realizing (or caring!). Read aloud a fun book. Play with legos. Build a fort.

 

6. Make sure you have at least an hour long break each day. Have them play/read quietly in their rooms so you can have alone time.

 

7. My kids have definitely done the "I don't know" thing (along with hysterics/whining/crying/pouting/tantrums) when they just don't want to turn their brains on. It is FRUSTRATING. What has helped here is to make them aware of it and make it top priority. On the top of our white board I have written "DO HARD THINGS!" because that is our main goal for this year (and was last year, too!). I've had to sit down and talk with my kids about how I really try to give them things that are not too difficult and not too easy but just a little bit challenging (hard). And I give examples (and write them on the board for my 6yo visual learner) of things that would be in each category. They know it is top priority and when they start to throw a fit about something being too hard I take a deep breath, stroke their hair or ask if they need a hug, and ask if they need help. Then I try to slowly lead them to the answer. (I'm still working on this. I had many years of basically giving people the answer and not actually making them work for it when I tutored before.) My almost 8 year old is doing SO much better than last year. My 6 year old cries several times per week because she thinks she can't do something when she really can. I'm telling myself that it will eventually get better!

 

8. Sometimes something may actually be too hard. If you find that it's the same concept or skill that is being complained about, then it might be wise to drop it for a while. Your little one learning to read is a perfect example. Knowing the sounds of the letters and actually putting them together to make a word are two different skills. I would definitely NOT push the issue on that. For most kids there is just a point where they reach a certain mental maturity and it suddenly clicks for them and they can sound out words. I teach my kids the letter sounds and then wait (usually a looooong time, like months or years) until they can finally read consonant/vowel/consonant words. At that point I move on to blends and so forth. If I were you, I'd stop FORMAL reading instruction and just talk throughout the day about sounds. Play a game where he guesses what word you are saying when you separate the sounds out... like, "P-O-T" and he has to yell out "pot!" Do it with longer words if he gets the shorter ones right away. Make it fun!

 

 

 

Overall, just release yourself and your kids from the pressure of perfection. Maybe only do two subjects until those are going well, then add another. IT WILL TAKE TIME to get to where you want to be. Things will get better. You'll get the hang of it. Keep reading here and on other forums. Find homeschool books or websites that you like. But give yourself some grace. You CAN do it!

[abbeyej]

...Or I let them keep playing pretend that they are women living in Rome even though I know we haven't done language arts yet. If it's constructive or educational I really try to change my plans and allow for that. It's a hard balance, though!..

 

This is important! It's one of the reasons why we home school. Especially when mine were littler, if they were playing sweetly together, doing something really creative, I left them to it as much as possible. Yes, keeping a routine is important. But if they were building relationship with each other while building forts in the living room or digging the World's Biggest Hole in the yard or writing menus for their pretend restaurant and training a teddy bear waitstaff or ... Anything like that, I tried to leave them to it. We'd get to math when a natural break came in the play.

 

And I think that is in part why my kids are still such good friends. And *play* teaches so many wonderful, important things that we just can't plan for.

 

Even now (mine are in 4th/5th and 8th grades), occasionally we'll have days like that. The other day they were choreographing a biography-in-dance of Galileo (both of them are dancers), and how on earth could I interrupt that?!? They still got their work done that day -- um, eventually. ;) And isn't it nice that with home schooling it's acceptable to be doing physics and advanced algebra one minute and rolling around on the floor giggling with your sister the next?

[tessbois]

and I've had to cut my work schedule (I own my own business) to part-time so I can stay home more to HS.

 

I didn't read all the responses carefully but I have some thoughts to share as I've been thinking about all of this stuff for some years since we decided to make this shift in our lives.

 

First of all, it is subtle, the insidious part of our culture is that we are not supposed to enjoy our children. How many times have you heard yourself and/or your friends say, "I just can't wait to send the kids back to school, they are driving me crazy!" I've definitely said it in the past. And they did drive me crazy. But, I decided that because I am aware of that, it is important that I rework that attitude within my own heart.

 

The truth of the truth is that I love my kids and I love being around them. I just think that we are told again and again that it is not okay to want to be around your kids. People kind of recoil when you say that you want to homeschool to be around your kids. Some people spend alot of money and time to minimize their contact around their children. One of the reasons our culture has some really messed up aspects to it.

 

But now you are faced with them; so think about the fact that our culture largely does not support you wanting and choosing to be around your children; all the time. In my job I have met many mothers from different cultures and they all say the same thing to me. "We are not like Americans, we don't seek to get rid of our children when they grow up, we never want to get rid of our children." Now, that kind of sounds creepy and needy to lots of Americans. But most people in the world want to be with their children.

 

The other thing is that my dh reminds me that when I leave the house to go to work, I am gone. He works from home. When I leave to go to work, I don't deal with the kids fighting, interfering with business related phone calls, complaining of boredom etc. That's why people don't like to be home...it's messy! And it is. No doubt.

 

I had to admit, going back home to be with my kids seemed ridiculous on some level since our public school is actually pretty okay at educating the kids - at least academically and all of our friends send their kids to the school. And the first week I had to strongly resist the strong impulse to call the school and tell them I made a terrible mistake and the kids will be getting on the bus the next day.

 

The kids questioned my every move and my every motive. They decided I was unfit to be their teacher. We fought. They cried. We have a friend staying with us that I could feel was internally shaking his head at this nutty decision to hs. My dh would teach them math and they would regale him and his teaching skills while telling me, "you are not nice like papa."

 

But I have persevered. I have created a rewards system. I have developed a schedule that doesn't change on some days. I have joined every Homeschool thing their is to join. We go to homeschool swimming lessons, homeschool nature walks, and hs art classes. I introduce my kids to every other hs kid we come in contact with and strike up conversations. I have exhausted them with social stuff.

 

They have become nicer to me. I ask, and they respond in a relatively timely way because they want their reward (are we really so different from dogs?) and because they just are getting used to it. And so am I.

 

And most importantly, they are beginning to see that I really do like them. I smile with them. I want them to come with me places. We are learning Chinese and Latin together. We make fun of our horrible accents and how funny another language sounds to our uneducated ears. They are writing a report about dogs after seeing the film "Hotel for Dogs" and they want to adopt 2 small dogs (we already have one of those kids!)

 

I love my job and get lots of positive strokes from what I do, but I am finding that truly, I love my kids more and want to be with them.

 

Sorry for the long winded post. Feel free to ignore it; it was simply cathartic to write it!

[kolamum]

Considering your eldest is only 7 I'd go slow and steady. It will also help each of you adjust to the new schedule and turn your lives are taking. Keeping lessons engaging can help keep your child's attention, but at 7 they are still easily distracted and will become more focused as they get older.

 

As for helping yourself find grace in dealing with your children and finding your niche in your new roll, have you considered a homeschool conference or some great reading material? You can even round stuff up and have your own private homeschool conference {I did that, and it was such an amazing refreshing experience I plan to do it each and every year!}

 

I bet everyone could name a homeschool book {or two} and several speakers. :lol: I hesitate to name any because I know each person's homeschooling style can be so different and thus their enjoyment of books and speakers can, of course, vary.

 

However, I do believe there are some online conferences coming up you might want to look into. ;)

[FO4UR]

Mine aren't much older than yours...

 

Short lessons. Take turns with them, get down on the floor and play for the 2yo's "turn."

 

Change the medium. Handwriting with fingerpaints and reading/spelling with magnet letters...math with M&M's. Pull it off of the page for them sometimes...especially with new or tricky things.

 

For reading, my mantra is "Say the sound as you see it." I uncover one sound at a time, using a cursor (3x5 card with a notch cut out of the corner). A finger works as well. If they draw a blank on a sound, I just say it for/with them...repetition is the key...

 

As for patience, yikes! My best days happen when I am completely 100% focused on the kids during a set school time, ignoring all else.

[hobbystamper]

Thanks for your advice. They are so precious to me.

 

I am praying every morning for God to help me to have the patience... because I definitely cannot do it on my own.

 

I guess part of all these are caused by my own self-induced pressure that I must succeed in hs-ing them to justify why we are hs-ing them. I guess deep down I might have feared that what if my DS still could not read (under my "teaching), what if I am ruining my kids' education, what ifs... etc.

 

I do read blogs but sometimes that leaves me feeling more insecured because they all seem to have it together while here I am, struggling..

 

I will definitely check in here more often for creative ideas because I am so not creative when it comes to teaching.

[justamouse]

Thanks for your advice. They are so precious to me.

 

I am praying every morning for God to help me to have the patience... because I definitely cannot do it on my own.

 

I guess part of all these are caused by my own self-induced pressure that I must succeed in hs-ing them to justify why we are hs-ing them. I guess deep down I might have feared that what if my DS still could not read (under my "teaching), what if I am ruining my kids' education, what ifs... etc.

 

I do read blogs but sometimes that leaves me feeling more insecured because they all seem to have it together while here I am, struggling..

 

I will definitely check in here more often for creative ideas because I am so not creative when it comes to teaching.

 

 

Well, see, God answered your prayer. You asked for patience, and now you are homeschooling so you can work on that virtue! :D

 

This is a marathon, not a sprint. I remember feeling that pressured, too, and some of that is good, it's your good mommy radar trying to do what's best by them. But you can't let it eat you alive, either. So keep the fear in check.

 

You can do this. :grouphug:

[EmeraldGirl]

You have received great responses already, and I definitely agree with the take sometime to adjust to being home 24/7 and "deschooling" so you and the children will learn how to enjoy one another.

 

I would like to comment specifically on the fact that your son isn't blending the phonograms into words yet. It is wonderful that he knows the sounds. It can be one of the most difficult and frustrating parts of learning to read (for the parent) to sit quietly and patiently for our children to starting "reading". Your son is learning to read. It takes some children a bit more time for it to "click". And even with my 4 youngest, 1 can read well but it isn't quick & smooth yet. And 1 has LDs so I am right where you are, but I see him progressing, albeit v.e.r.y s.l.o.w.l.y, but he is coming along.

 

If anything, homeschooling will provide you plenty of opportunities to learn patience. How else can we learn that virtue without the experiences??!!

 

Enjoy the journey!

Lisa in DE

[MelissaMinNC]

Your kids are very young, and you are all very new to this. It's going to take some time to adjust. :grouphug:

 

To help keep them focused, I do (and/or have done) lots of different things. Key thing - short, SHORT lessons! For a 5yo just starting to read, I would not make those lessons any longer than 10 minutes. Your oldest child is 7 - I would not make any of her lessons longer than 15 minutes. (If math takes longer, I'd break it up into 2 sessions.) I'd tell them I need them to concentrate and work as hard as they can for the next ____ minutes, and then we can switch and do something else. If you set 15 minutes as a time for a lesson, and they work hard and get done in 10 minutes, they get 5 minutes of free time.

 

Change the lessons up, so you do one seatwork/pencil lesson and then one that's different - math, then a read-aloud, then copywork, then a science experiment - something like that. It helps to keep attention focused.

 

If you are a Christian, I would read "Lies Homeschooling Moms Believe" by Todd Wilson to help with the "I'm not a good enough teacher for my kids." The short answer is - yes, you are.

 

If you would like more reading for yourself, I LOVE "For the Children's Sake" by Susan Schaeffer Macauley (I hope I spelled that right).

 

Also, I don't live so far from you that we couldn't meet up for a playdate or something. My kids are similar in ages to yours. I'd be happy to talk, take a look at your schedule, your curriculum, just whatever you think would be helpful if you're interested. Feel free to pm me. I'm not an expert, but sometimes it's just good to have someone to talk to in person. :grouphug:

 

Hi

 

I am new to homeschooling. I just started in Aug. I was a full time working mom before this. We basically started homeschooling because we felt called to do this.

 

I need some advice really badly. I am still struggling with my role change from a fulltime working mom to a full time homeschooling mom. I feel like I am not a good teacher to my kids. I am not patient. I tried very hard but when they are not focusing on their work and they simply said "i don't know" without trying, I just get so frustrated. For eg. my son would look at a word (we are learning to read here), and said I don't know. But he knows each sound from that word, and when I prompt him letter by letter, he could do it. So it is not that they don't know, but they are just not putting in the effort.

 

Anyway, i need advice on two things:

 

1) How do you keep your patience with your child during school? Any strategies or tips?

2) Any tips on helping them to focus in their schoolwork? Or is this something they will outgrow in time to come?

 

Thanks.

[jplain]

Go easy on the 5 year old. Blending is a complicated skill, and it sounds like he isn't quite there yet. Don't worry, that's totally normal. With both of my kids, we reached a point where they knew the letter sounds perfectly, but just couldn't make the leap from sounds to blending into a word. At some point blending clicked in their brains, and we were able to continue moving through our phonics studies.

 

If you and he are frustrated, just drop phonics completely and try again in a month, or earlier if you notice that he's suddenly showing interest in sounding out words. Really, it's fine to take it slow. Lots of kids aren't quite ready to read at age 5. :)

[warneral]

Gosh, what a wonderful thread this is.

 

To the OP, thank you for starting it. I am in the same boat (the last few years I worked part time and even had 2 days to myself at home). The analogy I've been pondering on lately is that I feel like I did when I had infants/toddlers. I had gotten used to my children not needing me as much. I will admit I even liked it! No I'm pouring 90% of my energy into teaching them and just being with them constantly. Of course, one big reason for homeschooling is turning the tables around on that, and it is something I even signed up for (knowingly). Living it, however, can take some adjustment ;)

 

The advice in this thread has been especially helpful for me. Thanks to all who replied.

 

Oh Stamper - one more thing - it looks like you are a scrapbooker? I happen to have several hobbies I like to do (sewing, knitting, bicycling). It seems I've given them up and poured myself into this single task of homeschooling. I'm looking to take the opportunity to bring my hobbies back into my life a bit so that I can bring in some balance.

 

Praying daily is definitely great. My other advice is to ask DH to pray for you when you are struggling> When I'm having a tough day, I call DH and tell him my struggle while I also remember to breathe. Often I can tell that he has been specifically praying for our situation as I feel God is helping me pull it together. I also try to call dh on good days so he doesn't just get the "help I'm freaking out!" phone calls.

[dragons in the flower bed]

For eg. my son would look at a word (we are learning to read here), and said I don't know. But he knows each sound from that word, and when I prompt him letter by letter, he could do it. So it is not that they don't know, but they are just not putting in the effort.

 

 

You have been given a lot of great advice here. I agree with all of it. I mostly want to say that every single kid does what you describe here. I didn't want you to think that it's just your guys. We all have to teach our kids good habits.

 

I held off on the bribery until this year, but when I added my youngest I decided one piece of candy per enthusiastically completed subject was worth it -- they only do five or so subjects a day, and five sour gummis a day isn't going to negatively affect their health.