I.Dup. Posted October 2, 2011 Share Posted October 2, 2011 Can you tell I'm hard on myself? LOL I know I'm not a lazy mom. I work d@mn hard. Notice the ages of the children in my sig. Just so you don't think I am a slave driver and require too much of my children-- my house is almost always within 10 minutes of being company ready and my children are not required to do more than fold an occasional load of laundry and pick up after themselves once in awhile (in other words, I do pretty much everything and I do it well, darn it :tongue_smilie:). HOWEVER, I often feel lazy because of how much time I spend in front of a computer. This seems to be my "home base" from whence I do everything else. Do I jump up 500 times a day to clean a mess, fix a meal, deal with a fight, teach the children, change a diaper, and on and on? Yes. But you can pretty much always find me here at every other minute. I worry that when my children are grown and think of me, they will picture me in front of a computer. :001_unsure: I guess since the internet is relatively new in civilization, I feel guilty about this...like it is less worthy than, say, spending all day down at the creek washing dishes or mending clothes sitting in the rocker or whatever else our ancestors spent all day doing. ;) I guess in a big way it is less worthy than that...? LOL If it helps at all, I do work at home FROM the computer, but that is a relatively new development for me and I was online just as much before then. Sigh. I guess I need to know...am I a useless mom because I spend so much time online? Will my children resent me for it, even though I keep a clean house, spend quite a bit of time and energy bonding with them and encouraging them, school them from home, take care of basically their every need, and on and on? What if they do always picture me in front of a computer? Is that the end of the world? Can you tell I have issues? FWIW, I am pretty lazy, I asked my dh to walk into the bedroom to get the baby for me because I didn't want to get up. :tongue_smilie:Is that bad? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted October 2, 2011 Share Posted October 2, 2011 Are you calling me lazy? :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I.Dup. Posted October 3, 2011 Author Share Posted October 3, 2011 Well at least I'm not alone? :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kiana Posted October 3, 2011 Share Posted October 3, 2011 Oh hogwash. Would it be better if you spent a load of time reading novels? Better if you spent a load of time playing bridge with the other ladies in your bridge club? Better if you spent a load of time watching television or listening to the radio? Everyone needs some down time occasionally. Different people just choose to spend it in different places. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
seraphina Posted October 3, 2011 Share Posted October 3, 2011 Moms have always found something to be guilty about. We question if we are doing a good enough job or even if someone else is doing better. So basically what I am saying is that nope you aren't lazy, you are a mom who questions if she is doing enough. If you didn't question that then maybe you should be worried. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LauraGB Posted October 3, 2011 Share Posted October 3, 2011 You don't sound useless to me. I mean, if all you did was sit on the computer while your kids were a mess, your house is a disaster, the dishes are piled, the trash is falling out of the can and dinner is coming from whichever restaurant that will deliver it...again, and it's like that day after day, well, then I might have to change my opinion. But your situation doesn't sound anything at all like that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted October 3, 2011 Share Posted October 3, 2011 When I was a teen I heard these words to live by: "Ask a lazy person the fastest way to do something." The thought being that a lazy person will do it quickly and correctly so he doesn't have to do it again or spend too much time doing it. Yeah, I'm a lazy person. But I've done everything I need to do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I.Dup. Posted October 3, 2011 Author Share Posted October 3, 2011 But your situation doesn't sound anything at all like that. No, not at all. I may be lazy but I'm also a clean/germ freak. :tongue_smilie: Yeah, I'm a lazy person. But I've done everything I need to do. :iagree: Thank you all for the reassurance, maybe I am just feeling more insecure with all of these postpartum hormones. :001_rolleyes: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CarolfromIL Posted October 3, 2011 Share Posted October 3, 2011 No, I think the computer has replaced the TV for many people. My mother would spend each day starting out with the Today show, Oprah, Price is Right, All My Children, Guiding Light, As the World Turns, Maury, etc etc. etc..... This would fill her day along with teaching us kids. Like the computer, the TV often served as background noise for her and my sisters and I as we performed our school work. The Television was one-way communication---and the computer lets us interact in front of that screen--- instead of just staring at it all day like my mother did. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LAS in LA Posted October 3, 2011 Share Posted October 3, 2011 IMO, Mothers with newborns have a free pass to relax as much as possible. Asking DH to bring you the baby is NOT lazy! From what you described, it doesn't sound like you are a lazy person. It does bother me, too, to think of my children remembering me in front of the computer (not for work). This is one reason I consciously decided to give myself less screen time when they are awake/around. Yes, it's better than having the TV on, but still, my expression is passive; they don't see any interaction, just passive looking. If I am reading a book, at least they know my brain is working (because they know what it's like to read). We have a two-hour naptime in the afternoon and they go to bed around 8pm, so I'm not forum-deprived. :001_smile: FWIW, the other reason I wanted to restrict computer time is that I get sucked into web-surfing and thread-reading and have a hard time logging off. I don't like the feeling that I can't stop -- that's addictive behaviour and I'd rather back off a little and be in control of my online self! (Not to mention that I usually have dishes to wash!) But again, you sound like you are doing fine. Best wishes with the new little one! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I.Dup. Posted October 3, 2011 Author Share Posted October 3, 2011 No, I think the computer has replaced the TV for many people. My mother would spend each day starting out with the Today show, Oprah, Price is Right, All My Children, Guiding Light, As the World Turns, Maury, etc etc. etc..... This would fill her day along with teaching us kids. Like the computer, the TV often served as background noise for her and my sisters and I as we performed our school work. The Television was one-way communication---and the computer lets us interact in front of that screen--- instead of just staring at it all day like my mother did. Did you or your siblings resent your mom for being this way? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KungFuPanda Posted October 3, 2011 Share Posted October 3, 2011 I think becoming a mom = feeling guilty If ANYONE else in your family spent some time doing something they found relaxing or entertaining, would you consider them lazy? I'm guessing you'd probably think they SHOULD spend some time enjoying themselves now and then and not think less of them. I think we should treat ourselves how we want our daughters to treat THEMselves . . . like people, not servants. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CarolfromIL Posted October 3, 2011 Share Posted October 3, 2011 Did you or your siblings resent your mom for being this way? Not till we were adults! As kids, we didn't know any better. We were just grateful to have our mom! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I.Dup. Posted October 3, 2011 Author Share Posted October 3, 2011 Not till we were adults! As kids, we didn't know any better. We were just grateful to have our mom! LOL, well I would certainly consider that still resenting! :( What did you resent her for? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CarolfromIL Posted October 3, 2011 Share Posted October 3, 2011 That's a tough question and would require significant time on a couch! lol. My husband insurance plan only allows 10 EAP visits per year---and that would only scratch the surface. Bottom line---too many other issues mixed together to make sense of how I feel about my mother... :001_huh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I.Dup. Posted October 3, 2011 Author Share Posted October 3, 2011 How much of it had to do with her watching too much TV? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marylou Posted October 3, 2011 Share Posted October 3, 2011 Our computer is in a very public, busy place in the house-right in the eating area. It is very tempting for me to renew library books, balance my checkbook, go to forums, check my calendar, etc., etc. while my dc are eating lunch. So for the most part, I've been trying to stay off the computer when they are in this area, and I now make an extra effort to eat lunch at the table with them. We have had some great conversations since I made that decision. I don't do it b/c I worry about them resenting me. I just know that each passing day they are closer to being out on their own and I will miss them so much. I want them to remember that they are more important to me than multitasking and checking things off my TD list! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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